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Old 08-04-2010, 17:50   #316
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IME not usual on a first date to move in with someone (well, not around here ) and a boat is pretty much someone else's home -
Excellent points. Maybe the "meet" should be somewhere neutral, halfway between their home ports. That way ;no one is moving into anyone else's home? And both will have spent $$, so have equal commitment to it working out (or not!).

Maybe a bunch of video conferences first, to take care of some of the "chemistry" factor. Though there's no real chemistry - as in do I like how you smell? but do get visuals of smiles gestures, maybe even movement (get the person to dance for you? LOL).

It is a conundrum.

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Old 08-04-2010, 20:03   #317
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All my internet dates so far have gone like this - we met at a starbucks first then decided if we wanted to meet up for dinner later. Two guys were local and one flew from NZ. The NZ guy was in the states (fla) for business, he flew into Houston for the weekend rented a car and stayed at a hotel.

Funny, the internet guys were more fun and more my style than the guys that just ask me from general acquaintance, not quite sure what that means except maybe I have a hard time saying no in person.

Interesting thing happened a few months or so ago. I got really gaga over this one guy, we had been writing back and forth for a month or so. Plans were made for him to come see me, then suddenly he wanted me to go see him. It seemed harmless enough, his schedule didn't allow the trip, but I got a uneasy feeling about the whole thing. I decided not to go and his reaction helped me decide to stop writing him altogether. Sometimes I feel I may of over reacted but other times I think it was the right thing to do. I don't think he was up to no good, I just think he wasn't looking for a soul mate, or ready for a soul mate. This experience has brought out another discovery about myself and my expectation - the guy has got to come see me. I know it may sound twerpy, selfish, self important, whatever. If the guy is really interested he will come see me.

Oh well, I ams what I ams.
Erika

PS
Flysci, I hope you find good crew for your trip north.
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Old 08-04-2010, 20:23   #318
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I met my wife on the Internet. We agreed to have coffee and the rest is history. We've been married for 10 years and haven't killed each other yet. She likes to sail. Does that mean she's my "soulmate?"

But we were in the same city. My guess is that it's much tougher if one person has to travel to meet the other.
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Old 08-04-2010, 20:34   #319
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I met a girl on the internet and video/talked to her for a year or so before I decided to visit her, she could not come to America-I lived in Florida and she in China! I flew over and stayed the better part of 2 years, but alas the culture was so different it was hard for us to fully understand each other, but we tried, she kept wanting to get married and after a wile I realized we were not quite aligned-anyway were friends now she lives in America and comes for a visit sailing with me once in a wile.
Ericka
Your right it does sound all of those things, and it is!- I hope you reconsider!!
I think if one person is so inflexible that they would not go see the other person that says to me that they would be hard to live with, due to the stubbornness of the person.
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Old 08-04-2010, 20:37   #320
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Ram, I meant initial date / first date. And yes, I will try to be more flexable
E
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Old 08-04-2010, 20:49   #321
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Ram, I meant initial date / first date. And yes, I will try to be more flexable
E
If I thought I met the right gal online -I would fly anywhere on the planet on the initial date, but if I felt she would not do the same , that would be enough of a red flag for me not to go,as that would tell me shes not my type !

I would be willing to do or go just about anywhere for the right woman /relationship-and I would expect the same!
Sometimes you have to just put yourself out there, take that risk-that said I also would spend a lot of face to face time (skype) before I made the move- I think we all need a lot of luck here so I wish it to all of us!
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Old 08-04-2010, 21:14   #322
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Funny, the internet guys were more fun and more my style than the guys that just ask me from general acquaintance, not quite sure what that means except maybe I have a hard time saying no in person.


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Old 08-04-2010, 21:25   #323
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VERY FUNNY!!
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Old 09-04-2010, 01:32   #324
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Any sailing should be planned with a few friends, not just the two of you, and only AFTER meeting for lunch and making sure all the vibes are good. Lunch won't guarantee you are actually soul mates, but it should allow your natural instincts to give you a sense of whether or not there is any reason to pursue it.

Be careful, not stupid, but don't be paranoid.
Hard to say that the chaperoned date approach is not sensible - given that some areas of the world do appear to have more axe murderers than others .............but can't say I would be too interested with someone expecting to arrive with freinds & family for a day out at my expense - not unless I could invoice them

Of course I have no problem with someone wanting to be safe, but if matters have not yet developed beyond looking at me as a possible axe murderer* then we need to spend more time working on that............onshore.

But no doubt one of those things easy to iron out (or not!) in advance online.



*errrrr, I do have an axe onboard and willing to travel
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Old 24-04-2010, 07:06   #325
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search suspended, perhaps over!

Hello SSSSMs, I'm flying off to Calif next week to meet someone. Although this girl and I attended the same college 25 years ago, we don't have any memories of actually meeting, but figure we must have at one point due to having so many mutual friends. Found her on Facebook due to the " friend this person because they know someone you know" thing, but our exchanges were limited to occasional and cursory "comments" back and forth. On a whim I asked he to be my Valentine before Valentine's Day and she said "YES!". Dialogue ensued. I bought a plane ticket last week. She is not a sailor, but an adventurer and world traveler. So, I'm taking myself off the soul searching market while I explore this opportunity. I'll stay a member of this group because you are all a great bunch of cruisers.

I hope you all are well. Never give up the search, there are open hearts all over the world. Like the distant shores, you have to go looking for them, they won't come to you.
Doug
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Old 24-04-2010, 09:25   #326
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Go Doug go! Good on ya for taking the initiative, sometimes all you need to do is ask .
Godspeed to your adventure and to your dreams.
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Old 24-04-2010, 12:17   #327
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A few days ago on my Flight to Greece a woman sat next to me and she was flying to Spain to meet a guy she met online 6 weeks ago! She was great and we talked the whole flight, I wised her luck and she is gonna e-mail me and tell me how the blind date was, the guy she was meeting just sold his yacht the week before
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Old 24-04-2010, 14:05   #328
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Good Luck, Doug. Go for it. I hope she's everything you need and want. I guess maybe this forum is working after all - it's got us all opening up to possibilities!
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Old 26-04-2010, 10:43   #329
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one can only hope
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Old 26-04-2010, 15:04   #330
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Rather than have either person fly to the other, why not both fly to some fun sailing destination and go for a short cruise?

I've done that a couple times.
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