Time Keeps Slipping Away...

[daletournier]

Originally Posted by scarlet

I appreciate the commiserating. Doesn't it just amazing you that a lot of people don't wait till they get everything in place. Like our friends who orders a $750,000 boat at a boat show, never having sailed.. then immediately, upon receiving their boat, took off... no experience.. not a care in the world... and, (we believe). And they aren't independently wealthy. The husband did the same job as mine did in the Air Force.. and, unlike me, his wife NEVER worked... we could NEVER afford that... But, they don't care... they just did it. it amazes me. But, I'm a "play by the rules" sort of girl.. type A... sempre paratus. Always prepared...

If you wait for all the lights to be green you never go. Its just the way it is,no perfect time,theres always a reason to delay.

[SV Bacchus]

Originally Posted by scarlet

OH... and to hijack my own thread... I love your avatar!!

Ha, thanks! There is a sailing family on YouTube named Catalpa, they are from Australia. The son is quite the little artist, I watched him do a few drawings on several episodes.

I contacted them, explained my 'vision' for what Bacchus probably looked like and the avatar you see is what he sent me!

The kid could make a living with his art.

[SV Bacchus]

Originally Posted by Attikos

So do I. Makes you want to go sailing with him, don't it?

C'Mon, let's go!

[2big2small]

I’m not the most tactful kind of guy but I mean well so please bear in mind that what I write below is with the intention to help and forgive me my clumsy ways.

The gist of what I want to say is that you can always leave everything and go, always. I understand that some things may pull back very hard, such as having to take care of loved ones. Or sometimes it may seem irrational not to wait the extra couple of years to get the full pension or what not, but ultimately it’s not about being reasonable, it’s about following your heart.

I was the most rational person before setting off on my first boat. But I ended up blowing up all bridges (not family ties) including my career and any security for a financial safety net for my old age and I haven’t regretted it one bit.

At some point you just have to go, make do with whatever will make it work. You don’t need a cat. A 36’ mono at $50k will take you around the world too and will probably end up being more fun. Too small? A 50’ mono at 150k is still way cheaper than a cat and provides you with all the comfort of a condo.

And as soon as you’ve left the US, your $1,200 in meds will only cost you $200 anymore.

What I want to bring across is you have to change your mentality and settle for imperfection and go with the flow. You don’t need the perfect boat and the perfect circumstances. You don’t need control over all aspects. It’s just holding you back. Let go and surrender, and live. You’ll keep fixing and adjusting everything along the way. It’s what you’ll end up doing anyway even if you thought you were in full control.

[daletournier]

Originally Posted by 2big2small

I’m not the most tactful kind of guy but I mean well so please bear in mind that what I write below is with the intention to help and forgive me my clumsy ways.

The gist of what I want to say is that you can always leave everything and go, always. I understand that some things may pull back very hard, such as having to take care of loved ones. Or sometimes it may seem irrational not to wait the extra couple of years to get the full pension or what not, but ultimately it’s not about being reasonable, it’s about following your heart.

I was the most rational person before setting off on my first boat. But I ended up blowing up all bridges (not family ties) including my career and any security for a financial safety net for my old age and I haven’t regretted it one bit.

At some point you just have to go, make do with whatever will make it work. You don’t need a cat. A 36’ mono at $50k will take you around the world too and will probably end up being more fun. Too small? A 50’ mono at 150k is still way cheaper than a cat and provides you with all the comfort of a condo.

And as soon as you’ve left the US, your $1,200 in meds will only cost you $200 anymore.

What I want to bring across is you have to change your mentality and settle for imperfection and go with the flow. You don’t need the perfect boat and the perfect circumstances. You don’t need control over all aspects. It’s just holding you back. Let go and surrender, and live. You’ll keep fixing and adjusting everything along the way. It’s what you’ll end up doing anyway even if you thought you were in full control.

Well said.

The don't need a big cat is a very valid point. I'm on a 48ft mono, purchased for considerably less than a big cat, I'm envious of the Lagoon 57 next to me at the moment BUT I was just as happy on my Freedom 32 as I am now on my current boat, or would be on that big cat.

Given the choice of which boat, I'd choose the big cat, given the choice between gambling time or a smaller boat, I'd choose the smaller boat everytime.

[scarlet]

Originally Posted by gamayun

Scarlett, please don't think this as harsh or overly simple, but do try to stop living through others. Every day you think about what they are doing is a day you've lost to another person's so-called dream. So life didn't go as planned. We'll, you know, that's life, right? I get it. My plan was to leave at 50. That was 3 years ago. Things are not yet ready and that's OK because I'm having a blast doing other stuff in the meantime. There is enjoyment in the day to day and working toward your own "set sail" day. If you put an exact date on it, however, it will likely make you miserable. I hope that helps put things more in perspective

Beautifully said.. I needed to hear that. I guess it's not so much living through others, although you are right, that is a big part of it. I think, if I got to the heart of it, I find myself wondering, what the HECK I'm doing wrong?? We live very conservatively... we have learned 20+ years ago, to live beneath our means so we could save aggressively (we save more than 50% of our income... ) and we are still so far away from goal.

But, I am going to take your advice and start living my life in the mean time. I really feel like I've put my life on hold, waiting to be able to go. There is a lot to enjoy here... I live in a new, beautiful, and friendly town... have friends, hobbies... etc..

Thanks again, for showing me a bit of reality.

[scarlet]

Originally Posted by Jim Cate

Hi Scarlet,
On a specific note (and this is contrary to what I keep reading here on CF) chartering to "keep the dream alive" when finances are one of t he anchors that keep you from leaving is really counter productive. As you have noted, it consumes considerable chunks of "kitty" money, and it is (again IMO) poor preparation for the realities of cruising. You get none of the hard work of boat maintenance, provisioning and preparation. You get everything gift wrapped and easy, and there is always someone near the base radio to respond to issues. There are rules about how you use the boat, things like no night time navigation, limits of where you can go, planned itineraries and radio checks to be sure that you are not straying from the pack. This isn't good preparation for when YOU must do all of those things and make all of the decisions yourself. So, save those dollars for the real dream, not a simulacrum of it... and get going sooner.

See... I agree with you about the money. And for us it is definitely NOT about "keeping the dream alive". In our case, it is truly about getting more advanced sailing experience. We are still "advanced beginners". We did your ASA certifications in Fort Lauderdale, so we got ocean water training with a very qualified teacher, and a crew of 4... so, very supervised. We recently went on our first charter. We went with a couple. The wife had really good sailing experience.. the husband was EXTREMELY experienced. We spent our sailing time learning helming... sail trim.. we anchored and moored for the first time.. had practice docking, navigating... tacking, gybing. This took our sailing up a big step. (remember, we sail a small sailboat... on an inland lake... very simple sail plan, and we've never been out long enough to even anchor.. )

This month we are doing our very first charter on Lake Huron. another HUGE step forward for us on bigger water. Our main goal is getting more sailing experience. So, as you can see, it's not about "keeping the dream alive". But, again.. it's a HUGE cost. Is the educational benefit (which is huge) more important than keeping our money (also HUGE)? I can honestly say that I am so torn... And you made some wonderful points.

[scarlet]

Originally Posted by 2big2small

I’m not the most tactful kind of guy but I mean well so please bear in mind that what I write below is with the intention to help and forgive me my clumsy ways.

T

I actually love it when people are just honest.. so, I appreciate it. We are also looking at monohulls. Our full dream includes a catamaran, but will consider the right monohull. I keep my eyes open for both. I agree with you in that we will have to make some compromise. I think that if we bought a smaller sailboat, we could go now. So, big decisions.. go now in a smaller mono.. or wait another 2 years, and get our dream boat.

Not an easy decision for me.

[dwedeking2]

Originally Posted by scarlet

I find myself wondering, what the HECK I'm doing wrong??

I run this through my head all the time. The answer is usually 2 things.



The first, I'm trying to hard. I'm trying to make things too perfect. I've not scaled down my "needs" far enough and am letting my "wants" to take over. Lifestyle can always be made simpler (until you're in a shopping cart under the bridge, then you've simplified a little too far...).



The 2nd is probably more of a personal observation on my end, especially after watching some young "kids" video of them sailing in the islands. I think "I work hard, I sacrifice, but I'm stuck at the dock". I fix this by realizing that life doesn't give you anything. You pays your money and takes your chances, leave now (unprepared boat wise, cash wise) and enjoy what (it seems like) everyone is doing, or wait until everything's perfect and hope you have enough time left to do it. Reality is somewhere in between.



I moved my boat from Ft Myers to Jacksonville a week after Irma came through (and with another hurricane following the next week). It had to be moved (yard was done with the work and wanted the boat gone so they could focus on Irma recovery) and I literally walked onto the boat, fired up the engine and left the harbor. By the time I had gotten to Miami all systems had shut down. That was the day I learned that I really owned a sailboat. I also learned how little you really "need" to go from point A to point B. My plan is to be better prepared than that, but I now know I could take off with very little. Just that knowledge makes for less stress.

[scarlet]

Originally Posted by daletournier

Well said.

The don't need a big cat is a very valid point. I'm on a 48ft mono, purchased for considerably less than a big cat, I'm envious of the Lagoon 57 next to me at the moment BUT I was just as happy on my Freedom 32 as I am now on my current boat, or would be on that big cat.

Given the choice of which boat, I'd choose the big cat, given the choice between gambling time or a smaller boat, I'd choose the smaller boat everytime.

Oh my gosh!!! lol... definitely NOT looking at a 57 ft!!! more like under 40'. They are much cheaper if you can stay under 40'.. the price drops considerably...

[aquadreams]

Scarlet,


If it helps at all, my approach is to remember that I'm on my own timetable and plan, not someone else's. So figure out what timetable is best for you and work to that. There will be plenty of folks here saying you need to go now. Figure out your own timeline.



Everyone is different in terms of amount of planning they're comfortable with. It's a tradeoff. You can go now ready or not, and risk running out of funds for the lifestyle you want later in life. Or you can delay going until you have x ready and risk never leaving for health or other reasons.



For me, I want to be sure to go while I still have 5-10 years of physical health and capability. I'm betting on knowing when that is. And I'm trading that against working long enough so that I'm financially set and won't have to return to work once I'm retired. My choice, my plan. I ignore the cacophony here who will argue to no end that I'm wrong.




Happy sails, and create your own wake,
Joe

[Larry Florida]

Originally Posted by scarlet

I appreciate the commiserating. Doesn't it just amazing you that a lot of people don't wait till they get everything in place. Like our friends who orders a $750,000 boat at a boat show, never having sailed.. then immediately, upon receiving their boat, took off... no experience.. not a care in the world... and, (we believe). And they aren't independently wealthy. The husband did the same job as mine did in the Air Force.. and, unlike me, his wife NEVER worked... we could NEVER afford that... But, they don't care... they just did it. it amazes me. But, I'm a "play by the rules" sort of girl.. type A... sempre paratus. Always prepared...

What was it that allowed them to sail off while you watched? Bigger savers?

Frankly speaking $750,000 is a foolish layout for someone who never sailed, unless 750k is play money. Could easily have been done for 10-20% of that.

[scarlet]

Originally Posted by Larry Florida

What was it that allowed them to sail off while you watched? Bigger savers?

Frankly speaking $750,000 is a foolish layout for someone who never sailed, unless 750k is play money. Could easily have been done for 10-20% of that.

I can't imagine they were bigger savers. They had a house that cost twice as much as ours... a plane... his wife didn't work.. he was the same rank as my husband, so we obviously knew what they made. He has children from a previous marriage that he is supporting, including one with special needs. The only thing I can think of is that they maybe inherited a bunch? None of my business though, I suppose.

And I agree about the $750,000. They bought a Helia, and at the time, I showed them a GORGEOUS Helia that was in South Carolina.. loaded. It was owned by an older woman, who was able to hire a crew to take her everywhere, and was impeccably maintained... and it was $250,000 less!!! But, they thought they made the better decision. (and then took it out of charter in less than a year....

My husband and I have lived our life so conservatively... and by the rules. This whole "buying a boat and cruising the world" idea shocked our entire family. It was SOOO outside our box. They really thought we had completely lost our minds. I guess we just want a wonderful adventure after working hard our entire lives.... I'm so looking forward to it.

[Saleen411]

Originally Posted by scarlet

I can't imagine they were bigger savers. They had a house that cost twice as much as ours... a plane... his wife didn't work.. he was the same rank as my husband, so we obviously knew what they made. He has children from a previous marriage that he is supporting, including one with special needs. The only thing I can think of is that they maybe inherited a bunch? None of my business though, I suppose.

Soooo many of my friends have inherited $$$$$......Heck, here in the Bay Area, just inheriting the parent's paid for house equals a million bucks and likely a whole lot more. Easy to buy a boat and go cruising with that kind of dough.

The rest of us have to make money the old fashion way....work and save like mad. Just like you're doing.

I just read that the average 55-60 year old American only has aprox 160K saved for retirement.THAT shocked me if true. The TOP 1% supposedly have at least a million.

I wish you luck in achieving your goals.....you're still young.....you'll get there..

[Larry Florida]

You can do this with a 50 to 100k boat budget. Don't know about cats, start off with a mono - that's real sailing!