here is a story for your enjoyment...
a few weeks ago I am swimming down at brighton beach area in new york
. for those who are not familiar with brighton beach, there tends to be a strong current
that runs parallel to the beach. this fact will make sense shortly.
i am a swimming fanatic. keeping me out of the water
requires chains, shackles, and a handful of able bodied men
with nothing to lose. so there i am flopping around and goofing off in the water
. floating on my back and letting the current
rush me down the beach, swimming out and back in, you name it. all of a sudden, mid-stroke, i feel something slam right into my chest and slide off around my ribs. i whip around to try and get a look at what it is, then i feel it make contact with my thigh and slide down my leg a ways and disappear. i use the term "disappear" loosely, because after all this is north eastern water, which means blackish-brownish-can't see a damn thing-ish. so by now my fists are up like a boxer, and i am treading water with my legs, while my mouth is saying all sorts of four letter words.
i want to take a break here to stress that i don't startle easily. i've been in a variety of situations, but none of them have ever involved large-ish things feeling me up in black water.
aaanyways... my eyes are scanning the water in front of me intensely looking for any movement or sign of what it might be that had just cop'd a feel. and there it is, surfacing now, it's a- a- a gatorade bottle!! oh cmon! really? i didn't know gatorade bottles could give off that "slithering" feeling... but they can! i mean, it was one of the big ones, the 32 ouncers. a wave of humility washed over me and i decided it was time to get out of the sun and take a breather. damnit coney island, why can't i run into a nice frozen daquiri?