Young(er) cruisers who sold everything

[awaywego]

I'm looking for some empathy. If you are a cruising couple (possibly with young kids) who have sold your home, cars, possessions, etc. as part of your cruising plan, please respond to this thread. We have arrived at this phase of our plan and it's making me very nervous to be eliminating all of this from my life. It's scary when all you've ever known is to have a "home" and a job and a typical routine. We're committed, and it is definitely happening, but I'm just looking for someone who's been there already and dealt with these same emotions I'm experiencing.

[JKP]

The only regret you'll have is not doing it. Here are some references:

Windtraveler

Also google:
Sailing Britican
Where the coconuts grow
Monday never
Turf to surf

There are a few others I'm missing...

If you are some of the few lucky that can do it...make the leap.

Josh&Kierstin

[Bregts]

We did it when I was 32 and my girlfriend 27, the hardest part of cruising is cutting the docklines. You'l never feel really ready but at a certain moment you have to do it. Good luck!
our blog: Boxing Kangaroo • Sailing around the world (in Dutch)

[barnakiel]

Originally Posted by awaywego

I'm looking for some empathy. If you are a cruising couple (possibly with young kids) who have sold your home, cars, possessions, etc. as part of your cruising plan, please respond to this thread. We have arrived at this phase of our plan and it's making me very nervous to be eliminating all of this from my life. It's scary when all you've ever known is to have a "home" and a job and a typical routine. We're committed, and it is definitely happening, but I'm just looking for someone who's been there already and dealt with these same emotions I'm experiencing.

We were both 30+ when we sold everything and went sailing. We never looked back. I often thought that decision was all wrong. And we are not going back.

From that perspective (that is more than 10 y.o. now) I can say when one is not ready, one should not force things. If you feel you are not ready to cut some lines, simply do not cut them. Do summer trips before you do sabbaticals. Do sabbaticals before you go full monty.

Those who are driven, never ask. It is like love - you do not ask your father if you should love that girl. You fall in love and then you know exactly what to do, even if the whole world keeps on telling you that you are wrong, too young, the girl is no good and she cannot cook. That's why McDonalds today are full of teen lovers.

There is no comfort in what others have been thru. Others are not you and you cannot live their lives. You will live yours and the decisions you make, stupid or wise, will come after you sooner or later. And you will find things that you imagined and you were told to be good for you (at 30) to be pretty dumb by 45. And those that you did not do at 30 you will know you should have.

Someone said know thyself. That person was bang on. If you feel insecure, do not go, go in stages, make rehearsals, leave ALL your options open. If you feel secure, what others think or how others feel is irrelevant. Trade winds blow where they want as they want. They will neither stop nor reverse for anyone. It is your choice to sail it, or to stay in port.

Webb Chiles expressed the above in a very fine way: "Live passionately, even if it kills you, because something is going to kill you anyway"

self-portrait in the present sea Webb Chiles

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BywNIZm6GeA

You are not making your innermost choices. They make you.

Cheers,
b.

[awaywego]

Originally Posted by barnakiel

We were both 30+ when we sold everything and went sailing. We never looked back. I often thought that decision was all wrong. And we are not going back.

From that perspective (that is more than 10 y.o. now) I can say when one is not ready, one should not force things. If you feel you are not ready to cut some lines, simply do not cut them. Do summer trips before you do sabbaticals. Do sabbaticals before you go full monty.

Those who are driven, never ask. It is like love - you do not ask your father if you should love that girl. You fall in love and then you know exactly what to do, even if the whole world keeps on telling you that you are wrong, too young, the girl is no good and she cannot cook. That's why McDonalds today are full of teen lovers.

There is no comfort in what others have been thru. Others are not you and you cannot live their lives. You will live yours and the decisions you make, stupid or wise, will come after you sooner or later. And you will find things that you imagined and you were told to be good for you (at 30) to be pretty dumb by 45. And those that you did not do at 30 you will know you should have.

Someone said know thyself. That person was bang on. If you feel insecure, do not go, go in stages, make rehearsals, leave ALL your options open. If you feel secure, what others think or how others feel is irrelevant. Trade winds blow where they want as they want. They will neither stop nor reverse for anyone. It is your choice to sail it, or to stay in port.

Webb Chiles expressed the above in a very fine way: "Live passionately, even if it kills you, because something is going to kill you anyway"

self-portrait in the present sea Webb Chiles

You are not making your innermost choices. They make you.

Cheers,
b.

Thank you so much for your reply barnakiel. You're an inspirational writer. Two and a half years ago, my wife and I outlined all of the reasons that we wanted to make this change for our little family (and posted the here) and when I live by those beliefs, the nervousness fades away. It doesn't change the fact that it is still a complete change of lifestyle in almost every way, so the adjustment and the "unknowns" creep up on me here and there no matter how confident I am that I "love that girl." Really appreciate your perspective as it's been a great reminder that we've made the right decision and don't need to look back.

[Bill Balme]

We're probably a bit older, but in 2012 sold up nearly everything - a large house reduced to a 5'x5' storage locker. We spent 6 months aboard and cruised to Europe, then returned to the States to work the winter, renting an apartment and babysitting a house. We did another 6 months in the Baltic which was fantastic, but then decided to come back to work for 2 years before heading off permanently.

Even though we sold everything, we were able to find an apartment and furnish it for almost nothing (Graig's list took a beating) and have no regrets about letting all our stuff go. We feel closer to being able to let go permanently now - with ease.

Getting rid of our stuff was difficult but uplifting. Cruising with a small footprint was great for us, our marriage and our general outlook on what's important in life. When we leave (347 days!!!), it'll be easy. (Staying another 347 days, not so much!)

Don't worry about getting rid of stuff - worry about not getting out there and doing it!

[Bulawayo]

Hi Guys - I have sent you a pm.

[Jason mack]

We downsized and moved on the boat.
You will be surprised at how much of that stuff you do not need. And life is a lot more fun.
Mack and Isabella

[Peter200]

Found a great couple last night Lazy Gecko Sailing on YouTube, nice web page also. Young baby, two dogs about to buy a boat in Florida and live their dream. Good luck with your dream

[jcord]

I want to respond to this even though I am not in my 30's and kids are grown. I too am getting ready to sell it all and begin to set up to cruise with my husband. Sell my beautiful home, leave my job and he his too. This is very scary to me, much more so than to my husband. He is so ready to go.
But what drives me are many things. I have traveled very extensively. When I come back I realize I never regret spending the money on trips. I due regret however things I could have done, but did not. Opportunities not taken. I started to do more things in my travels. Those became my most treasured memories.
So I guess I relate that to this right now. I am unsure of many things. But I do know the most amazing things are out there to be explored and experienced. For me, not to take this opportunity would be like not really taking advantage of all that I can right now.
And I figure what is the worst that can happen. We lose money in buying this boat? I do not care it is just money. I hate it? Ok on to the next adventure. But what if we love it ( and I think we will). What if we never took the leap to see. I would rather venture into the unknown then regret I never tried at all.
I relate very much to your fears. I think a lot of people do. But these are just my thoughts on the subject. I have talked to many women who now full time live on their boats. Pretty much all have told me the same thing. Tons of fear etc..none regretted doing it, and the ones I spoke too still love it.
Hope this helps. Just my views of course.

[reed1v]

Good news is that you will make yourself believe you did a good thing regardless of the outcome. Bad news is that you will be scared as hell for many years, uncomfortable and damp, and prone to infections. Now go out and enjoy boating.

[Bulawayo]

For some the transition was easy - we were escaping a tyrant of a President who was (and still is) hell bent on destroying our country. That made it a pretty darn no brainer. We appreciate that when a comfortable alternative life style is available that it is much gutsier to make the change.
However, once past the initial hurdles of managing cash flow (possibly no regular income), understanding each other, knowing the weather and your boat etc life soon becomes more attuned with reality rather than our artificial moulding of life to suit our needs. Once at that point it seems that our lives improve bit by bit. It is hard not to be sail bound.

Originally Posted by jcord

I want to respond to this even though I am not in my 30's and kids are grown. I too am getting ready to sell it all and begin to set up to cruise with my husband. Sell my beautiful home, leave my job and he his too. This is very scary to me, much more so than to my husband. He is so ready to go.
But what drives me are many things. I have traveled very extensively. When I come back I realize I never regret spending the money on trips. I due regret however things I could have done, but did not. Opportunities not taken. I started to do more things in my travels. Those became my most treasured memories.
So I guess I relate that to this right now. I am unsure of many things. But I do know the most amazing things are out there to be explored and experienced. For me, not to take this opportunity would be like not really taking advantage of all that I can right now.
And I figure what is the worst that can happen. We lose money in buying this boat? I do not care it is just money. I hate it? Ok on to the next adventure. But what if we love it ( and I think we will). What if we never took the leap to see. I would rather venture into the unknown then regret I never tried at all.
I relate very much to your fears. I think a lot of people do. But these are just my thoughts on the subject. I have talked to many women who now full time live on their boats. Pretty much all have told me the same thing. Tons of fear etc..none regretted doing it, and the ones I spoke too still love it.
Hope this helps. Just my views of course.

[Kayaker]

Originally Posted by awaywego

I'm looking for some empathy. If you are a cruising couple (possibly with young kids) who have sold your home, cars, possessions, etc. as part of your cruising plan, please respond to this thread. We have arrived at this phase of our plan and it's making me very nervous to be eliminating all of this from my life. It's scary when all you've ever known is to have a "home" and a job and a typical routine. We're committed, and it is definitely happening, but I'm just looking for someone who's been there already and dealt with these same emotions I'm experiencing.

I haven't dealt with it yet but I totally hear you, I am in much the same position. This is something that really just caught our attention and we really want to make it work. I am almost 36, no kids, and no plans for kids, good jobs, very good income. I realize there is never a "good" time to leave, I am always going to think "if we continue like this for another year we can save so much more money that would allow us to do X". The thing that I really can't see is leaving with debt that isn't paying for itself (grad loans, boat mortgage). Debt that pays for itself (house mortgages that are paid by renters) is good in my book and provides some positive cash flow.

The wife, is a "lets just do it" type and thinks she wants the comfy catamaran but the entry price of probably at least 150k is a lot higher than a mono of probably less than 50k. The risk just seems so high to me to sell literally everything and not have any real fall back if this doesn't work for us. The cost and the risk of the cat makes a year or two difference for us on leaving for me.

The compromise I'm currently talking with the wife about is buying the sub 50k mono and trying it out for a year. If we love it and we see it as sustainable for us after 6 months to a year start on actually selling "everything" and stepping into that comfy cat. I see this as less risk in kind of a "try and buy" situation. This would hopefully happen towards the end of next year.

Oh yeah, I don't really know anything about sailing and I'm semi mechanically inclined so all of these stories of so much maintenance scare me. Especially when the only thing I seem to see on these boards are stories about how do you fix this or that and it costs so much to fix things in general and so much more to have someone else do it.

I want the adventure and I know the journey, including fixing stuff, is half of that. Just a new perspective I guess and something I have to get myself over.

[Alexphd1]

Wow kayaker, your current position is almost identical to mine!

[akprb]

Great question! Barnikiel provided a very wise response. I'll throw our two cents in here.

We employed a hybrid process. When we did sell the house et al and take off our girls were 1 and 4 (4 and 7 when they crossed the Pacific). We were in out early to mid 30's.

Our hybrid process? For the decade before we took off we shared a Huges Northstar 40 with a friend who was in a similar business. For those years we would each go sailing for about 2-3months on then off. In the off time we would manage and grow our respective business' (we were never partners) while the other cruised. The rule was "leave the boat and the business better than you found it".

What we learned from this was that after about the 8 week mark both my wife and I were itching to get back and do something different. Just endless "cruising" without purpose "which is generally a destination for us" just go old. Please don't hang me from the gallows! Just sharing our experience :-)

So this went on until kid number 1 arrived (found out we were expecting in Grenada but that is another story). We sold the boat, built "the" house and settled into "life". That lasted about 3 years until she got the bug. I found her one day sitting on the floor of the playroom staring at the world map on the wall and we had the "conversation". That turned into selling the house et al and taking off.

The hybrid part is that we kept the business and worked over the next two years to get it running by itself more or less so that we had a steady income and something to return to which we did after 10 years in 2012. Hybrid is also about doing different experiences and living in different places at different times of the year-see the "mobility home concept" :-)

After buying the boat we spent a season in the Bahamas after doing NOTHING to her short of general service. We went back to Alaska for that summer then the next season we added all the bit and pieces we knew we needed, tested them for another season and took off.

There were MANY anxious nights discussing if we were doing the right thing (see poem below written by Becky)....MANY. As many others have said in hindsight we would not change a thing. (that's not totally true but true enough) :-)

We ended that part of our lives in 2005 in New Zealand with the realization that the girls needed more and that the magic part of the globe was behind us for the time being. We immigrated (legally) and stayed there until our tax holiday ended and realization of how punitive their tax system was hit home. It was time.

What we learned was that we love the variety of life, time cruising (enough to really be "in it", time with family and home, time on the road in an RV (we did 3 cross country trips over that period) and the blessing of having a regular income that did not require us to be there 24/7.

There are many paths to this lifestyle and yours will fit you and be yours and it will be right. The hardest part indeed is casting off those lines and heading out. Here's a poem my wife wrote before we left for Mexico and points south:

THE RIGHT THING – a poem for sailing Mom’s
by Becky Berger, S/V 'Ohana in Exumas, Bahamas
Mother of 2 little girls

Last night I cried.
The tears just kept flowing and I couldn’t stop.
I panicked
Are we doing the right thing?
A beautiful house with cozy beds, soaking tubs, newly planted gardens
Neighbors who wave and smile as they pass by
Good friends
Computers humming with 24-hour internet access
Cable TV
Stainless steel appliances, washing machines, microwaves
Scheduled playdates, Gymboree, music lessons, soccer practice
Babysitters

Leaving it all

Traffic jams
Kids screaming in the backseat
An organizer so jammed I can’t close it
A house so big I can’t clean it
Running on the same treadmill – scenery unchanging
CNN buzzing with the same stories
Books on the shelf unread, waiting
Glancing wearily at my husband, too tired to talk

I sleep

This morning I woke to a brilliant sunrise
Coffee brewing on the galley stove
He was sitting with the girls, giggling and waking them with kisses
I stole a smile from him as I walked out on deck
The cool breeze awoke my senses as I sat at the bow with my warm mug
I pan our surroundings – coconut palms, white beaches, a sailboat, an old wooden dock
Breathing and stretching, I listened
Waves slapped gently against our hull
A seagull calls, breaking the silence
Clocks and schedules gone
Days spent together
We talk. We laugh. We share
I am alive and life is simple
And then I decided…

We are doing the right thing

_____

Enjoy every moment!