Becoming Invisible

[gamayun]

Originally Posted by Mike OReilly

The most invisible people I’ve ever seen are the poor and homeless in rich urban areas. Most of us actively try not to see them .

This is so true. Around here, the rich neighborhoods don't have homeless encampments near them, but it's nice to see that some of the tech titans have now started an effort to help the homeless.

[argonauta1]

I am 80 and completely invisible to any person let's say under 50. Millennials and down will even walk over one at times as they stare at their electronic appendages.

[skipperguy]

I only got one! I got one!
On a maintenance day on my 40 foot trawler I donned my coveralls and walked down the dock with my toolbox. The lady on the next boat, wine glass in hand, looked right through me whereas she would normally have said good morning. Happened more than once under same circumstances .
So interesting

[Jason Flare]

Mrs. Flare and I have always been invisible. We’ll stand at a counter to be served and be totally ignored. It’s comical.

We’ve been members of our YC for eleven years and people still ask us if we’re new members. Then we talk and share info. on our boats and cruises we’ve been on, our spouses, which dock we’re on and what slip we’re in. I already know everything about them and I’m simply repeating everything I’ve told them in the past about me and they seem to have zero recollection.

These people are old of course.

[Jason Flare]

Originally Posted by rsn48

Anne at the risk of being a sexist pig dog, I have found that invisibility is more experienced by women than men. I have had great looking women friends who said they became invisible around 60. Before they were pissed off at men always staring, now they were pissed off because they weren't always staring.

I live in a town called Qualicum Beach which is a Canadian retirement center for many from Alberta and Ontario. Qualicum isn't a retirement community, its just a town with lots of older people.

If you want to knock 10 years off your life, find an equivalent community in the States. If you moved into my area, you'd be the new kid on the block. Qualicum has the highest average age of any town or city in Canada. This isn't bad news as we are a political block to be contended with, here the Mayor has to humour us or no job. Parks and Recreations in the town has to cater us, meaning great dog walking areas and parks, 6 golf courses in a town not that big.

In my town, you aren't invisible, you're the new "hot" lady to arrive.... lol. Here when you see a bicycle peloton with all those slick jerseys and hot pants, the average age will probably be 72. When you are around a lot of old farts you tend to copy what they do and here they are an active bunch - volunteering, political, reading groups, all kinds of sports, electric bikes are popular here, good for folks who are partially gimped. Both my hips are replaced.

So below is a link to the places to live in the states with the highest average age:

Cities with the Highest Average Population Age in the United States | Zip Atlas

Another place to be and feel young again is the United States Power Squadrons.

[jimisbell]

Sometime after 70 (I am 82 now) I started becoming invisible to others and especially my family. It really hurts when I am trying to be in a conversation, telling a story, and younger members (like 50 or so) just start talking over me. Its as though my voice is just too weak to be heard. BUT, I have a louder than normal voice. I now know why, when I was younger, I noticed older people just sitting quietly. I do that a lot now days

[boatman61]

Second childhood..
Kids and old folk should be seen but not heard.

[JBsurfin]

In this technology related age, maybe being invisible is not a bad thing?

[houseofcharm]

Move to Manhattan-"GTF outta the way!" problem solved.

[houseofcharm]

Originally Posted by argonauta1

I am 80 and completely invisible to any person let's say under 50. Millennials and down will even walk over one at times as they stare at their electronic appendages.

A fellow NY pal, now in Sand Diego, pointed out that Vancouverites in the city-my wife's one-avoid eye contact on the street. Must be cultural and a privacy thing.



In NY, stangers bark at each other all the time but will also respond to input.

[svfinlandia]

Originally Posted by hatteras53

Hi Ann,

Since semi-retiring from over 50 years in business, there are more and more times I have become invisible to others. My Filipino wife and I live in a relatively upscale area where our family property is located. We are only here because the property has been in the family for 70 years. When I take my daily walks, many avoid eye contact with me. In business, as the owner, many paid attention to me. Now I find with little authority and much less money almost no one stays in touch with me. Our 44' Nauticat is almost finished and I often dream of a trip from Baltimore to Manila and then a circumnavigation but the insurance companies don't seem interested to help us. Here in the U.S.A. in my lifetime it has all become about the money/status/youth/beauty. These are the people that everyone pays attention to. The large companies helped to drive me out of business along with employees who did not want to work. Honestly, now being invisible has become a daily event for me. Don't get me wrong, there are some KIND Americans but they are the exception now. Having gone to Manila 13 times now, I greatly prefer the poor Filipinos. If you want me to share a becoming invisible story, no problem. I have many now to tell. Never thought this would happen. America will never be great again until we learn to treat others the way we want to be treated. When I had a 53' Hatteras everyone looked at me. Now I have a 1981 Nauticat 44' that looks no so good on the outside but has had a ton of work done on the inside where it matters. Beauty is only skin deep they say. Our Nauticat is beautiful on the inside with plenty of new wiring/machinery/steering. So I try very hard to look for the true beauty of people and things too. Take good care. Michael 410-913-2330

Having lived in the USA almost all of my life but having spent a little time in the Philippines, I know exactly what you are saying and completely agree.
I am 72 years old and started noticing the invisibility thing around 65. It has gotten worse as I look older.
But since you own a Nauticat I would definitely notice you!

Al, S/V Finlandia - 1983 36' Nauticar

[svfinlandia]

Yes, a Nauticat, not a Natucar.

[jimisbell]

about 30 years ago at the age of 55 I was learning to wind surf. I was doing quite well and was in the middle of the lake skimming along in my bright blue speedo (really I had a good body back then) and a runnabout with two young couples in it came by, One of the young ladies said, "Oh look at that cute OLD guy on the wind surfer." Everything started to sag after that day.

[DockDoc]

In my experience as an older person, and caring for them, I think it's not so much invisibility as we are an eyesore.
Just like it's "rude" to stare at the ill and infirmed, we "old people" are sick with a terrible illness. It slacks our skin, weakens our bones and muscles, reduces our vision and hearing, even leaches the color from our hair (if you still have some), and worst of all it's 100% fatal.
It's not that we can't be seen, just the opposite we are far too visible. We are an ever-growing segment of society with this fatal disease that, so far, no surgery, stem cell transplant, diet or medication can eradicate.
Add that to the fact that our society continually drives down the age in which someone is valued, a reversal of centuries of 'respecting elders' and it's no wonder we are age shunned. I remember calling my granddad as a kid for advice when working on my first car, he was a repository of wisdom. Now? Kids just google it and watch a youtube video, faster and easier than talking to some old codger.
Unless you're a billionaire, after about age 40 you are persona non grata in any media.

So I don't think we are invisible, just like holding your nose so your senses are not violated as you pass the dump, so do the younger people avoid looking at us, talking to us, or engaging with us. We are a portrait of their possible future selves they want to never see in the mirror.

We are not invisible, we are purposely ignored.

[jimisbell]

Originally Posted by DockDoc

We are not invisible, we are purposely ignored.

This is very true. Kids today think they know it all and dont want to be presented with an opinion that they are wrong.


I have started telling people I am their rich uncle. They pay more attention to me, but, I feel, as an uncle I am not obligated to include them in my will.....LOL. I plan on spending it all before I go. In the last 15 years I have survived Prostate Cancer, Blander Cancer and a Bilateral Pulmonary Embolism. I think I am past the hurdles now and am coasting toward 191.


With the Cancer bouts I have learned a lot about surviving it and I am now cancer free thanks to MDAnderson in Houston. But I find that no one wants to take my advice, even AFTER they ask for it.