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Old 14-06-2010, 13:56   #391
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I think the biggest problem for someone at my older age is:
What happens when you have many soulmates, but can't be with any of them? . . .
I also find that a situation that is quite common amongst the older spectrum of men. We have several really good friends with interests that align and are highly compatible in one or two out own array of values. But each is different from the other. So you end up with "fractional soulmates." That is where the cruising lifestyle comes in handy as you can reposition your "home" from one to another.
- - Finding a permanent all-in-one soulmate I believe requires some significant malleability in your personality which is the purview of the still young. Age tends to harden our iron as we get older along with the leg and back joints.
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Old 14-06-2010, 14:13   #392
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Thanks osirissail. My keel isn't up to a retirement age, but I am crossing lines quickly!

To be at least a little less cryptic - having a number of ex-girlfriends who you are particularly close to emotionally and take care of - a few with other partners; some not. As you get older, that kind of love becomes important. Platonic isn't the word with one of them, but it's difficult emotionally when we both know we have to say goodbye and there is nothing either of us can do about it.

I need to win the lotto.

Life is grey.
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Old 14-06-2010, 17:00   #393
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Hey, the best movies are the old classics shot in black and white which means lots of "greys." Grey is good.
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Old 14-06-2010, 17:54   #394
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Life is grey.
I think life is pretty colourful but a lot of decision making occurs in the grey areas. There is never enough information available for certainty!
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Old 14-06-2010, 19:15   #395
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One thing I learned from the previous 4 years is that ,while I am willing to adapt much in my life to suit a partner, there does come a point where following my own muse is essential.
It has taken a long time to figure out that if you aren't taking care of yourself both physically and emotionally, there is no way to take care of someone else.

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Age tends to harden our iron as we get older along with the leg and back joints.
I wish....
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Old 14-06-2010, 21:55   #396
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. . . .I wish....
Now there is a guy who is too young. Remember SaltyMonkey included " (And no, not in the way your imagination may be taking it)" So I wasn't referring to what your youngster imagination was taking you. . .
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Old 14-06-2010, 22:05   #397
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Ex-Calif and Osirissail: If you outliers are needing some advice, I have a list of natural herbs that won't give you a heart attack or make you go blind.
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Old 17-06-2010, 21:57   #398
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heck make me a member maybe i'll meet someone that knows as much or more about boats than me and shares my ideas=)
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Old 17-06-2010, 22:12   #399
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We have a bunch of new members, 107 now, and they are not all guys.

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How many guys to girls??
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Old 17-06-2010, 22:40   #400
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well at least we know that guys aren't the only ones that enjoy sailing.
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Old 18-06-2010, 07:46   #401
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How many guys to girls??

22 females to 88 males, I think (rough estimate). It seems we have a membership surge, incidentally after I removed the moderation parameters, I wonder if it was a hindrance? Well anyways, glad we have a bunch of new members. Feel free to start new threads pertaining to SSSM, I have been really busy with boat work and job, can barely keep up with myself.

Spend a lot of time working on boat, turned down quite a bit socializing lately to get the boat further along on repairs. Which brings a question about prioritizing, I find it very difficult to work full time, restore a beautiful vessel (and I do mean beautiful!), correspond with potential mates and new friends alike, and still go out and socialize with my friends. It seems I need to neglect one or more areas to be able to get other areas covered. Anyone have experience with this and have you found a balance?

Some things I have considered is:
*Go part time on job (would need to find cheaper marina, boat work would suffer a bit, prolong cruising fund)
*Stop online stuff..(yeah right! though correspondence does seem to take a bunch of my time)
*stop boat projects and wait for my man to come fix it (I love this idea, especially when I am upside down in the bilge, just don't know how he'd feel about it)
*Stop social activities all together focus on making money and getting boat ready, in a year or two head out (this has much merit)


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Old 18-06-2010, 07:57   #402
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As to your considerations which could be numbered 1 to 4. I would suggest a definite No to number 1. About number 4, that is what life is all about so cutting back there would probably lead to despondency. Number 2 is difficult but probably where you can get the most room for increasing productivity. However, number 3, especially the last part is such a great "straight line" there's no way I can comment without getting thrown off the forum.
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Old 18-06-2010, 08:06   #403
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Stop boat projects has potential - we need to know what specifically you are doing? There may be a number of projects that are not essential or can be done easily. Maybe you are doing to many big ones all at once, and they can be staggered. Gotta have a plan.

I vote for getting the cruising kitty topped ASAP and keeping social.

OK I see 113 members, but only 27 listings...

Cruisers & Sailing Forums - Single Sailors Seeking Soul Mates
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Old 18-06-2010, 11:52   #404
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However, number 3, especially the last part is such a great "straight line" there's no way I can comment without getting thrown off the forum.
Yeah, I'd like to hear more about Option 3 and some pictures?
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Old 19-06-2010, 08:42   #405
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OK, the peanut gallery has spoken, I will be more careful with the wording of things, though it took me a while to figure out how you could turn "working upside down in a stuffy old bilge" into something..well clearly you have never worked upside down in a bilge! But I digress. Saltymonkey, I think you have the gist of it. I have reduced my expectations of what I can do while working full time in a job that takes a lot out of me. For example, yesterday I went to work at 11am, did a craniotomy case then over to the Heart and Vascular to work on a end stage renal patient, then had two back to back emergencies (one young patient we thought was going to crash any second) and before I know it 11 hours have gone by with a twenty minute break (can I have a violin please!). So clearly I need to lower my expectations of what "super sailor girl" can do, but this is a daily struggle cause I love to work on the boat and want to sail her (sailboats are meant to be sailed). So I have to make myself rest though I have so much work to do, or I may need the crash cart (nurse joke). BTW does this explain the love of my new hammock?.

I am trying to socialize more (going to the SSCA meeting today) and have set up a cruising fund to trickle (though slowly) a nest egg for OG and I to take trips. Also, I am buddy boating next spring to the Dry Tortugas for a shake down cruise before setting my eyes on the pacific. But, one bite at a time, first get her sailing. I will cut down on the correspondance.

I am really working on the basics now, new running rigging, anchoring set up, engine maintenance. I have a mental list of what luxuries I would like in a boat, this list includes electric windlass, refrigeration, and a whole host of electronics, but since I don't want to install or maintain that stuff I will live without it...but it is on my soul mate's to do list. love to say I was kidding but..

Gotta go, soccer is on, GO GHANA!! Sorry my Aussie friends, but Ghana is the team that got me hooked on soccer during the last World Cup, plus a good friend at work is from Ghana.

Sorry for all the typos.
Cheers,
Erika
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