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19-01-2016, 11:10
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#106
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Registered User
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: Netherlands
Boat: Ohlson 29
Posts: 1,519
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Re: Single, Female, and living aboard?
Quote:
Originally Posted by morven55
Like it or not women are driven, at least on the most basic level, to create a safe environment for their offspring.
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Probably true to some extent - for those that want children.
When my mother was growing up (1940's), what she wanted wasn't really relevant - women marry, have kids and take care of home and family. That's what we teach (or, used to teach) our kids: little girls will become mothers and wives, little boys the breadwinners making it all possible
Even today, women that don't want children have that decision questioned a LOT. As do those that have one and feel that's plenty, thankyouverymuch. For years and years, people would annoy me with "isn't it time for the second?" etc. and seriously questioning what was wrong with me for "letting that poor kid grow up as an only child", even warning me he'd never learn to share etc. if I didn't provide a sibling.
Things are slowly changing, and more and more girls get taught they CAN be wives and mothers, but there are more options out there and it's fine if that's not what you want. But it's a slow process ...
As is people accepting not all women want to 'mother' all the time. I don't date guys with small children, period. I've raised my kid, he's an adult now, and I have no desire to (help) raise or take care of someone else's child, even if it is "just every other weekend" or something. I don't even babysit -- babies are cute, but the parents need to be in plain sight so I can hand off their bundle of joy as soon as s/he starts crying, or smelling bad
__________________
"Il faut être toujours ivre." - Charles Baudelaire
Dutch ♀ Liveaboard, sharing an Ohlson 29 with a feline.
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19-01-2016, 11:30
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#107
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Registered User
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: PNW Puget Sound
Boat: 1955 G L Watson 40' Yawl
Posts: 386
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Re: Single, Female, and living aboard?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lizzy Belle
Probably true to some extent - for those that want children.
When my mother was growing up (1940's), what she wanted wasn't really relevant - women marry, have kids and take care of home and family. That's what we teach (or, used to teach) our kids: little girls will become mothers and wives, little boys the breadwinners making it all possible
Even today, women that don't want children have that decision questioned a LOT. As do those that have one and feel that's plenty, thankyouverymuch. For years and years, people would annoy me with "isn't it time for the second?" etc. and seriously questioning what was wrong with me for "letting that poor kid grow up as an only child", even warning me he'd never learn to share etc. if I didn't provide a sibling.
Things are slowly changing, and more and more girls get taught they CAN be wives and mothers, but there are more options out there and it's fine if that's not what you want. But it's a slow process ...
As is people accepting not all women want to 'mother' all the time. I don't date guys with small children, period. I've raised my kid, he's an adult now, and I have no desire to (help) raise or take care of someone else's child, even if it is "just every other weekend" or something. I don't even babysit -- babies are cute, but the parents need to be in plain sight so I can hand off their bundle of joy as soon as s/he starts crying, or smelling bad
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Sometimes I think that you misinterpret my comments. It is often difficult to understand ones meaning without eye contact...
I simply meant that I believe females of the species are driven by the deepest primal instincts to reproduce. And even today, I think that that remains true. What may be changing is the view that society takes of a woman who chooses, for whatever reason, to not have children. To me personally, that is a good thing.
I know very few women who chose to remain childless, but they are, without exception, fascinating people. And two of those ladies sail solo...granted they are pretty tough customers, but a lot of fun to hang out with and exchange stories.
I was an only child, and as you say, maybe self centered, as only children tend be. But so what? I don't lie, steal, cheat, backstab, or look down upon others. I am not greedy, am willing to share, etc., but what I do guard closely is my personal space, and I don't feel the need to be surrounded by others. Being an only child, not to mention the product of a military family, taught me to be able to function on my own. Your son will, no doubt, thank you many times throughout his life for the gift of being an only child. NEVER let the opinions of others color the way you think, act, or live your life...many of them no doubt wish they were you...
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19-01-2016, 11:39
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#108
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Registered User
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: Netherlands
Boat: Ohlson 29
Posts: 1,519
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Re: Single, Female, and living aboard?
Quote:
Originally Posted by morven55
I simply meant that I believe females of the species are driven by the deepest primal instincts to reproduce.
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I know that's what you meant, and I politely disagree somewhat
Every being is (to some extend) "programmed" by mother nature to reproduce, but I doubt it's very different for males then females. After all, if mother nature want to ensure a species reproduces and survives, she'll need both sexes for that plan to work.
I think at some point "society" (for lack of a better word) decided women wanted to stay home and have kids, not so much women themselves. It's just what we're told, how we're raised and what is expected, still, to this day. Which makes it hard for those of us that don't want children.
But all things considered, I think most men and women want children at some point and I kinda doubt the number of men not wanting children versus the number of women not wanting children differs a lot -- if looking just at what people want, without the pressure of what is expected by society.
On edit - what does make a difference, is that women only have until they're, say, 35 / 40 to have children while men have pretty much their whole lives to reproduce.
So a women wanting 2 kids has to deal with a little timing. For men, that doesn't matter much, so they can wait while women get to a point where they can't.
A woman aged 30 might start to have that "now or never" feeling, while a 30 yo male may think 'yeah - let's give it 10 more years'
__________________
"Il faut être toujours ivre." - Charles Baudelaire
Dutch ♀ Liveaboard, sharing an Ohlson 29 with a feline.
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19-01-2016, 11:44
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#109
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Senior Cruiser
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: PORTUGAL
Posts: 30,561
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Re: Single, Female, and living aboard?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lizzy Belle
I know that's what you meant, and I politely disagree somewhat
Every being is (to some extend) "programmed" by mother nature to reproduce, but I doubt it's very different for males then females. After all, if mother nature want to ensure a species reproduces and survives, she'll need both sexes for that plan to work.
I think at some point "society" (for lack of a better word) decided women wanted to stay home and have kids, not so much women themselves. It's just what we're told, how we're raised and what is expected, still, to this day. Which makes it hard for those of us that don't want children.
But all things considered, I think most men and women want children at some point and I kinda doubt the number of men not wanting children and the number of women not wanting children differs a lot -- if looking just at what people want, without the pressure of what is expected by society.
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Man..!!
Am I glad it turned out like it has.. all those Bee's would drive me nuts..
__________________
It was a dark and stormy night and the captain of the ship said.. "Hey Jim, spin us a yarn." and the yarn began like this.. "It was a dark and stormy night.."
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19-01-2016, 13:31
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#110
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Registered User
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 2,150
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Re: Single, Female, and living aboard?
Quote:
Originally Posted by boatman61
And you need one in 'Aussie'
or.. to have owned a Poodle..
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Well, we got Saint Bernards and they leave legs alone. How come you folks have not fallen off the earth since your upside down down there?
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19-01-2016, 13:44
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#111
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Senior Cruiser
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: PORTUGAL
Posts: 30,561
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Re: Single, Female, and living aboard?
Quote:
Originally Posted by reed1v
Well, we got Saint Bernards and they leave legs alone. How come you folks have not fallen off the earth since your upside down down there?
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Don't ask me mate...!!
I'm just a Pom with a Psycho Kangaroo that thinks its a hat....
__________________
It was a dark and stormy night and the captain of the ship said.. "Hey Jim, spin us a yarn." and the yarn began like this.. "It was a dark and stormy night.."
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19-01-2016, 14:40
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#112
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Registered User
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 2,150
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Re: Single, Female, and living aboard?
Oh you poor man, living upside down with all those criminal convicts running all over the place. Perhaps you should think about returning to your mother country?
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19-01-2016, 15:12
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#114
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Registered User
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: PNW Puget Sound
Boat: 1955 G L Watson 40' Yawl
Posts: 386
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Re: Single, Female, and living aboard?
Quote:
Originally Posted by boatman61
<<<<<<<<<<<<<< ROFLMTO....
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I was in the airport in Sydney when New Zealand Air [the airline I was returning to the US on] representatives announced that the plane I was waiting for could not be found. The Brit in line behind me said, and I quote: "now you know why we put them down here on these islands, right?" It was all in good humor, but I wound up flying back in a decrepit, creaking United Airlines 747 full of screaming babies, and no empty seats. I was looking forward to a brand new half empty NZ Air 747 with flight attendants walking up and down the aisles with a bottle of White in one hand and a bottle of Red in the other.
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19-01-2016, 15:30
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#115
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Senior Cruiser
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: PORTUGAL
Posts: 30,561
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Re: Single, Female, and living aboard?
Quote:
Originally Posted by morven55
I was in the airport in Sydney when New Zealand Air [the airline I was returning to the US on] representatives announced that the plane I was waiting for could not be found. The Brit in line behind me said, and I quote: "now you know why we put them down here on these islands, right?" It was all in good humor, but I wound up flying back in a decrepit, creaking United Airlines 747 full of screaming babies, and no empty seats. I was looking forward to a brand new half empty NZ Air 747 with flight attendants walking up and down the aisles with a bottle of White in one hand and a bottle of Red in the other.
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The <<< and laughter were coz reid does not read before posting smarmy comments...
While having sailed a lot of Oz and down E Tassie the longest I've spent there is 3 months..
Oh.. also we have a long culture of amiable insults perfected over the years in the Rugby and Cricket fields..
__________________
It was a dark and stormy night and the captain of the ship said.. "Hey Jim, spin us a yarn." and the yarn began like this.. "It was a dark and stormy night.."
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19-01-2016, 15:36
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#116
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Registered User
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 2,150
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Re: Single, Female, and living aboard?
Yup, that sounds about right. Lost a plane, lost some passengers, took out about a mile of runway, all in a day's work down under. Strange place. Does Great Britain still dump its convicts into Botany Bay?
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19-01-2016, 15:48
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#117
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Moderator and Certifiable Refitter
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: South of 43 S, Australia
Boat: C.L.O.D.
Posts: 20,242
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Re: Single, Female, and living aboard?
Quote:
Originally Posted by boatman61
The <<< and laughter were coz reid does not read before posting smarmy comments...
While having sailed a lot of Oz and down E Tassie the longest I've spent there is 3 months..
Oh.. also we have a long culture of amiable insults perfected over the years in the Rugby and Cricket fields..
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Yeah but…...
What an awesome, interesting and varied 3 months: let me see
Tropic sailing
Navigating the uncharted reef strewn massive tides of the Torres Straits and remote areas of the Kimberley
Hand steering down the looooong west coast
Washed ashore penniless in the worlds most expensive city
On the run and chased by the guvmit boats
Couch surfing
Big win by top silk
Cold water sailing
Forced into single handed slave deliveries in unfit small boats across the southern ocean for weeks on end back to the east coast
Finally a cold beer in a cold unmanned port and deported to Europe.
Not a single female living aboard in the whole 3 months…..
Well that's the Hollywood version, maybe a fact somewhere
__________________
All men dream: but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds wake in the day to find it was vanity: but the dreamers of the day are dangereous men, for they may act their dreams with open eyes, to make it possible. T.E. Lawrence
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19-01-2016, 15:55
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#118
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Senior Cruiser
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: PORTUGAL
Posts: 30,561
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Re: Single, Female, and living aboard?
Quote:
Originally Posted by reed1v
Yup, that sounds about right. Lost a plane, lost some passengers, took out about a mile of runway, all in a day's work down under. Strange place. Does Great Britain still dump its convicts into Botany Bay?
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Never sailed the E coast.. sorry.. N, W, the Bight and Tassie.. so could not tell you.. but...!!
I'll play your silly little guessing game.. Does Great Britain still dump its convicts into Botany Bay..??
I do know our religious nuts still head for the States.. more profitable..
__________________
It was a dark and stormy night and the captain of the ship said.. "Hey Jim, spin us a yarn." and the yarn began like this.. "It was a dark and stormy night.."
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19-01-2016, 16:00
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#119
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Registered User
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: PNW Puget Sound
Boat: 1955 G L Watson 40' Yawl
Posts: 386
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Re: Single, Female, and living aboard?
Quote:
Originally Posted by boatman61
The <<< and laughter were coz reid does not read before posting smarmy comments...
While having sailed a lot of Oz and down E Tassie the longest I've spent there is 3 months..
Oh.. also we have a long culture of amiable insults perfected over the years in the Rugby and Cricket fields..
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One of the best adventures of my life was a month in Australia. I would go to a Greyhound terminal, point to the map and ask for a ticket to "that little town there". Head for the nearest pub, and many times had the first one on the house. I've had people walk up me on a street and ask if I was lost. As soon as I opened my mouth to speak I was asked, "oh, a Yank, are you?" I have been taken into a perfect strangers home for a meal and a bed rather than a room at the pub, been given rides to beaches...I couldn't get over the hospitality I was shown.
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19-01-2016, 16:02
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#120
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Senior Cruiser
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: PORTUGAL
Posts: 30,561
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Re: Single, Female, and living aboard?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wotname
Yeah but…...
What an awesome, interesting and varied 3 months: let me see
Tropic sailing
Navigating the uncharted reef strewn massive tides of the Torres Straits and remote areas of the Kimberley
Hand steering down the looooong west coast
Washed ashore penniless in the worlds most expensive city
On the run and chased by the guvmit boats
Couch surfing
Big win by top silk
Cold water sailing
Forced into single handed slave deliveries in unfit small boats across the southern ocean for weeks on end back to the east coast
Finally a cold beer in a cold unmanned port and deported to Europe.
Not a single female living aboard in the whole 3 months…..
Well that's the Hollywood version, maybe a fact somewhere
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Yeah.. surfing 50ft sea's in the Roaring Forties don't forget.. tiller in one hand.. bottle of Bundi' in t'other..
The odd wisps of hair flying before the wind..
Gotta upgrade the wigs..
__________________
It was a dark and stormy night and the captain of the ship said.. "Hey Jim, spin us a yarn." and the yarn began like this.. "It was a dark and stormy night.."
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