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Old 15-12-2015, 19:51   #16
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Re: Murphy's Marine Laws

on finding the perfect tool for the job it will no doubt be seized requiring immersion in diesel then repeated heating over a day or so to get it unsiezed.........
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Old 15-12-2015, 20:24   #17
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Re: Murphy's Marine Laws

when trying to listen to the weather on the vhf you can get it for anyplace but the one you are in or going to.
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Old 15-12-2015, 20:50   #18
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Re: Murphy's Marine Laws

Almost daily you will notice a certain tool or part laying in plain sight. ...... until the moment you need it. Then it's nowhere to be found.
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Old 15-12-2015, 20:56   #19
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Re: Murphy's Marine Laws

Murphy's first law of metallurgy: Stainless steel isn't.

Murphy's second law of metallurgy: Titanium is.

With apologies to Jim, who thinks they're his first and second laws of metallurgy.

Ann
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Old 16-12-2015, 00:41   #20
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Re: The Law of Dropped Parts

Quote:
Originally Posted by skipmac View Post
If you drop a part, screw, nut, washer or any other small thing it will bounce to the worst place it could go.

- If you are on deck, even in the cockpit it will bounce over the coaming, over the bulwarks and into the water.

- If you are below, with all the floorboards in place and all the holes covered, the part will still find a way to the bilge.

- If a part falls into the bilge it will roll to the most inaccessible corner of the bilge, necessitating the removal of floors, access hatches and engine covers to retrieve it.

- The likelihood of the part being permanently lost in the bilge or falling overboard is directly proportional one of the following, whichever is greatest:

1. The cost of the part.
2. The difficulty in replacing the part
3. The importance of the part in making the boat run.

First Corollary, replacement of a lost part. If a replacement is available it will only be sold as part of an expensive assembly that contains a dozen other parts that you don't need.

Second Corollary. If the part is available but has to be ordered from elsewhere, rapid transit time of the package to your location is inversely related to the importance of the part. If the part is shipped from out of the country it will be held up in customs.
Third corollary - When you eventually get the new part at great expense adn you have finished mounting it, your wife (or someone else) will bend down and say "weren't you looking for this?" which will be the offending lost part

Fourth Corollary - Whatever spare parts you bring on your extended cruise will not be needed
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Old 16-12-2015, 02:46   #21
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Re: Murphy's Marine Laws

The favourability of the wind on a passage is directly proportional to the unfavourability of the current. And vice versa.

Winds occur in only two speeds, not enough and too much.

The most predictable feature of the weather is its unpredictability.

The number of knuckle cutting projections in a boat workspace is inversely proportional to its volume.

That today's weather and tomorrow's forecast are nearly identical is not coincidence.

Winf
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Old 16-12-2015, 02:56   #22
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Re: Murphy's Marine Laws

No matter what project ou start - it will always be much more complicated and take much longer than you possibly expected/planned for

No matter how effectively you work and no matter how much progress you have made against all odds - your SO will always ask "how come that's taking so long?"

Marine toilets only clog up/leak etc while you are on the water in heavy seas.

Corollary 1 - when that happens, everyone will need to use the toilet.

corollary 2 - fixing it immediately will be your job

Corollary 3 - at the exact moment when you have a chance to not spill the waste/water etc if you are very careful, a freak wave of unusual proportions will hit the boat, spilling all the black water.

Corollary 4 - The black water will always spill over you - not in the other direction

Do not ask me how I know this law about marine toilets and the 4 corollaries
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Old 16-12-2015, 04:54   #23
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Re: Murphy's Marine Laws

Not one cushion or plywood bunk board will conveniently stow elsewhere when you need to get into the storage area.
If you drag a line or sheet 2ft, without coiling it, it will snag on SOMETHING, SOMEWHERE on deck.
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Old 16-12-2015, 05:30   #24
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Re: Murphy's Marine Laws

Brilliant guys.... And painfully spot on !

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ann T. Cate View Post
Murphy's first law of metallurgy: Stainless steel isn't.

Murphy's second law of metallurgy: Titanium is.

With apologies to Jim, who thinks they're his first and second laws of metallurgy.

Ann
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Old 16-12-2015, 05:36   #25
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Re: Murphy's Marine Laws

Whichever screwdriver you grab to go tighten a screw will be a different style screwdriver from the screw in question.

Funnels make containers overflow.
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Old 16-12-2015, 05:44   #26
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Re: Murphy's Marine Laws

Quote:
Originally Posted by Canibul View Post
Whichever screwdriver you grab to go tighten a screw will be a different style screwdriver from the screw in question.

Funnels make containers overflow.
Especially if it's a "tweener", #1-#2 phillips.... Then we know neither will fit adequately enough to perform the desired righty or lefty operation...
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Old 16-12-2015, 05:56   #27
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Re: Murphy's Marine Laws

One of my favorites is the :

Anxious Supply Trip Calculation:

= While furiously working on a repair... seconds are ticking down as to your ability to get to a stopping point desired, with BARELY enough time to make it to the most inconvenient supply store... Wondering if you really should be putting in the extra 30 minutes now... knowing you're likely to discover one more item that will reside at the most inconvenient store...
5 min=recalculate
+
5 min=recalculate
+
(x 10 or so more times minimum)
+
28 min= what did I do for the last 28 min? I'll never make it before they close!

result???

a) You will miss the store closing 5 minutes too late...
or
b) The unknown part which you also were sure that you needed, will reveal itself directly upon resuming the task... With the -inconvenient supply store closed for the weekend...
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Old 16-12-2015, 06:00   #28
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Re: Murphy's Marine Laws

After having squeezed into a tight space and started working, the tool/part you need will be under your butt and not reachable.

After having squeezed into a tight space to work you will find out you didn't take the part/tool with you before crawling into the space.

After crawling back out of the tight space to get the tool/part you thought you either didn't bring, or that was under your butt, you find out it was in your pocket/hand the whole time.
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Old 16-12-2015, 06:13   #29
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Re: Murphy's Marine Laws

At the advanced age I am.....

You twist, turn and crawl into a space that you know will take you 10 minutes to get out of and another 10 minutes to get back into.

Being a very smart guy you have double, triple, nay quadruple checked that you have all the tools needed and all the parts and they are in places that will be easily accessable once inside.

Now there, you reach for your reading glasses...................:ban ghead:

Please do not ask me how I know
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Old 16-12-2015, 06:21   #30
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Re: Murphy's Marine Laws

No matter how unlikely something is to snag, crack or break, it will at the most inconvenient time, snag, crack or break.
No matter what else is going on at the time, any line allowed to get into the water will find it's way to the prop.
Any sheet left lying in the bottom of the cockpit.....Will wrap itself around your ankle as soon as you release it during a tack.
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