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Old 08-02-2015, 12:45   #151
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Re: Why Do Cruising Couples Quit

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Originally Posted by Bulawayo View Post
This is really about detailing experiences and there is such a spectrum of thoughts and opinions that I am not sure we can really learn anything new.
I disagree. Maybe the old time cruisers who have been out there and are fully acquainted with the difficulties and challenges aren't going to learn anything new, but if one were a wannabe thinking to embark on this lifestyle I should think that all of the answers given in this thread regarding what can sabotage the cruising dream could give them a lot of things to think about.
  • Maybe this is one partner's dream and he/she is thinking the other will "eventually come around" even though every indication is that they really don't want to go.
  • Maybe they hadn't considered the magnitude of the maintenance and/or how it continues even with a new or rebuilt boat.
  • Maybe their relationship isn't all that solid on land and they are thinking the cruising lifestyle will "fix" it.
  • Maybe they haven't honestly dealt with how they going to react to being separated from their family (particularly grandchildren).
  • Maybe they are underestimating their financial needs.
  • Maybe they never considered that it could be boring.
.....or any of the other common reasons for failure brought up in this thread.

There are a lot of factors that can tend to get swept under the mental rug when a dream has a hold of you. Not that I would want to see anyone get a cold bucket of water in their face when it comes to their dreams....but embarking on such a huge life change with your head in the sand isn't a good way to start out either, even if that sand is beautifully located in a tropical paradise.

When we first moved aboard a boat back in 1985 we were living on a Newport 30, on a mooring, with a teenager. We didn't have refrigeration, no pressure or hot water, no onboard shower, no generator or solar panels. We cooked on a pressurized alcohol stove, used kerosene lamps, a kerosene cabin heater, and had an old wooden dinghy that leaked like a sieve. Showering was in the marina facilities. We both worked full time and our daughter was in school so everybody had someplace to be every day regardless of weather, whether we had been up all night because of a storm, or whatever other difficulty we might be dealing with. It wasn't easy and to be honest I don't think any of us were prepared for how uncomfortable and inconvenient it was going to be. Fortunately, we are a hardy bunch, we love being on the water and enjoy a challenge so we thrived in the lifestyle. We stayed on that boat for 3 years (although we moved into a slip after 6 months). But over the course of those years we knew plenty of people who ended up putting a lock on the companionway one day and walking away with a for sale sign showing up on the boat shortly after. It isn't for everyone and I think threads like this are valuable to give people things to examine about the lifestyle, their relationship, their commitment, and their expectations before they cut ties with land and commit themselves to something that will ultimately make them miserable.
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Old 08-02-2015, 12:50   #152
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Re: Why Do Cruising Couples Quit

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Full time Cruising is not natural.
99.999999999999 people live on terra firma.

I doesnt make it wrong or whatever, it just means that it takes a special set of people to do it, and ultimately it is not for their entire life.

.
Although I agree it takes a special set of people, "Not Natural"... hmmm. I visited these people who live on man made floating islands on Lake Titicaca. They've been doing it for centuries with goats, chickens, gardens etc. they moved there to evade Inca Tax collectors, might not seem natural to some.
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Old 08-02-2015, 12:57   #153
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Re: Why Do Cruising Couples Quit

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I was surprised by noticing your comment, "I for one shall not bother to continue reading about other peoples misfortune." Seeing this caused me to scan through the entire thread. I noticed that there were only two first hand accounts of couples quiting cruising out of these many posts. One was due to chronic sea sickness and the other was due to a financial crisis.

They were many conjectures about what might be the cause for "those" that quit and what "they" experience. Many cases of "we knew of couple that.....", but for those that actually read the thread, it's not a story of misfortune. Instead it's a testament of success.
You missed my parents getting to old. That was a success of 17 yrs. Grats on the, "We knew".
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Old 08-02-2015, 13:03   #154
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Re: Why Do Cruising Couples Quit

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Originally Posted by oldragbaggers View Post
.................

When we first moved aboard a boat back in .................
We didn't have refrigeration, no pressure or hot water, no onboard shower, no generator or solar panels. We cooked on a pressurized alcohol stove, used kerosene lamps, a kerosene cabin heater, and had an old wooden dinghy that leaked like a sieve. Showering was in the marina facilities. We both worked full time and our daughter was in school so everybody had someplace to be every day regardless of weather, whether we had been up all night because of a storm, or whatever other difficulty we might be dealing with. It wasn't easy and to be honest I don't think any of us were prepared for how uncomfortable and inconvenient it was going to be. Fortunately, we are a hardy bunch, we love being on the water and enjoy a challenge so we thrived in the lifestyle. We stayed on that boat ..............
Hey, We ARE you guys! Well, almost, - or you ARE us. We started on a 30' with the same lack of amenities, same stove, same kerosene, same dinghy, showering, weather, nights awake, etc. Our two children came later. Thanks for the memories!
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Old 08-02-2015, 13:05   #155
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Re: Why Do Cruising Couples Quit

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Originally Posted by jkindredpdx View Post
Although I agree it takes a special set of people, "Not Natural"... hmmm. I visited these people who live on man made floating islands on Lake Titicaca. They've been doing it for centuries with goats, chickens, gardens etc. they moved there to evade Inca Tax collectors, might not seem natural to some.
Not quite a boat is it? More like.... land?


and the other 99.99999999999% of humans?

I was waiting for someone to bring up this point....... I too have seen Asian communities living on the water...... But they dont go cruising and they spend time on the land to do their financial business.

It doesnt alter the figures does it?...... Even Noah moved off the ark

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Old 08-02-2015, 13:07   #156
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Re: Why Do Cruising Couples Quit

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ARE us. We started on a 30' with the same same stove, same kerosene, same dinghy,!
OK.. can I have the stove and the Dinghy?
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Old 08-02-2015, 13:13   #157
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Re: Why Do Cruising Couples Quit

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OK.. can I have the stove and the Dinghy?
You'll need to ask Oldragbaggers. I haven't seen them since 1973!
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Old 08-02-2015, 16:03   #158
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Re: Why Do Cruising Couples Quit

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You'll need to ask Oldragbaggers. I haven't seen them since 1973!
Hahaha.....ours are but a memory also.
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Old 08-02-2015, 16:07   #159
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Why Do Cruising Couples Quit

On the sea sick, we keep candied ginger onboard, ginger extra is even better.


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Old 09-02-2015, 06:06   #160
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Re: Why Do Cruising Couples Quit

I thought I posted this already but maybe not...

While I am far from being considered a cruiser, I do want to share what I think is a reason, if not the main reason.

I am 38 and in decent shape and health. When we "cruise" it is usually for 10-16 days at a time. During this time frame I can be assured that I will have to spend at least one of those days working on something on the boat. Our most recent trip had me in the engine room for 6 hours with an impeller issue. Just this weekend, I spent almost half a day tracking down an issue, and this is on a newer, well maintained boat (1998 model, most of this is preventative MX).

In another 20 years when I am 58, God willing, I will be able to do the same things I am doing now but add another ten years to that, at 68, and things are going to slow down.

Unfortunately, in my eyes, these are the prime cruising years when kids are grown, bills have been paid and you can return to the simpler things yet your body just wont respond or heal the way that they used to.

One of my slip mates just sold his boat. His in his late 60's and is still very healthy and active but he has come to the conclusion that he may not be so lucky over the next 10 years. They are planning on buying an RV to continue a nomadic lifestyle but when something breaks on the RV they can pull over and get some help.
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Old 09-02-2015, 06:29   #161
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Re: Why Do Cruising Couples Quit

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You missed my parents getting to old. That was a success of 17 yrs. Grats on the, "We knew".
You're right, of course; however, I didn't make myself clear. I was looking through the thread for first hand accounts of those that quit due to a misfortune. I didn't hesitate to consider "getting old" as a success.

My hope is to all the birthdays!
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Old 09-02-2015, 06:48   #162
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Re: Why Do Cruising Couples Quit

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Originally Posted by k9medic View Post
I thought I posted this already but maybe not...

While I am far from being considered a cruiser, I do want to share what I think is a reason, if not the main reason.

I am 38 and in decent shape and health. When we "cruise" it is usually for 10-16 days at a time. During this time frame I can be assured that I will have to spend at least one of those days working on something on the boat. Our most recent trip had me in the engine room for 6 hours with an impeller issue. Just this weekend, I spent almost half a day tracking down an issue, and this is on a newer, well maintained boat (1998 model, most of this is preventative MX).

In another 20 years when I am 58, God willing, I will be able to do the same things I am doing now but add another ten years to that, at 68, and things are going to slow down.

Unfortunately, in my eyes, these are the prime cruising years when kids are grown, bills have been paid and you can return to the simpler things yet your body just wont respond or heal the way that they used to.

One of my slip mates just sold his boat. His in his late 60's and is still very healthy and active but he has come to the conclusion that he may not be so lucky over the next 10 years. They are planning on buying an RV to continue a nomadic lifestyle but when something breaks on the RV they can pull over and get some help.

This was kinda funny. After reading this I guess I should have quit as a few others who have commented on this thread. I guess at 69 and just having 2 screws put in my shoulder and going thru pt to get ready for the sailing seaon this summermaybe i missed something.

Then again if I did quit I would miss sailing to Albania, Greece and Turkey this summer. Oh well some of just take a bit more learning than others.
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Old 09-02-2015, 06:57   #163
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Re: Why Do Cruising Couples Quit

Because its stressful . Skipper gets stressed , skipper gets grumpy, snappy , moans a lot , wifey holds back , skipper gets more grumpy = the end.
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Old 09-02-2015, 08:34   #164
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Re: Why Do Cruising Couples Quit

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This was kinda funny. After reading this I guess I should have quit as a few others who have commented on this thread. I guess at 69 and just having 2 screws put in my shoulder and going thru pt to get ready for the sailing seaon this summermaybe i missed something.

Then again if I did quit I would miss sailing to Albania, Greece and Turkey this summer. Oh well some of just take a bit more learning than others.
I'm not by any means suggesting that 68 (or 69) is too old, only that I can fully understand why some would not be up to the activity.

A few years back I met a guy in the Bahamas that left Miami on a 6 month trip that wound up taking 2.5 years since he and his wife were having so much fun cruising. He had just turned 80 but he looked as though he was in his 50's. He kept active both physically and mentally. He was the exception though.

A good friend of mine was very active up until he was 74. We were partners in an airplane together and he loved to fly. While traveling the countryside he wound up getting blood infection from a scratch on his leg. The infection got to his heart and he was lucky to survive. Now at 76 he just doesn't want to take the chance anymore.
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Old 09-02-2015, 09:10   #165
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Re: Why Do Cruising Couples Quit

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You're right, of course; however, I didn't make myself clear. I was looking through the thread for first hand accounts of those that quit due to a misfortune. I didn't hesitate to consider "getting old" as a success.

My hope is to all the birthdays!
It's not but such is life, just ask me, I am there.
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