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Old 17-08-2016, 12:45   #136
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Re: Single, Female, and living aboard?

Sailing "solo" alone is not the same as being alone. If one has a healthy acceptance of oneself and a healthy disposition towards life then being solo is not a bad thing. Some think that being solo is only an interim state between being partnered. Their times of being solo over time become miserable and they become cantankerous and bitter while they long/lust after their ideal partner.

Then you have the others who are so anti social that they truly only want to be by themselves. Even in a relationship they are more alone within themselves than enjoying the relationship sharing that comes with a real partnership.

For me, I like people. I don't like to be relegated to an inferior place by anyone. Running my own business has definitely made me unsuited to be partnered with anyone who want to tell me what to do or think in any shape or form. So I see no issue with sailing solo. I do have good friends who I could very easily share life with on the boat. But I am independent, self made and too intelligent to have someone have even just a superior attitude around me.

I am tough and I don't give a damn what others think. I do not need societies approval or validation for whatever way I choose to live. I do not need to be validated socially by having a man partner.

All said and done. Cool people of whatever gender or mix thereof are welcome in my life. My friendships and relationships are based on deeper quality's than sex or the need to have a maid/cook. Being/sailing solo or not is not an issue. Happy to be alone and happy to be with cool people no matter who and what they are. All the others, bigots, mean, chauvinistic and logically challenged, I can do well without.

Just my opinion on solo or not, on land or out in the ocean blue.
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Old 17-08-2016, 14:52   #137
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Re: Single, Female, and living aboard?

1000Islands~ can you connect me w/ her? I live on the Great Lakes
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Old 17-08-2016, 15:24   #138
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Re: Single, Female, and living aboard?

I disagree completely. I have never had an instinct to reproduce, & I encourage all of my girlfriends as well to think deeply before they do have their first... To question societal norms & to do what they want to do, not what others want of them
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Old 17-08-2016, 16:34   #139
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Re: Single, Female, and living aboard?

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I disagree completely. I have never had an instinct to reproduce, & I encourage all of my girlfriends as well to think deeply before they do have their first... To question societal norms & to do what they want to do, not what others want of them
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Old 18-08-2016, 04:29   #140
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Re: Single, Female, and living aboard?

It's slighty or maybe more than slightly unusual to find females living alone aboard and cruising. But then again it's not that usual for males to be living alone aboard and cruising either. Society has the boys blue and girls pink thing drilled into everyone's heat.... and it hard to break out of these molds... for either gender. I can only report my experience as a single male living aboard and cruising in mid life. I loved it. I met amazing people of both genders. It's a bit hard on the dating from for sure... especially if one is looking for a more robust and deeper connection and convergence. However I did meet, and date for a year or two a Norwegian woman who had her own boat... but needed help... and she eyed me and that led to a wonderful period. But there were "dry periods" for sure at sea... not all the females that interested me were willing or interested in moving to a blue lifestyle... most are totally ok with sailing... but essentially too pink for full time blue! On land I lived mostly a single life having had a couple of marriages that didn't work well... why marry even before you know the chance of success is there. Marriage is no different than preparing to sail offshore. You can't guaranty the passage... but you prepare for the down side risk and mostly you will make the passage and find that snug harbor. So in the end I don't know of I was a serial failure or simply chaulked up a lot of experience???? Now I have settled into a marriage with a lovely woman who likes sailing but is NOT a sailor... has her own grown children and delightful little grand daughters who are barrels of fun! How cool is that!!!! I sowed my wild oats... sailed the oceans, traveled to distant shores and mountain peaks... mostly because I was single and untethered to the usual expectations and life path... But I did get an architect's license and have done this all my life as needed. I count myself lucky to have the sort of work that I can do in fits and starts, and so on. I have met a series of fabulous ladies out there sailing alone... or single ladies who live on dirt but love to sail and own their own boats. I don't know why they are that way... but I respect and admire all of them for it. Remember Katie and Jessie? I think their sailing thing is over... but maybe they'll get re infected ;-).
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Old 23-10-2016, 20:13   #141
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Re: Single, Female, and living aboard?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ann T. Cate View Post
There's a subgroup for single females here on CF.

It wouldn't be there if there were next to none.

Actually, there are a fair number of women on CF whose avatar names do not make it clear that they are women. It's easy to understand: single women are sometimes prey to stalkers.

Ann


Stalkers?
You mean the ones that claim love at first sight?



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Old 23-10-2016, 20:36   #142
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Re: Single, Female, and living aboard?

My sister has lived aboard and cruised by herself for over 20 years. She is a boatie all the way, had her 100 ton capt licence at the age of 19, running a schooner. It amazes me when she comes into a marina, that there are some who fell they need to tell her what to do. She just smiles, says thank you.

Also the former dock master from our marine. The young women took off on a sailboat with little experience, down the ditch stay in Fla, then to the Bahamas and now in Puerto Rico. Saw her in Hope Town and she was doing well.
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Old 24-10-2016, 08:22   #143
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Re: Single, Female, and living aboard?

there have been one or two on this thread who posted that there are only 2 or 3 sola females in west mexico cruising--ha ha ha those individuals did not look hard enough. i can name 3 now and know 10 more.
what i find most interesting is a woman, according to male crew, is fine until she has need to tell the male to do something--then she is a bligh .
gods forbid.
any male taking offense at the owner of a boat telling him what to do, as he does not know what to do without said instruction, is not worthy crew. period.
and so you males wonder at why females CHOOSE to sail without you.
once you males with attitude issues have completed your anger management classes and psychiatric evaluation and treatments, perhaps , once rehabilitated, you MIGHT make adequate crew, until you relapse into the belligerant and obnoxious gotta keep control specimens we refuse to allow onto our boats once again. pray this is not mid passage. i have already seen the results of a schizophrenic on a boat with others..itis n ot pretty and the resulting extra work is unnecessary . schizophrenics donot belong on a boat with others he can kill as he destroys the function of the boat he is allegedly repairing. ha ha ha ha ha
my first boat my first day in my first marina drew a stalker--was miserable. took me 7 years to get rid of that jerk.
there are sick people everywhere-- the proportion of sick to well on water is absurd, as life has been essentially laissez faire on water and the attraction is great for the psychiatricly challenged. seems the numbers of poedophiles, stalkers, registered sex offenders and other "outcast"individuals is higher as our population in this lifestyle is small.
hence the difficulty locating a reasonable individual from the pool of folks on boats.
but if tacoma sailor opened his eyes he would see how we , as females sola on boats donot identify ourselves to most of this population. he would also see that , in barra de navidad alone, in one season, there were 5 sola females anchored in barra lagoon.
it is funny to watch as so many folks donot open their eyes while cruising, hence possess weak powers of observation.
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Old 24-10-2016, 09:22   #144
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Re: Single, Female, and living aboard?

CHOICE
This is key word. I believe some have made the choice based on past experience, men and women. This is a good place to be for anyone. If you need a mate you are eager and make the wrong choice. I think if everyone recognizes it is a choice, maybe there can be a mutual respect.
Times have changed and women no longer need a man to check the oil, car or boat. Men no longer need women to cook. This doesn't make them man or women haters, just realist. They get tired of the bad choices they make and attempt to make better ones.
Acknowledgement is key. Accepting that they were in fact responsible for all things they allow in their life.
I will bet that while sailing solo there is some reflection.
Traveling solo in a RV this summer has been a good thing for me.
Yes, I know how to check the oil.



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Old 12-11-2016, 07:18   #145
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Re: Single, Female, and living aboard?

Pl

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Old 12-11-2016, 08:25   #146
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Re: Single, Female, and living aboard?

living aboard is what you make it. it can be lonely. it can be productive. it can be reflective-- it our choice to feel what we feel.
yes a choice.
we are in control of our own emotions.
what a concept.
we also choose our insecurities.
what is inside one's head is controllable by that person.
inability is a choice as well.
our paths are our own choices.
so is company we choose to keep or not to keep.
everything comes down to choice.
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Old 12-11-2016, 15:04   #147
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Re: Single, Female, and living aboard?

Quote:
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You are in so much trouble now. So much.
FACTOR, your comment was a gross understatement. Imo.
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Old 14-11-2016, 01:54   #148
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Re: Single, Female, and living aboard?

I solo-sailed for 3 years in the Western Caribbean and Panama and although I met a few other women solo'ing, we were definitely in the minority. Now I sail with my partner and I must say....not only is it easier with two people on board, it's way more fun when you have someone special to enjoy it with! I highly recommend it!
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Old 14-11-2016, 04:07   #149
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Re: Single, Female, and living aboard?

We are who we are. Others are themselves.

I too had the pleasure of being stalked by a mentally challenged woman for 10 years online, professionally in my business and socially by her contacting everyone I know. She even contacted the FBI over a few things.

These are exceptions rather than the rule.
Also too, ALL men finding it hard to listen to a womans request to do something on her boat is not quite accurate. Its her boat. Her rules, Im happy to comply and all of my sailing friends would be too.

There is however, in the mind of SOME men the thought that a single woman alone on a boat could be a player. One hopes that the men take the cue from the woman concerned that this is not the case and respectfully behave.

Its the same for us men too you know.... If Im on a street walking behind a woman and she looks nervous, I often cross to the other side. I think twice about talking to a child if alone in an area...... times and political correctness have destroyed a lot of trust in the USA and the UK because of the actions of a few. Fortunately here in Spain it hasnt gone too far as of yet.

Ce le vie.
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Old 14-11-2016, 06:02   #150
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Re: Single, Female, and living aboard?

SPEAKING of STALKERS......
my first 7 yrs o f living aboard was plagued by a jerko stalker--ocd, classic narcissistic sociopathic control freak thinking that all women who own boats are in it for the sex.
gads.
from the first box of personal items i brought to the boat i was plagued with intrusions and harrassment. the clown was a manipulator and a sicko with a history of stalking and psychiatric issues. 30 phone calls daily from someone i never gave number to...and worse..
at any rate, once the manipulation was stopped and the creeps he hired were successfully dispo'd, life has been awesome.
unfortunatly this was real time stalking, at the same time oj was messing with the public about his dead wife he stalked mercilessly until he killed her.
oops
was not a fun time.
just be careful and donot allow anyone to screw with ye.
and now you ALL know why i use zeehag as my name online.
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