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Old 15-11-2012, 10:32   #76
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Re: Are you over 50? Need advice.

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Originally Posted by David M View Post
Probably most 32 year olds take their health for granted. I am 52 and no longer take my health for granted now that I have a somewhat lower natural energy level and see others near my age getting sick, mostly related to obesity and lack of exercise. There are not many obese people in their 60's, they die sooner than thin people. So over the last two years I have lost 50 pounds, eat very healthy and do a cardio workout almost every day. It is probably a lot easier to get into these habits at 32 than it was for me to start these habits at age 50.
Very true, Im 51, too heavy for my own liking and in the process of reducing it. Its the hardest thing Ive ever done.

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The other big thing is that I wished I had done was spent less and invested more of my money. It's much better to feel poorer when you are young and to be wealthier at retirement, than the opposite. Plan for your retirement when you are young. You will be much better off when you do retire and you might even be able to retire at an earlier than typical age. At the very least start a Roth IRA or take advantage of a 401K and have a portion of you paycheck automatically deducted. This way your retirement savings is put on autopilot and you don't have to remember or force yourself to save.
NO I fundamentally don't agree, because you cant see the future. many of my friends with private pension plans were decimated in the current recession. ( through no fault of their own). I would have been better to save my pension contributions under the matress, again you cant see 20 years into the future. Wealth and poverty are not respecting of age. IN fact I would argue I can live in retirement ( especially with old age supports that we have) on far less money then when I had kids. There are time to spend and times to save. Balance debt against gain. If debt lets you sail sooner and its sustainable , do it. Don't just save till your 60 and then something happens, always go sooner rather then later. Old people dont take risks.

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The third thing I wish I had in my thirties was the wisdom to never marry my first wife, who I am now divorced from. I wish that in my thirties I had the knowledge to know an excellent relationship from a so-so or a poor relationship. Find a mate who is truly your match. The most important thing becomes the pleasure you find in communicating with each other. The sex becomes secondary to non-existent as you get older, definitely less important to the relationship. Your mate for life has to be your best friend, the person who you prefer to spend all your time with. Fortunately, I found mine and am married to her.
This is alchemists gold, you cant tell at the start what going to work or not. You just live life, you experience the ups and downs, get over it , build a bridge. your milage will always vary. You cant see the future, so dont try and speculate about it.

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The last thing is that I wish I had made more effort to stay in contact with old friends. It is a lot easier to stay in contact with old friends than it is to make new friends.
yes I agree,

dave
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Old 15-11-2012, 11:22   #77
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Re: Are you over 50? Need advice.

Results from a 50-year longitudinal study are always interesting and important. Here is the summary:

The Secrets of Aging Well

Reading the book will provide many more details, of course, and is well worth it.

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Old 15-11-2012, 11:32   #78
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Re: Are you over 50? Need advice.

Live every day like its your last! No regrets!
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Old 15-11-2012, 11:45   #79
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Re: Are you over 50? Need advice.

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Thank you all for the incredible amount of good advice.

I worked my tail off to be an attorney. Have been practicing for four years now. Can simply no longer stomach going to work every morning for the next thirty years. Hopelessly depressing. So I bought a boat and am leaving in December.

The point is, wanted to make sure it was the right thing to do. Thoughts of lazy, irresponsible, not planning financially for the future (like so many of you said) in exchange for instant gratification, etc. abound. But I guess two or three years won't make a huge difference, right?
All I can offer is my own experience. In the early seventies I was married, going to engineering school and following the traditional path to the American dream. Then several things hit the fan, including losing my job, my wife leaving and subsequent divorce. I took a few weeks to visit an old college friend in FL and we lucked into a charter delivery to the Bahamas. My first time ever on any sort of sailboat. Within a year I had picked up a job on a charter boat, left the US and spent the next 2 years in the islands. Considering my situation it was pretty easy to drop out.

After a few years managed to save up and bought a 32' boat in partnership with a friend and spent another few years off and on cruising and living aboard. Along the way managed to get married again and have a daughter (with a little help from the wife).

Then reality reared its ugly head. Daughter was growing up and wife wanted to move back to the land life; some unreasonable expectations about having actual money occasionally, some assurance we would have food every day, silly things like that. So back to the rat race but with a very different attitude and a successful career even though I was starting out a bit late. Now 30 years later I've purchased another boat and in a couple of years will retire and go cruising again.

So dropping out worked for me and didn't totally ruin my life or make me any more of a black sheep in the family than I already was. In fact if anything I became the prodigal son returned to the fold.

So, if you ask me, go for it. I came back to start a career with no money or savings but with experience and memories I wouldn't trade for a million dollars (5 or 10 mill I might consider but no one has offered).
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Old 15-11-2012, 12:22   #80
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Re: Are you over 50? Need advice.

There has been some really good advice (IMO) handed out here. I would only add that no one is promised tomorrow and I have seen young men die for seemingly no rhyme or reason. I knew a Bering sea Capt. died as the tender age of 32, due to a blood vessel breaking in his head, no warning just fell over dead. We are supremely arrogant thinking that there will be a tomorrow for each of us. I was lucky, I started out at sea at a very young age and it became my love, the only trick was making a good enough living at it to pay for my cruising desires. Perhaps there is a way that you can apply your professional expertise to what you love and get the best of both worlds. Also there is something to be said for finding joy in whatever you are doing. I wouldn't make any decision in the heat of the moment, it helps to sit back relax and take time to consider all aspects of the choice you are making.
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Old 15-11-2012, 12:36   #81
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Re: Are you over 50? Need advice.

I can only say how I've dealt with this question in order of prioroty:

1. Make peace with your creator. For me this has meant answering the big questions of life that most people only search for when nearing the end. It has involved searching all different perspectives rather than just "popular opinion". After answering these questions to the satisfaction of your innermost being, live by it and die by it. It's called integrity. When you are 50 you will value people of integrity, even the ones who have answered the big questions and come to different conclusions to you.

2. Value integrity, people and relationships over money

3. While on this earth, try to find some way to work for yourself rather than others. Why sell 8 hours of your life everyday to build your employers dream? At 32 I went into business to invest in my own future. By 38 I was broke. By 40, I had dusted myself off and got back on the horse after noting a few things I could have done better the first time. By 50, I had a comfortable business and all the comforts of modern suburbia. Now, at 55, that business is managed. I don't have to attend anymore but my pay cheque has stayed the same. I don't see any employer doing that for you. Think about it.

Lastly, financial abundance is a trap. It can make you think more about yourself and your comforts and ignore those less fortunate than yourself. You will derive more pleasure from helping others than helping yourself. Look for a purpose that's bigger than yourself.

Your question is a wise one. Now I want to know what a 75 year old man can tell me, a young wipper snapper of 55.
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Old 15-11-2012, 13:06   #82
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Re: Are you over 50? Need advice.

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Originally Posted by sentientcj View Post
Thank you all for the incredible amount of good advice.

I worked my tail off to be an attorney. Have been practicing for four years now. Can simply no longer stomach going to work every morning for the next thirty years. Hopelessly depressing. So I bought a boat and am leaving in December.
We bought our 1st boat aged 71 and love being liveaboards while still paying taxes on part time professional work. My advice:

Decide to enjoy working - means a change in direction and reduced income/employment hours & sometimes much reduced charge-out rate.
Decide to live healthy - read "The Anti-inflamation Zone" by Nobel Prize winning bio-chemist.
Decide to like helping others whether they deserve it or not.
Ask God to help.
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Old 15-11-2012, 13:53   #83
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Re: Are you over 50? Need advice.

Buy MSFT and AAPL The rest will take care of itself, self.
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Old 15-11-2012, 14:08   #84
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Re: Are you over 50? Need advice.

Quote:
Originally Posted by sentientcj View Post
Thank you all for the incredible amount of good advice.

I worked my tail off to be an attorney. Have been practicing for four years now. Can simply no longer stomach going to work every morning for the next thirty years. Hopelessly depressing. So I bought a boat and am leaving in December.

The point is, wanted to make sure it was the right thing to do. Thoughts of lazy, irresponsible, not planning financially for the future (like so many of you said) in exchange for instant gratification, etc. abound. But I guess two or three years won't make a huge difference, right?
I was working as a lawyer at your age. I found it incredibly interesting, stimulating, challenging, and fun -- some of the best years of my life. I miss it, actually. Maybe you were working for the wrong firm? Work can also be fulfilling and satisfying (and ought to be); just don't overdo it or neglect the other parts of your life on its account.

It's funny how perspectives change as life goes on. When I was in my late '20's and early '30's, working in a big law firm, with tough deals and important clients, I thought I was in some incredibly high stress profession, and borderline workaholic. Hah! Later I knew how cushy it was -- in the office at 10, home by 8, most weekends off -- child's play. High stress? Nonsense. The next thing I did after that was entrepreneurial, and only then did I find out about what stress is! About what long working hours are! The point is that at 32, you don't know much yet, and it's particularly important to observe, talk to people, keep an open mind.
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Old 15-11-2012, 18:47   #85
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Re: Are you over 50? Need advice.

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Your question is a wise one. Now I want to know what a 75 year old man can tell me, a young wipper snapper of 55.
Take good care of your new teeth
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Old 16-11-2012, 22:46   #86
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Re: Are you over 50? Need advice.

With apologies to Kurt Vonnegut, sunscreen.
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Old 17-11-2012, 03:20   #87
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Re: Are you over 50? Need advice.

Well, James...

You've started two very thoughtful threads in one day! Every 32-year-old should be so reflective.

Reading between the tongue-in-cheek replies, you've inspired a firestorm of reflection by older guys like me.

A lot of the replies seem to hold that the key to happiness is to find a way to ditch work. I like my leisure as much as the next guy (you 'heard' me say in the other thread that I would possibly retire if not for having kids in college), but I would caution that a life of complete leisure can feel quite empty. Most of the people I know who are retired, and focus only on their leisure pursuits, feel it and it usually shows strongly. Those who are retired from working and create a balance between leisure, relationships and service to others, seem to have the happiest lives.

The best advice I saw above is to focus on the relationships. On your partner and your children, should G-d bless you with them if He hasn't yet. Sailing is fun, and I do wish I'd done more along the way, and believe me there are days when I'm busy at work and wish I could chuck it for a few hours and take my boat out. But it isn't my calling. The best advice I can offer is to find your calling and make it a significant part of your life. Are you feeling, four years after finishing law school, that the law is not your calling? Maybe another kind of lawyering (back to the other thread...) could be. Or maybe something entirely different. At 32, you're surely young enough to change tracks.

Nu, I know I speak for many here who have offered heartfelt advice in response to your OP, that you should only experience all the best that life has to offer. Keep us updated as things work themselves out!

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Old 17-11-2012, 04:05   #88
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Re: Are you over 50? Need advice.

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Originally Posted by rabbidoninoz View Post
Well, James...

You've started two very thoughtful threads in one day! Every 32-year-old should be so reflective.

Reading between the tongue-in-cheek replies, you've inspired a firestorm of reflection by older guys like me.

A lot of the replies seem to hold that the key to happiness is to find a way to ditch work. I like my leisure as much as the next guy (you 'heard' me say in the other thread that I would possibly retire if not for having kids in college), but I would caution that a life of complete leisure can feel quite empty. Most of the people I know who are retired, and focus only on their leisure pursuits, feel it and it usually shows strongly. Those who are retired from working and create a balance between leisure, relationships and service to others, seem to have the happiest lives.

The best advice I saw above is to focus on the relationships. On your partner and your children, should G-d bless you with them if He hasn't yet. Sailing is fun, and I do wish I'd done more along the way, and believe me there are days when I'm busy at work and wish I could chuck it for a few hours and take my boat out. But it isn't my calling. The best advice I can offer is to find your calling and make it a significant part of your life. Are you feeling, four years after finishing law school, that the law is not your calling? Maybe another kind of lawyering (back to the other thread...) could be. Or maybe something entirely different. At 32, you're surely young enough to change tracks.

Nu, I know I speak for many here who have offered heartfelt advice in response to your OP, that you should only experience all the best that life has to offer. Keep us updated as things work themselves out!

Don
Very good advice. I'd love to take a sabbatical for a year or two and just sail, but just sailing for a whole life would be boring and empty, at least for me. Finding fulfilling and interesting work is a really important part of life, IMHO. Preferably work you don't ever really want to "retire" from.
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Old 17-11-2012, 07:46   #89
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Re: Are you over 50? Need advice.

Happy Birthday! And get out there and sail - there are so many wonderful things to do!
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Old 17-11-2012, 09:30   #90
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Great thread, with particular application to me. I'm 50 (for a moment, like the song says), I'm a court administrator and my wife is an attorney. I've loved my work for a long time, it's an honor, but its starting to get to me. Most law is ultimately all about conflict, constant conflict. Family court is the worst of course, but except for the rare slice of transactional law, or trusts, it's all about conflict. I can already feel myself getting impatient and cranky. Living and breathing conflict 40, 50, 60 hours a week has to have an effect on your state of mind.

What I notice more and more is the drastic contrast between life at court and time on board. It's the difference between war and peace. The noise of battle and quiet serenity. I still have about 15 years of work, regular work to do, and I'm already wondering if I'll have the mental stamina and mental energy for it. My computer wallpaper at the office is a spectacular photo of our boat in a dead calm, copper colored, autumn sunset against the cliffs on the Missouri River. I find myself staring at that photo or staring out my office window more and more. It's a world away from the noise and conflict and fierce, psycho battles over who gets the kids this Christmas.

With all that I think I have some understanding about the OP's maybe creeping disenchantment with his line of work. One other poster said he enjoyed and misses it, good for him, but I think for most people it has to get to you over time, constant conflict wears you down like sandpaper. Anyway my point of this whole thing is that working in a battle zone every day makes me appreciate our time on the water even more. After a rough week in the noisy battle of crime and human pain and conflict, gliding out of the marina into the wind and waves is far sweeter than it would be otherwise and I appreciate it far more.
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