Why Do Cruising Couples Quit

[Saleen411]

After 45 years of wonderful voyaging, plus delivering boats, racing boats, Larry and I stopped crossing oceans only because his advancing Parkinson's (he was 72 so couldn't complain and still doesn't complain about this intrusion in his life) made both of us feel we couldn't handle emergencies such as a sudden squall in a less than perfect anchorage. This is a similar reason given by our other very long term voyaging friends.

Thank you Lin. All the best to you and Larry.....you both are an amazing couple.

[Lin Pardey]

Thank you for the very nice comment. Wonderful thing is, though we are not out there cruising now - cruising is still very much part of my life as it has lead to me publishing books by other voyagers. Just this week I am launching Voyaging with Kids, which is written by three voyaging parents. What fun it has been, reliving many of my favorite cruising memories as I read what they have written.

[LEOCAT66]

We have been at this sailing thing for 53 years, since we married. Have had numerous boats. Always dreamed the dream together. Have only sailed the U.S. Gulf Coast so far. Retired in 06, moved aboard last December and are enjoying being together in this small place. Even have our cat and dog with us. Rarely are apart and do not enjoy it either. We do everything together and are still quite in love.

The boat has been our glue through our working years and children. It is even better since moving aboard. Easier to keep than the house, which we still have. She loves the small space. We have no TV but do have Internet through phone. Do not do social media, except for sailing related. Life is Good here on Rosa, our 35' cutter. We are truly blessed!
Things are very basic and simple onboard. We love the old school style.

It apparently takes a totally honest and unconscious commitment to the life style and each other. Better be seriously in love if you expect positive results. We have a simple phlosopy, Give Whatever You Are Asked and Never Ask That Which You Should Not. It has worked for us.

Of course there are many things which may stop us in our tracks, illness being a major one but we will persist as long as possible.

Thank You Lin and Larry for your inspiration, you have no idea how it has affected our lives, we think of you daily and attempt to follow in you wake.

[Jim Cate]

Originally Posted by LEOCAT66

We have been at this sailing thing for 53 years, since we married. Have had numerous boats. Always dreamed the dream together. Have only sailed the U.S. Gulf Coast so far. Retired in 06, moved aboard last December and are enjoying being together in this small place. Even have our cat and dog with us. Rarely are apart and do not enjoy it either. We do everything together and are still quite in love.

The boat has been our glue through our working years and children. It is even better since moving aboard. Easier to keep than the house, which we still have. She loves the small space. We have no TV but do have Internet through phone. Do not do social media, except for sailing related. Life is Good here on Rosa, our 35' cutter. We are truly blessed!
Things are very basic and simple onboard. We love the old school style.

It apparently takes a totally honest and unconscious commitment to the life style and each other. Better be seriously in love if you expect positive results. We have a simple phlosopy, Give Whatever You Are Asked and Never Ask That Which You Should Not. It has worked for us.

Of course there are many things which may stop us in our tracks, illness being a major one but we will persist as long as possible.

Thank You Lin and Larry for your inspiration, you have no idea how it has affected our lives, we think of you daily and attempt to follow in you wake.

Very nice post, Leocat!

I think that Ann and I would get on well with you two. Too bad we are so far apart!

Enjoy it as long as it is feasible; I don't think any other life style could be as good.

Jim

[Mike OReilly]

Originally Posted by LEOCAT66

The boat has been our glue through our working years and children. It is even better since moving aboard. Easier to keep than the house, which we still have. She loves the small space. We have no TV but do have Internet through phone. Do not do social media, except for sailing related. Life is Good here on Rosa, our 35' cutter. We are truly blessed!
Things are very basic and simple onboard. We love the old school style.

It apparently takes a totally honest and unconscious commitment to the life style and each other. Better be seriously in love if you expect positive results. We have a simple phlosopy, Give Whatever You Are Asked and Never Ask That Which You Should Not. It has worked for us.

Beautifully said Leocat. I wish I could put it as poetically and as clearly as this. Although at the early end of our cruising life, I believe my partner and I approach this life in a similar vein. I would love to raise a glass with you and your wife should we ever share and anchorage.

[Hudson Force]

Originally Posted by Hudson Force

................. Nancie and I will definitely quit cruising. We're not looking at it as a loss, but an expected transition. Maybe in another ten years or so we'll rent some small place ashore. It will be a wonderful adventure! ....................

I don't often find a purpose in quoting myself, but here I see that I had expected ten more years of cruising just six months ago. Now I'm questioning if we will be able to last ten more months!

Here's a contraption that I assembled to help my wife get on and off our boat while we are in a slip without a suitable finger pier.



After many alterations, fitting handles and shorter steps, we gave up and moved to a face dock where she can mange, but still with effort. Nancie has post-polio syndrome and it has resulted, for her, in having a loss of leg strength.

We've been cruising and living aboard since 1972 and we've never had a home ashore as adults. I'm encouraged by reading of those above who have made this same change with success.

I see us renting a ground floor apartment and adapting our adventures to travel that is available with restricted mobility.

As we start our 44th year on board I'm beginning to look at a new future and new possibilities for a continued adventure.

[Seaworthy Lass]

Originally Posted by Hudson Force

I don't often find a purpose in quoting myself, but here I see that I had expected ten more years of cruising just six months ago. Now I'm questioning if we will be able to last ten more months!
.............
We've been cruising and living aboard since 1972 and we've never had a home ashore as adults. I'm encouraged by reading of those above who have made this same change with success.

I see us renting a ground floor apartment and adapting our adventures to travel that is available with restricted mobility.

As we start our 44th year on board I'm beginning to look at a new future and new possibilities for a continued adventure.

Hudson, I do so hope you can find ways to work around any loss of Nancie's mobility on board. If not, I am sure with your adventurous spirit you will find ways to enjoy whatever new life unfolds.

SWL xxx

[Bulawayo]

Wow, you guys are inspirational - good luck with your future plans.

Originally Posted by Hudson Force

I don't often find a purpose in quoting myself, but here I see that I had expected ten more years of cruising just six months ago. Now I'm questioning if we will be able to last ten more months!

Here's a contraption that I assembled to help my wife get on and off our boat while we are in a slip without a suitable finger pier.



After many alterations, fitting handles and shorter steps, we gave up and moved to a face dock where she can mange, but still with effort. Nancie has post-polio syndrome and it has resulted, for her, in having a loss of leg strength.

We've been cruising and living aboard since 1972 and we've never had a home ashore as adults. I'm encouraged by reading of those above who have made this same change with success.

I see us renting a ground floor apartment and adapting our adventures to travel that is available with restricted mobility.

As we start our 44th year on board I'm beginning to look at a new future and new possibilities for a continued adventure.

[Mike OReilly]

Sad to hear this news Hudson. But judging from your wise and thoughtful remarks here on CF, I'm sure you and your wife will approach this next stage of life with the same sense of adventure and joy.

Aging is a reality for all of us. I'm acutely aware that none of us are getting out of this life alive. I certainly hope you'll keep posting here on CF, even as you transition to a new life ashore.

[Tayana42]

Originally Posted by Hudson Force

I don't often find a purpose in quoting myself, but here I see that I had expected ten more years of cruising just six months ago. Now I'm questioning if we will be able to last ten more months!

Here's a contraption that I assembled to help my wife get on and off our boat while we are in a slip without a suitable finger pier.



After many alterations, fitting handles and shorter steps, we gave up and moved to a face dock where she can mange, but still with effort. Nancie has post-polio syndrome and it has resulted, for her, in having a loss of leg strength.

We've been cruising and living aboard since 1972 and we've never had a home ashore as adults. I'm encouraged by reading of those above who have made this same change with success.

I see us renting a ground floor apartment and adapting our adventures to travel that is available with restricted mobility.

As we start our 44th year on board I'm beginning to look at a new future and new possibilities for a continued adventure.

Hudson Force, you and Nancy continue to be an inspiration and a source of calm wisdom. I'm certain you both will adapt, adjust and move ahead. You have demonstrated that life is an adventure every day. I wish you both the best.


S/V B'Shert

[Cap Erict3]

I highly recommend standing in cold water and casting flies for fish to laugh at. Short britches in summer, hip boots in winter.

When I move back ashore it will certainly be near a trout stream.


------------------------------
Looking for another pretty place to work on the boat.

[oldragbaggers]

Originally Posted by Hudson Force

I don't often find a purpose in quoting myself, but here I see that I had expected ten more years of cruising just six months ago. Now I'm questioning if we will be able to last ten more months!

Here's a contraption that I assembled to help my wife get on and off our boat while we are in a slip without a suitable finger pier.



After many alterations, fitting handles and shorter steps, we gave up and moved to a face dock where she can mange, but still with effort. Nancie has post-polio syndrome and it has resulted, for her, in having a loss of leg strength.

We've been cruising and living aboard since 1972 and we've never had a home ashore as adults. I'm encouraged by reading of those above who have made this same change with success.

I see us renting a ground floor apartment and adapting our adventures to travel that is available with restricted mobility.

As we start our 44th year on board I'm beginning to look at a new future and new possibilities for a continued adventure.

Reading this post came as quite a surprise, having just spent time with you and Nancie a month ago and at that time no indication in our conversation that the idea of giving up cruising was anywhere in your near future. But your concerns for your wife and her safety are certainly understandable. I know someday Lance will be making the same decision for my benefit. I love that you are looking at it as a new adventure. Maybe a nice camper would do for you and you could just take your adventures inland. There's a lot to see and do between these two coasts. We see that as being a possibility for us when the water cruising is no longer possible.

We wish you and Nancie the very best in whatever you decide to do. I just have a feeling that two adventurous souls like yourselves still have an awful lot to see and do yet.

[crazyoldboatguy]

Such blessings that you have each other. That you had such a good long run. That you can continue to see reality as a challenge and an adventure.

I can only hope I have half as much gumption as both of you have.

[BandB]

Originally Posted by Hudson Force

I don't often find a purpose in quoting myself, but here I see that I had expected ten more years of cruising just six months ago. Now I'm questioning if we will be able to last ten more months!

Here's a contraption that I assembled to help my wife get on and off our boat while we are in a slip without a suitable finger pier.



After many alterations, fitting handles and shorter steps, we gave up and moved to a face dock where she can mange, but still with effort. Nancie has post-polio syndrome and it has resulted, for her, in having a loss of leg strength.

We've been cruising and living aboard since 1972 and we've never had a home ashore as adults. I'm encouraged by reading of those above who have made this same change with success.

I see us renting a ground floor apartment and adapting our adventures to travel that is available with restricted mobility.

As we start our 44th year on board I'm beginning to look at a new future and new possibilities for a continued adventure.

Wifey B: We're both so moved by your situation and your obvious love of your wife. Find life anew whatever that is. There are always new adventures, different ways to enjoy. Ground floor, road travel, finding new hobbies, whatever it takes. Take this challenge and turn it somehow into the beginning of something new and wonderful even though obviously nothing about her health issues is wonderful. There's a whole world out there and outside of boating. Maybe you'll discover a part of it and find pleasure that you never could have on the water. I know it's not easy but you had this passion for the water and I'm convinced passionate people can find new passions. I think of Bush after being President taking up art, because now he had the time to. He's pretty good at it, actually. I know if boating was removed from our lives we'd miss it but then I wonder, what would we have done instead if it never had been there for us. I'm sure there's something but we haven't made the effort to find it.

I so wish you both the best and hope you find so many joys of life that you wonder why you waited all these years to discover them.

[Hudson Force]

Originally Posted by crazyoldboatguy

Such blessings that you have each other. That you had such a good long run. ...................

I do appreciate all the wonderful comments above, but I need to clarify that our "good long run" is not over, but the planning for the end has begun. I no longer believe we will last another ten years. .... maybe one,- maybe three? My thoughts are put toward the planning as I have always been a long term planner.

I had first planned to move aboard a sailboat when I was twelve years old and I wasn't able to buy my first sailboat until I was fifteen. I wasn't able to buy a boat big enough to live on until I was 23. Since I made plans for eleven years to move aboard, it's not a surprise that I may take a few years planning the departure.

So, anyway, I don't want the members here thinking, "What's the story with Hudson and Nancie? I thought they were giving up the life aboard way back in 2015?"

Sure, my plans are for a continued adventure when we leave, but I'll likely spend some more time adapting my boat as a true geriatric vessel. My first plans may include some access ladders for the transom to the dinghy and kayaks and something to deploy to the dock with the rungs close together for small steps. I might need to change the configuration of our companionway steps too.

I won't leave out the possibility of another boat that's simple, flat floor plan and a level transom pass to a floating dock. Maybe something like a Texas Dory. We might become cruisers that exclusively choose to stay at floating docks when we're not anchored out.

I should also add that our health is excellent other than Nancie's leg strength. So, we have some serious plans to be made and Crazyoldboatguy is absolutely correct that it's a blessing that we have each other, but the long run is not over yet!