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Old 20-03-2010, 00:00   #1
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I Miss My Hair

I was doing something quasi-govermental todya. The sort of thing where they write down your weight and height and hair colour. He wrote down bald! I said, what do you mean bald. He looked at me sheepishly and said, "well you do have more hair then me", to which I replied, "that's doesn't make it better. The young girl who did my drivers license at least asked me what colour my hair was!" Of course to her I replied, "does it matter".

I do miss my hair. It's not a vanity thing, it's a practical thing. I'm forever banging my head. Since being on the sailboat it's gotten worse. They are designed to regularily whack you somewhere where it hurts, shins, toes, head, pocketbook. I've always banged my head on occasion. I view it as part of the human condition. However, when I had hair (I mean more hair) it cushioned the blow. Now I'm forever discovering a new lump or scar.

I do miss my hair. Although, I don't remember the last time I used my brush and shampoo and conditioner now come in a bar marked soap. (To the women who may be reading this: those last points were meant to be positives). I guess in the end it's a wash (pun intended).

Maybe I should start wearing a helmet on the boat ...
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Old 20-03-2010, 00:20   #2
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I saw a quote yesterday:

Real men don't waste their hormones on growing hair."
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Old 20-03-2010, 02:14   #3
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Dear God, I Miss my Mind

Just a line to say I'm living,
That I'm not amongst the dead,
Though I'm getting more forgetful,
And mixed up in the head


I've got used to my arthritis,
To my dentures I'm resigned,
I can cope with my bifocals,
But - oh God - I miss my mind.


Sometimes I can't remember,
When I'm standing by the stairs,
If I should be going up for something,
Or have I just come down from there?


And before the fridge so often,
My mind is full of doubt,
Now did I just put some food away,
Or come to take some out?

If it's not my turn to write dear,
I hope you won't get sore,
I may think I have written,

And don't want to be a bore.

So remember I do love you,
And wish that you lived near,
And now it's time to mail this,
And to say goodbye my dear.

At last I stand beside the mailbox,
And my face - it sure is red,
Instead of posting this to you -
I've opened it instead!

--Author Unknown--
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Old 20-03-2010, 02:36   #4
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Maybe I should start wearing a helmet on the boat ...
Thanks for the reminder . Must get a haircut .........I wake up in the morning and look like last of the Mohicans, if he'd also been a hippy
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Old 20-03-2010, 04:08   #5
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I heard a pastor say that God made a few perfect heads.

The rest He covered up with hair.

Scott
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Old 20-03-2010, 04:49   #6
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I think you will find that you can't have brains & hair too!!
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Old 20-03-2010, 06:24   #7
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hair today--gone to-morrow
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Old 20-03-2010, 06:48   #8
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What about a comb-over? You know...grow the hair on one side of your head down to your shoulders, then comb it over and glue it down...that should be protective. That's what David Old Jersey does. He says the ladies love comb-overs. How 'bout a toupee? Something that looks like a racoon sitting on top of your head. Make sure it comes in a completely contrasting color so that your sideburns stick out like a sore thumb...that's hot too! I can joke about this, because my license says: Grey/Bald
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Old 20-03-2010, 06:53   #9
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My father-inlaw had three hairs on his head.He always said"Any a$$hole can grow hair.It takes a man to lose it."

I have hair but it's grey.It makes me look extinguished!

Phil
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Old 20-03-2010, 08:27   #10
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Press lunch, Houston Oilers, Prominent members sitting on stage facing the crowd, last supper style. A later arrival, working his way behind the line of occupied chairs reached over and rubbed the bald head of one of the old jocks, (old team mate) and said in a loud voice for all to hear, "Why that feels just like my wifes ass". The bald one responded, in the same loud voice, for all to hear, as he rubbed his own bald head, "You know you are right, it does feel just like her ass".

That is a classic gotchaa.
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Old 20-03-2010, 09:48   #11
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Reaching for a Paper Towel

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I have hair but it's grey.It makes me look extinguished!
Spewed my morning coffee all over my monitor.

You look extinguished when you're lying in your casket. Maybe you meant distinguished?

Or do you actually mean that your head looks as if it had once been on fire, but the fire has been snuffed out?
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Old 20-03-2010, 10:03   #12
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Hated the comb-over thing from day one. Finally gave up and shaved my head in '01. Fantastic. I no longer worry about wind. About rain. About "hat hair". I spend no money or time on shampoo, barbers, stylists, creme rinse, combs, brushes, hair dryers... the women seem okay with it. The ones that aren't are not the kind I like anyhow. Grooming? Look up HeadBlade® | Ultimate Head Shaving Razor & Head Care Products one minute while showering...and it's smoooooooth...

Besides, it's a sign of evolutionary superiority. People without molars and hair are a half step ahead of the rest on the evolutionary scale.
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Old 20-03-2010, 10:21   #13
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......However, when I had hair (I mean more hair) it cushioned the blow. Now I'm forever discovering a new lump or scar.
How about a nice cap? And by the way... sans hair isn't so bad - think of all the money you save on "products"
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Old 20-03-2010, 10:53   #14
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Great Thread Hum!...your Funny! made my day Thanks!..

Loved that poem DF...
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Old 20-03-2010, 11:13   #15
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I dont mind my hair falling out...
What I do object to is the way it takes root on my EARS, NOSE AND SHOULDERS.....

Got lovely brown hair...
Hangs right down the back....
None on me head...
but loads on my back....
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