sos wife takes new baby off boat

[morgan331970]

I AM LOOKING FOR HELP,MY NEW BABY GIRL IS GOING TO LAND.GIRLFRIEND & I HAVE A NEW 1 MONTH OLD NOW SHE DOES NOT LIKE THE 33 MORGAN OUT ISLAND WE HAVE LIVED ON FOR TWO YEARS.SHE SAID (HATES) BEING ON BOAT AND WANTS TO RUN BACK TO TENNESSEE.I GO TO WORK COME HOME DONT DRINK NO DRUGS NO OTHER GIRLS.I JUST DONT UNDERSTAND HOW TO SAVE A OVERBOARD CHILD FROM BEING TAKEN OFF A LOVE OF THE SEA.

[Target9000]

PERHAPS YOUR PROBLEM IS THAT YOU ARE ALWAYS SHOUTING. (It is poor form to type in all caps in the forum.)

Seems like you and the mother of your child need to sit down and have a heart to heart about how you want to raise your daughter. She has just as much right to want the kid to be raised on land as you have wanting her to be raised on the sea. Perhaps you can work out an amicable solution.

[rw58ph]

The female is usually the first person to move off a boat. I agree a boat is no the best safest place for a new born. Also new mothers needs a support group/person, to help her take care of the new born, as her emotions/live settle down. If she does not have a support group/person, it’s not surprising she is move back to her family.

There is an old saying that is very true. A daughter is a daughter her entire live, a son is a son until he takes a wife. The bond between a mother and daughter are very strong and hard to brake.


So do what is best for your SO and new child. You might be able to salvage to at least offering to move back to shore and being there for support. Which means to make more time available for her and take over most of the pink duties. Many times the best us fathers can do is offer support.

[Cheechako]

New family, nesting urge, mother wants a nice stable nest to raise the offspring. Often just the way it is... sorry to say.

[atoll]

winter on a cold, damp ,small boat,can't really blame her.......the childs health comes first in a mothers eyes

[morgan331970]

All of you have very good insight and this is why I posted on here,I looked for help from others but unless you have a love of the sea like us you just dont unstand.thank you each and every one for the timen this matter,I will keep looking at this post for other insight and welcome all good and bad input to help this old salt along this course.

[OutOfControl]

DLTCDHYITAOTWO

[atoll]

Originally Posted by morgan331970

All of you have very good insight and this is why I posted on here,I looked for help from others but unless you have a love of the sea like us you just dont unstand.thank you each and every one for the timen this matter,I will keep looking at this post for other insight and welcome all good and bad input to help this old salt along this course.

the best thing you could do is support her and respect her decision,hard as it may be,once the winter is over,and the child is a little bit older,then re-evaluate your lives together.

in the mean time you both need to focus on that 1 month old bundle of joy,and both make sacrifices,don't become estranged over an ideal,the reality is a small boat is not the best place for a newborn.

talk and support her ,then she may come back

[sailorboy1]

This isn't really a boating problem.

It is a communication, relationship, and life goal problem. And it started WAY before the girlfriend ran off with the baby.

[Tymadman]

Firstly, congratulations on your baby!

You will have years to get your child acquainted with the sea and sailing. Do you remember what you did as a baby or toddler? I doubt it, and that will be true for your child too.

[Bestathook]

Birth changes a way a woman looks at the world.

A new mother will focus on dangers, and how to preserve her baby from it. It is part of her nature. She has limited choice in the matter.

By the second child, it often has calmed down. What to do until then is the problem.

I would go to her. Appearance of choosing the boat over her and the baby can do irreversible damage. The joys of raising a child are one of life's greatest.

Tend that baby, doing everything, the same as she does. You will see what she is facing, and at the same time figure out what needs a baby brings, and how to meet them onboard.

A new mother is in a state of change, and she may not be sure where she is going. Help her, take care of her, and see if her love of boats was real, or just a woman's tendency to please her man.

I have had children and they are small a very short time. There will always be more boats. Later, when you are on a long, night time watch, you will feel much better knowing you took good care of your child, regardless of her mother's choices. That is part of being a real man.

[JPA Cate]

"I am looking for help, my new baby girl is going to land. Girlfriend and I have a new 1 month old. Now, she does not like the 33 Morgan Out Island we have lived on for two years.

She said she hates being on the boat and wants to go back to Tennessee. I go to work, come home, don't drink, no drugs, no other girls. I just don't understand how to save an overboard child from being taken off. A Love of the Sea." Apologies for light editing.

I'll accept your allegation that you want help, but honestly, you sound kind of panicked to me. That makes me wonder what has your girlfriend been saying to you that you haven't really taken in?

It sounds to me that perhaps both of you are feeling overwhelmed by the situation. Does your girlfriend have sole care-taking responsibility for your daughter? How much sleep is she getting? If you are working, who (if anyone) is helping her with the baby? Perhaps what she really "hates" is feeling overwhelmed and exhausted? Is there a visiting nurse service in your area? Are there newborn groups she could participate in with new moms? What extra resources can you put in to the situation now?

These first three months or so are pretty demanding. Have you asked your good lady how you can best help? That's often a good starting place.

Good luck with it.

Ann

[Katiusha]

Our daughter is 14 months and I still shift back and forth on whether I can handle living with her on the boat.

Your girlfriend most likely needs a support group/person who she can talk with, who can help when needed (do you help her when you come back from work?), who can help with getting on and off the boat with a tiny baby, and (if the baby is so young, then your fiancé is not yet used to tending to baby's needs 24/7) time off to relax. Depending on how her labour went, she may be still hurting too. Try to understand her.

Your baby won't realise where she is for at least another few months. Spend this time with your girlfriend to figure out how to make this work with the baby. Before it was two of you living on the boat. Now it's three. You need to adjust.

[Teknav]

I concur with some of the posts above. It is way too much work for one person to care for a newborn. She needs dependent regular assistance and quality sleep to regain her energy; ever heard of Postpartum Depression? The boat is not really the issue. People go crazy without uninterrupted sleep. You really need to address this primary issue. Good luck!

Mauritz
Knows everything about kids; that's why I never had any!

[Rakuflames]

Originally Posted by Teknav

I concur with some of the posts above. It is way too much work for one person to care for a newborn. She needs dependent regular assistance and quality sleep to regain her energy; ever heard of Postpartum Depression? The boat is not really the issue. People go crazy without uninterrupted sleep. You really need to address this primary issue. Good luck!

Mauritz
Knows everything about kids; that's why I never had any!

Lack of sleep aggravates depression. There is no woman completely safe from PPD.

Not only does she have to take care of this little wonder, but for her own mental health she needs occasional time away. How will that happen at sea? Well, it can't.