"Your going across the ocean? I'm worried!"

[Frank4]

A lot of people were worried before we started on our cruise. I wrote the following to help with the above subject heading:

This happens almost every time we bring up the subject of our going across the ocean. Let me explain the steps we're taking to help ease your concerns.

1. We use pilot chart data collected on safe passages since 1871.
2. We pick the best times to go based on the percentage chance of storms, ideal temperatures, the right kind of winds, the height of waves, etc.
3. Before we leave, we can hire a weather consultant who specializes in sailing passages and tells us when is the best time leave. He gives us a detailed 8 day forecast before we leave.
4. We of course will have plenty of food, water, spare equipment, safety equipment, radios, etc.
5. We plan to travel with or near other boats when possible
6. We will have long range radio and a satellite phone which can be used to get continuous updates on weather, including calling the weather consultant who can update us on his forecast and our route. We even have e-mail capability so we can let folks know how we're doing.
7. If a storm were to approach, we have the ability in our catamaran to travel over 200 miles in a new direction in 24 hours. We have two engines, so even if there is no wind we can do this. This means if even a hurricane were to develop, we could move out of its way in 24 hours!
8. We have some experience doing ocean cruises - having taken our boat on several trips as documented in these web pages.

[ssullivan]

I share your pain. We haven't even arrived at the point where we will be doing any crossings, and have already run afoul of land folks giving us a hard time. Most common questions are:

1) How do you do your laundry?

2) What about your mail???

3) What about your career!?!?!

4) What will you do out there all day?

5) What will your address be?


The list goes on and on. Surprisingly, another twist is with parents. Both sets (in laws and biological parents) played little games and tried very hard to convince us to buy a house rather than a boat. Ultimately, neither set of parents is speaking with us now that we purchased and live aboard.

Land people just don't get it.....

HMMMM?
I guess they are trying to get rid of me. All I heard was "I am surprised it took you so long" and "I always figured you would go into the merchant marine industry after school".
Amongst my friends and family, it is an acomplishement worth recognition to sail across an ocean. The complications and challenges make it even more so.
The only solice I could offer anyone who would think me crazy, or fear for my safety, is to point out that this is my Everest. If I were to stay home out of fear, I may as well have died at sea.

[Rick]

Your story, Frank, reminds me of some cruising friends who I met whilst heading south to warmer climes. The couple was aboard a Hans Christian 38 and had come from the midwest. After they headed out they discovered that their respective relatives had been SO SURE that they would die "out there" that the relatives invaded their house, divided all of the contents up amongst themselves and left it bare.

Nothing that you can tell them will relieve them of their fears and preconceived visions of what you face. One of the few concepts that they might embrace might be, "Enjoy your comfort as you know it to be while we enjoy ours". "Help if you are able, do nothing to hinder our joy". "Thank you for your love".

[Alan Wheeler]

Oh boy, am I so relieved to hear I am not the only one to have Family that think you have gone nuts and are throwing your life away. I have had comments like, "you can't keep just wasting your life away" and "but that isn't going to earn you money".
Oh boy, they just don't get it. Life that is. I don't want to spend my life working my butt off saving every last cent, so I can retire counting my pennies while waiting for God.

[Pblais]

Just because your parents think you're nuts does not mean you're not<g>.

The people around you expect you to be like them.

[sneuman]

I don't want to spend my life working my butt off saving every last cent, so I can retire counting my pennies while waiting for God.

AMEN!

[BC Mike]

That fact that your parents and inlaws have stopped talking to you and think you may be nuts:\
Treat this as a good sign. It is one of the required steps of breaking free and getting on with your own lives.
Michael

[ssullivan]

Kai Nui... Paul... FUNNY comments. My wife just looked at me funny when I just burst out laughing...

Wheels - you got it exactly right!

You *could* sit in a cubicle all day long, every day without any fresh air. You'd get what... maybe 2 weeks off if you're lucky a year? Then... look at the costs in sanity, health (sitting all the time), and the actual costs of the taxes, cars, clothes, etc... etc... etc... to keep up with the Joneses.

I say you come out "financially even" if you plan cruising right. It can be the same financial vehicle to end of life that an office job can. Plus... with all the reduced stress... end of life might not come quite as soon!

Another thought we have a lot is: Would I like to lie on my death bed saying, "I made Vice President!" Or to say, "I saw and did everything I could do on this Earth."

Hopefully, this thread can help people on the board when the naysayers kick in. Heaven forbid we upset society.... ha ha ha. Did you know our parents refer to us as Bonnie and Clyde, as if what we are doing is illegal?? Ugh.

One aspect that is being totally ignored here is the social structure of sailing. I will admit, that when I moved aboard my boat, my biker friends were not as supportive as they would have been if, say I moved into the inner city. As a result, many of those friendships faded away, but I have developed friendships with people all over the world that are living the cruising lifestyle. Some of them, I see on a weekly basis, some once every couple of years or so.
In comparison to the friendships I had when my interests were more coventional, after a couple of years of no contact, those same friends would be strangers. With cruisers, the friendship stays on the same level if you are apart for a month, or a year.
I have addressed this subject with almost every guest on my show, and have had the same responce from all of them.
I think there is a sort of kinship that is developed by people who cruise, that can not be understood by those who have not lived it. This probably contributes to the negtive thoughts from those who are observing your choices from outside the cruising community.
I do not ever recall, having heard someone say "Do not go cruising. I went and I hated it." Even those have said "I would not do it again", seem to support the idea of go out and try it.