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Old 05-08-2010, 23:32   #826
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Salty,
I am a bit confused, and I must admit I haven't read all your posts. I was wondering, are you looking for a mate to cruise with?
E
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Old 06-08-2010, 01:26   #827
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and from all this, i guess i am left to think i will not find a partner who would come sail with me on board my cruiser?
this kinda reinforces the info i already gathered on this topic--is an interesting one.
so i guess i should stop looking and just go sailing lol as i will be doing this winter......ye think??
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Old 06-08-2010, 03:52   #828
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Hey Salty,

your luck has changed cos this sounds like the first serious chat up line here for ages.
Be nice, dont scare her off and dont blow it ok.
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Salty,
I am a bit confused, and I must admit I haven't read all your posts. I was wondering, are you looking for a mate to cruise with?
E
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Old 06-08-2010, 05:50   #829
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Finding "it"

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Perfect Feral! No one could say it better - my sentiments exactly.
Thanks, Margo. When I waxed eloquent about vulnerability and openness, the group was into goat jokes. I was starting to think that cleverness scored higher than awareness.

Awright, a goat walks into a bar.....

John
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Old 06-08-2010, 05:58   #830
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Crew position?

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and from all this, i guess i am left to think i will not find a partner who would come sail with me on board my cruiser?
Zee --

Perish the thought! Keep in mind that some men will be put off a bit by your strength and independence, but you're hoping to find ONE mate, right? And if it starts getting good, feeling important, think about the line between hers, his, and ours. Love doesn't do well behind fences.

John
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Old 06-08-2010, 07:25   #831
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I am a female young 50 year old Canadian in Mexico now, but soon to be moving to Florida, are there any sailing buddies around Sarasota Bay looking for a buddy to sail with?
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Old 06-08-2010, 07:37   #832
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Kcee, also try the "crew" section on this forum. hope you find your sailing buddies .
Erika
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Old 06-08-2010, 08:49   #833
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Ocean Girl

The title of this forum is

Single Sailors Seeking Soul Mates

not

Single Sailors Seeking Mates Who Have Boats To Squat Off Of

or

Single Sailors Seeking Soul Mates Who Want To Squat Off Your Boat

but its more complicated that just that
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Old 06-08-2010, 08:51   #834
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and from all this, i guess i am left to think i will not find a partner who would come sail with me on board my cruiser?
this kinda reinforces the info i already gathered on this topic--is an interesting one.
so i guess i should stop looking and just go sailing lol as i will be doing this winter......ye think??
Zee

You will find someone. Keep your options open here and other places. Hiding under a bridge with the pigeons won't do it. So, yes you should go sailing too!! mexico?
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Old 06-08-2010, 09:02   #835
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Ocean Girl

The title of this forum is

Single Sailors Seeking Soul Mates

not

Single Sailors Seeking Mates Who Have Boats To Squat Off Of

or

Single Sailors Seeking Soul Mates Who Want To Squat Off Your Boat

but its more complicated that just that
I am more confused (but hey, its a state of mind for me ). Not trying to put you on the spot or anything but just to be clear, this is a group to find a mate to sail with...

Introduction to the SSSSM group:

This group is for those who have the dream, but not the mate.

Singles Sailors Seeking Soul Mates is a group for those who are looking for a long term relationship, life partner, or a soul mate to share their sailing/boating adventures. Whether it's chugging up the Mississippi in a beautiful trawler, sailing around the bay or around the world, it's living the dream and having someone to share it with. If you donít have that mate, Single Sailors Seeking Soul Mates is a great place to start.

If a more party-like atmosphere, with casual dating, is your speed Ė good on ya. But that is not why this group was created.



So confirmed single handers are not exactly what this group is about, but again maybe I am misunderstanding your posts.
Cheers,
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Old 06-08-2010, 09:05   #836
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What is a "Soul Mate"?

IMHO, this is a lot like the recent "deal breakers" discussion. So much of this is subjective and personal, and hard to articulate for a lot of people. Sailing folks being out-of-the-box thinkers (and do-ers) does not make it any easier. Conformity is not our collective strong suit.

Still, if I find a connection with a woman who gets me, and wants me, and needs me a little bit but not too much, and brings out the best in me, and if the feelings are reciprocated, it will be "our" boat, no matter who plunked down the check initially. The work, the play, the costs, the fun, the friends, the decisions, etc., etc., ad infinitum, will be OURS.

That's "togetherness" in my world. Some find it confining or too great a compromise. Some find a different way to make it work. Some try all of these things and never get it right.

Love means giving, not limiting. You get all of me, the good, the great, the not so great, and even the stuff Lucifer doesn't want to know. And I expect the same from you. And we will find our way, together, and be stronger for it.

For some, that's way too much exposure, too much vulnerability or too great a risk. I think it's the only way.

John
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Old 06-08-2010, 09:36   #837
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Feral Cement View Post
IMHO, this is a lot like the recent "deal breakers" discussion. So much of this is subjective and personal, and hard to articulate for a lot of people. Sailing folks being out-of-the-box thinkers (and do-ers) does not make it any easier. Conformity is not our collective strong suit.

Still, if I find a connection with a woman who gets me, and wants me, and needs me a little bit but not too much, and brings out the best in me, and if the feelings are reciprocated, it will be "our" boat, no matter who plunked down the check initially. The work, the play, the costs, the fun, the friends, the decisions, etc., etc., ad infinitum, will be OURS.

That's "togetherness" in my world. Some find it confining or too great a compromise. Some find a different way to make it work. Some try all of these things and never get it right.

Love means giving, not limiting. You get all of me, the good, the great, the not so great, and even the stuff Lucifer doesn't want to know. And I expect the same from you. And we will find our way, together, and be stronger for it.

For some, that's way too much exposure, too much vulnerability or too great a risk. I think it's the only way.

John

what you said but put it from a female point of view...--i am a giver/sharer---what i have i essentially give away to those i care about

when i find a sailpartner, is "our boat"--and "home"----no matter who owns it--the barriers seem to disappear with sailing long distances--the boat is just another part of the family needing attention and care--
isnt a matter of squatting on a boat--is a matter of sharing that boat and going forward....ownership can be a speed bump-i dont know if i would sell my boat if i met someone who wanted me to cruise on his..there would have to be a helluva pull/draw toward him if i were to consider selling my home for sailing with an unknown entity. or an awfully safe place to stash my boat until such time as cruising ceases or is time to sail mine---if it were to work out--then i could consider other plans--like selling and buying something if-or when- the relationship ceases to be......
mexico in december, if my woodworker is correct----haul in puerto escondido to do my bottom work and then i can go out farther...destination tbd.


isnt finding a soulmate all about learning everything you can and finding out who you can be a partner with and be comfortable with--in this, we need to know the other person's sailing style and ideals--and habits--single handing is a way of learning this--talking about single handing gives away some of the info that we keep inside that could just help with the understanding of that other soul so a partnership base is in formation even tho the topic might be solo sailing--is geared toward seeing and feeliing out the others to see what is out there....and sharing ideas and needs and wants as a result of the sharing ---does that make sense to you guys?? is hard to verbalize that....

men and goats have some things in common.....one is the silk panties thing--they both try to eat them......but man shows his higher intelligence by placing them on his head ......
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Old 06-08-2010, 09:54   #838
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Quote:
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I am more confused (but hey, its a state of mind for me ). Not trying to put you on the spot or anything but just to be clear, this is a group to find a mate to sail with...

Introduction to the SSSSM group:

This group is for those who have the dream, but not the mate.

Singles Sailors Seeking Soul Mates is a group for those who are looking for a long term relationship, life partner, or a soul mate to share their sailing/boating adventures. Whether it's chugging up the Mississippi in a beautiful trawler, sailing around the bay or around the world, it's living the dream and having someone to share it with. If you don’t have that mate, Single Sailors Seeking Soul Mates is a great place to start.

If a more party-like atmosphere, with casual dating, is your speed – good on ya. But that is not why this group was created.



So confirmed single handers are not exactly what this group is about, but again maybe I am misunderstanding your posts.
Cheers,
Erika
You're not reading correctly your own prologue. There is nothing in your statement here that says a soul mate has to be on your boat 100% in ALL conditions and ALL passages, only about sailing in general. I already gave my opinion regarding sailing offshore in the deep blue which I have a strict restriction on.

If you're wanting to make this an exclusive group, barring people from joining in discussions unless they meet strict conditions, then you need to make that very clear what those conditions are. And if it's going to turn into that kind of click and with inbred members, well, no thank you. We already see enough of that. Sorry to offend your expectations about people.
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Old 06-08-2010, 10:08   #839
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i dont know if i would sell my boat if i met someone who wanted me to cruise on his..there would have to be a helluva pull/draw toward him if i were to consider selling my home for sailing with an unknown entity.
Zee:

A boat is just that. A boat. Your boat. It has nothing to do with a relationship. It's a personal space for yourself. Everyone needs one. What makes it complex is your personal space can move. But so can a car. If you had a soul mate, would you share the same car too? Or would you both most likely have separate cars?

Sum up:

There's no reason why you and your mate cannot have separate boats and sail to the same spot. Anchor, and raft up. There's no reason why you both cannot sail around with one anchored exploring areas and then coming back and moving both together to the next one. If that works for both of you. It might also add flexibility in how both of you go sailing. It might even be good for a relatonship starting out.

Bottom line:

Finding a soul mate is hard enough. Putting conditions on how you both interact with sailing is unfair. It's something I believe best left to the individual and relationship to work out for themselves.
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Old 06-08-2010, 10:38   #840
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i have enjoyed the idea of buddy boating as a start up point--is a safe place to begin and each has his/her own space for unwinding and farting and belching and scratching hidden places.

sharing is a something folks have a lot of difficulty with---some arent able and some overdo it...is always good to know where the lines are drawn.
single sailors are just that--solo artistes....when a solo artiste gives in and tries to find a partner, isnt easy --a starting place is always a good idea. here is a starting lace to be verbal and silly and get to know others with whom much is shared and common ground--beats trying to advertise in pof--there is no basis for anything there--is a fishing pond--this is sorting the fishies..lol..seeing what kind of ideas and ideals others have and what we are within ourselves, the most important thing in any relationhship is the team,which means understanding the self---there needs to be a basis for growth. sharing something is a decent beginning---even if that which is shared is merely stories of solo sailing. more reasons why solo sailors have a difficulty in finding soulmates---
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