It's really easy, I'll explain. First, you gear
up in painting gear
, including respirator. Then you mix up enough epoxy paint
to do some touch up on your steel hull
. Then, while perched high on scaffolding after being in respirator for near two hours you begin to feel very, very dizzy, to the point of almost falling off high scaffolding. It's ok if this scares you a bit, that's normal. So, you sit down and rest while head
spins. Curious boat neighbors come by to check on you and you tell your story. Turns out one neighbor is a EMT who tells you to go to ER ASAP. Now, you are very concerned knowing dead people don't smell good and are generally hard to get dates for; so you agree to have sympathetic marina owner drive you to ER.
Now, the ER is a interesting place and you get lots of attention there, not all of it good. People stick you with lots of needles (that hurts) wire you up to machines (doesn't hurt until they pull stick electrodes off taking hair with it) (my empathy to ladies who wax now). Then just to be sure, you get a CT scan of your brain (such as it is), which interestingly is actually emailed to Australia
and read there (probably by a doc educated in India
, but that's another story. When everything comes back negative, they run an IV into you just to give you a liter of normal saline to be sure you're hydrated and shazamm they find out your kidneys and bladder work just fine after that too! Such a deal.
So, all the sticking, wiring
and pain have resulted in no results and being you've been there now for a bit and dinner time has long since past, you ask if maybe you can have a little bite to eat. The Doctor, who is loathe to be pulled away from the baseball game
on TV says, "whatever" and in time a nurse brings you a tray of genuine hospital food!
Now, if you haven't eaten since breakfast even hospital food
looks pretty good and surprisingly it is! Then the doctor still loathe to be torn away from the ball game
tells the nurse to send you home as there is really nothing wrong and you get the bill. Now, you realize you've just spent $3,000 and change for a hospital chicken dinner!
And that my friends is how you have a $3,000 dinner!
PS - Turns out the exhaust
valve on the respirator is a little sticky, so all your respiration's don't leave the mask and after several hours of re-breathing your air, you tend to get dizzy! Who would have thought?