Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.

[scgilligan]

it amuses me how when some of these posters want to indicate that a man is somehow feminine, that the description includes growing your hair long..Lol. I think if I were out at sea, cruising the islands, etc. you'd find that I have very little interest in maintaining a "professional" haircut..or even trimming my facial hair for that matter. I'd probably resemble Tom Hanks from Castaway. So, does not caring about how much hair protrudes from your head and face make a person feminine? I'd suggest quite the opposite...maybe I'll ask 'Wilson' what he thinks...

[exMaggieDrum]

Originally Posted by daletournier

Hi Chichi, I do agree that there are women such as yourself that want to go cruising, I've come across several but they are the minority based on my experience. I've even come across several women that are driving the adventure, with their partners coming along for the ride, but once again they are the minority.

I also find it interesting when men give their honest opinions/experiences from their perspective they automatically get rocks thrown at them, as the other lady poster has done, her post is quite insulting but apparently OK due to it being more politically correct. I feel many men don't voice their views due to the criticism they would cop.

I have many close women friends, I could not imagine not having women in my life but it doesn't change the fact based on my experience that this lifestyle is not one many women would chose.

Dale, I respect your opinions and it's great you are commenting here. But I think your attitude and "experience" is one reason there aren't more women sailing. I do see many new younger women diving in and do the round-the-world singlehanded, or all women crews who seem to like it fine.

And, like you mentioned there are those where the woman is the driving force in the cruising life and the hubbie only there because she wanted to go sailing. They were excellent cruisers that we met all over Mexico and the South Pacific for years. He finally said he had had enough and they sold the boat and moved ashore. If it were just her, she'd still be out there.

It's certainly not a life for anyone, but I can think of as many men who would have no business out there as I can think of women who shouldn't. Some of the very best, and most adventurous, crews I have met have been all women.

[exMaggieDrum]

Originally Posted by Lepke

"I've met many women who would love the life and are waiting for the right guy (with a boat) to take them away."
Yes, they're out there, but just a different kind of golddigger. Most often, totally unprepared for a life on a boat. Most are just hopping from one failed relationship and looking for a free life in another with all the commitment that goes with that attitude.
Most women do not have a realistic view of life. Let alone life on the ocean. They're full of nonsense romantic novels and movies that are as real as the Flintstones. The book never goes into the ever after. Just the sunset.
One day after pounding into a head sea for days, going someplace you didn't want to go, but going just to please her, everything about life becomes your fault. The difficulty of ocean life, things falling out of cupboards, the tilting deck, hauling groceries and so on is all your fault. Somehow you tricked her. You see her every hair standing straight out, you only hear anger, not words, and you only see fangs. She has become rabid.
Single guys, learn to entertain yourselves. Enjoy the simplicity and quiet of being alone. If you're living on a boat, there's plenty to do to keep entertained. Get a dog. I've never met a woman that was as good of a companion as my worst dog.
If not, grow your hair long, get an earring, and learn how to pee sitting down.

You, sir, are entitled to whatever opinions you want to have. But it seems to me that you can't possibly mean what you just posted. It is wrong on so many levels. So I am assuming you are just trying to stir the pot on purpose for some reason. If not, and you really believe what you just posted, good luck out there by yourself and your single drinking buddies.

[SV THIRD DAY]

Sure Maggie there are some single handing women, but lets also be honest with ourselves here...it's a stereotype of a single handing guy because there's a few in every port, marina, anchorage around the cruising fleet. Things become stereotypes usually because they are the base standard example. I can think of 3-4 single handing women I met while out cruising, but dozens and dozens of men. There is no value judgement, misogyny, or patriarchy in that fact...it just is what is. My daughter has her own boat and is a single handing woman live aboard, but she is also not typical of the live aboard fleet. (and no guys....stay away....)

[deathcruzer]

Looks like you paired up with the wrong girl, It’s not everyone’s cup of tea.The main thing is don’t go to extreme lengths to please your partner, If it’s not there it is unlikely ever to be.

[daletournier]

Originally Posted by exMaggieDrum

Dale, I respect your opinions and it's great you are commenting here. But I think your attitude and "experience" is one reason there aren't more women sailing. I do see many new younger women diving in and do the round-the-world singlehanded, or all women crews who seem to like it fine.

And, like you mentioned there are those where the woman is the driving force in the cruising life and the hubbie only there because she wanted to go sailing. They were excellent cruisers that we met all over Mexico and the South Pacific for years. He finally said he had had enough and they sold the boat and moved ashore. If it were just her, she'd still be out there.

It's certainly not a life for anyone, but I can think of as many men who would have no business out there as I can think of women who shouldn't. Some of the very best, and most adventurous, crews I have met have been all women.

Hi, my attitude comes across worse via a text than it actually is. I actually don't have attitude towards women, in fact my best friends are women and I'm generally liked by women (I think lol) , but that doesn't change my views.

I accept the differences between men and women, in fact I encourage differences! I don't want to live with a bloke... Lol. I cruise mostly with women, my partner has been on board since March, flying home to visit kids and some work, she'll be off for 4 months shortly. And I often have women crew.

I don't accept that my views (attitude) are the reasons more women don't cruise. Women are responsible for what they choose to do with lives, blaming men is a cop out. Regarding attitude I see equally as much attitude towards men, if not more, so that one doesn't cut it with me.

Also women being the drivers regarding cruising, they are an incredibly small minority. Men are generally the ones initiating the cruising (by a very large margin) and wives/partners come along, sometimes happily sometimes begrudgingly, sometimes by negotiation. To suggest other wise just isn't true. I've seen many men stop cruising because their wife wants off, haven't seen it the other way yet. BTW I don't blame the wife for the man stopping living his dream, his life is his responsibility, not hers. And I also understand the pull of kids and grandkids, have no problem with that, I just accept it, but it doesn't influence my plans, l live my life.

Don't get me wrong, of course I see women that enjoy cruising, I've got a very good friend coming to crew in the near future that absolutely loves cruising.

The problem with stating an opinion in this arena regarding women, even if it's done politely is you instantly get labeled a neanderthal or similar, yet a lady such as the one several posts back can suggest her husbands a real man and the rest of us that have different views aren't (not very politely I should add) and she almost gets an applause!

I hope the above comes across in a friendly tone, it's intended that way without tip toeing around my opinions

[daletournier]

Just one more thing. Regarding your last paragraph, "some of the best and most adventurous crewsive seen have been women"
I think you choose to see it that way, the reality is I've seen very few all women crew, not saying they don't exist but they aren't common, and how do you judge them to be better? That's almost a sexist comment in its self! They are better because they're women?

Are there better women sailors than me? Absolutely, alot of people are better sailors than me, but your best and most adventurous comment is a big statement.

[daletournier]

Originally Posted by zeehag

never date a male with a smaller boat than yours. it ALWAYS is an issue even when he swears it is not... h ah aha ha ha

See, a comment like the above isn't much different from Lepkes comments, but it flies right under the radar. Zeehag may be stating the truth from her perspective, labelling all men as insecure in one sweeping statement, how is it different?

[SV THIRD DAY]

Originally Posted by daletournier

See, a comment like the above isn't much different from Lepkes comments, but it flies right under the radar. Zeehag may be stating the truth from her perspective, labelling all men as insecure in one sweeping statement, how is it different?

I believe we know Zees comments were a joke, but I suspect you know this Dale....it's ok to make comments/jokes against men where if the same statement was made against women you become a misogynistic patriarchy Harvey Weinsteinite. It's the world we live in today. #ImwithHer even when she attacked other woman claiming sexual assault.

[john61ct]

I believe that was a joke, riffing on our insecurities about penis size.

[zeehag]

Originally Posted by john61ct

I believe that was a joke, riffing on our insecurities about penis size.

no joke. not about penis size. it IS about boat size. if you wanna make it about your dingaling, we can get personal only after i use my measuring tape. we all know 2 inches is the new 10 inches, until you sail. then itis truly business.
yes i "dated" a fella with a smaller boat than mine. it didnot last long before the large man who kept the mantra it doesnt matter was found to be untruthful. it DOES matter., and 34 ft didnt measure up to 41 ft. and he had such a cute lil boat. he WAS correct in labelling self as an *******.. i like that in a guy. truth. rare as hens teeth but valuable and cherished.
as for you insecure clowns desirous of a perfect woman.... look into the mirror you keep for shaving.... what do you see. is it perfect man?? if not, stop looking for the perfect woman. hahahahaha you will die first. you will find the perfect pizza in mexico first hahahahaha

as a single female sailing a reasonably largish boat sola, i find all kinds of characters afloat. some come in pairs, some come single. from druggie to abject incorrigible dronks to sweet men with good dispositions and GAY omg...hahahahaha
donot forget that i have resided aboard since 1990 and have seen a good cross section of allegedly sailing males. hahahahaha allegedly fits perfectly. a female cannot
sail better
own a larger boat
know more
yada yada than a guy with a lil 28 ft sloop harbor hopping and surfing.
gimme a break
so you IMperfect men wish for a PERFECT woman..where the hell do you think you will find perfection if you yourself are not perfect.
give it up
once you give it up you MIGHT find what you need

UNFORTUNATELY no one is able to say ANYTHING without being SLAMMED. gender irrelevant

[john61ct]

The idea of "reverse sexism" as a source of injustice is ridiculous, just like white people complaining about affirmative action, or safe spaces for minorities.

This warped view only makes sense if you see the cancer of patriarchy and sexist oppression to be morally and medically indistinguishable from the therapy we apply to counter its effects.

All of our society's major problems are founded on toxic masculinity.

Put the women in charge and the world would be a **much** better place.

Seriously.

[SV THIRD DAY]

Originally Posted by john61ct

All of our society's major problems are founded on toxic masculinity.....Seriously.

Yep...there you go folks...right out of the victim grievance industrial complex.
You can take a collage course on the evils, but then just don't expect to find a real job with that degree and your $80K in student debt.

Lets bring in a Feminist to help:https://www.facebook.com/FoxNewsVoic...8838033931419/

[daletournier]

Originally Posted by john61ct

The idea of "reverse sexism" as a source of injustice is ridiculous, just like white people complaining about affirmative action, or safe spaces for minorities.

This warped view only makes sense if you see the cancer of patriarchy and sexist oppression to be morally and medically indistinguishable from the therapy we apply to counter its effects.

All of our society's major problems are founded on toxic masculinity.

Put the women in charge and the world would be a **much** better place.

Seriously.

"Toxic masculinity " oh come on!! (hope that wasn't to masculine). The idea of reverse sexism, as you put it is not ridiculous, there's many examples, but one that comes to mind is female only gyms.

I was in the industry, at one stage thousands of "curves" were opening up and fernwood fitness centers. I tested it one day, I wanted to work out (with ex wife) I was refused entry based 100% on my gender, what do you call that John?

At the time I owned a fitness center, if I had of denied entry to a woman based on her gender or a gay guy based on his sexual preference or a black guy based on his color, or an elderly man person who based on their age, what do you think would of happened?

My point is prejudice happens in many areas of life but some areas get highlighted more than others.

And your comment women would run the world better, I assume we are talking political leadership? Prove it!! How do you do that? They will run it better based on their gender, now there's some equality for ya!!!

Leadership should be based on "who's best for the job" not what gender you are.

[john61ct]

Benefits given to oppressed categories of people don't even begin to right the wrongs inflicted on them daily over their whole lives.

A lifetime grant of $20k per year to every black person in the US would barely be a start compensating for slavery and all the jim crow bs they have to put up with right up to today.

Of course spaces excluding whites, males, the wealthy, cis-gendered, the able-bodied etc are healthy and just, oppressed minorities need places free of the constant micro-aggressions we constantly and subconsciously inflict.

I'm so sick of special snowflake privileged white cis men whining about being discriminated against.

And that's all I'm going to say about that