Murphy's Lesser Known Laws

[Lancerbye]

1. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

2. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

3. Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.

4. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.

5. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting
something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.

6. If you lined up all the cars in the world end to end, someone
would be stupid enough to try to pass them, five or six at a time, on
a hill, in the fog.

7. The things that come to those who wait will be the scraggly junk
left by those who got there first.

8. The shin bone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.

9. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

10. When you go into court, you are putting yourself into the hands
of 12 people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.

I Am Sure that we can come up with a few more that fit our lifestyles.

[Ex-Calif]

Number 1 is great. It goes with:

"It is better to keep your mouth shut and appear ignorant than to open it and confirm it."

[knottybuoyz]

I think it was O'Reilly's law that stated: "Murphy was an optomist"!

Murphy's law - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

[David_Old_Jersey]

11) If at first you don't succeed. Give up.

12) If it seems too complicated, it probably is.

13) Don't beleive a word that anyone who says "Trust me" says. Trust me.

14) If it was meant to be Fun it wouldn't be called Work. and no one would be paying you.

15) It's never so dark that they cannot turn the wick down a notch.

16) "Don't worrry" they said, "it could be worse". and they were right. it was worse.

17) The best cure for seasickness is sitting under a Tree.

18) Never guess a woman's age or weight, no matter how nicely they ask. never. ever.

19) Skeletons in the closet are always discovered. Far better to bury them in the woods. alledgedly.

20) Have no secrets from your wife, which she will ever find out about. ever.

21) If in danger or in doubt, run in circles, scream and shout.

22) Never Lie when you can get away with the Truth. or something close to it.

23) It's better to be rich and happy than poor and miserable.


I am feeling somewhat negative today..........

[GreatKetch]

Bill's Rules of the Road

1. Anyone driving slower than you is an idiot.
2. Anyone driving faster than you is a jerk.

[Boracay]

And the Peter Principle applies in the marine industry...

"Expect experts to have risen past their level of competance."

[44'cruisingcat]

Beaurocracies work like septic tanks. The really big chunks rise to the top.

[Alan Wheeler]

Your Boat never depreciates more, than the day your Dock neighbour buy's a new one.

The boat engine Only breaks down when it is most inconveniant.
Subclause
If the breakdown was caused by only a minor part, that part shall be in the most in excessable place, thus ensuring the Mechanic has to remove much of the motor to get at it.

An Oil leak will always be at the most inaccessable part of a gasket.
subclause A
Tightening the part will stop the leak. However,this will only be temporary and the leak will once again return in direct proportion to the amount of tightening that had first been applied.

Interchangable Parts Don't, Leak Proof seals will and Self starters won't.


If you sail your boat like a racing boat, then you can expect to have expensive repairs like a racing boat.

Don't look conspicuose. You could become a crew leader that way.

If orders can be missunderstood, they will have been.

The Captain is never watching, untill you make a mistake.

The worse the weather, the more you'll need to be outside the warmth of the cabin in it.

Sailing experiance is something you will aquire after the event.

Here's one for Kai Nui The Item of equipment that won't start or Jams when you need it most, is the pump.

[Boracay]

Rope or wire cut to length will be too short.

[mudnut]

Money is not the most important thing in the world,but,whatever is comeing second is a loooong way behind.Mudnut.

[Pura Vida]

Beck's Law - At either end of the economic scale there lies a leasure class. (Originally recognized in the Yosemite mountianeering community and applies to cruisers too.)

[Ex-Calif]

Money doesn't buy hapiness but it sure makes being miserable a lot more fun.

[Lancerbye]

The price of the part that just fell overboard is directly proportional to the depth of the water.

[mudnut]

Lifes like a crap sandwich,the more bread ya have ,the less crap ya eat.Mudnut.

[Boracay]

If your maintenance task is easy, pleasant or simple you are doing it the wrong way.