Why Do Cruising Couples Quit

[zboss]

Originally Posted by oldragbaggers

This just plays into the recurring theme here that the only successful "real" cruisers are the ones who cross oceans and plan to do it forever.

Or, according to another thread, do so frugally with small vessels and no income.

We also talk about what comes "after". In our world, one of our goals for cruising is to find a place to grow old in, a country, a home, a plot of land to build something on after we toss out the anchor permanently.

We have friends that gave up cruising after 17 years, longer than many but less than many as well... they cited one reason for doing so is because "cruising" had changed. Too many boats, too many people, crowded anchorages, expensive food and drinks, and a change in the places they visited all those years. To them, the "Golden Age Of Cruising" was over and I see their point. We have discussions about armchair GPS sailors, crowded anchorages, mooring balls, safety, etc... all the time here. I do remember a time in the caribbean where we could go all summer and only see one or two boats. No, our anchorage is crowded with maybe a 100 boats year-round.

[krafthaus]

Great thread and I concur with virtually all the points. Keeping it interesting is something my wife & I have discussed a lot.

Besides the usual, we'd like to find some charitable work to plug into here and there along the way. It would be a great diversion, let us meet & work with some others on a different level and make a contribution for the local people's benefits as a way of giving back.


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[Emmalina]

What a silly thread you may as well ask Why do couples divorce !

[chuckr]

[QUOTE=zboss;1741908]

We also talk about what comes "after". In our world, one of our goals for cruising is to find a place to grow old in, a country, a home, a plot of land to build something on after we toss out the anchor permanently.

/QUOTE]


as we said earlier, when we got on we knew someday we would have to get off. we sold everything so no land based to return to.

From day 1 we said could we live here? So far we got a list that includes among others Cartagena, Colombia and Spain, Lisbon, Portugal, DR, and a few others.

What will reality be? Who knows. We will cross that bridge when we get to it and not worry about it until then.

until then sail on soulmates, sail on.

[sailorboy1]

Originally Posted by savoir

I'm against the " sell everything and go " routine. You should never burn your bridges let alone lock your escape hatch.

I've moved 4 times in the past 11 years years. You can always get a new bridge and there is no reason to be paying for an old one you aren't using.

Selling everything doesn't mean you don't have a place to go.

[oldragbaggers]

Originally Posted by sailorboy1

I've moved 4 times in the past 11 years years. You can always get a new bridge and there is no reason to be paying for an old one you aren't using.

Selling everything doesn't mean you don't have a place to go.

Second that.

We are selling everything as well, but also have a plan in place for when it's over. We agree that, unless part of your plan is to spend an amount of time every year ashore, there is no point in paying for a place you are not using unless you are renting it out and it is providing an income for you. But we have never had any desire to become landlords and it is our hope that we will be happy to keep moving, at least in the initial few years. There's so much we want to see and since we're getting a late start we don't want to waste a lot of that time sitting around in a condo somewhere.

When we actually get to the point that time ashore feels like a good idea we will look at buying a shore based home then.

[oldragbaggers]

Originally Posted by zboss

Or, according to another thread, do so frugally with small vessels and no income.


It's not the "only" way and maybe not even the best way, especially if you have ample resources. Some people don't, and for them it's nice that some want to offer a little encouragement not to give up on that account.

I was only saying that there are many different ways to define cruising. It's not always full time, it's not always permanent, and it's not always round the world or even across blue water. To define anything less than that as a failure just doesn't seem quite right to me. A lot of people start out from day one with a short term goal in mind. And a lot of people (us included) have no desire to make long ocean passages. I just think the word cruiser can be a little more "all encompassing." We've always felt like cruisers even though our cruising thus far has always been local and confined to weekends and vacations. We get on our boat, we load it up and we GO. To us, that's cruising.


We also talk about what comes "after". In our world, one of our goals for cruising is to find a place to grow old in, a country, a home, a plot of land to build something on after we toss out the anchor permanently.


This is one of the more exciting prospects for us, the idea that we might come across that "gem" of a place in our travels that just speaks out to us and says "you're home."


That is also the primary reason we are selling everything and cutting all of our current land ties. Where we live now is not someplace we would want to spend the rest of our lives even if we could afford to keep a shore based home while cruising.


We have friends that gave up cruising after 17 years, longer than many but less than many as well... they cited one reason for doing so is because "cruising" had changed. Too many boats, too many people, crowded anchorages, expensive food and drinks, and a change in the places they visited all those years. To them, the "Golden Age Of Cruising" was over and I see their point. We have discussions about armchair GPS sailors, crowded anchorages, mooring balls, safety, etc... all the time here. I do remember a time in the caribbean where we could go all summer and only see one or two boats. No, our anchorage is crowded with maybe a 100 boats year-round.

That last part I don't like to hear.

[Hudson Force]

Originally Posted by oldragbaggers

That last part I don't like to hear.

"The golden age of cruising is over"? I don't accept this at all! Sure, there are places that were once treasured and have now become crowded and trite; however, these places can be selected as simply brief provisioning stops or avoided altogether.

Nancie and I started cruising in 1971 and we've been livingaboard and cruising since 1972. Our crusing range is not extremely wide, for we remain within the stretch from Maine to the Bahamas. This area must be among the more "crowded" cruising areas worldwide, but we still anchor in lonely wilderness areas. Our observation is that we estimate 80% of cruisers seek clustering with other cruisers and find comfort in the community.

George Town, Exuma - Marsh Harbor, Abaco - Key West, Fl - Marathon, Fl - Ft. Lauderdale, FL - Vero Beach, Fl - Beaufort, NC - Solomons, Md - Annapolis, Md - Newport, RI - Bar Harbor, Me ...... These places seem to draw those 80% of cruisers in our route.

Now, I am not opposed to these places and we select a brief time at each of these, but we're spending the great majority of our time in other places!

I suspect that there are similar choices to be made world wide.

[FollowingCs]

Originally Posted by Livia

We have been cruising for a bit now and most people I meet cruising had the dream to "go cruising" not "go cruising forever".

So, when they stop cruising, they have successfully made their dream happen, not quit.

Perfect for how I was feeling about this entire 'quit' thing people keep bringing up. Like if you don't die on your boat, you've somehow failed. I learned to snow board, and decided I learned to go fast enough to really hurt myself, so I gave it up. I guess technically I 'quit' snow boarding, but that has such a negative connotation to it. I just don't like it enough to outweigh the potential bad consequences.

We will probably be part timers anyways, more than likely, so I guess if we never start 'full time' cruising, we can never 'quit' it.

~ Following C's ~

[Doug Brown]

It's not really a life style, it is a 24/7 ball busting job.

It isn't "glamorous", it has serious "peaks and valleys" and if you can not take a joke that God hands you, you will never make it.

And it is usually just one person's dream that the other person gets sucked into.

The more successful you were in the land based world, being the hard driving executive(s) with exact plans that have to be met and "flunkies" to do your grunt work, the less chance you have of making it.

A good ratio of what to expect is 1 good day, 7 ok day's and 3 days of things going really wrong. If your mind isn't able to forget the 9 days of paying your dues for the one good day, you'll never make it.

"If you can't take a joke, don't buy a boat". Sums it up pretty good.

My wife and I have been doing it for 32 years, haven't killed each other yet but have had a couple of nuclear melt-downs and thought we were going to meet our maker on more than one occasion. It happens.

If you can't accept a surprise ever day, you may want to think it over a little bit harder before jump on the band wagon.

A good test to see if it is really you is go sit on the ground in your back yard during some cold night between 2am to 5am dressed in your foulies, stare at some fixed point for hours and have someone occasionally spray you with a garden hose. Fun? Well one day it will happen to you.....

If you can say "Well, that didn't work" and still come up with a plan to overcome it, you may just last.

[impi]

One reason we have seen many couples quit each other and sailing is due to a lack of care in 'boat set-up'. Usually the dream starts with one party and lets face it folks - mostly (not always though) men persuade their ladies into this life style. We then see these guys skimping on boat set-up such as decent electricity, water and other BASIC household 'luxuries'! We read on some forums of men who say their woman should cut their hair so as not to use electricity on hair driers and so forth - well - give me a break - if I was the woman I'd find someone more caring! Then we meet some sailors who shout commands at their woman - they act like some Naval Officer in command of the USS Enterprise or something and then they wonder why their woman get to be unhappy - hello !!! A very important criteria for cruising couples is for both to have input into the setup of a vessel, for both to be sharing the dream in equal measure and for each member to realise its a joint team effort out there - get these factors in place and chances are couples will find it hard to leave this life style for 'land locked thinking' again! Of course there is also a little thing called - money !

[skipgundlach]

Stugeron for Seasickness, available nearly anywhere but the US, but in particular in the Bahamas.

The admiral was THIS CLOSE to ditching it after being stuck in Vero Beach summer 2014; the heat and the bugs almost drove her off. My current sig line is in response to her suggestion that we move across the street from her mother in the retirement community this fall.

The grandchildren may yet; we're compromising on 6 months ashore (well, on the damned $400 ball), 6 months cruising - for now.

I may go to single handing, if I can figure out how to afford it, as I really don't see a good end to this. We personally know many who have gotten off for grandchildren...

L8R

Skip

Morgan 461 #2
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and most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition.
They somehow already know what you truly want to become.
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[SV THIRD DAY]

"The Golden Age of Cruising is Over"

That's the most BS self centered thing I've read in.....oh all morning in a world that churns it out daily. Ya...lets go back to the 1950...life was so much better then right? No...how about the '30s then? Don't want to cruise then? Well just when was this "Golden Age" Ponce de Leon?

[GordMay]

Originally Posted by Ann T. Cate

Panama James,
I remember there was a pharmacist in NZ who prescribed me ephedrine plus an antihistamine (not benadryl,) but I can't remember what the other drug in that combo was...

The, so called, Coast Guard Cocktail is a prescription combination of 25mg each of Ephedrine and Promethazine.
Also prescribed as 25mg Promethazine and 60mg Pseudoephedrine.

Promethazine (also called Phenergan) is an antihistamine that prevents the motion sickness, and pseudoephedrine acts as a stimulant that counteracts the side effect of drowsiness.

[CoupleLifesaver]

I think when two people spend time in close quarters, it shows what they are really made of. Some have said, you are only as strong as your weakest link, others realize, things that start off with adventure often lose their luster, after prolonged periods of time, with no change. I would love to find the perfect couple, that really love each other, but need a break, for even 10 days or two weeks, (absence makes the heart grow fonder) and I take the 1st Mate position, and preferably she takes the break and gives her soul a break, hanging at my piece of paradise, my home that is equipped to take anyone's heart to new heights, peaceful, gorgeous views and a pool and hot tub in total privacy, but close to one of the most beautiful riverfront small cities in the country. It's an easy drive to Florida, and after a rest on land, maybe your sailing partner will be rip roaring to get back on the water, only time away will tell. I understand the frustrations, I know sailing isn't all vacation, it's suppose to be a labor of love, love of the sea... but not everyone can do it without a break! I would love to go back, and taste that sea breeze once again, maybe I too am ready for a change, but I replaced sailing with riding my gorgeous horse, but after riding the trails, riding the waves sounds mighty fine!