Favorite Quote

[Waterborn]

"Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe."
— Albert Einstein


Cross country skiing is great if you live in a small country. -- Steven Wright

When I turned two I was really anxious, because I'd doubled my age in a year.
I thought, if this keeps up, by the time I'm six I'll be ninety.
-- Steven Wright

I got food poisoning today. I don't know when I'll use it. -- Steven Wright

I stayed up all night playing poker with tarot cards.
I got a full house and four people died.
-- Steven Wright

OK, so what's the speed of dark?

[InlandMariner]

Originally Posted by awr401

Lets hear them, funny, serious, and what ever!! Give credit, don't claim!!

"20 Years from now you will be more dissapointed by the things you didn't do then by the ones you did. So throw off the bowlines, sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore, Dream, Discover"

-Twain

"He's so dumb he couldn't pour piss out of a boot if the instructions were on the heel."

~ unknown American sailor

[GeoPowers]

Well, I've always been a fan of Frost's Road Less Traveled, but in lieu of that:

"Boy, it's comin' down harder than a cow pissin' on a flat rock out 'ere!!!" Contractor describing the weather event taking place during Hurricane Gustov during some "emergency repairs" to the flood protection system where I work.

[TexSail]

Lawyers, preachers, and tomtit's eggs (colonial slang for turds),

Many are hatched, but few come to perfection.

-Benjamin Franklin

[Onedaysoon]

"I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I've watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhauser Gate. All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in the rain. Time to die."

From the film Blade Runner (replace words in italics with your own exquisite experiences).

[onestepcsy37]

Always do the right thing. It will amaze your friends and confound your enemies.

- Mark Twain

[NW Craig]

"The ocean has always been a salve to my soul...the best thing for a cut or abrasion was to go swimming in salt water. Later down the road of life I made the discovery that salt water was also good for the mental abrasions one inevitably acquires on land." ~ Jimmy Buffett

"People take different roads seeking fulfillment and happiness. Just because they're not on your road doesn't mean they've gotten lost." ~ Dalai Lama

"The fishermen know that the sea is dangerous and the storm terrible, but they have never found these danger sufficient reason for remaining ashore." ~ Vincent Van Gogh

[BadFish]

"Every man's life ends the same way. It is only the details of how he lived and how he died that distinguish one man from another." - Hemingway

"Hey everybody, we're all gonna get laid!" Al Czervik (Rodney Dangerfield)-Caddyshack

[Celestialsailor]

1) Never underestimate the power of denial.
2) Sometimes it is wise to keep your mouth shut and let people think you're an idiot rather than open it and confirm their suspicion,
3) I'm so poor the bank came by and repossessed their calender.

Then there is my favorite...read below.

[Randal Johnson]

I almost married an Asian woman once
I took her back to China to meet her family
I lost her in a crowd
(Me)

[john540]

"Tragedy is when I cut my finger,
Comedy is when YOU fall into an open sewer and die"

Mel Brooks

[waverider]

"Heres to swimmin with bowlegged women"

[pirate_222]

"The man in black fled across the desert, and the gunslinger followed."
The opening line in Steven King's "The Gunslinger" series.

[pete33458]

You CANNOT be serious!!!

-John McEnroe

(I use this one a lot)

[anjinsan]

"Survivors will eat anything,....non survivors taste like chicken!"


Me!