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Old 02-03-2015, 15:13   #301
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Re: Why Do Cruising Couples Quit

Hmmm...yeah the sailing rig was pretty important to us. 😉 It's a controversial design (yes, Glenn Henderson) but has served our purposes well.
We do have a three bladed prop courtesy of her first owner, who kitted her out pretty well. And I suppose it might have helped get me out of trouble in the Bay and the ICW once or twice, though with our girl the main effect is improved backing (reduced prop walk) which was the intent I believe.
I get your point that the list places a high value on comfort versus performance. I like to think we struck a balance between racing-background spouse and the "who me camp?" spouse, but that balance falls in different spots I suppose.



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Old 02-03-2015, 15:21   #302
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Re: Why Do Cruising Couples Quit

Talk about drift, I think this is 300, it has nothing to do with the OP. It came down to real needs, money, age ect. to being a marriage issue to ?
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Old 02-03-2015, 15:40   #303
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Re: Why Do Cruising Couples Quit

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Originally Posted by jpsgirl96 View Post
I like to think we struck a balance between racing-background spouse and the "who me camp?" spouse, but that balance falls in different spots I suppose.



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You made a good boat choice
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Old 02-03-2015, 15:57   #304
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Re: Why Do Cruising Couples Quit

Wifey B: Is "camping" like when you go to a place like maybe a Holiday Inn Express or is it more like a Motel 6? Just wondering....
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Old 02-03-2015, 17:04   #305
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Re: Why Do Cruising Couples Quit

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You made a good boat choice

Hey you're outing me. ☺️


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Old 02-03-2015, 17:40   #306
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Re: Why Do Cruising Couples Quit

An interesting read on this blog post about cruising as a couple from a cruiser and former family counselor.
Cruising as a Couple | s/v Skylark
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Old 03-03-2015, 03:17   #307
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Re: Why Do Cruising Couples Quit

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.......................
.................... Personally, my wife and I are somewhere in between your "boat camping" standard and the "motor yacht" you seem to detest so much.

So are you really going to quit as you mentioned in your post?
I'm not actually "boat camping".....
.... though many have more amenities than we have.

I've never stated that I detest motor yachts.

I don't have a post here that mentions I'm "quiting".

.....although when it comes to couples quitting,- everyone who starts also quits!
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Old 03-03-2015, 10:51   #308
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Re: Why Do Cruising Couples Quit

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I'm not actually "boat camping".....
.... though many have more amenities than we have.
To me, your Morgan looks like a luxury condo!

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Our 36' Hunter with 11' beam is plenty comfy for two. I would love to have a nice bed in the aft cabin, and a separate shower. But we're good with a boat that is paid for, and just the right size for my wife and I to sail. The ground tackle is not too heavy, allowing me to get by without a windlass. It keeps me in shape.

We just added a 4" mattress topper (cut down to fit) in the V-berth. It's quite comfy now. Should have done that 2 1/2 years ago. I'm sure after all your years cruising, the boat fits your needs completely? I think us new cruisers that also live aboard figure out how to live comfortably aboard. We've got friends that cruise fulltime on 27-34' boats, and they've been at it longer than we have.

I do see quite a number of motor vessels travelling the Atlantic ICW. I don't see many at anchorages though. Not sure where they are going. Not many at the anchorages we frequent in the Bahamas. Sure a number of mega yachts, and large motor yachts like Norhavn's. I've got over 100 boat cards from people we have met. I think 5 are on MV's, a few catamarans, and the rest mono sailboats mostly in the 36-45' size.

I still haven't met anyone personally, saying they are ready to quit cruising.

Ralph
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Old 05-03-2015, 01:11   #309
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Re: Why Do Cruising Couples Quit

Why DO cruisers quit? I just returned to Sedna after a four month hiatus... mountain cabin living seems austere to flat-landers, but it is luxurious compared to 35 ft sailboat. I just watched the movie 180 South and I was thinking cruising isn't about the size, shape, or power of your rig, but attitude. I had me a 1980 VW Camper Van awhile back. Before that I had a VW hatchback with a backpack. My boat seems downright top drawer by comparison. Real cruisers have probably experienced something I haven't. I quit for four months. Does the timer reset? Is skiing, hiking, guzzling beer, and rock climbing less cruiser like than sailing? I feel so ashamed... but at least I didn't buy a motor yacht.
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Old 05-03-2015, 07:19   #310
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Re: Why Do Cruising Couples Quit

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Why DO cruisers quit? I just returned to Sedna after a four month hiatus... mountain cabin living seems austere to flat-landers, but it is luxurious compared to 35 ft sailboat. I just watched the movie 180 South and I was thinking cruising isn't about the size, shape, or power of your rig, but attitude. I had me a 1980 VW Camper Van awhile back. Before that I had a VW hatchback with a backpack. My boat seems downright top drawer by comparison. Real cruisers have probably experienced something I haven't. I quit for four months. Does the timer reset? Is skiing, hiking, guzzling beer, and rock climbing less cruiser like than sailing? I feel so ashamed... but at least I didn't buy a motor yacht.

When I read this post and see, "Real cruisers have probably experienced something I haven't." and "I feel so ashamed... but at least I didn't buy a motor yacht." I have the impression that some equate real cruising success with overcomming harsh conditions, adventuring into danger and showing ehdurance over hardship. I'm all for this as a goal for those that desire this type of extreme adventure, but it's just a subset of real cruisers.

We think of ourselves as real cruisers, but we remain seeking the most mild weather conditions. We like daylight passages and calm, warm weather, protected anchorages. Sure, we've been caught by tropical stroms, but we always seek the safest locations.

We also have real cruising friends who have been adventuring on motor yachts for many years. I don't consider them to be less adventurous because they don't use sails. I also use my diesel engine regularly and recognize the care and use of my propulsion engine as a critical cruising skill.

Real cruisers are on sailboats and motor yachts. They crusie within small and large ranges. They remain near or far from land. They use marinas and anchor off. They are in big cities and the wilderness. Real cruisers find adventure in challenging weather and ghosting across a mirror flat sea. Real cruisers are on 22' Catalinas and 134' Wesports.

Some real cruiser's we've met:








..... 'huge variety of real cruisers!
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Old 05-03-2015, 07:50   #311
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Re: Why Do Cruising Couples Quit

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An interesting read on this blog post about cruising as a couple from a cruiser and former family counselor.
Cruising as a Couple | s/v Skylark
She really nailed it. I'm going to print that out and read it every day as we get ready to leave on our next cruise. Thanks.
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Old 06-03-2015, 20:56   #312
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Re: Why Do Cruising Couples Quit

Here's the Thing, I worked all my life now 63 and the wife 65, we have a very large Beautiful Family 8kids, and 35 Grand kids, and 5 Great Grand Kids, I sold my Taxi Service, after 9 years, of driving me nuts, and our large Family Home, because we decided that we needed to Live Life while we are still able to, my health was deteriorating, and was a bit scary.
Any way, we decided to just do it, we took a 35 ft Catamaran as a Trade on our House, that we had just finished renovating, and basically paid the house out, which left us with not a lot of money, but we never felt more Free, we have been on board now for five years, while we have to live on a very tight Budget, and miss our kids heaps, and our Grandkids heaps, we know they all Love us, and miss us as much as we miss them all.
We have many home to visit when we get close to them.
I believe that as a Parent my job has been done, Love is Transportable, I feel I need to always show our kids we are as close as a ph call away, and daily text msg, our kids are very independent, and can live with us or without us, they Know us. They are proud of us, even though at times when we are out in the Big Ocean they Worry, about us, like we used to Worry about them, when they were Growing, we laugh and say Now you know how we felt at times.
Life is about Living, and I have been Blessed with a Mate that just loves to be loved by myself and our kids, she misses All the kids, very much, but also realises, that they are all great kids and can live with out us being on their door steps 24x7 like a lot of other Parents, Grand parents, Etc.
Insecurity, comes like Waves on the Ocean, Rough weather, Cyclones, come from Nature, we have more rough days than Smooth days living on our Cat, we have our good days and our bad days, mostly good, we know that at the end of the Rough weather times, the Magic of what Nature shares with us, is very personal.
We know that we could have never experienced this Amazing Journey, unless we were fully committed, and to do that has to come From to People that are willing to Share the good with the Bad, not look back, to be able to Live for the day, and be thankfully to, and for each other, for what we have, and not for what we are missing or do not have.
We have each other, that's how we started our Journey together 38 years ago With nothing But Love, and dreams, now we are living A Dream, our Cat by the way is not a Luxury Cat, it's a 35 ft Racing Cruising cat, better suited for Weekend Sailing, probably, only has a Three foot ceiling when we are sitting or lying down in the Saloon area, and even less room when trying to sit up in our Bed in the two cabins, not enough hatches, But we make do, spending two seasons up here in the Tropics of Qld, has been a real test, for us, we have had our moments, but we Remain the best of Mates, So Proud of My Wife, Best cook, in our tiny Galley, only room for one.
Any way, unless you are fully committed to each other, and your kids need to be the same, then keep this journey as a dream.



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Old 06-03-2015, 20:57   #313
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Re: Why Do Cruising Couples Quit

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Old 07-03-2015, 00:24   #314
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Re: Why Do Cruising Couples Quit

I love your story, ShawnArbercat. The admiral and I hope to do what you are doing soon. We just sold our house and will be finishing up the dream boat soon and hope to be off.

We have a son who is off on his new adult life - we feel the same way about our parenting role. We have done our job. We have discussed the risks and will take what comes. Until age or infirmity bring too many limits we will go as far and long as we can.

The fact that the admiral and I are on the same page is a blessing. Oh, boy, we have our moments but are looking in the same direction at the same time. We have been married 32 years and she still wants to be in the same room with me. It is a puzzle.
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Old 07-03-2015, 08:06   #315
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Re: Why Do Cruising Couples Quit

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Life is about Living, and I have been Blessed with a Mate that just loves to be loved by myself and our kids
,



Quote:
We have each other, that's how we started our Journey together 38 years ago With nothing But Love, and dreams, now we are living A Dream,

Quote:
but we Remain the best of Mates, So Proud of My Wife, Best cook, in our tiny Galley, only room for one.
Wow....such an amazing relationship....like many I've read about here. Nothing but respect and admiration

Best of luck living your dream....

Jerry
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