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23-04-2007, 20:05
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#46
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Registered User
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Puerto Rico
Boat: Beneteau First 30es fractional rig "Evolution"
Posts: 56
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I will throw a harder one for you...
I have been trying to talk my wife into buying a boat and moving aboard, after some years SHE THINKS IT WOULD BE A GREAT IDEA TO MOVE ABOARD!, I bought the boat 1 month ago, went to the marina to transfer the slip, and guess what my wife had for me when I arrived? her pregnancy test saying positive , so close and yet so far, well I will be cruising but not living talk about roller coaster emotions LOL
Danny H
__________________
1984 Beneteau First 30es fractional rig "Evolution"
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24-04-2007, 00:37
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#47
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Registered User
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Whangaparaoa,NZ
Boat: 63 ft John Spencer Schooner
Posts: 956
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Lots of liveaboards have babies, where's the problem?
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24-04-2007, 03:06
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#48
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Registered User
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Australia
Posts: 666
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gonesail
i regret going cruising every morning when i look out at my boat floating in the creek but instead get in my truck and drive to work. it's like a darned if you don't and darned if you do kind of thing but still it's a decision that i make.
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I don't really know where all the posts above came from,"Really left of centre",It was like this was some ,"Dear John", I love my boat but the missus dosen't heart bleed.
gonesail didn't blame anyone,and he sure didn't Con anyone with "Little steps".I think while most replys were venting blame or even blatently sugesting a way around the situation.I am surprised nobody even picked up on the overall way the replies have zeroed in on the "Femine part of the equation being the problem"Darned if ya do,Darned if ya don't"Was most deffinately a singular answer.As far as trying to put a square peg in a round hole,you blokes out there that have had a few "Admiral's"Ya should have learned that lesson first.If ya work in a salt mine,It's not a good idea to have a snail as a pet.But don't blame the snail if it dissagrees with the surounds.Admiral/snail,It was your choice in the first place.Regret but don't blame.Mudnut.
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24-04-2007, 21:20
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#49
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Registered User
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Philippines in the winters
Boat: It’s in French Polynesia now
Posts: 11,368
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When the car stops dead on the freeway, who do you kick first?
It isn't until later do you discover it was poor quality craftmanship by the manufacturer (parents).
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31-05-2007, 14:27
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#50
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Registered User
Join Date: May 2007
Posts: 19
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From a Womans HEART!!!
Ok, I sat here and read all the posts over this subject. Now from a womans point of view in a similar situation. I want to meet that man that says "come sail the world with me!" Where are you? Why havent you called??? LOL!!! I was married to a man who would get see sick going over a bridge. I was the dreamer.... I would look out at the ocean and see myself sailing with the man I loved and respected, too bad he didnt have the same vision. I took lessons and went on a charter. Had friends that owned boats, but could never own one myself because husband was to much against it. Married for several years my undying love of the water and boats has never changed, I see myself leaving land one day.. Hopefully with someone that shares the same ideals and goals. For goodness sake I am in my late 30's not dead. So here comes my advice, dont let someone shatter your dreams or make you turn your head from them. Things will happen if they are meant to happen. Hold onto the hope that one day you will live the dream, not just dream to live. Or at least thats what I keep praying for.
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31-05-2007, 15:23
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#51
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Registered User
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Whangaparaoa,NZ
Boat: 63 ft John Spencer Schooner
Posts: 956
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live2love, hope there's plenty of room in your email inbox, I predict you are about to get swamped.
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31-05-2007, 15:27
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#52
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Registered User
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Kennewick, WA
Posts: 507
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A personal success story: Almost immediately after we met, I told my wife about my long range dream of providing custom cruises aboard a yacht in the Caribbean. She remembered that discussion and firmly nudged me toward buying our first boat 24 years ago. Then four years ago we bought our cruising yacht - a FP Belize 43'. Two years ago we liquidated most of our possesions and took the giant step of beginning our cruise. She has remained committed to cruising, at least until we have reached our short-term goal in the Caribbean in spite of my occasional doubts that we were doing the right thing (adverse weather and unexpected boat problems had me down emotionally).
The key is having a supportive spouse willing to endure personal sacrifice for your benefit.
Another example of how not to do it: Some acquaintances of ours sailed in the 2006 Baja Ha-ha as did we. Upon arrival in Mazatlan, they decided they did not like being underway very much so they leased a slip for 4 months. I don't know where they are now but are presumably not cruising aggressively. Small steps seems to be the way to go.
__________________
John
Formerly on S/V Yachtsman's Dream
Life is too short to drink bad wine.
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31-05-2007, 17:51
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#53
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Registered User
Join Date: May 2007
Posts: 19
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Nope, mailbox is still empty... LOL!
HHUUMM... I keep looking and still he doesnt reply.....
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01-06-2007, 14:53
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#54
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Registered User
Join Date: May 2007
Posts: 19
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Still Waiting
Hello..... I am still waiting....LOL!!!
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01-06-2007, 16:27
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#55
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Moderator Emeritus
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Sunshine Coast, Qld, Australia
Boat: CyberYacht 43
Posts: 5,174
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Don't tell my wife...
Don't all the matchmaking sites want a photo?
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01-06-2007, 17:20
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#56
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Registered User
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Whangaparaoa,NZ
Boat: 63 ft John Spencer Schooner
Posts: 956
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L2l, This is probably way off topic but what the hell, we beayt the Italians this morning so here goes.
One of the things my wife and i are doing during our current spell as dirt dwellers is taking tango lessons (she has always wanted to , and she came sailing which was my idea so it's only fair). At dance class there is always a surplus supply of females amd i hear a lot of them bemoaning the fact that thewre aren't enough men. I think they are fishing in the wrong pond, if you want to meet a man don't go to dance classes.
In your situation I would spend as much time as possible in the "right" pond. Go to the local YC and ask if anyone needs crew, you'll end up racing not cruising but it's a start. Try to get to the ports where cruisers tend to hang out, maybe get on crew lists for some "organised cruising" like the ARC rally, hate the idea myself but you you need to getr into that pond.
Alternatively, if time and money allow, get a boat of your own and get going, you will attract attention to yourself, I promise.
A single woman on a boat is still a fairly rare species, hell if I wasn't married, with two kids, and 15 years younger.........ah forget it.
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01-06-2007, 19:35
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#57
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Guest
Posts: n/a
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I once had a wife who would do what I wanted, but didn't want to do what I wanted to do. Almost bought a boat to go cruising with her. Sure glad I didn't. I would not have it now.
Married a woman who wanted to do what I wanted to do. We lived on a mountain overlooking the ocean on three sides. Every day I looked out those window for two years, until I realized I did not enjoy the beauty of it because I wanted to be on the ocean, not look at it. Hesitantly, my wife agreed to dive into a five year plan. Made allot of mistakes. Didn't hit South America by 03 like we wanted. Stuck with a job to try to get things just right to go. Ended up putting too much into the job, and not enough into the boat. Best we got was some coastal cruising. Through that time, I have watched my wife become an able sailor, and an exceptional boatright. What is more important is to watch her beam as she tells people about times she was at the helm, or peening rivets over roves down in the lazzerette. She is still not sure about blue water, but as we are working along on our 5 year plan B, all I need to do is remind her of those accomplishments, and she keeps supporting the plan.
To the original question, Darn right I regret it. We should have left 4 years ago, broke or not. We have always worked through diversity, and would have been fine. Now we have the concern of starting over again in our 50's, instead of our 40's when we return. Still, three years to go on plan B. This time, it is sail or bust.
I would, with no regrets, choose to turn the boat back, or sell her where she lies if it came down to sail or divorce, but all other choices that have prevented me from cruising are regrettable.
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01-06-2007, 20:36
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#58
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Now on the Dark Side: Stink Potter.
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Palm Coast, Florida
Boat: Sea Hunt 234 Ultra
Posts: 3,962
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Quote:
Hello..... I am still waiting....LOL!!!
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Wait no longer sweet thing.
I am here to rescue you...
Getting real close to a split with the land-lubber woman.
Looking for a sailing companion with guts. (Not a beer belly)
Himself is a handsome 50 year old white male..186 cm tall, 100 kgs light.
Don't smoke anymore, but take a drink a now and then.
The boat is ready and so is the owner.
__________________
Life is sexually transmitted
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01-06-2007, 21:36
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#59
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Registered User
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Whangaparaoa,NZ
Boat: 63 ft John Spencer Schooner
Posts: 956
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kai Nui
Now we have the concern of starting over again in our 50's, instead of our 40's when we return. .
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I turned 50 the year after we got back. We think we have 5 years till youngest is educated then we're off again. In that time have to address the financial issue. Difficult yes, impossible no. Biggest issue is the mental one - why the hell am I doing this??? ( Answer : so I can go cruising again).
The funny thing is when you come back a lot of your attitudes have changed. Cars are the best example. I park next to my colleagues Mercedes, jaguars whatever in my 22yr old corolla, they laugh at me, but I know I'm right.
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01-06-2007, 22:01
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#60
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Guest
Posts: n/a
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I can relate. I drive a dodge with nearly 250k on it. Not because I can not afford to go into hock for a new car, but because, the old truck gets from A-B. When it no longer does that, I will replace it. I have been asked many times what I would do if I won the lottery. Usually that question includes what boat would you buy? My answer? I would add some goodies to the boat I have, and spend the rest of the money enjoying it.
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