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Old 05-08-2010, 19:53   #811
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saltymonkey cannot, will not, live with such thoughts every day while lovely dovey on board.
So you never drive with a loved one in the car?

Please. You have to understand that women are people, fully capable of assessing risk and voluntarily accepting those risks. We're not talking a child here. Try to be less patronizing.
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Old 05-08-2010, 20:01   #812
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Originally Posted by SaltyMonkey View Post
............

saltymonkey cannot, will not, live with such thoughts every day while lovely dovey on board.
........

Sorry to paraphrase or curtail your full quote but, at the end of the day either I missed something or you didnt completely answer the "theoretical question".

Whilst totally agreeing with your worries about the responsibilities - heck, I worry about paid crew,who are most certainly not my lovely dovey - you have to remember that its a two-way street and your crew be they paid, unpaid, sex-toy or significant other also has thoughts and responsibilities in situations.

....and now I'm conscious of the fact that I, whilst "accusing" (in the nicest possible way) you of not answering a question, have not, myself, either really answered it or indeed asked a supplementary!! T
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Old 05-08-2010, 20:11   #813
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Originally Posted by flysci View Post
So you never drive with a loved one in the car?
Dont go down the road (pun?) of telling me its the same as driving or flying...its banal.

Quote:
Originally Posted by flysci View Post
Please. You have to understand that women are people, fully capable of assessing risk and voluntarily accepting those risks. We're not talking a child here. Try to be less patronizing.
Patronizing? Are you aware of what the definition of the word "patronizing" is? I originally told you a few posts back that it could be ANYONE aboard my boat. It has nothing to do with feeling superior. It has everything to do with my own responsibility and my own relationship to it.

And please try not to lecture based on your own projections and expectations. I was asked the question, and I answered it truthfully. I'm not trying to change you. Please don't expect to change me.

Sorry flysci if this comes off strong. I'm typing pretty quick and its been a long day.
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Old 05-08-2010, 20:13   #814
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SaltyMonkey View Post
............

saltymonkey cannot, will not, live with such thoughts every day while lovely dovey on board.
........

Sorry to paraphrase or curtail your full quote but, at the end of the day either I missed something or you didnt completely answer the "theoretical question".

Whilst totally agreeing with your worries about the responsibilities - heck, I worry about paid crew,who are most certainly not my lovely dovey - you have to remember that its a two-way street and your crew be they paid, unpaid, sex-toy or significant other also has thoughts and responsibilities in situations.

....and now I'm conscious of the fact that I, whilst "accusing" (in the nicest possible way) you of not answering a question, have not, myself, either really answered it or indeed asked a supplementary!! T
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Old 05-08-2010, 20:14   #815
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bvimatelot View Post
........

Sorry to paraphrase or curtail your full quote but, at the end of the day either I missed something or you didnt completely answer the "theoretical question".

Whilst totally agreeing with your worries about the responsibilities - heck, I worry about paid crew,who are most certainly not my lovely dovey - you have to remember that its a two-way street and your crew be they paid, unpaid, sex-toy or significant other also has thoughts and responsibilities in situations.

....and now I'm conscious of the fact that I, whilst "accusing" (in the nicest possible way) you of not answering a question, have not, myself, either really answered it or indeed asked a supplementary!! T

bvimatelot. Its non-negotiable. Perhaps you are a better captain and leader than I am. I accept that, and my own limitations. Isn't that it? Know your limitations. And here's was one of mine.
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Old 05-08-2010, 20:19   #816
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I should also add this is in deep bluewater offshore situations. If this was someplace like the Chesapeake or carib or coastal, I'm more comfortable.
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Old 05-08-2010, 20:41   #817
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Being a Gemini type:

…. You know someone full of confidence, who needs to get inspired before doing something.

I’m the type who tends to move on to new challenges before finishing the one I am working on….too open to changing things at the last minute.

I am a Person full of contradictions….. but painfully loyal.

I need a woman who will inspire me to believe that her happiness translates into my own. (the importance of being selfish)

I need an anchor, a focused waypoint in a partner, who will help get me across that goal line.

I need to be the protector, the breadwinner and the navigator…I’m good at it, but I am lousy at remembering daily details.

I also need a partner who has the patience and sense of humor to laugh at my contradictions, yet still has the confidence in me to know that we will work it out.

I need our lovemaking to be intense, mutually satisfying and varied. She will then know that one night sexcapades with a stranger will hold no attraction for me and will never threaten our relationship.…….did I mention the loyalty bit? ….. that is the source of my moral energy and monogamy.

Both of us need to be happy with who we are and recognize that we do not need changing.

I need that person to also need me for reasons that they are comfortable with without being desperate.

Wants are negotiable…. Needs are not.
Now that is what I call a real (sailor) man speaking his mind.. The gal that captures your heart will be very blessed.
Cheers,
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Old 05-08-2010, 21:13   #818
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Now that is what I call a real (sailor) man speaking his mind.. The gal that captures your heart will be very blessed.
Cheers,
Erika
Yes, agreed. Beautiful sexy!

Wow! I need sleep and was not going to be tempted to post.

I am observing that more women understand directly what I was saying. Among Some of the men, there was a total disconect. Again, a faster way to pull weeds. It might be my communication style. Not sure. But I think my point was clearly stated. Correct me if wrong.*

Wants are not needs and you should do your best to discover the diference in what you personally value.*

Leave the rest and go with the best that is right for you. It's in your best interest to Not try to convince another person that they should want the same as you. Let it go. Focus on your own needs and wants and stop distracting yourself. Just saying *

** * *
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Old 05-08-2010, 21:32   #819
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What a crazy line of stuff lol
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Old 05-08-2010, 21:43   #820
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Oh so theoretical zee so theoretical oh my my! I am not sure but mega issues with people on my boat because of responsibility like if we like were in tight situation and like boat was lost and we were in water in storm chewing ice creme gum. I would not like to look to lovey dovey one last time to say:

"ooops. Lovey dovey, sorry to trouble you, but we are truly F**Ked. My bad. Hugs?"

or like i come on deck for watch time and find lovey dovey gone and only Sudoko book out on deck.

saltymonkey cannot, will not, live with such thoughts every day while lovely dovey on board.
There is no life without death. It's just like that and we are all in it together. Be a shame not to whistle a loved one aboard or join them on their deck because of fear of the inevitable. We take precations to not hasten the inevitable but it does come. It's a waste of life to try and dodge that particular pain.
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Old 05-08-2010, 21:53   #821
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Yes hummingway. Thank you for your comments. Im aware very strongly about that in more ways than I choose to say here. I've seen first hand what nature can do...what the sea can do to small boats, people and land. But I'd rather be hated, called a coward, looked down upon, criticized, laughed at, scoffed or kicked around than to put someone else in danger un-necessarily. I'm not romancing the idea, quite the opposite. They can go with someone else, be happy with someone else, stay home on shore, or whatever they choose. But, in the end, I'll have my conscience and my principles to live by.
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Old 05-08-2010, 22:04   #822
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Needs, wants

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Old 05-08-2010, 22:04   #823
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Yes hummingway. Thank you for your comments. Im aware very strongly about that in more ways than I choose to say here. I've seen first hand what nature can do...what the sea can do to small boats, people and land. But I'd rather be hated, called a coward, looked down upon, criticized, laughed at, scoffed or kicked around than to put someone else in danger un-necessarily. I'm not romancing the idea, quite the opposite. They can go with someone else, be happy with someone else, stay home on shore, or whatever they choose. But, in the end, I'll have my conscience and my principles to live by.
I think you missed my point. It isn't that you would put someone else at danger unnecessarily but rather that someone might choose to go with you, or you might choose to go with someone else and neither of these choices will change the ultimate outcome of your lives. Only what happens along the way. I hardly think it is an issue of conscience or principle though. Death happens. I can't see the point in living life as though we can avoid it. Love happens too but that is something that isn't inevitable.
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Old 05-08-2010, 22:30   #824
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I want you to need me; I need you to want me.
Perfect Feral! No one could say it better - my sentiments exactly.

And Salty ... sorry I came on so strong. Reading over what I wrote, I was more harsh than I meant. I think Pelagic has enunciated my thoughts better than I could.

And I'm with Ocean Girl - what a wonderful post from Pelagic about his needs. That's someone i could love. Especially this: "I need a woman who will inspire me to believe that her happiness translates into my own." Haven't a clue how to do it though. I guess that's love - it either is or it just isn't.

Margo
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Old 05-08-2010, 23:27   #825
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Hey flysci - no problem. You're still coolio mundo in my eyes.\\//

hummingway - do what you will and I'm sure it works out for you. But this works for me - and there is still room for some of the zen-now-ness in it if you know where to look.
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