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Old 24-01-2019, 00:33   #31
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Re: Becoming Invisible

I have a good friend who is in his mid 70's. He is the most outgoing, gregarious person I have ever met. I cannot go anywhere with him without him speaking to dozens of people while on the go. This all in spite of horrible skin graphs on his face due to skin cancer. He always says "its whats inside the box that counts, not the wrapping paper". I believe it. Knowing how to communicate is key, it takes practice.
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Old 24-01-2019, 05:20   #32
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Re: Becoming Invisible

Thank you, Ann, for starting a thread with heart.

Anyone with a hearing loss struggling to engage in a group conversation understands "disappearing" very well. Perhaps you've reached a point in your hearing loss that you've already given up annoying people by asking them to repeat themselves several times, so you have to try to wing it. After a short time, despite the nods and smiles that you offer at what you guess are appropriate times, the others in the group subliminally realize that you aren't following the dialogue. It makes them uncomfortable, they stop eye contact with you, and they focus their conversation on the other, hearing, members of the group; you are alone in that crowded room full of people. Helen Keller once opined that blindness separates you from things, while deafness separates you from people.
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Old 24-01-2019, 05:45   #33
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Re: Becoming Invisible

Danel^^^^

Thank you for posting this. My late father, my wife and son all had/have hearing loss that required hearing aides to be functional. This was one of my daughter's motivations to become an AuD.

Without hearing aides, people become less engaged. They become just another isolated curmudgeon, and there are numerous studies that show socialization is key to a longer, happier life. What infuriates me is that even with my outstanding medical coverage hearing aides are not covered. But they will cover the maladies that can result from poorer health.

FWIW- people who wear hearing aides will tell you there is a difference in sound quality between the Costco and high-end ones.
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Old 24-01-2019, 06:25   #34
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Re: Becoming Invisible

Then there are some that choose to be invisible. Being the " Gray man" could/does have some benefit.
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Old 24-01-2019, 06:53   #35
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Then there are some that choose to be invisible. Being the " Gray man" could/does have some benefit.
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Old 24-01-2019, 08:13   #36
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Re: Becoming Invisible

Then there are those that were never white, never had wealth nor power nor social status in the mainstream.

Hundreds of reasons "society" has for shunning its members, and a huge percentage have multiple of those factors, none by choice.

I'd go so far as to say as far as that upper-middle-class USian corporate office goes, the vast majority of global humanity would get no respect.

So aging is the great equalizer, unless you're known to still have wealth and power.

The fact that you are discovering this completely standard normal experience only now, shows you've lived a life of **enormous** and oblivious relative privilege so far, and likely will continue to do so in other aspects of life.

Be grateful, and strive for empathy with those that never have.
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Old 24-01-2019, 08:46   #37
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Then there are those that were never white, never had wealth nor power nor social status in the mainstream.

Hundreds of reasons "society" has for shunning its members, and a huge percentage have multiple of those factors, none by choice.

I'd go so far as to say as far as that upper-middle-class USian corporate office goes, the vast majority of global humanity would get no respect.

So aging is the great equalizer, unless you're known to still have wealth and power.

The fact that you are discovering this completely standard normal experience only now, shows you've lived a life of **enormous** and oblivious relative privilege so far, and likely will continue to do so in other aspects of life.

Be grateful, and strive for empathy with those that never have.
Disagree.. Ageing is the Great Un-Equaliser.. regardless of Wealth and Power..
Wealth and Power does not give you health and fitness, which to me equates quality of life.. not how expensive an electric wheelchair you can afford nor the nurses to wipe your butt.
Just got to look at the celebs death lists to see that.. yes a few live to their nineties but that's down to good genes not wealth.. Botox and Lifts is just wrapping paper.
Regarding the "Invisible".. that was half joking about men not considering me a potential threat with their spouse/GF anymore the way they used to in times past.
As overheard in Palma de Mallorca one day.. "Dunno what that leathery dried up old gits doing in here.. he has no chance."
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Old 24-01-2019, 09:43   #38
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Re: Becoming Invisible

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Danel^^^^

Thank you for posting this. My late father, my wife and son all had/have hearing loss that required hearing aides to be functional. This was one of my daughter's motivations to become an AuD.

Without hearing aides, people become less engaged. They become just another isolated curmudgeon, and there are numerous studies that show socialization is key to a longer, happier life. What infuriates me is that even with my outstanding medical coverage hearing aides are not covered. But they will cover the maladies that can result from poorer health.

FWIW- people who wear hearing aides will tell you there is a difference in sound quality between the Costco and high-end ones.
I am supposed to wear 2 hearing aids. I keep leaving them on the boat. LOL
Basically, $3000 IMO is a bit expensive.
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Old 24-01-2019, 09:43   #39
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Re: Becoming Invisible

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Then there are some that choose to be invisible. Being the " Gray man" could/does have some benefit.
I strive and aim for invisibility.
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Old 24-01-2019, 10:03   #40
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Re: Becoming Invisible

As a fireman I had a captain that looked like he was still in high school, a regular Dorian Gray. When we'd arrive at an incident people would almost push him out of the way so they could tell me what the problem was. People ASSUMED the "leathery old git" MUST be the one in charge, we were the same age.
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Old 24-01-2019, 10:27   #41
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Re: Becoming Invisible

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Disagree.. Ageing is the Great Un-Equaliser.. regardless of Wealth and Power..
Wealth and Power does not give you health and fitness, which to me equates quality of life.. not how expensive an electric wheelchair you can afford nor the nurses to wipe your butt.
Actually Boatie, it is well established in the medical research liturature that wealth does buy health. Wealth most definitely predicts health and fitness, especially as we age. Rich people in all societies tend to live longer, and live healthier, than poorer people.

Interestingly, it is the wealth disparity that seems to matters, not absolute wealth. So societies that are more equal have less of a range of health outcomes. Those that are severely unequal have a steeper health-wealth gradient.

Here’s one quote from the intro/summary of a recent report by the Center on Society and Health: "How are income and wealth lInked to Health and longevity?"

Quote:
The greater one’s income, the lower one’s likelihood of disease and premature death. Studies show that Americans at all income levels are less healthy than those with incomes higher than their own. Not only is income (the earnings and other money acquired each year) associated with better health, but wealth (net worth and assets) affects health as well.

Though it is easy to imagine how health is tied to income for the very poor or the very rich, the relationship between income and health is a gradient: they are connected step-wise at every level of the economic ladder. Middle-class Americans are healthier than those living in or near poverty, but they are less healthy than the upper class. Even wealthy Americans are less healthy than those Americans with higher incomes.
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Old 24-01-2019, 10:55   #42
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Re: Becoming Invisible

Ann,
I have a somewhat different take on becoming invisible.

...... i think it is just a function of becoming more observant and sensitive, as we mature.

Personally, I have worked very hard to become invisible (or un-noteworthy) after retiring from a career in Super yachts.

The media and public scrutiny was always a double edged sword and my employers/mentors longed for the simple days when they could live under the radar.
They advised me to always try to be low key in my personal life.

Could visibility not be more about personal esteem issues, rather than a valid perception in some cases?
I really don't know.

But I do know that a friendly smile and a warm Goodmorning! to all around me seems to be a good antidode to unwanted invisibility, if I'm in the mood.

Regardless of your circumstances, we stand out by interaction, not by becoming field independent.

We all make that choice both consciously and subconsciously.
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Old 24-01-2019, 10:55   #43
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Re: Becoming Invisible

So wealth does buy happiness, not really surprising, and studies have proven it. I've always maintained that if I had an existential crises questioning the meaning of life, I'd rather do it with a gin and tonic in hand with my head leaning against the mast of my boat than in some disgusting ghetto.

But the health thing need not be so. I won't call it socialized medicine, that would be politically incorrect, so lets call it by its new politically correct name - Universal Healthcare.

So on a lark, I predicted in my brain that countries with universal healthcare would have longer average life span than those that don't. So I went to wiki and googled life spans of countries, and countries with universal health care. And I'll first list the ranking of the three countries I am most familiar with 1. Canada 2. England 3. USA. (links will be below)

So Canada comes in at 12 (down the list) for average mean age (both sexes), England is ranked 20 and USA is ranked 35.

Canada has universal healthcare. So what countries were above Canada? 1. Japan * 2. Switzerland * 3. Singapore * 4. Australia * 5. Spain * 6. Iceland * 7. Italy * 8. Israel * 9. Sweden * 10. France * 11. South Korea * Each country with a star has some form of universal healthcare. USA does not. Chart links below:

List of countries by life expectancy
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_o...ife_expectancy

List of countries with Universal Healthcare
https://truecostblog.com/2009/08/09/...hcare-by-date/
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Old 24-01-2019, 11:31   #44
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Re: Becoming Invisible

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Canada has universal healthcare. So what countries were above Canada? 1. Japan * 2. Switzerland * 3. Singapore * 4. Australia * 5. Spain * 6. Iceland * 7. Italy * 8. Israel * 9. Sweden * 10. France * 11. South Korea * Each country with a star has some form of universal healthcare. USA does not.
i've been living in country number 10 on this list for the past... oh dear... for a long, long time and luckily benefit from its universal healthcare system. (Daniela, over hear, hearing aids are usually fully reimbursed). i find that universal healthcare is really something to uphold and well worth the taxes we pay!

what i can potentially add to this is this:

i read some years ago that folks living in southern half of this country tend to live on average ten years longer than those living in the northern half. questions were raised as to why and how..., and the article concluded that the longevity witnessed in the southern half of the country had more to do with the amount of sunlight people were getting than any other factor (the country really does have an upper half without much sunlight and a lower half with loads of sunlight). of course, once you get more sunlight, you get nice ripe tomatoes, etc. as well...


as to being or wanting to be invisible, i find that, these days, being visible on-line is more a problem than off-line. to this effect, can someone tell me how to change my avatar picture (to something invisible)?



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Old 24-01-2019, 11:31   #45
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pirate Re: Becoming Invisible

[QUOTE=Mike OReilly;2809729]Actually Boatie, it is well established in the medical research liturature that wealth does buy health. Wealth most definitely predicts health and fitness, especially as we age. Rich people in all societies tend to live longer, and live healthier, than poorer people.

Interestingly, it is the wealth disparity that seems to matters, not absolute wealth. So societies that are more equal have less of a range of health outcomes. Those that are severely unequal have a steeper health-wealth gradient.

Here’s one quote from the intro/summary of a recent report by the Center on Society and Health: "How are income and wealth lInked to Health and longevity?"[/QUOTE

The greater one’s income, the lower one’s likelihood of disease and premature death. Studies show that Americans at all income levels are less healthy than those with incomes higher than their own. Not only is income (the earnings and other money acquired each year) associated with better health, but wealth (net worth and assets) affects health as well.

Though it is easy to imagine how health is tied to income for the very poor or the very rich, the relationship between income and health is a gradient: they are connected step-wise at every level of the economic ladder. Middle-class Americans are healthier than those living in or near poverty, but they are less healthy than the upper class. Even wealthy Americans are less healthy than those Americans with higher incomes.

But you are talking about America.. the creator and land of cheap Junk Food.. also a place where health treatment is very expensive and dependant on wealth.
Could help explain why the USA comes 33rd in the average life expectancy stakes behind Japan, S Korea, the whole of Europe, Chile Costa Rica and even Cuba.. who just edges you at 32nd.
But these are just statistics that show how long a person can be kept alive.. not how long they can live actively and that is what I am talking about..
But hey.. I'm not a believer in statistics which can be skewed to suit markets.. and Big Pharma's a greedy provider your side of the Pond.

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