What Is the Dating Scene Like on the Water ?

[off-the-grid]

This really seems to be a recurring theme. And every time it comes up, a lot of people say meeting people locally is hard since most just look at them funny. Like I said in one of my earlier posts, threads like this often come up on scuba message boards too. Well there's actually at least 3-4 scuba dating sites.

So to ask a crazy question are there any dating sites for sailors/boaters, especially geared towards liveaboards and cruisers? I remember there was one or two a while ago, but only for specific local areas. There's also one or two for single sailors to find people to sail with, but not really a dating site. Otherwise, I did a little googling, but couldn't find anything.

Would a site like that be a good idea? Would people actually use it?

[anjou]

But Ocean Girl has a site like that. I think what your trying to grasp is the demographic.

One site is like any other, its not about the sites but the proportion of male to female members on it and the men account for the vast majority.

For those of you who have been on several regular dating sites, it comes as a disappointment to see the same old faces cropping up on different sites, all chasing the same quest.

Maybe scuba club is a better place to get lucky because its people to people not boat to boat. Its more hands on and personal.

[off-the-grid]

Actually she really doesn't. Not trying to discredit the work she's done, but there's a HUGE difference between a full featured dating site and a not very active section of a forum with about 10 members, I think 7 of them being male.

Not much different from the real world demographic, though. Just another avenue for potentially meeting more people. True about the disappointment...just in general of online dating, but maybe with a specialized site people would have more success? On a generic dating site you may find tons of people who like boats, sailing, the water, etc, but most are weekend warriors and even though they may share that interest with you, the idea of actually living on a boat or cruising is still a big stretch for them.

Funny you should mention clubs too. Speaking of similar threads on scuba sites. I saw an old post where someone said that they've been in the same dive club for 25 years. In that time they only know of 1 couple who's made it past more than a few dates. At the same time, he claims there are about 12 married couples in the club who met on line.

[anjou]

Alan and I met via a sailing dating site last summer. Before he contacted me, I had messages and invitations to sail from about a dozen other guys. Most were older than me and some were a lot older, one guy was over 80.
There were a lot of gorgeous looking girls on there. Younger, prettier and with realy well written profiles.
I asked all the guys the same question. Why me. They said, cos you sound real and genuine. Many of the other women were weekend warriors, day sailors, social scene queens, just wanting to be seen in the right place for the summer season.
None of them wanted to go offshore, live aboard, take rough weather with the sunshine etc.
In short, they said one thing but meant another.

To some men, its a lifestyle, to most women its a game, not taken seriously enough for a partnership to work out.

And even then, when you do meet someone with the same goals and initial attraction, you spend a lot of time together and find your not compatable. Thats the same in all walks of life, so its a numbers game except the demographic numbers for sailing singles are less conducive.

Sorry hunni, thats how it is I guess.

[off-the-grid]

Such a site REALLY does exist and you're holding out on me!!! Or are you talking about yet another localized site?

All very good points, but people do all those things on every dating site. At least with a specialized site you weed out some of the people who lie or exaggerate about things that aren't really interests. Someone who's a very casual sailor, diver, whatever, or who tried an activity one time is going to be much less likely to sign up for a specialized site.

Originally Posted by anjou

To some men, its a lifestyle, to most women its a game, not taken seriously enough for a partnership to work out.

If that's really true, then we're all screwed and it doesn't matter where you meet. Like you said it's about #'s and using the interenets simply ups your odds.

Originally Posted by anjou

And even then, when you do meet someone with the same goals and initial attraction, you spend a lot of time together and find your not compatable. Thats the same in all walks of life, so its a numbers game except the demographic numbers for sailing singles are less conducive.

True, but again the same no mater where you meet. If you don't share those goals, you're doomed from the beginning. See previous comment (aka: upping the odds)

Originally Posted by anjou

Sorry hunni, thats how it is I guess.

That's ok. I'm not even asking this to help with my quest to find an admiral as much as I'm throwing around the idea of making me a website.

[anjou]

Ok, the site I was on is lovesail dot com
Its a predominantly UK site but several other countries people were on there in small numbers. The greatest amount of non uk peeps were Americans.

Go take a peek. I wasnt holding out on you, the net is full of dating sites for every conceivable group.

[boatman61]

That's ok. I'm not even asking this to help with my quest to find an admiral as much as I'm throwing around the idea of making me a website.
__________________
My amp goes to 11. That's 1 louder.



And another Sailor disappears over the Virtual Horizon...
To become an Internet Junkie...

PS; Lovesail is up for sale for$800

[anjou]

Opppps
my mistake

lovesail dot co dot uk

I just noticed what you said about it being up for sale. As owner/webmaster I gues you get first pick of the girlies so it has its benefits.

[David_Old_Jersey]

Originally Posted by anjou

Maybe scuba club is a better place to get lucky because its people to people not boat to boat. Its more hands on and personal.

I suspect that the smell of Warm Rubber vs Wet Canvas may have something to do with the difference - if my Google searches reflect the "other" interests of folks. Not quite so many Wet Canvas afficienados on the internet

Originally Posted by grunzster

That's ok. I'm not even asking this to help with my quest to find an admiral as much as I'm throwing around the idea of making me a website.

My gut feeling is that the target group is just too small for a dedicated website if we are talking about folks for whom the life aquatic is the final destination. But if including those for whom a life aboard is merely intended as an experiance in life along a journey the net spreads wider......but really I think the website does also need to encompass the "weekend warrior" segment. or also simply those who can spell boat . on a good day simply to widen the net - after all, it may be the case that one of these folks has never even considered what is on offer and not that they wouldn't love to.........or that the sailor has not yet met the person for whom they would love to stay onshore ..........and besides, even the Flying Dutchman ain't gonna sign up to a dating website with only 3 other members. 2 felllas and a Goat

But I guess on the sailing dating malarky one has to decide whether the sailing part of life is really more important than the partner bit.........and accept the consequences of that decision...........no right answer on that one

FWIW I think Ocean Gal's Sociable Sailors Soul Group is a very nice addition to CF.com and for what it is works well - even if that is mainly a flag in yer profile saying "i'm free" Obviously no Wedding Cake to share yet, nor the patter of tiny Moderators but I live in hope..........

[off-the-grid]

Originally Posted by anjou

I wasnt holding out on you, the net is full of dating sites for every conceivable group.

That's normally true, but all the simpliest obvious domain names I'm not getting any hits for.

Originally Posted by anjou

As owner/webmaster I gues you get first pick of the girlies so it has its benefits.

Hmmm...not approve any new male memberships perhaps. HAHA!

Funny you mentioned same faces showing up earlier. The first thing I saw on lovesail was someone who I recognized from Living Aboard forum.

[anjou]

It sure is a small world eh?
Of all the dating sites in all the world and the same old faces keep showing up. What can be so amusing is you see two totally different profiles for the same person.
Details differ like age height etc.

Be carefull what you wish for.

[off-the-grid]

David - How about making the only requirement that all members must have at least one profile photo showing them on a boat?

Yeah you never know what's going to happen, life is full of surprises, and sometime you unexpectedly change you're mind, change directions, etc. Very good question. Which is more important sailing or finding the so called right one? Well, to quote myself, I'm open to the idea of moving back on land some day, but not until after some adventuring and only if it's someplace tropical and close to the water. Even if I met my dream girl, she sure as hell ain't gonna make me stay in NJ forever.

[Ex-Calif]

I'm not in the market, so to speak, but what I view even in our small community seems to work well.

Join an active club, buy a boat and race it in the club races, or get yourself involved in the beer can races by joining as crew. We try hard to involve non-boat owners anytime we have a spot on the boat. There are singles all the time.

Don't make the quest about meeting the next spouse. Make it about meeting people of like mind.

I'm not saying it is easy but I think you have a better chance finding a like minded mate on the water then you do in front of a computer.

[sailorboy1]

Guess I've lost touch with just rough it is being single!

[off-the-grid]

Originally Posted by anjou

It sure is a small world eh?
Of all the dating sites in all the world and the same old faces keep showing up. What can be so amusing is you see two totally different profiles for the same person.
Details differ like age height etc.

Be carefull what you wish for.

Or my favorite is when you run into them on facebook and it says they're not even single. Did I mention...turns out she lives right up the road from me

Originally Posted by Ex-Calif

Don't make the quest about meeting the next spouse. Make it about meeting people of like mind.

Agreed. That's why the goal for this summer is to just get out as much as possible, not just sailing, but plan on doing lots of diving off the boat this year too. Then to Florida before it gets cold again.