What I remember of the John Birch Society could best be summed up by this Bob Dylan tune. Granted this was 40 years ago and they have not entered my mind since then so lets hope they have evolved a little over the years.
Talkin John Birch Paraniod Blues
by Bob Dylan
Well, I was feelin' sad and feelin' blue,
I didn't know what in the world I was going to do,
Them communists was comin' round,
They wus in the air,
They was on the ground.
They wouldn't gimmie me no peace...
So I run down most hurriedly
And joined up with the John Birch Society,
I got me a secret membership
And started off a-walkin' down the road.
Yee-hoo , I 'm a real John Bircher now!
Look out you commies!
Now we all agree with Hitler's views,
Although he killed six million Jews.
It don't matter to much that he was a facist,
At least you can't say he was a communist.
That's to say like if you get a cold you take
a shot of malaria.
Well I was lookin, everywhere for them
I got up in the mornin' 'n' and looked under my bed
Looked in the sink, behind the door,
Looked in the glove compartment of my car.
Couldn't find 'em...
I wus lookin' high an' low for them Reds everywhere,
I wus lookin' in the sink 'n underneath the chair.
I looked way up my chimmney hole,
I even looked deep inside my toilet bowl.
They got away...
Well, I wus sittin' home alone an' started to sweat,
Figured they wus in my TV set.
Peeked behind the picture frame,
Got a shock from my feet, hittin' right up in the brain.
Them Reds caused it!
I know they did.. them hard core
Well, I quit my job so I could work alone,
Then I changed my name to Sherlock Holmes.
Followed some clues from my detective bag
And discovered there wus red stripes on the American flag!
That ol' Betsy Ross...
Well, I investigated all the books
in the library,
Ninety percent of 'em gotta be burned away.
I investigated all the people that I knowed,
Ninety eight percent of them have to go.
The other two percent are fellow Birchers
Now Eisenhower, He's a Russian spy,
Lincoln, Jefferson, and that Roosevelt guy.
To my knowlegde there's just one man
That's really a true American: George Lincoln Rockwell.
I know for a fact that he hates commies cus he
Picketed the movie
Well, I finally started thinkin' straight
When I run out of things to investigate.
Couldn't imagine doin' anythig else,
So now I'm sittin' home investigatin' myself!
Hope I don't find out anything ...hmm, great God!