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Old 13-01-2014, 03:05   #76
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Re: Alzheimer's Dilemma

Hi Harmony,
I only came across this thread tonight and have read all the posts. My dad developed Alzheimer's and dementia which was just devastating to the family as the decease progressed. While dad was 91 when he left us last year he was still a very fit and active person but over the previous five years you could see the decease slowly impact on his life more and more.
I started to type a whole list of things that occurred but I do not wish in any way to discourage what you are doing.
One of the things that does not seem to have been mentioned or discussed here was the elephant in the room, your safety and welfare. I do not wish to put a damper on things or dissuade you from your endeavours. I just wish to ensure you are aware of all the possibilities of having your husband on board.
Have you considered what would happen if your were incapacitated or unconscious. Does your husband have the capacity to understand what has occurred and what has to be done. You stated that your husband could not find his way from the head to the bed which was only a short distance. If you were asleep have you considered what he may do.
There are two people here that need to be looked after, not only your husband but yourself. If you are injured who is going to look after you and then look after your husband.
I certainly understand your desire to keep cruising. It is well documented that a brain that is challenged deteriorates at a slower rate. I know that you would wish to cruise with your husband for as long as possible. To do this and keep you both safe have you considered other options such as taking a third person on board. This would assist in a number or ways in that you would not have to have keep watch of your husband 24 hours a day. If something occurred to your husband and he went overboard you would have someone to assist to get him back on-board. Speaking of which if you fell overboard would your husband be able to get you back on board or know what to do. Could he start the motor if you were under sail and come back for you. An extra pair of hands in this situation does not need explaining.
Maybe this could be a way of getting help from the family by planning your trips with the assistance of a family member.
Please please understand I am not trying to upset you but make you aware of what do you do in an emergency. I just want to make sure both of you are as safe as possible to enjoy your sailing for years to come.
I may get a few negative comments on this but if it was me I would like to know all the facts, good or bad.

Greg H

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Old 13-01-2014, 03:43   #77
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Re: Alzheimer's Dilemma


Hang in there! Nothing but the best to you.

I dealt with these diseases when my mom had them. There are no "right answers" do what you think is right. Find the humor in this where you can, those who have gone through it as a care giver know there are some very funny moments just keep smiling.

" requires a strong moral principle to prevent me from deliberately stepping into the street, and methodically knocking people's hats off- then, I account it high time to get to sea..." Ishmael
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Old 13-01-2014, 04:07   #78
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Boat: S2 11.0A 36'
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Re: Alzheimer's Dilemma

Harmony let me just say thank you and give you encouragement and a big virtual hug. You both are facing an ugly disease with courage and grace. I have some experience here on both sides of this equation and will offer my help should our paths cross.

I have no doubt your efforts improve and extend your ill spouses quality of life and I suspect quantity too.

Greg does offer sage advice to think through and plan accordingly.

Feel free to PM me if you'd like to chat. Everyone is spot on reminding you to take care of YOU too. That can get lost too easily sometimes.

I'll try to remember to return and tell you about a friend in a similar position.
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Old 13-01-2014, 04:10   #79
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Re: Alzheimer's Dilemma

Originally Posted by ozsailer View Post
I may get a few negative comments on this but if it was me I would like to know all the facts, good or bad.

Greg H
I think all valid points - and do need to be considered, am sure OP's thoughts have gone down that route as well. Of course folks have different tolerances for risk, no absolute right answers in these circumstances but I suspect OP willing to take some risks in trade for some more moments together.

Sometimes in life their ain't no good answers - just how things are and yer get to pick out of choices you would rather not have to make....sounds like OP has her crawling over broken glass time with her other half - not everyone gets to be that lucky.........

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