Cruisers Forum
 


Join CruisersForum Today

Reply
 
Thread Tools Rate Thread Display Modes
Old 23-07-2016, 10:04   #46
Registered User
 
Sailor647's Avatar

Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Hailing Port: Portland, Oregon
Boat: Norseman 400
Posts: 192
Re: Ugh, losing my patience

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sea Dreaming View Post

You say your gf finances bother you because she has not been honest.

But "Responsible" means a lot of things to people but it would be hard to be honest with someone if you feel you cant realistically measure up.
You know this how? lolololol Just kidding.
__________________

__________________
Sailor647 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 23-07-2016, 10:08   #47
Registered User

Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: Annapolis, Md.
Boat: Albin 36 Express Trawler
Posts: 38
Re: Ugh, losing my patience

I don't blame you for losing your patience, or at least being very, very frustrated. Whether this is Sociology 101 or not, I WOULD NEVER link up with a person who was dishonest about their finances, especially if you have been together two years. It says so much about the person's integrity and trustworthiness.

It's also the timing, like she was hoping you wouldn't find out. If you go ahead and "partner" with her on the boat, all the money you have in the world won't make up for the resentment you will feel.

Vicki
__________________

__________________
vlathom is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 23-07-2016, 10:17   #48
Registered User
 
Sea Dreaming's Avatar

Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: Whoo! Finally made it back to Mexico!
Boat: Cheoy Lee Offshore 38
Posts: 1,450
Re: Ugh, losing my patience

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sailor647 View Post
You know this how? lolololol Just kidding.
No wonder your boat is "Shameless"
__________________
If toast always lands butter side down, and cats always land on their feet, what would happen if you strapped toast to a cat's back and dropped it? - Steven Wright
Sea Dreaming is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 23-07-2016, 10:39   #49
Registered User
 
Manos1955's Avatar

Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Thessalonki Greece
Boat: Westerly Centaur 26
Posts: 153
Send a message via Skype™ to Manos1955
Re: Ugh, losing my patience

Sell your house now and regret for the price later drinking margaritas on a Caribbean beach
Try to think the Italian way for your gf It means you should pay and pay again and always. If she is cheating on you either separate or kill the guy she is cheating you with
Italian way Always involves drama
Before you do anything of what are you planning to do charter and live aboard a sailboat for couple of months
Good luck
__________________
Manos1955 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 23-07-2016, 10:59   #50
Registered User

Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: Alameda, CA
Boat: Lancer 44' motorsailer
Posts: 44
Images: 4
Re: Ugh, losing my patience

Quote:
Originally Posted by mr336 View Post
+1. . .
Ditto
__________________
skwanderer is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 23-07-2016, 11:10   #51
Registered User

Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: Cape Coral, FL
Boat: Westerly, Corsair, 36
Posts: 19
Images: 3
Re: Ugh, losing my patience

I usually don't click on posts with such vague titles (that's my pet peeve), so I must have been bored today. I can't comment on everything mentioned, as my own track record in life and love isn't the best, but I am a professional real estate person in SW Florida.

It's always about price. At the right price, your house will sell. For example, if you lowered it to 200K there would likely be an offer today. Yes, eventually someone may come along and see the same value in the house that you do, but over time that becomes less likely. It's important to take the emotion out of it and see your house as a product in the market place. Then decide what's most important to you, getting what you feel you deserve and keeping the house until that may or may not happen, or just selling the house for less. There are no bad decisions, just choices. Which ever is best for you at this point in time. Keep in mint though, what another poster said about eventually selling it for less than the first offer you refused. That's generally what happens if you're committed to sell.

From reading your post, I would surmise that you're not really ready to jump into something new, because things in your past are not complete. Many business owners who sell end up going back to work for the new owners to get things straight. It's better to walk away free and clear, knowing you did the right thing for your business and employees who trusted in you all those years. Why not propose a one year contract with the new owners and set benchmarks. Take the house off the market for the year, fix the company as best you can and work on resolving all the emotional difficulties you're going through. It's easy to sell off your belongings and get on a boat, compared to the hard work of reducing the other baggage that's inside of us.
__________________
Kismet36 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 23-07-2016, 11:56   #52
Registered User

Join Date: Feb 2016
Posts: 114
Re: Ugh, losing my patience

You asked advice so here it is. You got what you considered a low ball offer. If it takes a year to even get another offer, how much are you going to spend to pay for and maintain the home in the interim? Is the difference worth the wait? If yes, then counter (did you do that anyway?). Are you sure you are realistic in your expectations? Too many of us put a higher value on property value than what the market will bare leading to failed opportunities to sale and sail. As far as the girlfriend, that is a personal choice. My thoughts, if you are willing to pay off her debts - no strings attached but don't, you know how you really feel. If not, it is none of your business what she does. If she shared her financials with you, she either trusts and respects you or she is trying to manipulate you - you need to figure that out. And the car lease, she quite possibly thinks you are just pipe dreaming - actually going nowhere. In reality, it may cost a little but buying out of a lease is not too complicated, and easier than having just contracted to buy a new car and selling it (both are loss situations but leasing less so). If you really care about keeping your relationship together, it is time now to talk about what is vs what might be, plan together or separate. If you are both realistically planning, plan together and know exactly what you are doing. Reality isn't a game and dreaming is. It will be hard enough to make things work in the cruising lifestyle but not being on the same page from the get go makes it impossible.
__________________
bruce v is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 23-07-2016, 12:13   #53
Registered User

Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Seattle
Boat: Horstmar 38 Trimaran
Posts: 29
Images: 6
Re: Ugh, losing my patience

Dear ol1970, I have read through the posts and the most important thing is you have your health, and enough money to make your dream happen. Cruising will give you the great feeling you got on your foreign trips. You have taken classes, done some longer trips, so go. Suggested from someone who waited a little too long.
Like you sold we our business, like you, at 53 semi-retired running our real-estate and traveled the world with my wife. We had wanted to buy a boat so we took all the power squadron classes and then bought a wonderful 1997 tri-star Trimaran 5 years ago,and upgraded all the systems. We have sailed a lot around the greater puget sound but we wanted to wander the inside passage to Alaska for 4 months. Then at 63 I got hit with heart problems a year ago. Don't wait if you have your health, go.
Post script- Just was listed for a heart transplant at University of Washington. Once that adventure is over we are heading to Alaska the following May. Nice to have goals, and a wonderful wife of 42 years to sail with.
__________________
Puget Dan is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 23-07-2016, 12:41   #54
Registered User
 
nic26's Avatar

Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Malta
Boat: Nicholson 26
Posts: 60
Send a message via Skype™ to nic26
Re: Ugh, losing my patience

Re GF have a listen on anearformen.com and get info to think about

Nic
__________________
nic26 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 23-07-2016, 12:46   #55
Registered User

Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: fl- various marinas
Boat: morgan O/I 33' sloop
Posts: 1,008
Re: Ugh, losing my patience

Time to get real. Don't like the offers on the house, so reject them and plan on an extended wait. GF misled you? Accept it or dump her. Did you ever think about her position if you dump her or drop dead in a few years? No job, no money, no home but she's under 50! As for the boat, it is a no brainer. Buy something cheap that you are comfortable single handing. Live on it for a while. Learn if you like the rather cramped live aboard life and what you want in a boat. Putting a lot of money down and sailing into the sunset is a kid's dream. Grow up, you didn't build your business by being delusional As for your former employees you either owe them or you don't. If the latter then sympathize and move on. Its time to end the pity party and develop a realistic plan.!
__________________
Dave22q is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 23-07-2016, 13:29   #56
Registered User
 
TomLewis's Avatar

Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Beaufort SC Atlanta Ga
Boat: Pearson 36-2, Pearson 26 'annapolis'
Posts: 193
Re: Ugh, losing my patience

Quote:
Originally Posted by mr336 View Post
+1. . .
+2...
__________________
TomLewis is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 23-07-2016, 13:31   #57
Registered User

Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Chesapeake Bay
Posts: 29
Re: Ugh, losing my patience

Quote:
Originally Posted by savoir View Post
Rent out your house

Leave town alone

Next patient nurse !

Now - this is a man with wisdom. Keep curing them!
__________________
Hardhead is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 23-07-2016, 14:07   #58
Long Range Cruiser
 
MarkJ's Avatar

Cruisers Forum Supporter

Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Australian living on "Sea Life" currently in England.
Boat: Beneteau 393 "Sea Life"
Posts: 12,828
Images: 25
Re: Ugh, losing my patience

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kismet36 View Post
I usually don't click on posts with such vague titles (that's my pet peeve), s.
Yep, i agree.

Come on guys. Fill in the subject box with intelligence.
__________________
Notes on a Circumnavigation.
OurLifeAtSea.com

Somalia Pirates and our Convoy
MarkJ is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 23-07-2016, 15:18   #59
Registered User

Join Date: May 2009
Boat: Kiriť Feeling 446
Posts: 130
Re: Ugh, losing my patience

Quote:
Originally Posted by S/V Illusion View Post
There is no correlation between taking a few courses and knowing what the cruising, live aboard lifestyle entails. With all due respect, your other issues are background noise drama having nothing to do with the fundamental problem you seem to dismiss.
You know, I retired in 1995 and nave been living abord in the Caribbean ever since. For the past 12 years I have single handled. That's right she left. Living as a couple on whatever size boat is a challenge.

I have been writing for many years in a Quebec periodical about retiring aboard. My last title translates to "Leaving alone". Should you? Not easy to answer. Sailing single handed is not simple. It is demanding and you must be experienced. But yes it is done frequently. Living alone can be just as difficult, if in a very different way.

Savoir put it very clearly and simply, he is absolutely right. Get the knowledge if you haven't sailed alone. Get experienced crew to help with the first passages. Set your mind to it and go!

I'll be 78 in less than a month a I still single-hand my 45 foot sailboat. Yes you can. Is it fun? Why else would I still be here?
__________________
SaltyTanned is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 23-07-2016, 15:28   #60
Registered User

Join Date: May 2016
Location: mackay, queensland. australia
Boat: e.a jack (builder), g.l watson (designer), 6.2 mtr wll sailboat
Posts: 482
Re: Ugh, losing my patience

offer to swap / your house for boat/trade gf in the deal
__________________

__________________
knockabout is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Tags
enc

Thread Tools
Display Modes Rate This Thread
Rate This Thread:

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Patience Cap Erict3 The Sailor's Confessional 4 13-12-2015 18:48
Transducer Confusion for e7D. Ugh! SS Little-Devil Marine Electronics 19 16-01-2014 16:45
Catamaran Company's New Specs Page - Ugh ! Sand crab Multihull Sailboats 11 11-08-2011 16:53
Patience and wisdom Bill Burgette Off Topic Forum 4 07-12-2008 10:31
Trials and Tribulations for today... ugh drh1965 Engines and Propulsion Systems 14 24-09-2007 11:51


Our Communities

Our communities encompass many different hobbies and interests, but each one is built on friendly, intelligent membership.

» More about our Communities

Automotive Communities

Our Automotive communities encompass many different makes and models. From U.S. domestics to European Saloons.

» More about our Automotive Communities

Marine Communities

Our Marine websites focus on Cruising and Sailing Vessels, including forums and the largest cruising Wiki project on the web today.

» More about our Marine Communities


Copyright 2002- Social Knowledge, LLC All Rights Reserved.

All times are GMT -7. The time now is 23:42.


Google+
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Social Knowledge Networks
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.

ShowCase vBulletin Plugins by Drive Thru Online, Inc.