Social aspects of cruising and living-aboard

[pdjb]

just go to crew wanted and post woman to sail on boat....and take it from there or looking for woman to sail with and see where it gos

[Dulcesuenos]

My wife had never sailed before we met. Now i don't think she would Ever own another house. I think i got really lucky, she is awesome! Shes even gotten good at fixing stuff! There are plenty of women out there with an adventurous spirit trust and someones ability to deal with stress is a big part of it when it comes to living aboard abroad.

[WebWench]

I have always been of the school of thought that....if you live your life to make yourself happy....others will see your happiness and be attracted to you and your lifestyle. I don't believe in going out in search of someone to make me happy...I need to control my own happiness, and when I am satisfied with my life then no one else can really ruin it for me.
Be confident that'd if you find the boating lifestyle to satisfy your needs and cause you to be less stressed, more happy....there will be women that will find you very attractive indeed!

[gathhill]

Originally Posted by WebWench

I have always been of the school of thought that....if you live your life to make yourself happy....others will see your happiness and be attracted to you and your lifestyle. I don't believe in going out in search of someone to make me happy...I need to control my own happiness, and when I am satisfied with my life then no one else can really ruin it for me.
Be confident that'd if you find the boating lifestyle to satisfy your needs and cause you to be less stressed, more happy....there will be women that will find you very attractive indeed!

Bravo! Very well put.

[jkindredpdx]

Originally Posted by WebWench

I have always been of the school of thought that....if you live your life to make yourself happy....others will see your happiness and be attracted to you and your lifestyle. I don't believe in going out in search of someone to make me happy...I need to control my own happiness, and when I am satisfied with my life then no one else can really ruin it for me.
Be confident that'd if you find the boating lifestyle to satisfy your needs and cause you to be less stressed, more happy....there will be women that will find you very attractive indeed!

Ditto That! Double Bravo.

[TomandAnitas34]

You mean women are not attracted to stress, misery, self doubt and a sense of personal failure ? Who would have thought it !

[rw58ph]

If you do find a female that is willing be involved with a person that lives on a boat then count yourself one of the luck ones and hold on to her. Most of us long term live a boards cater/spoil our SO/wife as we do the majority of the pink duties and all the blue duties. You have to provide enough benefits to more than off set the hard ships. You have to work at it!

[zeehag]

i have found it to be the males who cannot handle it....lol

[sailorchic34]

Originally Posted by zeehag

i have found it to be the males who cannot handle it....lol

^^^ What Zee says!

[goboatingnow]

i have found it to be the males who cannot handle it....lol

That may be your experience Zee, but its certainly not the mainstream. IN any marina and elsewhere youll see several single men or 2 men cruising, single women cruising are very very rare indeed and Ive only met 2 x women cruising once in 20 years.


Its a male activity ( unfortunately)
dave

[Carlisle Spirit]

Originally Posted by rw58ph

If you do find a female that is willing be involved with a person that lives on a boat then count yourself one of the luck ones and hold on to her. Most of us long term live a boards cater/spoil our SO/wife as we do the majority of the pink duties and all the blue duties. You have to provide enough benefits to more than off set the hard ships. You have to work at it!

Maybe it's another US based gender imbalance issue here ?

What exactly are the hardships of cruising or living aboard ?

If they (whoever they are) don't like it, there seems to be lots of others that do like it

What do we need to work at and why ?

Is it really this difficult ?

Very confused by what sounds like lots of pandering

CS

[goboatingnow]

If they (whoever they are) don't like it, there seems to be lots of others that do like it

I think on any scale of measurement, there are very few liveaboard ( however you define that phrase) women, that were not in a serious relationship before they moved aboard. Most , in my experience follow their man , for the sake of their relationship

(i) They learn to love the lifestyle
(ii) Then they start to love the sailing itself

or
(i) they suffer till after a certain time, the realtionship ends
(ii) They and their partner move back ashore
(iii) theres a rapid breakdown and a walk out.


Ive seen them all.

Independant sailors that are women as few and far between ( and to be treasured) anyone whos been in the instructor scene will see the issues.

dave

[Carlisle Spirit]

Originally Posted by goboatingnow

I think on any scale of measurement, there are very few liveaboard ( however you define that phrase) women, that were not in a serious relationship before they moved aboard. Most , in my experience follow their man , for the sake of their relationship

dave

"Any scale of measurement " is a big canvass to doodle on

Hold onto that thought if it comforts you...

CS

[goboatingnow]

Originally Posted by Carlisle Spirit

"Any scale of measurement " is a big canvass to doodle on

Hold onto that thought if it comforts you...

CS

Ive doodled on a fairly big canvas, Ive yet to see any sort of similar proportion of male singlehandle sailors to female anywhere.

dave

[Hudson Force]

Originally Posted by Dulcesuenos

My wife had never sailed before we met. Now i don't think she would Ever own another house. I think i got really lucky, she is awesome! .......................

Were you lucky or is there much to be said for skill. My wife had never sailed before we met in 1969 and she's never owned a house either. I'd be willing to bet that there's some wisdom beyond just good fortune in both of our situations. I doubt if you stand with the many men I've seen who command the helm and bark out commands to their wife, "..lower the anchor, push off that piling, get the fenders out!" Successful cruising couples tend to both have ownership in the operation of the boat and they don't assign roles by arbitrary traditions. We do maneuver our boat to and from docks with a definite thought to sexist roles. I have much greater strength and agility than my wife. She's at the helm and I'm working the lines, fending, warping, securing..... To often I see women on boats that have very little role in the operation of the boat, and without that investment and ownership, I can see why some would become disenchanted.