Single Sailors Seeking Soul Mate Group

[woodymr]

Sorry for the delay. I saw someone else post: The avatar is the Picture! I want to change my log in name but lack the patience ...... Thanks for the communication for the mentally balanced folks that have too much time on their hands! Also look in Manage attachments and small page opens, follow directions, well maybe not. Good luck!

[osirissail]

Originally Posted by Christian Van H

Heres my extensive list to prepare for a female soulmate: 1. Leave the seat down.

Not picking specifically on you C VanH - but there seems to be a whole series of similar "L&A" quips in this thread. So I would suppose the original intent of this thread is dead and buried under cute quips and one liners.
- - The idea of having a place where guys and gals can communicate what their hopes and desires are for finding a "sailing soul-mate" and how to go about doing it has met demise and de-evolved into another Lat&Att joke thread.
R.I.P. At lease it was a good try Ocean Girl.

[woodymr]

We are a strange breed, and a free one, we accept things as folks want them to be because we have realized the freedom allowed to be the director of your own movie, fortunately we have all the same interest so here we are here in all our glory, still trying to fit in a mold of nature, loners yet desiring to share secrets as we learn them and clues to the meaning and purpose of life and sometimes.........am I rambling? Well we are here to ? Attract the opposite sex? Share stuff? Oh I am rambling....Thanks Ocean Girl keep your head up and in the wind as I toast myself with Baileys life is a Good Orderly Direction

[Christian Van H]

Well Osirissail, I'm not really a "L+A" kind of guy, and I really do hope you find your Soulmate here. I certainly didn't mean to "De-evolve" this thread, and as I'm not single and not looking I probably shouldn't be on this thread at all. I do however have several forum "friends" on this thread, such as Ocean Girl and DOJ, and I was just teasing them. I also know that some members of the opposite sex find a sense of humor a very serious, necessary quality in their partners. I know mine does...but maybe this thread wasn't the best place to drag mine out...

[woodymr]

I have too much time on my hands! Please I meant no discord, I enjoy all the "threads" take it all with a grain of old salt....oh no there I go again, so glad for folks with a mate for life and a life for their mate.....I'm the newbie here, with respect my fiends.......

[Ocean Girl]

Egads, I leave you boys alone to play and look what happens! Not RIP just maybe a little break from the work part of this journey we call finding our soul mates I was a bit worried I was taking over the thread so will try to give the topic a broader focus.

DOJ did get me thinking (he is a very smart guy, but don't tell him I said so) Anyways he got me thinking what if we do decide to take my boat cruising instead of his? Frankly, OG has always been a boat to single hand until I meet my man and sail off in his boat. Ocean Girl is perfect for me, maybe she will be perfect for him too (see what you did David?).

So as DOJ's idea is growing in me head lets ask the question - what should a women boat owner do to make ready her soul mate? To be honest my mind is blank, aren't guys pretty easy to please? clean boat, hot food, and a little music?

Cheers,
Erika

[Ocean Girl]

Two new members just joined
Everyone be sure to welcome Pinkie and NancyMiPet. Pinkie, I love your pictures and hope you can share some stories with us.
Cheers,
Erika

[Ex-Calif]

Originally Posted by Ocean Girl

So as DOJ's idea is growing in me head lets ask the question - what should a women boat owner do to make ready her soul mate? To be honest my mind is blank, aren't guys pretty easy to please? clean boat, hot food, and a little music?

Put the seat up?

(Sorry couldn't resist some levity - and of course this question opens up all kinds of opportunity)

In seriousness I think it is is like other "what do you want in a boat" lists that are already here. In terms of "What do I want in a boat I share?"

- Two hulls - Seriously. I think humans no matter how close need some space at times
- Electric windlass. It most often falls to the man to do and hauling the anchor is the crappiest job on the boat. Except fixing the crapper
- Pretty clear division of labor - no matter who does what it's nice to know who does what

I don't know. This question could go anywhere really.

[FxdGrMind]

OG
Quote:
what should a women boat owner do to make ready her soul mate?
End.

A boat represents "You", it is your persona in 3 dimensions, it reflects exactly who and what you are.
If it's a mess, well you are a messy person.
If it's spotless, you are detailed and maybe have gone "Overboard".
If it's Tidy, well maybe it's a fake out, just cleaned from total disaster, or recently used and the spotless cleaning duties are about to be "Assigned"... to the next victim.

You need to be who and what you are, your boat should not reflect anything else, or you are doing yourself a disservice, as the potential mate may see you for something that you aren't. That isn't a good start.

If you find your "Mate"... well then it's time for negotiation. Who does what, who has what space, who has what responsibility... etc etc. It's all about open comunication and acceptance of who and what you and they are both outwardly and to one another.

After all that is done and both parties are happy, that's when the magic happens. The seemingly instant non-verbal comunication, semingly perfect coordination and trust. Making it look all so easy and simple to others looking on. The marvel of a couple that are both joined at the hip and individualy independent.

So you ask, what do I do to my boat. My answer is "Nothing", be who you are, make sure your boat represents you just that way. Make sure you take your mate out on day sails, repeately, in all conditions and only after they are comfortable and you are accepting of thier actions, have that "Chat" to discuss the possibility of an extended outing to just make sure all is as percieved.

Cheers and best wishes in your search.

[Sandero]

I met a Norwegian woman when I was cruising in the Caribbean. She had come down to get the boat she and her former husband had owned back to the Canaries. She needed a captain. Though she loved sailing, and was handing at things like sewing, she was a bit challenged when she had to do more than some basic boat stuff.

I was not about the leave my boat and sail her 35 footer across the pond. But she was a lovely person and so I agreed to help her get her boat ready for the crossing, find her a captain and sail with me and do sea trials with her boat. We had several months of "fun in the Caribe". The skipper I got her got the boat to Las Palmas and she moved aboard and stayed in a marina a but more salty.

I continued my own cruising and even spent a winter with her in the Canaries where .... I again fixed her boat and we got to cruise it around for a winter which was also a hoot.

In the end we just weren't a match and so we parted ways and I believe she hooked a young Irish lad to do the heavy lifting for her. I don't think that worked out though. I think she returned to Norway and the boat.... don't know, Maybe the ex took it.

Was interesting however. Two hulls one couple. I even wrote this poem (I'm no poet but have a laugh):

A Crazy Norwegian

I ask one all

To give me a reason

For me to not love

This crazy Norwegian

Just like me

She’s loves the sea

Regardless of the weather

Night time or day

Forever on her face

A smile finds its way

Rather she’d be

In warm sunny Spain

Than face winters

Of ice cold sleet

and wind driven rain

In Norway or Sweden

Or even Paris

With its winding Seine

She’s cozy and cuddly

and cute as a button

I admit to have seen her

occasionally eat mutton

She’s warm and affectionate

and passionate too

She loves to do something

And it rhymes with blue

She sleeps aboard Necesse

so close by the sea

To work in Colina Mar

A prison it could be

So guarded up there

By day was she

Work and more work

Day in and day out

Exhausted and stressed

By a factor of three

Yet unable to shout

“I want to be free”

A simple twist of fate

Would forever mark

An unforgettable calendar date

Two ships in one port

A fine sunny day

She eyed me and dreamed

Could this be the way?

Right then and there

On the Dockyard quay

Who knew at that moment

It might forever stay

Posed her I the question

Your yacht or mine?

An so it would be

From time to time

We seemed to have found

What never was lost

Something both dreamed of

Held inside at all cost

Its not that she loves

only just me

There’s daughter Cathrine

So together we’re three

Her boundless love has

yet still room to spare

Its aimed at the furry ones

Who shed all that hair

Its Sarah, and Sancho

and Wouldy the cats

Sorry, but Rig

Really doesn’t love bats

It’s in jest I call her

Rigmor or Rigless

In her I found

True love, I confess

But for me, of this

I can be certain

That until I face

That last final curtain

Its by her side

Through rough seas and calm

Sailing a ship

We can both live on

So now I will end

As I did begin

Asking you all

Have I not given

You ample reason

Why I should not love

This crazy Norwegian

[Ocean Girl]

WOW! Some great replies. Defjef, great poem and clearly expresses that there doesn't necessarily have to be something wrong with a person to not be the one. It reminded me of my NZ "date" he was a great guy, just not my mate. I am holding out for the big guy, I know he will appreciate that.
I figured my question was on a road we have traveled extensively (the "what do women think men want on a boat" and others like it) but as DOJ pointed out, preparing for an addition to the family is a different twist. Also, I was hoping a gal would pipe up and give some insight too.

As far as my boat, she really is pretty darn perfect for a single hander(have I said that before?). So if "we" decide to cruise on Ocean Girl then the captain will decide what needs modifications, and since the captain is my soul mate, his needs will be addressed (I am temporary captain till my mate arrives). So I am not all that worried about it, I don't think he will find fault with her, just her size. CD30s are very small for their size due to narrow beam and nice wide decks to walk forward on, but these are qualities I want if I am going to single hand. Anyways, I don't even think he will mind my stuffed animal or my floral bedspread, it is very homey down below ( my niece gave me the bunny when I lost my cat/birthday present - really!). I do wonder about his opinion of the boat work I have done so far and some decisions I have made for the anchor tackle and such, but I am doing my best. I find this concern rather funny, I don't ponder as much about whether he will think I am pretty or smart as I do about his opinion of my seaworthy abilities - am I an odd egg or what?

CF has made me late for work again, that and watching the sunrise on my hammock this morning beautiful
Cheers,
Erika

[Sandero]

I've had Shiva for 25 yrs - got her new and have been working on here ever since. She's set up for single handing and perfect for a couple... perhaps with one small child.

You don't need much when cruising the tropics... but having some room - cockpit, galley, salon and berth makes for descent level of comfort. Shiva's great in all that. If I moved to another boat it would have to be larger because I've seen no other 36 footer which as the accommodations this boat has.

But personalizing a boat and then getting a mate to join in certainly would require their input and if you've worked everything out... they don't get to own any of the decisions of the blood, sweat and tears (and cash) that those decisions (successes) represent. So it would be nice/preferable to start with a new mate and a new boat.

So what's the matter with your soulmate tossing in some cash, you sell the boat and use the pot to get the new one? OK... you loose some value... but might gain a lot more and it would truly be shared.

Just thinkin'

[Ocean Girl]

Defjef, I have tried to post a reply about this three times and each time something happens and it doesn't go through. So fourth times the charm?
Yes I think it is a plausible plan, Ocean Girl serves many purposes:
1) Single hander for me to follow my dream
2) possible boat to cruise on with my mate
3) good project for me to get my bearings after being away from boats for 8 long years (it is never 8 years, it is always 8 long years)
4) if need be, sell OG and have a nice little boost to the cruising kitty for "us"
This is why OG is so perfect for me. The only glitch in my plan is that you got me thinking about who would buy her..I sure hope it would be a sailor gal like me, but as my Puerto Rican boss used to say "we will tackle that monkey when we take em to the cleaners"
Anyways CF has made me late for work again, that and watching the lovely sunrise from my hammock.
Cheers
Erika

[flysci]

OG and all,

A lot of good points being raised here, as usual. There are so many ways of integrating someone into one's boat and life on it, that I guess I"m not so worried about that part. If the guy is as open as I hope he will be, I'm sure we can work it out, from which boat to who keeps their stuff where.

I guess I'm one of those rare women who doesn't mind the state of "perpetual camping", though I prefer to call it downsizing and simplifying! I don't need a water maker, honest I don't. Just enough amps to charge my computer!

My biggest problem is that I've already left land-based life behind. I have no clubs or other usual places to meet someone. So on my travels I usually only meet people who are already cruising. (No, I don't hang out in bars waiting for a pick-up!) And most of them are couples already.

I was originally hoping this thread, and the SSSSM forum would be ways of connecting with single male sailors who might want to cruise with me for a time (short or long). Seems almost nobody takes the time to start a profile thread, so it's hard to find details on members. And this thread seems now to be mostly a lot of happily paired guys giving us singles advice on "how to".

I guess the truth is, I'm not looking for a soul mate. Had one for 25 yrs and lost him to divorce (some kind of mid-life crisis). Now, I want a companion to sail with, share experiences and ideas with, have s&x with. I'll even let him be "captain", my boat or his, as long as he doesn't call me Admiral, or SWMBO. No more marriage for me.

Whoa ... that was way too confessional! Honest, I'm a funny light hearted person in my real life! Haha.

Margo

[David_Old_Jersey]

Originally Posted by Ocean Girl

"we will tackle that monkey when we take em to the cleaners"

Always good advice

Was going to reply before on the "what would a fella want onboard a woman's boat?" question - but I still can't think of anything ............ that isn't either applicable to both genders (a sound boat and competent skipper etc) or is relationship specific (on that one we all have different wants and tastes. and ideas ).

But it did get me thinking on the boat size thing - and the transition from solo sailor to a dynamic duo ..........apart from the hurdle of making an existing boat an "us" space it seems likely to me that this is also one of those occassions where size is important as I can see how in a new relationship having a degree of physical personal space for each would help..............unless the new crew is already comfortable living in small spaces for extended periods. Like in a telephone box or under a cardboard box . or in a cell