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24-09-2015, 13:35
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#331
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Senior Cruiser
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Cruising Indian Ocean / Red Sea - home is Zimbabwe
Boat: V45
Posts: 1,352
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Re: Why Do Cruising Couples Quit
Besides your own honesty and practical outlook I also see the other posters comments to be very caring - the sailing community, despite the occasional often healthy squabble, are a very decent bunch of folk.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hudson Force
I do appreciate all the wonderful comments above, but I need to clarify that our "good long run" is not over, but the planning for the end has begun. I no longer believe we will last another ten years. .... maybe one,- maybe three? My thoughts are put toward the planning as I have always been a long term planner.
I had first planned to move aboard a sailboat when I was twelve years old and I wasn't able to buy my first sailboat until I was fifteen. I wasn't able to buy a boat big enough to live on until I was 23. Since I made plans for eleven years to move aboard, it's not a surprise that I may take a few years planning the departure.
So, anyway, I don't want the members here thinking, "What's the story with Hudson and Nancie? I thought they were giving up the life aboard way back in 2015?"
Sure, my plans are for a continued adventure when we leave, but I'll likely spend some more time adapting my boat as a true geriatric vessel. My first plans may include some access ladders for the transom to the dinghy and kayaks and something to deploy to the dock with the rungs close together for small steps. I might need to change the configuration of our companionway steps too.
I won't leave out the possibility of another boat that's simple, flat floor plan and a level transom pass to a floating dock. Maybe something like a Texas Dory. We might become cruisers that exclusively choose to stay at floating docks when we're not anchored out.
I should also add that our health is excellent other than Nancie's leg strength. So, we have some serious plans to be made and Crazyoldboatguy is absolutely correct that it's a blessing that we have each other, but the long run is not over yet!
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24-09-2015, 13:36
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#332
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Moderator
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: aboard, cruising in Australia
Boat: Sayer 46' Solent rig sloop
Posts: 28,400
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Re: Why Do Cruising Couples Quit
Hudson, that's more "plan" than I have. I'm aware of a few options, for sure, but I figure our bodies will let us know when it's time for a change. And until then, we'll just keep on doing what we do, as long as it's still fun.
Ann
__________________
Who scorns the calm has forgotten the storm.
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24-09-2015, 13:50
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#333
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Registered User
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: SC
Boat: None,build the one shown of glass, had many from 6' to 48'.
Posts: 10,208
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Re: Why Do Cruising Couples Quit
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hudson Force
I don't often find a purpose in quoting myself, but here I see that I had expected ten more years of cruising just six months ago. Now I'm questioning if we will be able to last ten more months!
Here's a contraption that I assembled to help my wife get on and off our boat while we are in a slip without a suitable finger pier.
After many alterations, fitting handles and shorter steps, we gave up and moved to a face dock where she can mange, but still with effort. Nancie has post-polio syndrome and it has resulted, for her, in having a loss of leg strength.
We've been cruising and living aboard since 1972 and we've never had a home ashore as adults. I'm encouraged by reading of those above who have made this same change with success.
I see us renting a ground floor apartment and adapting our adventures to travel that is available with restricted mobility.
As we start our 44th year on board I'm beginning to look at a new future and new possibilities for a continued adventure.
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Sorry, I'm there and have been. Life can be a bitch but common sense makes sense. I guess sometimes it's time to say the mind works but the body doesn't.
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24-09-2015, 14:05
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#334
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Registered User
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Currently on the boat, somewhere on the ocean, living the dream
Boat: Morgan 461 S/Y Flying Pig
Posts: 2,298
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Re: Why Do Cruising Couples Quit
Quote:
Originally Posted by BandB
Wifey B: We're both so moved by your situation and your obvious love of your wife.
clip...
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I once called my newlywed "Wifey" - she objected, saying she was only Wife B.
Now she's XWB and I'm XHA ☺
But there seems to be a confusion in terms from the AP (above poster).
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24-09-2015, 14:27
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#335
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Moderator Emeritus
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Jacksonville/ out cruising
Boat: Island Packet 38
Posts: 31,351
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Re: Why Do Cruising Couples Quit
Hudson, have you considered a Trawler with a boarding ramp?
Just looking at that ladder It looks a lot harder than a boarding ramp.
Sent from my iPad using Cruisers Sailing Forum
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24-09-2015, 16:18
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#336
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Registered User
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Paradise
Boat: Various
Posts: 2,427
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Re: Why Do Cruising Couples Quit
Quote:
Originally Posted by a64pilot
Hudson, have you considered a Trawler with a boarding ramp?
Just looking at that ladder It looks a lot harder than a boarding ramp.
Sent from my iPad using Cruisers Sailing Forum
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Great suggestion on the ramp. While not cheap, there are some great passerelle's and ramps. They can take any shape.
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24-09-2015, 19:52
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#337
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Moderator
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: aboard, cruising in Australia
Boat: Sayer 46' Solent rig sloop
Posts: 28,400
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Re: Why Do Cruising Couples Quit
Hudson,
There's another thread somewhere on CF where there was a link posted to photographs of passerelles taken [perhaps] by Jimmy Cornell. Anyhow, the link is here somewhere, and it might have been posted by evans starzinger, just not sure, sorry.
Ann
__________________
Who scorns the calm has forgotten the storm.
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24-09-2015, 21:05
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#338
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Registered User
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: San Diego, CA
Boat: Cheoy Lee 41
Posts: 82
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Re: Why Do Cruising Couples Quit
Keep at it, we're going to bash back from Mexico in our second year of cruising to liveaboard in San Diego and make more money. If we go liveaboard again long term it will be on a powerboat for the amenities and easy space for kiddos.
__________________
Invest in experiences, not things.
https://AboardAstraea.com
A growing family's life aboard a Cheoy Lee 41
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25-09-2015, 00:50
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#339
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Moderator Emeritus
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Lived aboard & cruised for 45 years,- now on a chair in my walk-in closet.
Boat: Morgan OI 413 1973 - Aythya
Posts: 8,453
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Re: Why Do Cruising Couples Quit
Quote:
Originally Posted by a64pilot
.............
.................. Just looking at that ladder It looks a lot harder than a boarding ramp. .........
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I agree. The ladder in the photo was a quickly improvised attempt to meet an unexpected situation. We don't often find a requirement to board from the bow; however, with our dinghy davits, the stern access is blocked and our best option is normally anything amidship near the lowest point on the shear line.
We only have an 18" distance from our deck at the gates in our lifelines to most floating docks. There can be a choice made by restricting where we choose to dock.
A passerelle that can be deployed to a dock level. dinghy level or even swim level might be a solution. I'll investigate these.
__________________
Take care and joy, Aythya crew
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29-09-2015, 20:01
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#340
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Registered User
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Southern California
Posts: 1,144
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Re: Why Do Cruising Couples Quit
Best of luck to the both of you on Hudson Force and may adventures be yours in whatever and whenever you decide ❤️
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04-10-2015, 23:06
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#341
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Registered User
Join Date: Sep 2015
Posts: 25
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Re: Why Do Cruising Couples Quit
Well it's like asking why do couples that retire often split up. It's people get used to doing their own thing while working and only see each other once in a while as soon as they retire they're now spending allot more time with each other and find out they get on each other nerves and don't really know how to talk to each other.
Most common reason of older people to quit is health. Some people don't like the lack of space or simply get board with the idea of living on a boat it's simply not for everyone. Might be fun for a year but it can get old having to haul things to a boat not having a car or having to pay a premium to have a car worrying about were you park it while you cruise around ect. The other reason could simply be money.
When you put 2 people in a small space and they don't know how to adapt to each other it can turn ugly some people simply need space.
Then you add most people have familys and want to vist them hard to go vist the grandkids when you own a boat sure you can do it but some people simply want to be their way more often then they could be if they live on a boat. Lots of reasons why people stop they could of simply went I had enough and want something differen't.
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04-10-2015, 23:44
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#342
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Registered User
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Bellevue
Boat: Jeanneau DS 49
Posts: 52
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Re: Why Do Cruising Couples Quit
My wife never leaves my side nor do I HERS. We hold each other when things are difficult and work out the problems together. I guess that is what makes things work. In thick or thin we will lean on each other to make it work out.. Good luck on your sailing, but remember that if you can make it on land then you can make at sea, just trusting each other.
__________________
Some days you are the Pigeon, other days your the Statue !
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08-10-2015, 08:19
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#343
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Registered User
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Paradise
Boat: Various
Posts: 2,427
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Re: Why Do Cruising Couples Quit
Quote:
Originally Posted by haha49
Well it's like asking why do couples that retire often split up. It's people get used to doing their own thing while working and only see each other once in a while as soon as they retire they're now spending allot more time with each other and find out they get on each other nerves and don't really know how to talk to each other.
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Oh that's for certain with many couples. We've always spent every possible minute together. Sickening to many people. We get asked how we do it. But we do, joined at the hip. However, I've known those the opposite. Had one friend who said she and her husband would have to divorce when they retired. She loved the beach and he the mountains. They already took separate vacations. They both dreamed of retiring, her on the beach, him in the mountains. I had friends who the husband/father spent 30 years in the military. They got use to him being gone most of the time. His return was disastrous. Then a friend who was a salesman, spending five days a week most weeks on the road. He and his wife had a pattern. He let her handle the home completely and they just enjoyed fun things together on weekends and vacations. Suddenly he was home, wanting to change things around the house, under her feet, annoying her. Actually a boat saved their marriage. He'd spend all week on it and then she'd join him or he'd join her at home for the weekend.
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08-10-2015, 20:05
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#344
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Registered User
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Niagara Falls
Boat: Westsail 32
Posts: 629
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Re: Why Do Cruising Couples Quit
Quote:
Originally Posted by Saleen411
Many cruisers are couples who have invested HUGE amounts of time and money to make their "dream" a reality. Then for one reason or another, some have eventually given up on the "dream" and gone back to life on shore.
Aside from the previously mentioned issues, I'm curious as to WHY many cruising couples eventually quit. What part of reality gets in the way of the "dream" I would be very interested to hear what the experienced cruisers on this board have to say.
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I know a cruising couple who quit, a year and a half ago. They quit because the annual maintenance cost on their 42 foot centre cockpit sailboat got too high.
I have read that 2/3 of the couples who quit in the middle of a circumnavigation do so because their boat is too big.
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09-10-2015, 03:33
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#345
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Moderator Emeritus
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Lived aboard & cruised for 45 years,- now on a chair in my walk-in closet.
Boat: Morgan OI 413 1973 - Aythya
Posts: 8,453
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Re: Why Do Cruising Couples Quit
Quote:
Originally Posted by Seymore
..................
.................. They quit because the annual maintenance cost on their 42 foot centre cockpit sailboat got too high. ...................
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I do not doubt that this is true, but so much of the maintenance costs depends upon the manner of care. If owners are doing much of the work themselves and "sending out" repairs the costs can be manageable. By 'sending out" I mean removing an item and taking to a workshop instead of having a repair person on board your boat. Taking an air conditioning unit, shrouds with swedge fittings or a starter motor to a shop for repair costs a fraction of having a technician, rigger or mechanic come to your boat.
My maintenace costs for my 41' center cockpit boat remain less than the property taxes OR the utility bills that my friends spend for their houses.
Discounting bottom work on the hard, I've only had a professional come aboard my boat for work on seven occasions that I can recall for the 43 years that we have been living aboard and cruising.
__________________
Take care and joy, Aythya crew
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