Not exactly Navy
, but CG story.
When I was small, in the 60's, my family
made a trip to the Colorado River. My dad was a bit of a partier and his boat was a classic P.O.S. It was about a 16' flatbottomed lake boat with a big V-8 and a direct drive. He decided (drunk) that it would be a good idea to blast back and forth parallel to the beach inside the 5MPH zone to make waves on the beach. It wasn't long until the USCG noticed what he was up to and they hailed him.
He headed out towards their boat (drunk) and tried to pull alongside.
There were a couple of problems with the boat.
It wouldn't idle below 2000 RPM's so it's slowest speed was about 10.
It was direct drive so there was no way to slow it down but to turn the engine
The ignition switch was loose in the dash and you had to reach around the back and hold the body of the switch to use the key.
The steering wheel
was stripped on the shaft so it was necessary to cock the wheel
sideways to turn.
He headed towards the boat (still drunk) and tried to pull alongside as I've already said and he stuck his arm through the steering
wheel to cock it as he reached around to hold the back of the switch and turn the key off. Unfortunately the exposed wires on the switch shocked him and he flinched, thus releasing the steering wheel/ key/ switch assembly and he merrily idled into the CG boat bow first at the aforementioned 10 KTS.
The bow of his boat punched a hole in the side of the Coastie's boat and they were pissed.
UMM, yes, his voyage was terminated.
But that's not the good part.
30 years later, my lovely wife was a new MK3 (Engineer 3rd class), sitting in the base bar in Hawaii
"talking story". An old Chief who had been enlisted since the dawn of time was sharing some of his best sea stories. Believe it or not, the finest story of his collection was from he was a young Bosun's Mate stationed on the Colorado River and some stupid drunk a** punched a hole in the side of his boat.
The story rang very familiar in my wife's ears.