Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.

[Cherod]

Originally Posted by Exile

I know how hard you try, Third Day, and please don't give up now -- not when you're finally starting to get a grasp on all the trendy lingo. But ordering tacos from a white woman who has culturally appropriated a taco stand with none of the required sensitivities towards the culturally oppressed who continue to be exploited by those falsely empowered through their unearned privilege?? I'm sorry but now you've gone too far. But WAIT! There may be salvation! Are you not one of the oppressed water gypsies yourself, always feeling vulnerable to those who look down on you for living on your boat? Oh the suffering that must entail! The sacrifices you must endure without any empathy, to say nothing of being denied access to your safe space!

. .

oppressed,, not me

[Cherod]

if you cant get a bird that aint the birds fault just that you a hitting on the wrong birds ,of course hitting on the wrong bird might get you a prison sentence nowadays

[BandB]

Originally Posted by JPA Cate

The fact is that children are staying home much longer today, by and large, than they did in the 70's even.

For someone who has been bitterly wounded by the opposite gender (as if there were only two!), recovering from that requires hard work on oneself to get to forgiveness of the other. Not everyone is up for that. And so, there is some bitterness about. It will not go away. When you see it, though, it helps to understand that someone who feels that way has been through a lot of pain and not finished with the anger. It is not really directed at you, it is just that it is sometimes difficult to examine one's own reaction and turn it loose.

Ann

Wifey B: I think many are staying home for financial purposes of the kids and, sometimes, the parents. It's like couples who aren't couples but have chosen to live together based on the economics. Will and Grace situations are more and more common with platonic housemates.

In dealing with orphans, we deal with some of the most hurt, most damaged. It's amazing to watch their recovery and growth in the right environment. They have to learn to trust someone. Often I've seen them skeptical of the staff and adults, but another kid would take them under their wing and tell them it was different there, that the staff was good people. They could believe it quicker from another kid.

I spoke recently with an older lady with a major disease and someone commented on how well she lived in spite of it and on her spirit. She said, "Well, doesn't seem to me there's much choice. I can't fix the disease but I can control how I live and I refuse to be miserable."

I think we pick ourselves up and keep trying because the only other choice is misery.

[Pelagic]

Originally Posted by Chichi

my university days are long behind me, as are surely most of yours, but it speaks to me in a very intimate language, one that still hits home for me. my feeling is that it will hit home for many of you too.

The Sermon on Sadness That Became a Viral Hit | Performance | OZY

good things to everyone!

ChiChi

Thanks for sharing....it is worth listening to as I have struggled with many of the same thoughts.
Luckily, my default setting is:
'How do you know it is you who is doing the thinking?'

[john61ct]

Challenge of the day: come up with a title that accurate reflects this thread's overall content so far.

You may allow any of the diverse and myriad entities that comprise what you call your Self to answer.

[BandB]

We believe in people. Oh, we're greatly disturbed by much going on in the world. However, we return home to our extended family and we visit the parents and sister we adopted as such in SC and best of all the orphanage. I wish those kids were running things. I'm the one who might tend to become negative from all the hatred infiltrating all our lives, but my wife is the one who always picks me up before I can. That way, I don't hold all the badness against the next person I meet. I could meet 5 bad people but I don't assume the next person will be and I hope they'll be good. And they generally are. I don't go wild with blind faith, but I live believing in the innate goodness of mankind. I have to hold on to that. If I didn't then what's the purpose in it all.

The toughest thing in life sometimes is not holding the previous person against the next one. I know one man who was really falling for this woman and she seemed to be for him. However, he'd do the smallest thing and it would set her off, reminding her of her first husband and she'd declare all men were the same. Well, we all do some things like others. It doesn't mean we're the same. He wasn't. He was much different. However, she couldn't get beyond her anger over her first to ever move on. She'll never know what she lost. Thank goodness my wife looks beyond previous experiences and looks beyond my negatives and refuses to admit I have any.

Here's a little matrix. You can plan on good or bad. If you plan on bad and it is bad, you'll be right but it will still be bad. However, if you plan on bad and it's good, you'll never experience it and it will be bad for you. If you plan on good and it's bad, then it's bad. However, if you plan on good and it is good then it will be good for you. So, only one option has hope and that is to plan on good.

That's true on relationships. If you assume it won't work out, then you're guaranteed a self fulfilling prophecy.

[Pelagic]

Originally Posted by john61ct

Challenge of the day: come up with a title that accurate reflects this thread's overall content so far.

You may allow any of the diverse and myriad entities that comprise what you call your Self to answer.

"Catharsis"

[fuentes]

Originally Posted by Wayfarer1008

I think what everyone is saying here is something I've found out in that you can go out and have fabulous adventure's by yourself but if do not have some one to share the experience what's the point.

With a friend, your good times are doubled, your bad times are cut it half.

[MountainKing]

Originally Posted by Wayfarer1008

I think what everyone is saying here is something I've found out in that you can go out and have fabulous adventure's by yourself but if do not have some one to share the experience what's the point.

I think the thing to recognize is not everyone is the same. You may find your enjoyment to be dependent on sharing the experience with someone else, but many find a deeper enjoyment in solitude, and others can appreciate both solitary experiences and those with groups. We're a spectrum of personalities, which is why the task of understanding women is an impossibility. There isn't just one. There is a whole spectrum of personalities among women, which I'm sure if you drew a venn diagram you would find a large amount of overlap with the spectrum of personalities of men. It's not important to understand women, it's only important to try to understand and appreciate your woman/man.

[Kudu]

If you go back to the OP, it seemed he had a wife who was working with him on charter boats, but something went wrong. Maybe, she wanted to settle down and have kids??

If you want a companion and the cruising life, looks like you have to be at the bookends of the middle procreating years. Young and carefree, or over the house and family stage.

Nature made youngish women look for stable, reliable partners in child rearing, and a bloke on a boat with unreliable income is not an attractive proposition. After menopause, the situation might change, but I dont think the OP was looking for a post-menopausal lady.

[BandB]

Originally Posted by Kudu

If you go back to the OP, it seemed he had a wife who was working with him on charter boats, but something went wrong. Maybe, she wanted to settle down and have kids??

If you want a companion and the cruising life, looks like you have to be at the bookends of the middle procreating years. Young and carefree, or over the house and family stage.

Nature made youngish women look for stable, reliable partners in child rearing, and a bloke on a boat with unreliable income is not an attractive proposition. After menopause, the situation might change, but I dont think the OP was looking for a post-menopausal lady.

Wifey B: If a boat is more important to you than a spouse, then you've already got a problem. Just if the two of you can't reach something that works for you. A couple with a solid relationship would never let something like that tear them apart.

[dwedeking2]

Wifey B: If a boat is more important to you than a spouse, then you've already got a problem.

Actually no. I have a game plan that is focused on exploring the world. My budget says this is by boat and I found I liked to sail. Doing so with a partner is secondary.

[hamburking]

Originally Posted by MountainKing

I think the thing to recognize is not everyone is the same. You may find your enjoyment to be dependent on sharing the experience with someone else, but many find a deeper enjoyment in solitude, and others can appreciate both solitary experiences and those with groups.

When travelling alone, you are much more likely to meet, talk with, and visit with new people.

[Cherod]

Originally Posted by hamburking

When travelling alone, you are much more likely to meet, talk with, and visit with new people.

I am not quite sure that that is true

[Pelagic]

Originally Posted by MountainKing

I think the thing to recognize is not everyone is the same. You may find your enjoyment to be dependent on sharing the experience with someone else, but many find a deeper enjoyment in solitude, and others can appreciate both solitary experiences and those with groups. We're a spectrum of personalities.....

To me this is the most important thing to remember along with remembering the context with which we are making some kind of judgement or assessment.

I came across this professional list of personality traits.... Can anyone guess what type of person they are describing?

The increased ability to focus on details,

The capacity to persevere in specific interests without being swayed by others' opinions,

The ability to work independently

The recognition of patterns that may be missed by others,

Intensity, and an original way of thinking.