Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.

[daletournier]

Originally Posted by Pelagic

Hi Dale
I am reading many similar articles written by women, who are trying to temper the Sexual McCarthyism that I warned about months ago in this Thread.

If anything is to be learned from that old movie
" A Boy and his Dog" is that men will eventually withdraw from the confusing ambiguity of flirting with women and align with more extreme solutions of survival.

https://youtu.be/aru48PHXq_Y

Yes it interesting the discussions that are happening . I was talking with three young Romanians this morning over breakfast (the coolest part of travelling), two women and a guy, all early thirties. The women's take (and the guys) was much the same as the writers views, it's going to far and we are going to be worse of for it.

"You want to test a woman's character don't give her adversity give her power"

A lot of guys won't be beaten down by political correctness and silly power plays, they'll just stop engaging. They also won't accept the current popular narrative that is a cowardly attempt to make them feel guilty about masculinity. Men have done a hell of alot of good in the world and still do, but many of the accusers choose to focus solely on the not so good for their own selfish reasons and egos. A conversation isn't happening, "there's accusers and defenders", that's not healthy.

To some degree there's identity politics at play here which is extremely prejudice but currently socially acceptable, the herd is on the move regurgitating some ridiculous mantra because it makes them feel more powerful.

Becareful or you will create what your accusing us of being. Social media is not a judge and jury.

It must be a very confusing time to bring a son up in the world, I'm happy I don't have that responsibility.

[daletournier]

Originally Posted by boatman61

Equal ability to make their choices.. but.. like the bitter socialist drawing unemployment benefit for the last 40yrs its more convenient to blame the system than accept the fact HE screwed his life up and no one else..
How come one never hears of the "Privileged Black Male".. there's plenty of them around the world abusing women and power.
Not acceptable PC wise.. or are folks just terrified of being labelled a racist..

If I knew how to do the thumb thing I would.
Always easier to bitch, whinge and blame.
People need to review their own not recognised prejudice view's.

[daletournier]

Originally Posted by goat

I read the results from a poll done by one of the dating sites a couple years ago. I haven't seen any verification so take this with a grain of salt.

The women polled listed their biggest fear going out on a blind date was that the man would kill them.

The men polled listed their biggest fear was that the woman would be fat.

If those results are true, we are still a long distance from equality.

goat

Irrational fear dosent make something true. How many here know people who have gone on dates and been murdered? How many dates happen around the world everyday?
People say stupid s........

[cyan]

Originally Posted by daletournier

A conversation isn't happening, "there's accusers and defenders", that's not healthy.

Spot on, Dale. This seems to be a relatively recent development, which now defines the modern way to debate. It's a curious shift in culture where lines are drawn and accusations fly in place of civil debate. Back in the day, such rage was reserved for things like anti-war protests. Now the same rage is directed at using the wrong pronoun to address someone.

Thankfully, cockpit beers at anchor seem to still bring out the old-fashioned respectful debate, usually leading to a bit of mutual understanding even without agreement. Hashtags get used on our cockpit table only for tick tack toe. Maybe it's personal contact that is missing in this new world?

[lancelot9898]

Originally Posted by goat

I read the results from a poll done by one of the dating sites a couple years ago. I haven't seen any verification so take this with a grain of salt.

The women polled listed their biggest fear going out on a blind date was that the man would kill them.

The men polled listed their biggest fear was that the woman would be fat.

If those results are true, we are still a long distance from equality.

goat

That's a good one goat and I had to laugh since there is some truth to it from my experience on the dating site for the past year.

[Olddan1943]

Originally Posted by Chichi

... most of my girlfriends are sailors, so that changes the don as well... we swap stories of the time we peed in the bucket, stuff like that...

i live on a different planet. thanks for kindly pointing this out.

I do hope it is a plainly marked bucket.
If you can still hit the bucket, you need another beer.

Someone has the tag line, "You aren't drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on." So true, so true.

[Exile]

Originally Posted by daletournier

Yes it interesting the discussions that are happening . I was talking with three young Romanians this morning over breakfast (the coolest part of travelling), two women and a guy, all early thirties. The women's take (and the guys) was much the same as the writers views, it's going to far and we are going to be worse of for it.

"You want to test a woman's character don't give her adversity give her power"

A lot of guys won't be beaten down by political correctness and silly power plays, they'll just stop engaging. They also won't accept the current popular narrative that is a cowardly attempt to make them feel guilty about masculinity. Men have done a hell of alot of good in the world and still do, but many of the accusers choose to focus solely on the not so good for their own selfish reasons and egos. A conversation isn't happening, "there's accusers and defenders", that's not healthy.

To some degree there's identity politics at play here which is extremely prejudice but currently socially acceptable, the herd is on the move regurgitating some ridiculous mantra because it makes them feel more powerful.

Becareful or you will create what your accusing us of being. Social media is not a judge and jury.

It must be a very confusing time to bring a son up in the world, I'm happy I don't have that responsibility.

Here's your thumb thing Dale, and this post deserves more than one! My only quibble might be to suggest that giving anyone power is a test of character that most human beings fail, regardless of gender, race, etc. And so it's often less essential what policies are ultimately enacted and more important how they are enacted, especially in diverse societies as the US where there are such extraordinary differences between peoples, their backgrounds, and their beliefs. The democratic processes become not only a vehicle for consensus & decision making, but also a "venting" mechanism for disparate views. Identity politics and notions of collective guilt are incompatible with consensus building since they revolve around innate & immutable factors which are essentially non-debatable. Hence the deterioration of civil discourse & the political polarization which necessarily follows. We're evolving backwards towards another form of tribalism, and it's all under the guise of "progressivism."

[boatman61]

Originally Posted by Olddan1943

I do hope it is a plainly marked bucket.
If you can still hit the bucket, you need another beer.

Someone has the tag line, "You aren't drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on." So true, so true.

That used to be me.. but I was getting to much flak for my former drinking habits..

[Exile]

Originally Posted by cyan

Spot on, Dale. This seems to be a relatively recent development, which now defines the modern way to debate. It's a curious shift in culture where lines are drawn and accusations fly in place of civil debate. Back in the day, such rage was reserved for things like anti-war protests. Now the same rage is directed at using the wrong pronoun to address someone.

Thankfully, cockpit beers at anchor seem to still bring out the old-fashioned respectful debate, usually leading to a bit of mutual understanding even without agreement. Hashtags get used on our cockpit table only for tick tack toe. Maybe it's personal contact that is missing in this new world?

I think there's a lot to that Cyan. How many times do we see a forum/blog poster boldly proclaim some highly debatable opinion, only to disappear once it's challenged? But what is there to debate when someone is automatically deemed guilty based solely on gender or race, regardless of who they are as individuals? In earlier generations the goal was to render such factors irrelevant, but now race & gender alone explain it all, and if you challenge those mindless precepts you are deemed racist, sexist, or worse . . . an "extremist!" This is the exact opposite of the sort of liberalism I grew up around, where healthy, civil discourse was the path to greater understanding, and resorting to labeling or stereotyping only signaled that you had lost the debate!

[Exile]

Originally Posted by weavis

Im still waiting to see what equality means to others. Its a phrase used all the time but rarely is there agreement on its definition...

I'm not smart enough for this one. Perhaps easier to consider what it is NOT, namely women trying to act more like men & men trying to act more like women! Except for Boaty that is . . . he likes to reveal his sensitive side to get the girls.

[cyan]

Originally Posted by Exile

I think there's a lot to that Cyan. How many times do we see a forum/blog poster boldly proclaim some highly debatable opinion, only to disappear once it's challenged? But what is there to debate when someone is automatically deemed guilty based solely on gender or race, regardless of who they are as individuals? In earlier generations the goal was to render such factors irrelevant, but now race & gender alone explain it all, and if you challenge those mindless precepts you are deemed racist, sexist, or worse . . . an "extremist!" This is the exact opposite of the sort of liberalism I grew up around, where healthy, civil discourse was the path to greater understanding, and resorting to labeling or stereotyping only signaled that you had lost the debate!

This is a great summary of the ironic damage that has somehow taken place in modern society, IMO. At one point (60's-70's?) it seemed like we were collectively headed to some promised land, some Nirvana, where one's gender and race would be insignificant. Fast forward to 2018, and the world seems angrily divided along those lines with so many groups defending their outrage with the summoned passion of a real victim.

Exile, your use of the term "liberalism" is quite interesting. I have a feeling that you grew up around "classical liberalism", which is not anything like (modern) "social liberalism". Hmmm.

Ah, the beauty of sailing far away from such unfortunate self-righteous and divisive tribes is a blessing. When the smartphone gets out of hashtag range and becomes only a dumb display for my chartplotter... that promised Nirvana seems much closer.

[weavis]

All great insights.

Can we perhaps move a fraction to the left and return to the topic itself regarding single men living aboard and cruising and related issues... We REALLY need to keep the theme of boating as a priority to keep the thread open. Collectively we will not be able to solve the problems of relationships but we can discuss realities of boats and the problems that beset men and ladies who have their own vessels.

[Olddan1943]

Originally Posted by boatman61

That used to be me.. but I was getting to much flak for my former drinking habits..

So you started drinking more to hide the shame of your tag line? CHUCKLE

[Exile]

Originally Posted by cyan

Exile, your use of the term "liberalism" is quite interesting. I have a feeling that you grew up around "classical liberalism", which is not anything like (modern) "social liberalism". Hmmm.

"Classical liberalism" is soooo 19th century Cyan. I would actually call that "economic liberalism" or maybe just "traditional capitalism." Nope, formative years were growing up in NYC & Bean-Town, MA, mostly during the 70's & early 80's. It was a region & time that was still strongly influenced by Vietnam, the civil rights movement, MLK, Democratic party dominance, and intelligent "social liberalism" as you might say. But that was when the indisputable goal of race relations was "color-blindness" rather than race/color/gender based "identity," the goals of gender equality & feminism seemed in sync, and tax policy was at least ostensibly geared towards raising revenue rather than punishing the "1%" (even though taxes were very high). Actual divisions remained, of course, and arguably there were more real-life racial & other tensions than today, but there was plenty of good cause for it. And nobody had difficulty defining what "equality," "oppression" or "privilege" meant.

If a label could be attached, I'd say we were liberal JFK Democrats. But then it's hard to imagine JFK being a member, let alone the leader, of the so-called "liberals" or "progressives" today.

[Exile]

Originally Posted by weavis

All great insights.

Can we perhaps move a fraction to the left and return to the topic itself regarding single men living aboard and cruising and related issues... We REALLY need to keep the theme of boating as a priority to keep the thread open. Collectively we will not be able to solve the problems of relationships but we can discuss realities of boats and the problems that beset men and ladies who have their own vessels.

Oops, sorry Weav. Didn't see your request until I had posted. Feel free to delete if you wish.