What's the Best Pet on a Boat ?

[ADMPRTR]

Originally Posted by Boracay

Dogs must be fed...

I guess it is a race to determine who eats who first...At least you wouldn't have that problem with guinea pigs...

[LauderBoy]

Originally Posted by StringBimini

A a grey parrot of course.

I first read this as "gay parrot" and thought it was a pretty entertaining choice.

[Rayallyn]

I vote for a cat. In fact, I am looking for one now, but I want a Turkish Van. They love the water and swimming. They are also somewhat independent. Anyone know where I can get one?

[zeehag]

that'll learn 'im to leave 'em unattended for a time.....bet he doesnt do that again

[xymotic]

Originally Posted by LauderBoy

I first read this as "gay parrot" and thought it was a pretty entertaining choice.

Well who the hell wants a morose parrot?

[hummingway]

Originally Posted by xymotic

Well who the hell wants a morose parrot?

Another cracker? Well, I guess that's just about the way it goes but I'm not going to lie and say I want it.

[tropicalescape]

Originally Posted by Rayallyn

I vote for a cat. In fact, I am looking for one now, but I want a Turkish Van. They love the water and swimming. They are also somewhat independent. Anyone know where I can get one?

No but I know where you can get a Chevy Van..

[tropicalescape]

Originally Posted by hummingway

I talk to my boat. Actually I talk to myself a lot too. I also converse with porpoises as they swim by, birds that land on the boat or come close enough to be worth chatting up and upon occasion, floating logs.

No problem talking to yourself ..its when you start answering back that you should head back to shore..DVC

[ahnutts!]

Originally Posted by LauderBoy

I first read this as "gay parrot" and thought it was a pretty entertaining choice.

My birds not gay, he's a little messy but he makes up for that with personality.

[Amapola]

Definitely a cat. They adapt well and you don't have to take them to shore to do their business. I feel for those folks who have to take their sweet dogs to shore in a downpour.

[Nostrodamus]

So off this bloke leaps from his boat in his salmon pink trousers, lead in hand and attached to the end was a small ball of cat fluff with a leg at each corner and a face that could only have come from running into glass doors too many times. He was taking the dam thing for a walk along the pontoon when no doubt he had previously been in deep water with a plastic bag and something heavy aboard. I presume it was a compromise to the wife but surely there must have been ample opportunity along the way to slide his foot out and ten minutes after the splosh whisper “Fur ball overboard”. Ok he would waste another half hour going round in circles to appease the distraught wife but would it be worth it. Of course it would.

Let’s face it cats are a waste of perfectly good DNA that could be far better used on something more useful like grapes or hops and yeast. They won’t even chase a stick. Cats will usually be found skulking under stationary cars looking all innocent when in fact what they are doing is sawing through your brake pipes. Have a cat aboard your boat and anything that goes wrong is down to the hairy Ninja saboteur.

You never own a cat; they own you and they have got no concerns when it comes to selling you out at the first opportunity. Leave the critter alone on your boat and if “Billy the Burglar” in the stripped tee shirts and mask come calling what does the fur ball do? Shows its teeth or makes a noise, no, it either ignores them or shows them where you keep your prized possessions. Even if Billy does not come calling with his jemmy leave the fur ball alone for too long and it will be putting posters up and holding an open sale of your worldly goods.

Cats always think they know better than you, you can see it in their sly, scheming eyes. Do a little bit of maintenance here and there and although they are pretending to be totally disinterested, that one eye he has on you is thinking “That’s all wrong, it will never work”.

You can also tell a cat boat. It smells as if Grandma Mable’s has eaten the world’s supply of asparagus and her colostomy bag has emptied its contents in some dark recess you cannot quiet identify.

Now don’t get me wrong, I am a modern day man and can show my emotions. Just like the next man I like to stroke the occasional pussy but a cat as a companion on a boat! I would rather have Charles Manson in charge of sharpening the ship knifes whilst I slept soundly in my bed.

Now this has got me to thinking what pet would make a good cruising buddy?
A lot of people have dogs but come on. They just suck up to you at every opportunity they can. Paint it orange, put it in a ballerinas tutu and audition for “Britain’s got no talent” it will just let you without question and believe you are doing it for a good reason. If you sailed to the middle of the Pacific Ocean, kicked “Tiger” squarely in his landing gear and threw him overboard you know dam well that in a year or two he would turn up, wherever you are with bleeding paws and present is nether regions for another kick as he likes this game. They drool, slobber, leave hair everywhere, produce huge quantities of dog eggs for you to stand in and traipse everywhere. Ok they chase sticks but if you tossed a telegraph pole it would spend the next week or two trying to bring it back to you whilst proudly showing off his new tutu and paint job. Dog’s do however have one redeeming feature which in my book makes them ok. They hate cats. Oh and if you spell dog backwards you get a whole new discussion point.

So what is left as a pet for those surrounded by sea? It has got to be something that costs nothing to keep, is low maintenance and is useful. It doesn’t leave a lot really as Noah found out after his 40 days and 40 nights.
In my humble opinion that leave two things, the first being Freddie the tortoise. Now they are low maintenance and it takes them until two years on Monday to have a quick wonder round the decks. Thrown them an acorn and by the time they bring it back you have a fully grown tree oak complete with a tree house and a Polish family living in there. You can test paints on tortoise shells and in winter they make wonderful door stops or props for a wonky chair. The only problem is that a tortoise is just not for Christmas. They will live to Armageddon and probably beyond.

I other thing I have come up with as the ultimate crew member is Bob, the humble sponge. No, it doesn’t fetch sticks and in the faithfulness department it will stay by your side through thick and thin that is unless you move it. It won’t protect you from Billy burglar but it won’t collude with him or give your secrets away. It makes a pretty good listener and best of all will help you clean the boat even if its roll is pretty passive.

If pushed a cat could be dipped in a bucket of soapy water and rubbed over your gel coat but to save its Stanley knife claws from ripping you to shreds. This tends to defeat the object as the blood leakage gives you a pink boat and salmon pink trousers. Now isn’t this where we started?

[hummingway]

[Hannah on 'Rita T']

Here's Cap'n Morgan on passage, what more could anyone ask for:

[zeehag]

funny how my cat plays catch and fetch and is a good protector of his home.


cats only stink when their human doesnt keep clean the pan. with the newer littters, there is rarely any stink. yer a bit behind times, nossy. cats eyes only reflect the soul looking into them.
cats only tear things up when they are not happy,. like when they know htere is someone around who is afraid of em or dislikes em and when they dont have clean litter. then ye dont want to be around em. same exact manners as dogs. i have seen dogs tear up a place because they weren't kept company for a while....
men , on the other hand, are wonderful, am i correct--- they stand on board to pee, cannot hit a huge hole filled partway with water, and the boat smells like urine, as they cannot be bothered to clean after themselves.
so-- which is better--control freak human, control freak dog or control freak cat---i choose control freak cat at this point, as the one i have on board actually does great job of warning of things wrong and approaching people. i love a silent alarm.

[Don1500]

A Norwegian Blue Parrot

I also vote for a dog over a woman. Lock them both in the trunk of the car for an hour and see which one is glad to see you when you open it up.

But A Norwegian Blue Parrot is still the best, never a squwak, and no mess.