Why Do Cruising Couples Quit

[nimblemotors]

Interesting, as I am thinking lately that driving is a more difficult chore than skippering a boat, and have been thinking RV travel might be best first,
and then do the boat thing, but have heard often it goes the other way.
You can 'just pull over' in a boat, just drop anchor, etc, in a car pull over into the oncoming lane is a bit more dangerous!

Originally Posted by k9medic

One of my slip mates just sold his boat. His in his late 60's and is still very healthy and active but he has come to the conclusion that he may not be so lucky over the next 10 years. They are planning on buying an RV to continue a nomadic lifestyle but when something breaks on the RV they can pull over and get some help.

[Cadence]

Originally Posted by nimblemotors

Interesting, as I am thinking lately that driving is a more difficult chore than skippering a boat, and have been thinking RV travel might be best first,
and then do the boat thing, but have heard often it goes the other way.
You can 'just pull over' in a boat, just drop anchor, etc, in a car pull over into the oncoming lane is a bit more dangerous!

We had a diesel pusher never again. With an RV you need to put up with all the jerks on the road. Finding an expensive place to stop is not like just dropping the hook. Your course is between two white lines.

When is the last time you had tons in a traffic jamb. Just my two cents.

[rourkeh]

Unrealistic expectations is probably the number one reason.
Lack of financial resources is number two.

There is a huge difference between sitting around planning for the " Dream ", getting all kinds of advice, (a lot of it from people who have never been there themselves), and the reality of living the day to day lifestyle. Also in all the years I have been living on boats I have met VERY FEW couples who do well 24 hours a day living together in a large walk in closet. From reading these forums I believe that a lot of people get an idea to do something and then search for others to affirm their idea or point of view no matter how wrong the premise was in the first place.

[bobofthenorth]

Maybe we're not legitimate "cruisers" but my wife and I moved into our converted bus 8 years ago and alternated between the boat and the bus for the last 4 years. We spent roughly 1/2 the year on land and the other half on the water and did it in 6 month chunks. Now we're ready to move to the next phase of our life adventure.

For us its all about time. Nobody knows how much time they have left. We have things that we want to do, places that we want to go to and we need to go to some of them while we are still fit enough for some physical exertion. We've had a wonderful time on the water and we will miss the boat. Just like we also miss the bus which went down the road a few weeks ago.

I tend to be resistant to change. Likely I would have been content to live out my life puttering around on the boat, going here and there, often to places I had been to before. And I would have been very happy with that. Fortunately I have a wife who occasionally bumps me out of my comfort zone. At the end of our lives all we have is our memories & we're going to have a boatload of memories.

[oldragbaggers]

Originally Posted by bobofthenorth

Maybe we're not legitimate "cruisers" but my wife and I moved into our converted bus 8 years ago and alternated between the boat and the bus for the last 4 years. We spent roughly 1/2 the year on land and the other half on the water and did it in 6 month chunks. Now we're ready to move to the next phase of our life adventure.

For us its all about time. Nobody knows how much time they have left. We have things that we want to do, places that we want to go to and we need to go to some of them while we are still fit enough for some physical exertion. We've had a wonderful time on the water and we will miss the boat. Just like we also miss the bus which went down the road a few weeks ago.

I tend to be resistant to change. Likely I would have been content to live out my life puttering around on the boat, going here and there, often to places I had been to before. And I would have been very happy with that. Fortunately I have a wife who occasionally bumps me out of my comfort zone. At the end of our lives all we have is our memories & we're going to have a boatload of memories.

Coming out of the comfort zone is great!! Unfortunately some people never learn to be comfortable outside their comfort zone. So, tell us, what is your next adventure?

[Cadence]

Originally Posted by bobofthenorth

Maybe we're not legitimate "cruisers" but my wife and I moved into our converted bus 8 years ago and alternated between the boat and the bus for the last 4 years. We spent roughly 1/2 the year on land and the other half on the water and did it in 6 month chunks. Now we're ready to move to the next phase of our life adventure.

For us its all about time. Nobody knows how much time they have left. We have things that we want to do, places that we want to go to and we need to go to some of them while we are still fit enough for some physical exertion. We've had a wonderful time on the water and we will miss the boat. Just like we also miss the bus which went down the road a few weeks ago.

I tend to be resistant to change. Likely I would have been content to live out my life puttering around on the boat, going here and there, often to places I had been to before. And I would have been very happy with that. Fortunately I have a wife who occasionally bumps me out of my comfort zone. At the end of our lives all we have is our memories & we're going to have a boatload of memories.

[sailorboy1]

Far as I know there hasn't been any ex-cruisers post in this thread.

But I would guess that unless it was caused by simply other than hate of boating/cruising that the odds they weren't be reading boating forums.

[RTB]

Originally Posted by rourkeh

Also in all the years I have been living on boats I have met VERY FEW couples who do well 24 hours a day living together in a large walk in closet. From reading these forums I believe that a lot of people get an idea to do something and then search for others to affirm their idea or point of view no matter how wrong the premise was in the first place.

No matter what we say here, new cruising couples will need to make their own adjustments. Just because our boat has remained a pretty happy place to be, there is absolutely no guarantee the same will be true for someone else. We met quite a number of long time cruising couples in Brunswick, Georgia. They were all comfortable with living and cruising on their boat. I guess we never met the failed ones, since the boat was sold, or for sale, and they were back on land. And, they are probably not visiting sailing forums most likely.

If we leave the boat for a few days or a week to visit family, we are always so happy to be back aboard once the trip is done. It works for us.

Ralph

[bobofthenorth]

Originally Posted by oldragbaggers

Coming out of the comfort zone is great!! Unfortunately some people never learn to be comfortable outside their comfort zone. So, tell us, what is your next adventure?

We have purchased a house in a small community in rural Saskatchewan but that's pretty boring. We've got a couple years of coastal cruising left in the Pacific NorthWet - at least one more trip to Alaska. Then we will replace the cruising boat with a diesel "caravan" of some description based in England. We want to tour all of Great Britain and then cross the channel for some European adventures.

At the same time we will acquire a small sportfisher with overnight capability. We already have a large pickup to drag that around with. We've got some wonderful northern lakes in SK as well as the Great Lakes in Manitoba/Ontario. We'll also use that boat as a trailer boat on the BC coast. We plan to spend extended periods of time in Europe/England from our home base in western Canada. We'll probably also do some snowbird trips into the southern US and Mexico.

The key for us is that we are each other's best friend. Small space living is never a problem although we do both need our own spaces at times.

[barnakiel]

I think this happens mostly when one partner (which often is the male) pushes to have things their way and DOES NOT listen.

Such people are a danger to their spouse/partner, to society, and to other sailors.

Going blind to anywhere is a first class ticket to nowhere.

And so they split and abandon.

So, in summary, I think most that abandon do so because of the split.

b.

[markpierce]

When small-boat ocean cruising becomes too much, there is the option of cruise ships such as the Queen Elizabeth here preparing to dock at the old cruise-ship terminal in San Francisco Feb. 7, 2015 (and escorted by a USCG cutter and tugs):

[downunder]

Originally Posted by markpierce

When small-boat ocean cruising becomes too much, there is the option of cruise ships such as the Queen Elizabeth here preparing to dock at the old cruise-ship terminal in San Francisco Feb. 7, 2015 (and escorted by a USCG cutter and tugs):

Just a small upgrade from your current ship, Mark.

[Saleen411]

Originally Posted by Hudson Force

I agree that the question has merit. Why couples divorce would be a legitimate question on a marriage forum and why couples quit cruising is a legitimate question on a cruising forum.

.....and it's not all "doom and gloom". Many have spoken of their end of cruising as a timely end with accomplishing their goals.

Well said Sir.

[4music3]

Originally Posted by Tetra

Over the next couple of years, the wife and I are going to begin our cruising life through seasonal cruising. Starting out, we'll limit our cruises to 3 months. Maybe even 2 months. We're going to ease into the lifestyle in little bites. This will leave the rest of the year for family events, (non-boat) travel, grandkids and community activities. We can increase our cruising time if/when we want.

I suspect that many cruising couples do just the opposite. They go all in and many marriages just can't handle that.

Yes for a couple that has had typical separate lives jobs etc. going all in selling the house is a big gamble . If you have had long hard adventures together it helps a lot - we joke that we usually need a vacation after our vacation (camping etc.)

Going smaller boat and keeping the house so that the time on the sea is finite and you can get on hard soil and re-group (make new plans to improve the next go)makes the most sense to make it last long term to me.

[Cheechako]

Why Do Cruising Couples Quit.......
That's easy....... Some keeps adjusting their dock lines!