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Old 17-01-2016, 09:49   #31
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Re: Single, Female, and living aboard?

"Here's one. I have not in my travels met other female solo cruisers, but hear they are out there. I don't know why that is except perhaps lack of confidence."

during my three years cruising in Western Mexico I met three full time single hand female cruisers.
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Old 17-01-2016, 09:59   #32
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Re: Single, Female, and living aboard?

you all are forgetting the power boaters. I've met quite a few female power boaters.
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Old 17-01-2016, 10:07   #33
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Re: Single, Female, and living aboard?

My partner, now wife, and I cruised Mexico for a couple of years and had well defined roles... I was skipper she handled the line handling and domestic chores. From a purely safety standpoint, she learned boat handling, navigation and maintenance. When health forced us from sail to power, she became expert at docking, rules of the road, monkey wrenching large diesels and bright work prep and finishing. Being the meticulous type, she became so good at maintaining bright work, the guys in the marina would drop by to ask her for guidance on their jobs!
When she was learning the basics of boat handling, I recall her asking why she needed to know that stuff. I replied that if I went overboard or popped off mid-cruise, she needed to know how to come back and get me or take my remains if she chose to do so back to land. She thought about it for a minute or so and said, "that makes sense." She is a more cautious boat handler than I and will make someone an outstanding crew/partner when I'm gone! Phil
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Old 17-01-2016, 10:09   #34
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pirate Re: Single, Female, and living aboard?

Quote:
Originally Posted by sailing_gal View Post
When I talk to a man about singlehanding, sometimes the reaction I get is that I like to be in control. I find that a rather sexist comment, is it assumed the man has to be the skipper all the time?
Only if one is a Male Chauvinist Pig..!!
Like wot I yam..
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Old 17-01-2016, 10:09   #35
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Re: Single, Female, and living aboard?

Quote:
Originally Posted by SaltyMonkey View Post
you all are forgetting the power boaters. I've met quite a few female power boaters.
I should have mentioned - I was including both when posting.
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Old 17-01-2016, 10:20   #36
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Re: Single, Female, and living aboard?

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Same experience here - most like sailing, some not so much, but in both cases usually hubby does all the boat handling etc. and she'll take care of the cooking, cleaning and line handling etc.

I don't agree with 'being relegated' tho -- most women are more then fine with things are they are, cos for some reason (mostly lack of confidence or interest) they don't WANT to sail or dock the boat. If they're not, they can speak up and learn

There are several sailing schools here that have courses that are 'women only' - both teaching sailing classes and boat handling. So even if they don't feel confident having hubby-dear hovering over them when they take the wheel, they can learn w/out him even being there.

I think every couple should figure out for themselves what works best for them, but ... both adults should be able to at least get the boat back to the marina safely. You never know when something might happen and you HAVE to sail that damn boat all by yourself. Better to learn before that happens ...
I know you are not a narrow minded lady. I actually feel that you are quite level with your opinions etc.
My wife is not relegated to line handling, cooking, and chores. As a matter of fact her line handling sucks, lol. Her cooking is absolutely awesome. She doesn't clean; well she cleans very little. She is very adept with nav skills.
In spite of all the great things she can be a real pain in the ass, as for sure I am to her. Her skills with tools have improved greatly with much practice. Common sense even comes into play positively once in a while, hehe.
I believe you may be short changing lots of women sailors in couples who know their way around a boat quite well.
I'm sure this will generate some hoopla , as often such is the case here on cf.
I'm might add that I find the single women sailors quite fascinating. Then again I find many women fascinating, oh boy I better stop now....
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Old 17-01-2016, 10:32   #37
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Re: Single, Female, and living aboard?

Its weird, feminists demand equality but won't do many things without a man.[/QUOTE]

Mark J - Some of us who are world traveled, well-educated and adventurous believe that a woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle.

Your comment, quite simply, would be one of the reasons we feel that way...
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Old 17-01-2016, 10:37   #38
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Re: Single, Female, and living aboard?

Quote:
Originally Posted by thruska View Post
I believe you may be short changing lots of women sailors in couples who know their way around a boat quite well.
I don't doubt it It's not intentional, but when discussing things like this you can't really help but generalize ... which means there are a lot of exceptions to each statement made.

Having been on (power and sail) boats pretty much from the day I was born - over 40 years ago - and meeting and talking to a LOT of women, the majority isn't involved in boat maintenance, boat handling etc.
Maybe it's different here (Netherlands) and more women are involved in all things related to the boat in the US - I don't know. Hope so

A lot of women walk up to me and will ask what happened -- how I ended up alone on board. When I explain to them I bought this boat myself and have always sailed solo - or with my kid when he was little - they either look at me as if I sprouted a second head, or will admit they'd love to do that too, but are a little afraid to do so.
(When I was sailing with my kid when he was small, some even felt that was completely irresponsible and a couple of times, the convo even turned a bit ugly.)

The exceptions I have seen are usually (again - not always ) cruisers -- and the many women who sail on the barges here (not sure what you call them - the freight ships). Usually, they do all the boat handling in locks etc. And they do a great job too.
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Old 17-01-2016, 10:45   #39
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Re: Single, Female, and living aboard?

Quote:
Originally Posted by sailing_gal View Post
................
.................... When I talk to a man about singlehanding, sometimes the reaction I get is that I like to be in control. I find that a rather sexist comment, is it assumed the man has to be the skipper all the time?
Certainly, a man who is singlehandling would be in control all of the time. I doubt if he could be labeld "sexist" if he were alone; however, most of us have seen the male at the helm yelling at his wife to grab lines and shove off pilings. My wife and I took our basic courses for cruising and living aboard in 1971. We've always considered "skippering" a shared responsibility though we've developed some agreed divisions of labor. For example, I do more engine maintenance and she does more stainless polishing; she takes the helm while docking while I manage lines; she prepares most meals and I clear & wash the dishes; she cleans maintains more below and I maintain more on deck and under water.

We elect to follow some "sexists" divisions of labor that are very traditional, but we also recognize that everything is negotiable. While raising our children aboard we found that we were unable to compromise our techniques in closing the day & completing the bedtime tasks. Our negotiated decision was to trade days. One of us would be free every other evening to sit on deck with a glass of wine while the other dealt with the bathing, tooth brushing, pajama selection, bedtime story, etc.

"Everything is negotiable" is a ticket to a couple's cruising success!
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Old 17-01-2016, 10:51   #40
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Re: Single, Female, and living aboard?

Quote:
Originally Posted by CaitB View Post
Its weird, feminists demand equality but won't do many things without a man.
Mark J - Some of us who are world traveled, well-educated and adventurous believe that a woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle.

Your comment, quite simply, would be one of the reasons we feel that way...[/QUOTE]

Now that we've heard from both extreme sides of the sexists issue, can we get back to the thread?
"Lighten up Francis ! "
Now , let's see, I like women, does that make me a lesbian ?
Can't live with em, can't live without em, can't shoot em . Goes both ways kids.
:trash :
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Old 17-01-2016, 11:08   #41
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Re: Single, Female, and living aboard?

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Originally Posted by sailing_gal View Post
I have taught sailing for recreation at a navy base. I always tried to separate couples, although sometimes it couldn't be done or they would refuse. Typically the woman would end up being satisfied with only mastering crew type responsibilities and leaving decision making and planning to the husband, who was happy to take on the role. I always felt that was a disservice to both. I realize there are lots of exceptions. When I talk to a man about singlehanding, sometimes the reaction I get is that I like to be in control. I find that a rather sexist comment, is it assumed the man has to be the skipper all the time?
Toughest, most capable mate I ever worked with was/is a female from a wee Scottish Isle. She is now skipper in her own right and I would sail under her command any day to any place.
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Old 17-01-2016, 11:10   #42
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Re: Single, Female, and living aboard?

It is indeed a rare event. Dirty old men's fantasies to the contrary. Just like you find few men who have pink bedrooms with satin sheets. Each to their own. Men drink alcohol while women binge on chocolate. Yes, they really are different.
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Old 17-01-2016, 11:11   #43
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Re: Single, Female, and living aboard?

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Originally Posted by Capt Phil View Post
My partner, now wife, and I cruised Mexico for a couple of years and had well defined roles... I was skipper she handled the line handling and domestic chores. From a purely safety standpoint, she learned boat handling, navigation and maintenance. When health forced us from sail to power, she became expert at docking, rules of the road, monkey wrenching large diesels and bright work prep and finishing. Being the meticulous type, she became so good at maintaining bright work, the guys in the marina would drop by to ask her for guidance on their jobs!
When she was learning the basics of boat handling, I recall her asking why she needed to know that stuff. I replied that if I went overboard or popped off mid-cruise, she needed to know how to come back and get me or take my remains if she chose to do so back to land. She thought about it for a minute or so and said, "that makes sense." She is a more cautious boat handler than I and will make someone an outstanding crew/partner when I'm gone! Phil
I'll probably take her Phil. Please send picture of boat. 😊
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Old 17-01-2016, 11:47   #44
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Re: Single, Female, and living aboard?

I'm sure many more single women would live aboard if they did feel safe enough to not fall prey to stalkers or worse.
I'm 6', 185 and can certainly take care of myself, and spend every Thursday-Sunday from April 1-September 30 on my 28' and love every minute of it. The thought of driving back to NYC to work is appalling! I do love my job, though.

One night at our marina, after a weekend party, I went to bed around midnight while there were still many people milling around the party and the docks. All friends and family of the person for whom the party was given, as well as other members of our yacht club.
Around 4AM I was awakened by 2 men trying to get into my cabin. I grabbed my .25 and yelled to get off my boat, threw open the hatch, ran up the steps like a madman, jumped off the boat and out on to the dock yelling and chasing them up the ramp. I lost them in the dark by the yacht club building.
I then called 911
This was a frightening experience which could have gone a lot worse than it did, and I thank God every day it didn't.
Even for a grown man, it was a daunting experience.
Nobody locked the gate leading to the docks. We are all very diligent about doing so, and this particular night they weren't locked.

While we are in a very safe marina, Murphy's Law always applies.

This won't however, stop me from doing it again this year, every Thursday-Sunday, nor will it stop me from living aboard full-time in a few years in retirement.

It shouldn't stop women either. Follow the dream.
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Old 17-01-2016, 11:56   #45
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Re: Single, Female, and living aboard?

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I'm sure many more single women would live aboard if they did feel safe enough to not fall prey to stalkers or worse.
There are plenty of predators living on land, but that doesn't seem to stop women from living there too

I've had 2 less-then-fun (understatement) encounters with men making the wrong assumptions because I'm solo -- but again, this happens on land too. Even more, I think, then on the water.
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