Cruisers Forum
 


Join CruisersForum Today

Reply
 
Thread Tools Rate Thread Display Modes
Old 06-05-2015, 10:06   #16
Senior Cruiser
 
Cheechako's Avatar

Cruisers Forum Supporter

Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Skagit City, WA
Posts: 19,363
Re: Borrowed car responsibility

I feel responsible for something I borrow. It sounds like you are not on the best of terms with the lender, I wouldn't borrow from someone I wasn't close to. But lesson learned, Fix it and move on.
Of course it depends on what it is, if I borrow a car and the engine blows up for no apparent reason, I would feel less responsible for that than if I borrow it and the side gets scratched.
__________________

__________________
"I spent most of my money on Booze, Broads and Boats. The rest I wasted" - Elmore Leonard











Cheechako is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-05-2015, 10:14   #17
Writing Full-Time Since 2014
 
thinwater's Avatar

Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Deale, MD
Boat: PDQ Altair, 32/34
Posts: 4,337
Re: Borrowed car responsibility

Sounds like most families.

If there is a rattle-can patch one place, it is clear that the owner has a double standard. The high-minded "you must fix it" reasoning is thus weakened. There is no reasonable proof in either case, since I never notice when scratches appear. The Golden Rule approaches seldom work, because standards are so different; some people obsess over cars, some recognize they are only transportation. Moreover, it is clear that emotions are all that matter.

Make it clear to your wife that it is HER $600 (it is, after all--you're married) and that she needs to consider what she would like to forgo. Then she can make an informed decision.

Yup, you're being worked. It's family. Either roll over... or don't. Both answers have pluses and minuses (if get walked on now you will ALWAYS get walked on).
__________________

__________________
Gear Testing--Engineering--Sailing

Writing full-time since 2014.
Bookstore:http://sail-delmarva.blogspot.com/20...ook-store.html
thinwater is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-05-2015, 10:19   #18
Registered User

Join Date: Jan 2015
Posts: 11
Re: Borrowed car responsibility

Quote:
Originally Posted by natew View Post
cars are lost investments and there's no point in spending more on them after you buy them
Am I the only one that found this statement ironic coming from a boat owner?
__________________
Sailinnole is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-05-2015, 10:21   #19
Senior Cruiser
 
Cheechako's Avatar

Cruisers Forum Supporter

Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Skagit City, WA
Posts: 19,363
Re: Borrowed car responsibility

Another thought... how deep is the scratch? 3m Finesse-It works great on light scratches. You could do this and ask if that's acceptable... maybe at that point he comes to his senses and says ok.
__________________
"I spent most of my money on Booze, Broads and Boats. The rest I wasted" - Elmore Leonard











Cheechako is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-05-2015, 10:25   #20
Registered User
 
divingbiker's Avatar

Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: Louisiana Gulf Coast
Boat: 35' Fontaine Pajot Tobago
Posts: 4
Images: 18
Re: Borrowed car responsibility

I've been a lurker on this site for quite a while and am popping my posting cherry with this reply.....But this thread needs a direct answer.

Natew, are you kidding me?? You borrowed a car and damaged it. Of course you should fix the damage! You don't need a boating forum to tell you to do the right thing....
__________________
divingbiker is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-05-2015, 10:25   #21
Registered User

Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Ventura, CA
Boat: Horstman Tristar 38
Posts: 200
Re: Borrowed car responsibility

Yeah I do see the mentality that it should be fixed but was really put off by the fact that when it was on their watch they were just fine with shoddy raddle can repair but since it was my watch they demand that the car be repainted. Seems a little bit petty to me and opportunistic. I did offer to go get some factory touch up paint, polish, etc. and fix it.. I've done this before on my own car and could even show them that it would look about 99% new but that was refused.

I was also stuck on the insurance dilemma. As someone brought up if it was a rental car I would be responsible but when I rent a car these days since cruising I get the full coverage insurance. Of course when borrowing a car I was not given the choice of full coverage insurance, and of course now I've found out they don't even carry comprehensive insurance for themselves to cover small damage such as this. Which goes back to the opportunistic double standard which just seemed wrong to me.

Oh well. Just stuck.. The same person had we not borrowed the car when given would have been offended. But that's just random useless info. We were also invited here almost forcefully, can't wait to leave really. Said person is the MIL .

Also unfortunately there doesn't really seem to be a small dent/scratch repair place here but maybe I can look a little harder but it seems they are refusing that route anyway as I am perfectly capable of doing nearly as good of a job as any of those shops.

Ps.. no $600 will not exactly break us but it's just a large chunk of our monthly budget.

Note to self and anyone else cruising on a budget don't borrow a car.
__________________
natew is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-05-2015, 10:32   #22
Registered User

Join Date: Mar 2015
Posts: 183
Re: Borrowed car responsibility

May I suggest a southern European approach ....


Do you have a bicycle, or any of your kids ?
Hopefully, this is the case, and both your kids and yourself are properly insurred when cycling.


Story 1 : goes as follow, kids were cycling in the garage drive next to this in law familly of yours car, lost control and scratched car with brake lever (depending upon bicycle size, we should not be far from a cart scratch).


Story 2 : Car was parked in the street (in case private drive creates a problem), if kids too small, you were on the bike.
Set handle bar and brake lever so that it matches scratch height (in case).
Get a quote from a car body specialist.
Call insurrance company covering bicycles.


You would be amazed in some parts of the world by the amount of cars side mirror which get smatched routinely by bikes and Mopeds, never when cars cross in narrow streets.
__________________
Claude_Marie is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-05-2015, 10:34   #23
Registered User
 
Cormorant's Avatar

Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Catskill Mountains when not cruising
Boat: 31' homebuilt Michalak-designed Cormorant "Sea Fever"
Posts: 2,073
Re: Borrowed car responsibility

Get in your boat. Sail immediately for the Galapagos, then the Marquesas. Do not return. Problem solved!

(Resident morals & ethics advisor)
__________________
Cormorant is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 06-05-2015, 10:38   #24
Registered User
 
funjohnson's Avatar

Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Currently Indiantown FL
Boat: 37' aluminum pilothouse "Elements"
Posts: 1,847
Re: Borrowed car responsibility

Quote:
Originally Posted by Claude_Marie View Post
May I suggest a southern European approach ....


Do you have a bicycle, or any of your kids ?
Hopefully, this is the case, and both your kids and yourself are properly insurred when cycling.


Story 1 : goes as follow, kids were cycling in the garage drive next to this in law familly of yours car, lost control and scratch car with brake lever (depending upon bicycle size, we should not be far from a cart scratch).


Story 2 : Car was parked in the street (in case private drive creates a problem), if kids too small, you were on the bike.
Set handle bar and brake lever so that it matches scratch height (in case).
Get a quote from a car body specialist.
Call insurrance company covering bicycles.


You would be amazed in some parts of the world by the amount of cars side mirror which get smatched routinely by bikes and Mopeds, never when cars cross in narrow streets.

Suggesting insurance fraud? Nice.

Matt
__________________
MJSailing.com - Written Blog
Youtube MJ sailing - Vlog
funjohnson is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-05-2015, 10:48   #25
Registered User

Join Date: Mar 2015
Posts: 183
Re: Borrowed car responsibility

Quote:
Originally Posted by funjohnson View Post
Suggesting insurance fraud? Nice.

Matt
Prove kids did not do it (possibly own nephew), and "forgot" to mention it.

Should you sail the Med one day, I suggest you adapt to local customs.

I have been told (off) in another thread that it is essential to respect people culture.
__________________
Claude_Marie is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-05-2015, 10:51   #26
Registered User
 
autumnbreeze27's Avatar

Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Cruising Mexico
Boat: 50' Herreshoff Ketch
Posts: 967
Re: Borrowed car responsibility

let them scratch your boat... eye for an eye!
__________________
autumnbreeze27 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-05-2015, 11:01   #27
Registered User
 
denverd0n's Avatar

Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Tampa, FL
Posts: 3,952
Images: 6
Re: Borrowed car responsibility

I'd say $600 is pretty cheap if it will buy peace in the family. But I'd also agree with two things that have already been said:
1. Don't hand over the money, take it to be fixed yourself.
2. Don't borrow anything from them again (or lend them anything, for that matter).

Good luck.
__________________
denverd0n is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-05-2015, 11:11   #28
Registered User

Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Novato, California
Boat: Rafiki 37
Posts: 262
Re: Borrowed car responsibility

As you don't really know when the vehicle was damaged I might offer to pay for half the cost of the repair but no more. The other issue is this damage just cosmetic or a potential maintenance problem in the future? It if is just cosmetic and you indicated the vehicle already has has cosmetic damage I would decline any payment past purchasing some touch up paint. To complicate matters more is it's your wife's family so she may not want to make waves.

Unfortunately you appear to be the victim of the dysfunctional family syndrome. It is a fairly common malady. The symptoms are relatives who believe they can share the worst aspects of their behavior with you and expect you to climb mountains for them for no other reason than that they are family.

I have had years of personal experience with this phenomenon and found that only cure was to avoid family at all costs. I live vicariously with horror stories from friends of their dysfunctional family interactions.

Sorry for your pain.
__________________
kentobin is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-05-2015, 12:02   #29
Senior Cruiser

Cruisers Forum Supporter

Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Anacortes
Boat: previous - Whitby 42 new - Goldenwave 44
Posts: 1,735
Re: Borrowed car responsibility

We were in a worse but similar situation. Just in town before taking off for Mexico. We would be there a few days and a good friend of a friend offered to loan us his beat up Chrysler convertible that he had been trying to sell with no offers. We got caught in a complete downpower and managed to hit an elevated curb in the middle of the road (it split right there). The wipers didn't work well and rain was pouring in to my lap from the bad top and I just didn't see the curb. Not going fast but fast enough and the car was basically not worth repairing.

Morally - totally our problem. We wrecked it and would pay for it. Problem was he was a total cheapskate and con man and wanted far more than the car was worth. But that was a sticky issue at that point since no one would ever know if some dimwit would have magically shown up and offered him the ridiculous price he now wanted us to pay.

All his friends, and his wife, called him out on it and told him he was just being greedy and a pig. But he didn't back down. It was insured and he even wanted us to pay him the full amount and he would have pocketed the amount over the deductible. If it wasn't insured we would have paid him what he "thought" the car was worth. So we paid him his price less the insured amount and walked away.

The guy was shunned by his/our friends and his wife walked out on him. But we were square with him. Just had to suck it up and do it.

Now we have borrowed cars again but reluctantly and only if the car is fully insured and good personal friends who share our sense of morality. But there is a reason for the old saw: Never a borrower or a lender be. Things can get out of hand quickly. But if I borrow something and it breaks - I take it as my responsibility to make it good. But I have also had friends who told me they were just waiting for the item to break and not to worry about it. I pay them back in other ways.
__________________
exMaggieDrum is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-05-2015, 18:37   #30
Registered User

Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 4,877
Re: Borrowed car responsibility

You borrow something and it gets damaged on your watch, you correct the issue. It should be no problem for you to take it in and get it repaired.

The fact they might accept a different level of repair for a ding they put in is irrelevant. Immagine if you have an insurance claim. Would you accept a low quality repair just because you have a few dings and scratches you haven't gotten around to repairing on other parts of the boat?

In the long run, doing the right thing will pay off. Just do it.
__________________

__________________
valhalla360 is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes Rate This Thread
Rate This Thread:

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
responsibility Randyonr3 Health, Safety & Related Gear 98 05-01-2015 22:03
Shared Responsibility in Belize? theonecalledtom General Sailing Forum 35 07-06-2014 06:54
Personal Responsibility Puddlefish Off Topic Forum 27 19-05-2010 07:52
Skipper's responsibility sneuman Seamanship & Boat Handling 19 16-08-2008 09:09



Copyright 2002- Social Knowledge, LLC All Rights Reserved.

All times are GMT -7. The time now is 19:59.


Google+
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Social Knowledge Networks
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.

ShowCase vBulletin Plugins by Drive Thru Online, Inc.