Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.

[2hullvenus]

Originally Posted by gilgsn

You don't have to die yet, but you could grow up...

Gil.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Na... doesn't seem very appealing.

I prefer to enjoy life rather than "grow up."

[weavis]

Originally Posted by 2hullvenus

Na... doesn't seem very appealing.

I prefer to enjoy life rather than "grow up."

A woman wants a man not a child. Perhaps that is part of your problem?

[2hullvenus]

Just have to find a good spot in south Florida this winter to set up to work on the boat, have a social life and work the day job (done from the boat).

Like building a boat, you just have to keep at it, I guess.

[2hullvenus]

Originally Posted by weavis

A woman wants a man not a child. Perhaps that is part of your problem?

Not really. This is the first time in my life I haven't been in a long term relationship or married. I have no shortage of women. I have too many, actually. I can't find the one I want. The extremely compatible one that's also attractive to me.

I have 2 to see as i pass through Port Saint Lucie tomorrow. Several waiting in Miami. Several wanting to fly down from NY and Chicago once I'm there.

Actually, they do want someone who isn't "grown up", as that is boring, means you have no passion or zest for life, lost most of your creativity, etc. Likewise, I'd never want to be with a "grown up" woman. I prefer ones that have the sparkle left in their eye... who are passionate and creative, with very open minds. a female version of myself, who is also in the same physical shape I'm in and cares about health.

Add someone who likes to travel to the list and it becomes a bit like finding a unicorn.

With the ex wife, I took a more regular girl who had everything else, introduced her to boats and traveling. We spent quite some time doing it, but.... it didn't take.

She enjoyed it, but deep down, she didn't have a passion for it. I'm trying to find an immature, adventurous girl with a passion for travel. So far, nearly all of them have been stuck in work/school ruts. They are all talk regarding travel or see travel as flying to another place to go shopping at a different mall...

[weavis]

Originally Posted by 2hullvenus

Just have to find a good spot in south Florida this winter to set up to work on the boat, have a social life and work the day job (done from the boat).

Like building a boat, you just have to keep at it, I guess.

The title of this thread: Single men aboard and cruising...an honest look. is now looking very much as a misnomer.

Now you want to stop cruising to work on the boat and pursue a 'social' life which basically is banging as many women as you can.

That aint cruising.

Here is an honest look seeing as you are incapable of doing it yourself.

Building a lifestyle around the desires of a body part will always prohibit a meaningful relationship. It renders a person incapable of genuine 'social' interaction and inhibits the ability to form a real relationship. How can it be otherwise when the focus is on satisfying an urge? Not only that, you have set impossible requirements for a women to meet for a long term relationship. What a catch for a woman!

You will attract exactly what you portray and the type of person that will take you up on the offer is what you deserve. If you think you are lonely now, wait till you are in a crowd of two and the only compatibility is her curves and your wallet.

An honest look? You are pretty shallow in your attitude and desires. If you dont start thinking with the right head, then you are going to be in a world of pain and discomfort for the rest of your life.

Growing up is a good place to start.

[2hullvenus]

Ok, that sounds good. I have a brand new, mostly empty 50' catamaran. Want to come over and fit the interior out for me or are you too busy cruising?

Why do so many people on this thread not understand I have just launched a brand new, 50' catamaran after having traveled on boats for many, many years?

,
Odd how you call a "social life" "banging women". That's pretty gross. I call it dating.

Is that really how you think?

So I'm looking for an attractive girl who is compatible with my lifestyle. In what way is this impossible? Do you just take any girl with a pulse that comes along?

My days of doing that are over. I'm trying to find someone very compatible so I can form a solid, fun, long term, monogamous relationship.

How is this wrong ??

Look, if you want some stuffy, boring, "mature" woman, more power to you.

That's not what I'm looking for. I'm looking for my other half.

Originally Posted by weavis

The title of this thread: Single men aboard and cruising...an honest look. is now looking very much as a misnomer.

Now you want to stop cruising to work on the boat and pursue a 'social' life which basically is banging as many women as you can.

That aint cruising.

Here is an honest look seeing as you are incapable of doing it yourself.

Building a lifestyle around the desires of a body part will always prohibit a meaningful relationship. It renders a person incapable of genuine 'social' interaction and inhibits the ability to form a real relationship. How can it be otherwise when the focus is on satisfying an urge? Not only that, you have set impossible requirements for a women to meet for a long term relationship. What a catch for a woman!

You will attract exactly what you portray and the type of person that will take you up on the offer is what you deserve. If you think you are lonely now, wait till you are in a crowd of two and the only compatibility is her curves and your wallet.

An honest look? You are pretty shallow in your attitude and desires. If you dont start thinking with the right head, then you are going to be in a world of pain and discomfort for the rest of your life.

Growing up is a good place to start.

[deathcruzer]

Seriously....Go East young man.....there are lots of fabulous women out there , not so career obsessed who make fantastic boat partners.

[Steamer]

Originally Posted by 2hullvenus

So... I'm seriously considering selling this boat as a project boat

Hi, 2H and sorry for picking just a few words (above) out of Your entire story.

You already got a tons of opinions on how to manage Your "man+woman cruising ideas" and the most important is You do have to have Your own attitude to that worked out. Probably moving further eastwards will help You.

So, back to Your boat. Please PM me describing the project in brief as I may have the Buyer interested.

Good luck with the rest of Your plans!

[exMaggieDrum]

OP, like many of the posters here, I took your original post, and subsequent ones as displaying a very shallow attitude about women and expectations. Having read some of your later posts, I have changed my opinion somewhat and have a better understanding about what you may feel, and what others have said.

First of all, it is a real issue in trying to find a simpatico mate who loves to cruise. It is difficult. Many who have tried have failed. Many divorces have been created by one's dream and the other's nightmare. On the other hand I am blessed with a loving mate who loves to cruise. She was nervous at first but jumped right in when I first suggested getting a boat, and is still cautious and nervous about some things, including some of our most trying experiences "out there". But she bucks up when it comes down to it and I trust her at the helm when I am down below off watch.

And, we have many, many cruising couple friends. Many! There are women (and men) who actually love to do it and couldn't imagine doing anything else. It may be lifelong, or marriagelong, or it may be temporary. But it does happen. What I have seen by and large is that the couples mostly come from seafaring ports or areas with a strong maritime heritage where there are lots of families with a history of sailing or the sea. It is in the DNA and culture of those communities. I also have friends where it was the woman who had the drive to go sailing more than the man. Those women are mostly some of the most competent of all sailors I have ever met. (With a couple of sad examples where a woman had bigger dreams than capabilities. But I have seen more men with that problem too.)

You might get totally lucky and run in to the dream mate quick but more likely it will be by being in places where it is more likely to happen than in a small town in Nebraska, or in Hollywood, or Miami. More likely in Newport, or on the coast of Maine, or in the Pacific Northwest, or other coastal areas with strong maritime heritages - fishing (not lake or sport fishing but commercial), shipping, sailing. It also seems like the best are already hooked up with a like-minded mate. My guess is you will be more likely to find another divorcee who loves to sail, just not with her ex.

And don't forget online - but not eHarmony, or Ashley Madison, or ??. This forum seems to have quite a few single sailors looking to have a go at joint sailing. That is a long process but probably no harder than other ways. And more likely for success. But it is an older, more mature, crowd it seems.

In addition you might also get lucky (not in the sexual sense) in adventure type places. Say, women trekking in Nepal, or backpacking in Australia or South America. You shouldn't expect to find that someone (unless extremely lucky) in the "hot" "cool" places. Those tend to be tourists and rich, lazy, people a lot whose idea of sailing is a chef on board for a two week cruise.

In other words, you can influence the likelihood of finding a suitable mate in the right places, and reduce your chances in other places. But it is never easy to find that "right" person.

[bella]

Originally Posted by 2hullvenus

Just have to find a good spot in south Florida this winter to set up to work on the boat, have a social life and work the day job (done from the boat).

Like building a boat, you just have to keep at it, I guess.

Tall order... most marinas don't allow you to openly do work... and boatyards due to insurance, won't let you live aboard... The only places, to my knowledge..that will fit that bill are smaller backwater marinas.. maybe on the Miami River, but you will have to buy a car.. since a hottie will not look at you twice if you are on a bicycle. Those kind of marinas are low rent...kinda like you.

An aging Lothario, on the wrong side of 40 or is it 50...who is terrified of growing "old" and "losing my looks"....holy cow... you aren't just shallow, I doubt it even makes it to the 3rd layer of epidermis.
Getting "old" is subejctive.. there are still, out there, a lot of fine looking men who aged well...but then that is subjective... you go to raves, and don't realize that the 20 yr old set is laughing at you behind your back..an d the hotties you so love are only interested in you as long as you have plastic and cash... you have gotten a lot of sage advice and chosed to even consider any of it. Doesn't surprise me. As far as your income goes..
Having grown up in an upper class monied world and still play in it, somewhat. I can tell you that IF you had the $$$ you claim to...you would have that boat in a boatyard and the yard doing the work. You would not be looking to charter yourself but have a captain and crew or better yet offer it up to a charter company or have already bought a Dean, Lagoon etc and lent it out to a charter company.

Further IF you had the wherewithal you claim, you would NOR would you on a cruising forum asking for relationship advice. NOT would you be here touting your financial status. YOu can say that your nick hides who you are..but it has been known that criminals looking to make a buck kidnapping someone wealth for ransom or stealing a boat... would not be all that hard to find a 50 foot catamaran in charter.. not that many out there.


In the 12 yrs on this board, which I mostly lurk and read... I have seen a lot of guys (and girls, but mostly guys) like you and the whole, I am going to get a BIG boat and charter it.. only to last a few months to a few yrs and realize how much work it is and it really cramps the cruising lifestyle to either downsize to something they can dble or singlehand and go have fun and enjoy life.. Marsh Harbor is happening in the winter btw.. or they swallow the anchor, move on land and never want to see a sailable body of water ever again. hahaha...

Until YOU learn a few simple facts, such as
We ALL grow older, its an inescapable fact.
20 yr old hotties like other 20 yr old hotties.. unless they are sugar daddies or mamas.. and you pay them to pretend they like you.
chartering is work, 24/7 there is NO time to chase tail and have fun..
The wealthy do not tout how much they have, nor hang out on chat boards looking to stroke their ego or asking for relationship advice. They have always been security conscious and keep a very low profile.. not all of them, just about 1% make the tabloids and the rest hide in plain site and they all dont have luxury cars or homes..
Until you can be comfortable with growing older and in your own skin however it might look, at whatever age you are... and learn to be alone, truly alone... and be okay with that... then you will never be happy..what you are seeking is completely illusive and even if you find it, so fleeting as to be nonexistant...

With that said, best of luck to you... hope you find whatever it is you are looking for..
'bella
aboard S/V Ixchel

[alctel]

I'm kind of curious, for those who were single and living on their boat who then found a girlfriend who moved in with them - how did you manage to move from 'my boat' to 'our boat'

In my case I've redone every single system on my boat, and if I ever decided to stop being single, I can't see how a partner would ever feel it's 'our boat' as my energy and work is in every single inch. The only thing I can see is buying a new boat, together. Is that a fair assessment?

[redhead]

Excuse me, why is everyone treating this farce seriously? Going now

[weavis]

Originally Posted by redhead

Excuse me, why is everyone treating this farce seriously? Going now

Its raining. Boat is tied to the dock. I had a nap, drinking coffee, checking emails.

I like watching slow motion car wrecks. It antidotes my caring sharing physician persona in my personal time. Keeps me grounded.

[weavis]

Originally Posted by alctel

I'm kind of curious, for those who were single and living on their boat who then found a girlfriend who moved in with them - how did you manage to move from 'my boat' to 'our boat'

In my case I've redone every single system on my boat, and if I ever decided to stop being single, I can't see how a partner would ever feel it's 'our boat' as my energy and work is in every single inch. The only thing I can see is buying a new boat, together. Is that a fair assessment?

If you get married, put it in the pre nup.

If she moves in, well sadly in the UK, after 6 months she is classed as de facto partner and entitled to half of your goodies. She has to leave for a while after 6 months.........

relationships have issues that need thinking about.....

[bella]

Originally Posted by 2hullvenus

Look, if you want some stuffy, boring, "mature" woman, more power to you.

That's not what I'm looking for. I'm looking for my other half.

first you seem to think that any woman much over 30 are stuffy and old and not very good looking. your experience with women must be limitied or you simply are in all the wrong places. Wow have you got a LOT to learn. plenty of decent looking women over 50 out there, who can probably run circles around you and still pull up that 80lb anchor no sweat. smh.... But anyone your age or close would remind you that you are "growing older" inescapable fact..

your offense at the "banging/chasing tail" which you call dating.is ludicrious its just words and they are all the thing... you can hide facts behind nice wording but..... good lord it just goes further and further down the shallow end of the pool with you.

You make a comment about "where to winter in fla" which implies you are not already here and yet you tell someone else on another thread you are already in titusville..stay there.. its cheap and on the direct route south to the bahamas..