Murphy's Marine Laws

[Tayana42]

As soon as you have purchased a replacement for anything you have lost (applies to parts, tools, dinghies, winch handles, glasses, cell phones, keys) the missing one will turn up.


S/V B'Shert

[Cheechako]

Originally Posted by skipmac

There has to be one person somewhere on the planet with a giant bag full of pins.

..... and single socks for that matter!

[Exile]

Originally Posted by skipmac

Any type of goop: glue, caulk, bedding compound, paint, grease, thread compound, etc used in any boat job will preferentially stick to fingers, tools, upholstery, varnished woodwork, your wife, the dog or anything else within a 5' radius except the item to which you want to apply that goop.

There's a quite analagous Law of Varnish. At least for those of us who are suckers for boats with way too much teak brightwork. Like goop, varnish will get applied everywhere and to everything much easier than to the actual teak. And for a bonus, it will mysteriously & rather quickly chip, flake, dissolve, or otherwise remove itself from whatever happens to make it onto the teak, but will steadfastly remain on the surrounding gelcoated decks, cabinsides, and stainless fixtures forever. Oh, and the screw-up radius is 10' for varnish instead of the 5' for goop.

[Captain Bill]

Something breaks every day. You will not discover it the same day that it breaks. You will discover it broke only when conditions make it almost impossible to fix.

[Canibul]

Bilge pump float switches will operate correctly every time you test one. Until it gets wet.

[skipmac]

Originally Posted by Exile

There's a quite analagous Law of Varnish. At least for those of us who are suckers for boats with way too much teak brightwork. Like goop, varnish will get applied everywhere and to everything much easier than to the actual teak. And for a bonus, it will mysteriously & rather quickly chip, flake, dissolve, or otherwise remove itself from whatever happens to make it onto the teak, but will steadfastly remain on the surrounding gelcoated decks, cabinsides, and stainless fixtures forever. Oh, and the screw-up radius is 10' for varnish instead of the 5' for goop.

The second law of varnish. Fresh varnish attracts any insect within a 1/4 mile radius.

The third law of varnish. Starting from bare wood you anticipate 10 coats of varnish to the final, glass smooth, mirror finish. The first nine coats go on perfectly: smooth, clear and without a blemish. The tenth coat you get brush marks, sags, runs, bubbles and of course the aforementioned insects that completely ignored the first nine coats.

[skipmac]

Originally Posted by Canibul

Bilge pump float switches will operate correctly every time you test one. Until it gets wet.

Like light bulbs at the top of the mast. They work perfectly when you're up there testing them but fail the second your feet touch the deck.

[Canibul]

This thread is funny. I sure am starting to be able to tell who's been in the bilges and up the masts. And no one has even mentioned 5200 yet.

Or what I'd like to do with the boats previous owner and his tube of silicon adhesive....

[Exile]

Originally Posted by skipmac

The second law of varnish. Fresh varnish attracts any insect within a 1/4 mile radius.

The third law of varnish. Starting from bare wood you anticipate 10 coats of varnish to the final, glass smooth, mirror finish. The first nine coats go on perfectly: smooth, clear and without a blemish. The tenth coat you get brush marks, sags, runs, bubbles and of course the aforementioned insects that completely ignored the first nine coats.

4th Law of Varnish: Best not to start too early in the morn on account of the moisture/dew on deck. Best not to finish too late in the day because the stuff won't dry before the next morn's moisture/dew. It will then rain in the few hours left to actually varnish.

[Exile]

Originally Posted by skipmac

Like light bulbs at the top of the mast. They work perfectly when you're up there testing them but fail the second your feet touch the deck.

Crap. Kinda wish you hadn't reminded me . . . .

[bletso]

The part you need is the one your wife finally convinced you to toss the day before. (It has been in your spares since time began.) Of course trash pick-up was this morning!

As far as caulk goes, every time I re-seam a section of deck, my hand is hell bent on sticking my paw into a beautifully laid seam just after I lift the edge tape and start laying the next bead.

[Exile]

Originally Posted by bletso

As far as caulk goes, every time I re-seam a section of deck, my hand is hell bent on sticking my paw into a beautifully laid seam just after I lift the edge tape and start laying the next bead.

This reminds me of the 5th Law of Varnish.

[bletso]

Originally Posted by sailorboy1

After having squeezed into a tight space and started working, the tool/part you need will be under your butt and not reachable.

After having squeezed into a tight space to work you will find out you didn't take the part/tool with you before crawling into the space.

After crawling back out of the tight space to get the tool/part you thought you either didn't bring, or that was under your butt, you find out it was in your pocket/hand the whole time.

We can do without you reminding us of our infallibility.

So far some good posts and I don't admit anything! (Or is it everything?)

[JPA Cate]

Murphy's Law about paint cans: the bottoms rust out where they will make the most mess, or ruin the most other *stuff*.

[JPA Cate]

The new drain tray for the tranny will wedge itself, and when you try to remove it, it will come free so fast that---well, you know already don't you? Lordy, what a mess!