Murphy's Marine Laws

[Exile]

I still consider myself a rookie compared to many others around here when it comes to all the mechanical stuff. This was the reason I discovered and first joined CF, actually. But I stubbornly work to get better at it! It is, however, quite comforting to know there are others who have to work through the same frustrations. The humor is always good for taking the edge off too.

[Canibul]

Try buying a 30 year old neglected boat and refitting it in a foreign country. Just about everything mentioned here makes me feel like that character Al in the diner in Happy Days....

Yeaaap...yep yep yep yep yep....

[CaptTom]

A line, boathook or wire will snag on any protrusion within 10 feet of it, and become impossible to dislodge, when you don't want it to.

That same line, boathook or wire will slide right off the attachment point, when you want it to stay fastened.

Corollary:
If you throw a line intending to snag something, it will slide right off, no matter how good your aim. If you throw a line intending to AVOID snagging something, it will wrap itself tightly around that object.

[La Porte Rouge]

The sunglasses you spent the last hour searching for will be found on the lanyard hanging around your neck. By then you won't need them.

[Sandero]

You run out of gas in the middle of cooking a meal... ha?

[Calif.Ted]

No matter where you mount the "pole", stanchions, mast or deck the jib sheets WILL hook it sometimes when you tack.

[svmariane]

The waterproof container you purchased for the spare electronic bits and bobs will be exactly what your wife needs for her sewing supplies kit. The rapidity with which your wife makes that discovery is inversely proportional to the availability of a replacement. {Of the container. I meant replacement of the container. Honest.}

During discussions on how to “raise the waterline”* you’ll discover that power tools are deemed less essential than cookbooks. And yes, the 1992 edition is equally important as the 2015 edition. And really, while we’re at it, you have a hand drill so why do you also need that 3/8", reversible, power-driven one?

The probability of making a mistake during any repair is directly proportional to how emphatically you told your wife not to worry, you’ll get it fixed right away. Or your claim about knowing what you’re doing.

There IS a god. He invented duct tape. And 5200.
The devil invented Robertson head screws.

*Edit: Raise the waterline? Lower the waterline? Have the boat draw less, being the meaning. Which brings us to this: The probability of saying/writing something stupid - or worded incorrectly - is directly proportional to the availability of a keyboard. And the number of "after sun-downers". And that damn "ENTER" key being so large. ;-)

[Curious Sailor]

If you buy a boat with three holes in the hull. You won't sail very far.. Lol

[tenchiki]

You take a boat project home with you. Rather, you take *almost* all of the project home with you. So you bring the rest of the project home with you the next time you visit the boat. And one of the essential bits you brought the first time is nowhere to be found, and everyone at home disavows having seen it...

[Celestialsailor]

Originally Posted by Canibul

This thread is funny. I sure am starting to be able to tell who's been in the bilges and up the masts. And no one has even mentioned 5200 yet.

Or what I'd like to do with the boats previous owner and his tube of silicon adhesive....

Whilst taking your time to ensure that 5200 stays on the job you're doing and not you with a moon suit, gloves and a hair bandana, you remove all gear, check for any 5200 on your person and use acetone on any suspect body part, only to wake up the next day after a good nights sleep and while remove your upper pajama realize a half hardened glob of 5200 on your back and pajama top...

[Canibul]

Mixing up five minute expoxy causes an uncontrollable urge to go to the bathroom.

[carstenb]

you can be absolutely certain that if you have avoided murphy's law by running mouse lines throughout your boat - when the time comes to pull something through the one space where there really isn't any room and you are totally dependent on the mouse line functioning -

the knot you tied on the mouse to whatever is being pulled through will untie.

[carstenb]

When you crawl into bed late after a couple of sundowners and are almost asleep you will hear a "strange noise". Your SO will ask what it is and you'll end up running around up on deck in the nude trying to locate a periodic noise.

It will not sound while you are on deck - but as soon as you get under the covers - it is back.

corollary - this only happens when it rains

[carstenb]

Some back ground for murphy's marine law

marine electrical systems were designed by sadists - just to give us masochist sailors something to do

[Exile]

Originally Posted by Canibul

Mixing up five minute expoxy causes an uncontrollable urge to go to the bathroom.