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Old 06-05-2008, 07:03   #1
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Favorite quotations

Just stumbled across a few loosely boating related quotes. Was wondering if you've got a favorite.

Two buddies are standing on the dock watching a third working on his boat. The guy working on the boat is cursing and swearing and throwing tools around as he tries desperately to fix something simple his boat. Buddy turns to buddy and says "I can fix that in two minutes but ya know it's better to appear stupid than to be busy fixing someone elses boat"!

Same two buddies are standing at the launching ramp watching a newbie boater, his wife, two kids and a HUGE german shepard all trying frantically to get the boat off the trailer and into the water for a day of fun on the water. The Captain of the boat is shouting orders and issuing commands to his crew but the overall affect is complete confusion. Buddy turns to his buddy and says: "I've always subcribed to the philosophy of keeping my mouth shut and letting people think I'm stupid instead of opening my mouth and removing all doubt!". He then walks over and releases the transom straps for the fella!
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"It's not the boat "you built" until you've sworn at it, bled on it, sweated over it, cried beside it and then threatened to haul the POS outside and burn it!"
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Old 06-05-2008, 07:22   #2
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Old 06-05-2008, 07:26   #3
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" I was not being rude when I said that you may need to give me a hand to get off".......
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Old 06-05-2008, 07:26   #4
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"yes this really is serious"......
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Old 06-05-2008, 07:29   #5
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" its not that I have a problem with you using the prota potty, its that I have a problem with me emptying it ".....


Oh I have so many and they are ALL TRUE.....
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Old 06-05-2008, 07:31   #6
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"No I am not gay, and I did say that the ferry man was a friend of mine"....
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Old 06-05-2008, 07:32   #7
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I am going to give you enough rope to hang yourself!....my dear old Dad....
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Old 06-05-2008, 07:35   #8
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As a zillion (illegal) flares are being set off on new years..."i pity some one in trouble">>>>>
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Old 06-05-2008, 07:39   #9
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teenager to dad...."why is it that if you are saying that navigation is so important that you, are so cheap as to get navigation lights".......

teenager and computer owners will get this......
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Old 06-05-2008, 08:10   #10
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Here are a few : Nautical Quotations | Bluewater Sailing (866.944.SAIL)
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Old 06-05-2008, 09:30   #11
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On a research boat:
"The most dangerous nut on a boat is the one holding the wheel."

"If it says marine grade, square the price. If it says oceanographic, cube the price."

"The larger the letters that say "Waterproof", the less likely that it actually is."

"Salt water and electronics go together like Republicans and Democrats."

"What works on paper in the office, only half the time works in the field."

"Murphy was an optimist."

"The more complex a system, the more likely it is to break." Corrolary: ...the less likely it is to work in the first place.

"The cost of what you put over the side of the boat is directly proportional to the probability of losing it."

"Time estimates are always optimistic, reality is always pessimistic."

"Always check the simplest things first."

"The first day is a sacrifice to the bug gods, the rest of the days are for science."

"Science never sleeps...but it does take naps."

"If you do take a precaution, it won't happen. If you don't take a precaution, it is guaranteed to happen."

"Sh_t happens in threes." (I am convinced of this and I am not superstitious.)
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Old 08-05-2008, 07:44   #12
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"It is a far, far better thing to have a firm anchor in nonsense than to put out on the troubled sea of thought."
John Kenneth Galbraith {1908–2006}

JK was my grandfather's first cousin. I only met the man once when I was small.
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"It's not the boat "you built" until you've sworn at it, bled on it, sweated over it, cried beside it and then threatened to haul the POS outside and burn it!"
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Old 08-05-2008, 14:21   #13
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My favorite came from the Commanding Officer I had when I first qualified to 'drive' his ship as a new Ensign. After congratulating me on passing his qualification program he said....

"And remember to call me 30 minutes before you do anything stupid...."

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Old 08-05-2008, 14:24   #14
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"The major difference between Theory and Practice is.........that in Theory their is no difference".
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Old 08-05-2008, 15:58   #15
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Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, and he'll spend all day in a boat drinking beer.
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