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Old 05-08-2010, 13:03   #781
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I NEED someone who can hold a course and keep from hurting herself constantly.

I asked the last girl I dated (who I paid $300 to put through sailing class, btw) to hold a course for about 30 seconds while I grabbed something out of the cabin.

I came back up to find we'd turned 90-degrees to starboard. She stood up from behind the wheel and walked right in front of the boom as we jibed -- got smacked square in the back of the head.

Every weekend ended with her inflicting some kind of similar injury upon herself. I'm sure her friends and family thought I was beating her.
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Old 05-08-2010, 13:17   #782
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These are all reasons I don't have people on my boat (when I have one). I'm not comfortable with the safety responsibility whether they are experienced or not. Or the kind of people they turn out to be. I'm one of those sailors who would want you just to sit there and don't move or say anything, and act as cargo. I'll even do the laundry and cooking.

Jetexas - had a similar friend. gave compass heading and point to sail to. Came back on deck and we were 180 degrees!
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Old 05-08-2010, 13:28   #783
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Bad Skippers

Giving folks responsibility that they were not competent to perform


(enuf of the group hugging ***** )
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Old 05-08-2010, 13:30   #784
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Needs are very different from wants. Very good if many of your needs are being met, and you are meeting those of your SO. Can one person meet all of your needs? Hell NO! There are friends, family, hobbies, etc. Needs are very, very, different than being needy.*
*
To name a few of my needs,
I need to trust the man I知 with is honest,
I need affection
I need humor
I need communication
I need monogamy
*
Wants,
He値l like art
He値l love all the same music that I do
He値l never watch sporting events
He値l be smarter than me (not hard to be)
He値l always put the toilet seat back down


If I were to eliminate men based on wants alone, I'd be eliminating a lot of very nice men. I've elimintated a large population for want of a sailor. **
*
*
You can develop a very strong relationship even if you Can't always get what you want



*And what Zee says, the gut and the brain can稚 be arguing with one another.
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Old 05-08-2010, 13:32   #785
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Thats a whole topic. I DONT crew for anyone anymore. No way!

I once had an opportunity to sail around the world with two females. Boy, that would have been fun if you get my drift. They were good people too. But the skipper, as smart and intelligent and educated as she was, just didn't have a sense about safety and being aware of the boat. I also had a heart for my own boat. Feels empty not having your own.
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Old 05-08-2010, 13:48   #786
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Originally Posted by Gadagirl View Post
To name a few of my needs,
I need to trust the man I知 with is honest,
I need affection
I need humor
I need communication
I need monogamy
*
Wants,
He値l like art
He値l love all the same music that I do
He値l never watch sporting events
He値l be smarter than me (not hard to be)
He値l always put the toilet seat back down
At first glance, I thought that said, "I need mahogany."

What's your definition of art appreciation?

Are we talking this?
http://blogs.princeton.edu/wri152-3/...in-galette.jpg

Or this?
Google Image Result for http://www.gizmoandwidget.com/bmz_cache/6/6602790769bcc4513b1c6f0a103f4d21.image.119x150.jpg

Or this?
Paint by numbers canvas paintings - Art Sets - Shop - ZSL
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Old 05-08-2010, 13:56   #787
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Originally Posted by Gadagirl View Post
To name a few of my needs,
I need to trust the man I知 with is honest,
I need affection
I need humor
I need communication
I need monogamy
*
Wants,
He値l like art
He値l love all the same music that I do
He値l never watch sporting events
He値l be smarter than me (not hard to be)
He値l always put the toilet seat back down
The man you want does not play for our team.
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Old 05-08-2010, 13:58   #788
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The difference between mahogany and monogamy is, ....one is a wood and the other kills wood
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Old 05-08-2010, 14:03   #789
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The difference between mahogany and monogamy is, ....one is a wood and the other kills wood
OUCH....
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Old 05-08-2010, 14:11   #790
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The difference between mahogany and monogamy is, ....one is a wood and the other kills wood
ROFL!!!
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Old 05-08-2010, 15:03   #791
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The man you want does not play for our team.
Exactly my point. You can eliminate too many by putting too much emphisis on your wants alone. I can go do something artsy tartsy while he watches the game. It's not a deal breaker. The man I Need might be here. *
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Old 05-08-2010, 15:54   #792
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I don't watch sports, but you lost me with the toilet seat thing ...
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Old 05-08-2010, 16:16   #793
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Aren't we deep today. Great stuff.

Now here is the question to you ladies. How many of you have ever been lied to by a man? I am guessing very few, but what do I know?
ROFL! Mule, seriously? You must have known some awfully nice men, then. Or else men who would not tell you what they were up to, for whatever reason (religion?).

Sorry for "butting in" on the singles thread, but I dropped by b/c I've been enjoying the wit and wisdom and some of the very colorful, funny, excellent attitudes. Can't imagine getting through college and grad school without having at least one relationship that included some "interesting" guy lying his weasely black heart out! The last one I warned to not do the same thing to the girl he'd been cheating on me with -- and he married her! I was impressed (hey, it worked!), until they broke up because he was unfaithful to her within weeks of the honeymoon. Sure, he was very interesting, accomplished, charming, funny, attractive: that's definitely not enough. And karma tends to run smack over "interesting" fellows with his particular weaknesses. Honest (and realistic, and funny) is good; courageous in a kind way is also very good; those are characteristics you can really work with.

Guess my big test for a potential mate turned out to be: travel together for an extended period in difficult circumstances (like, a third-world country, on a budget). It's a shortcut, in a way, time would be the big revealer, but many people can't wait years to see their love in all sorts of situations, and potentially-stressful travel is a WONDERFUL personality discriminator! Saved me from marrying one fellow who would not have worked out, and led me to marry another who has given me many wonderful years (with every intention of many more; I take nothing for granted, neither health nor weather, but am delighted by each day and each year).

Wishing you all happiness, each according to his or her own personality
~ACat
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Old 05-08-2010, 16:17   #794
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i dont watch sports and am trained to sit and pee on the head.....to eliminate spatter. do smoke but should quit...ehhh. prolly wont fart around ya till after a month or 2.(even if they dont stink) dont burp loud unless i'm around a loud burper for extended periods.
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Old 05-08-2010, 16:20   #795
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Gadagirl View Post
Needs are very different from wants. Very good if many of your needs are being met, and you are meeting those of your SO. Can one person meet all of your needs? Hell NO! There are friends, family, hobbies, etc. Needs are very, very, different than being needy.*
*
To name a few of my needs,
I need to trust the man I知 with is honest,
I need affection
I need humor
I need communication
I need monogamy
*
Wants,
He値l like art
He値l love all the same music that I do
He値l never watch sporting events
He値l be smarter than me (not hard to be)
He値l always put the toilet seat back down


If I were to eliminate men based on wants alone, I'd be eliminating a lot of very nice men. I've elimintated a large population for want of a sailor. **
I really like your list of needs. I think it's a clear statement of what any close long lasting relationship needs.

Wants are much less central as you say and all are negotiable.

Saltymonkey, why does the boat have to be yours? Any boat you buy will have been someone else's before it's yours. If the relationship with the skipper is close and loving, I'm sure you could make whatever changes you needed to to make it more your own, and even be the skipper.

If our wants are too rigid, like Salty's, then there's no hope for finding a mate.

Margo
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