Most Wife Friendly Weekend Sailboat?

[flopresti]

This old sailor has a wife who's shared my cruises since we were young. It took perhaps 20 yrs for me to learn the secret. If you don't temper your boat handling to your partners comfort level, you'll end up as many of my friends - without a sailing partner.

Luckily, we were young when I was a complete fool, she was more resilient and didn't quit before I learned. I stop cruising as I raced. As we aged and I appreciated her company and our long vacations on a boat I kept learning

I reef early. I use a small jib in tight situations to get good visibility. I watch the weather. I don't sail the hottest angles in stiff winds. I don't insist on a spinnaker. I don't insist on my rights. etc, etc....

And when something exciting happens, she realizes I'm not doing it to her. She trusts that I'm her friend.

Enjoy,_/),,,, Frank

[CarlF]

Cruising on a trailer sailor is typically less comfortable than camping. Does your wife like camping?

If by "New England" you are in driving distance to Boston, I'd join one of the two Boston sailing clubs. They will provide instruction and let you use boats for daysailing, overnights or week long cruises. Try sizes from dinghy to 40 footers. I imagine other parts of New England has similar clubs.

Cost is much less than the cost of owning and you get a well maintained and clean boat.

http://www.bostonsailingcenter.com/index.asp

[justwannadoit]

Hi everyone:
I thought I would get an email message everytime I got a response to my admittedly mundane question, but that has not happened. I have printed out and will review all the responses both sweet and sour and believe me, I thank you one and all for taking the time to write. I am corresponding with the Power Boat squadron in my area(central MA) about navigation and piloting courses and I am preparing my day sailor for the rigors of lake sailing. I am softening my wife to the idea of sailing(period) let alone sailing for more than an afternoon. I am determined and underway to making my dream of sailing the ocean come true. I am narrowing a list of cruising boats suitable for the New England coast down and I plan to purchase and outfit her in a year or so's time.Any and all comments are appreciated.
Warmest regards,
Kent

[Cheechako]

Originally Posted by CarlF

Cruising on a trailer sailor is typically less comfortable than camping. Does your wife like camping?

If by "New England" you are in driving distance to Boston, I'd join one of the two Boston sailing clubs. They will provide instruction and let you use boats for daysailing, overnights or week long cruises. Try sizes from dinghy to 40 footers. I imagine other parts of New England has similar clubs.

Cost is much less than the cost of owning and you get a well maintained and clean boat.

Boston Sailing Center: Sailing School, Sailing Club - Lessons, Memberships, Racing, Cruising, Charters, Instruction

This is a great suggestion. Co ownership or joining a club. Sailboats generally start to get more comfort/cruising friendly at about 30 ft. A 30 ft Catalina can be quite comfortable....

[Sabercat]

Originally Posted by justwannadoit

wife...central MA...cruising boats suitable for the New England coast down...

Hi Kent,

Based on this, I also think the Nonsuch is ideal. Lots of them in New England and a great owners association to help newbies. Boat has space, comfort, safety and is easy to sail singlehanded if she decides she would rather just lay out on the wide deck or in the large cockpit and get a tan.

I was in a similar situation 10 years ago. While my wife still doesn't really love sailing, she enjoys the boat and willingly joins me cruising, racing and just hanging out at the dock socializing.

Good luck!

[boden36]

I just read this out to my wife, who has been sailing with me for over 30 yrs. Her comment is whatever you do, make it romantic. And when you sail the boat, don't sail it on its ear or try any heroics.

Regards,
Richard.

[JPA Cate]

Furthermore, if you take her out and make her scared and cold and wet, and then shout at her---forget it! It won't be fun for her. Do what you can to make it fun for her! Some of the preceding posts have been so full of love and learning, it warmed my heart!

Ann Cate, asv Insatiable II, on the hard in Hobart, Tasmania till tomorrow!

[justwannadoit]

Well last night the wife's eye got caught on one of the many books I have bought with money that would have been better spent on sailing lessons. She picked it up and paged through it from front to back and then back to front for about twenty minutes. This is great I thought. I expected she would drop it like a bad habit instantly. After her review, she put the book down and stared into the fire for a bit. Then she looked at me and said,"I don't have any interest in sailing around the world". Not the reaction I would have liked, but perfectly understandable. I told her once again that I have NO aspirations of sailing around the world either. Why don't they ever listen! ; ) Next week I am meeting with a friend who has sailed the coast here in New England for about 15 years working his way up from a 16 footer to a 30 foot sloop he sailed with his wife and twin daughters. In a few weeks I will be meeting with another friend who has sailed the Caribbean and East coast. Hopefully they can put me in contact with someone who might let me tag along on a day sail so I can experience saltwater sailing for the first time. I don't know if it will all fall into place, but my initial goal (besides constantly gaining knowledge and some experience ocean sailing) is to sail from Massachusetts to York Beach Maine in the summer of 2014 to meet my family as we spend the week vacationing. They drive and I sail! Well back to the dream. Thank you all for any feedback both past and future.
Regards,
Kent

[David_Old_Jersey]

Originally Posted by Ann T. Cate

Furthermore, if you take her out and make her scared and cold and wet, and then shout at her---forget it! It won't be fun for her. Do what you can to make it fun for her!

I was going to add a funny about that being kinda obvious - but upon reflection I suspect not so obvious for a few .

[The Garbone]

Originally Posted by Ann T. Cate

Furthermore, if you take her out and make her scared and cold and wet, and then shout at her---forget it! It won't be fun for her. Do what you can to make it fun for her! Some of the preceding posts have been so full of love and learning, it warmed my heart!

Ann Cate, asv Insatiable II, on the hard in Hobart, Tasmania till tomorrow!

Still in the learning curve myself the wife and I went sailing yesterday. Goofing around I put the boat on a close reach and got the sail trimmed pretty tight and moving fairly fast. Took it near 20% of heal before I let out the sheet a bit. Wife never said a peep until I flattened it out a bit. "I liked that, fun".

YMMV

[Roy M]

Get a reservation at a nice hotel on the water. Pamper her with massage and spa and all the other goodies the place can provide, including plenty of naps. Then, rent a small boat on a warm and sunny day and go sailing for an hour or two. Come back, get her massaged again, and see what she says about sailing. The next day, go up in size of boat and spend another hour more. Keep this up until she says, "enough"! Then ask her what she thinks about boats. It will be a heck of a lot cheaper in the long run, and probably, a more enduring decision.

[Therapy]

Originally Posted by justwannadoit

Well last night the wife's eye got caught on one of the many books I have bought with money that would have been better spent on sailing lessons. She picked it up and paged through it from front to back and then back to front for about twenty minutes. This is great I thought. I expected she would drop it like a bad habit instantly. After her review, she put the book down and stared into the fire for a bit. Then she looked at me and said,"I don't have any interest in sailing around the world". Not the reaction I would have liked, but perfectly understandable. I told her once again that I have NO aspirations of sailing around the world either. Why don't they ever listen! ; ) Next week I am meeting with a friend who has sailed the coast here in New England for about 15 years working his way up from a 16 footer to a 30 foot sloop he sailed with his wife and twin daughters. In a few weeks I will be meeting with another friend who has sailed the Caribbean and East coast. Hopefully they can put me in contact with someone who might let me tag along on a day sail so I can experience saltwater sailing for the first time. I don't know if it will all fall into place, but my initial goal (besides constantly gaining knowledge and some experience ocean sailing) is to sail from Massachusetts to York Beach Maine in the summer of 2014 to meet my family as we spend the week vacationing. They drive and I sail! Well back to the dream. Thank you all for any feedback both past and future.
Regards,
Kent

Bubble pop!

You might want to meet with a few single (now divorced) sailors also (some here on CF even).

For perspective ya know .

[micah719]

"......'til death do us part...or a sailboat, whichever is the sooner......."

[Hudson Force]

Originally Posted by Roy M

Get a reservation at a nice hotel on the water. Pamper her with massage and spa and all the other goodies the place can provide, including plenty of naps. Then, rent a small boat on a warm and sunny day and go sailing for an hour or two. Come back, get her massaged again, and see what she says about sailing. The next day, go up in size of boat and spend another hour more. Keep this up until she says, "enough"! Then ask her what she thinks about boats. It will be a heck of a lot cheaper in the long run, and probably, a more enduring decision.

I like this, but it might only work for the sailor that's married to Pavlov's dog.

[JPA Cate]

You know, guys, an initial reaction of "I don't want to sail around the world," is not unreasonable in someone with zero sailing experience, and who has been a landlubber all her life. How could she know whether she would like it at all?

IMO, it helps if she's a bit "outdoorsy" by choice; I think the adjustment is harder for someone who expects to be coddled. And of course, some women take to it like "a monkey to a tree," as Julie Mor wrote.

But as to what the guys can do that makes it easier, is first to acquire enough skills that he feels comfortable skippering, explain stuff in advance, elicit her participation so as to make her part of it; possibly take on some of the "domestic chores" on the boat; invest in good weather gear">foul weather gear for her (to keep her warm and dry), and please don't shout.
One other thing, don't count on cruising to keep a failing relationship together; those turn out to be water soluble.

Ann Cate, asv Insatiable II, relaunching today in Hobart