Cruisers Forum
 


Join CruisersForum Today

Reply
 
Thread Tools Rate Thread Display Modes
Old 01-02-2013, 15:42   #31
Registered User

Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Port Washington, Long Island
Boat: J40
Posts: 59
Images: 1
Re: Most Wife Friendly Weekend Sailboat?

This old sailor has a wife who's shared my cruises since we were young. It took perhaps 20 yrs for me to learn the secret. If you don't temper your boat handling to your partners comfort level, you'll end up as many of my friends - without a sailing partner.

Luckily, we were young when I was a complete fool, she was more resilient and didn't quit before I learned. I stop cruising as I raced. As we aged and I appreciated her company and our long vacations on a boat I kept learning

I reef early. I use a small jib in tight situations to get good visibility. I watch the weather. I don't sail the hottest angles in stiff winds. I don't insist on a spinnaker. I don't insist on my rights. etc, etc....

And when something exciting happens, she realizes I'm not doing it to her. She trusts that I'm her friend.

Enjoy,_/),,,, Frank
__________________

__________________
flopresti is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-02-2013, 15:48   #32
Registered User

Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 1,966
Re: Most Wife Friendly Weekend Sailboat?

Cruising on a trailer sailor is typically less comfortable than camping. Does your wife like camping?

If by "New England" you are in driving distance to Boston, I'd join one of the two Boston sailing clubs. They will provide instruction and let you use boats for daysailing, overnights or week long cruises. Try sizes from dinghy to 40 footers. I imagine other parts of New England has similar clubs.

Cost is much less than the cost of owning and you get a well maintained and clean boat.

http://www.bostonsailingcenter.com/index.asp

__________________

__________________
CarlF is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 01-02-2013, 16:44   #33
Registered User

Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 17
Re: Most Wife Friendly Weekend Sailboat?

Hi everyone:
I thought I would get an email message everytime I got a response to my admittedly mundane question, but that has not happened. I have printed out and will review all the responses both sweet and sour and believe me, I thank you one and all for taking the time to write. I am corresponding with the Power Boat squadron in my area(central MA) about navigation and piloting courses and I am preparing my day sailor for the rigors of lake sailing. I am softening my wife to the idea of sailing(period) let alone sailing for more than an afternoon. I am determined and underway to making my dream of sailing the ocean come true. I am narrowing a list of cruising boats suitable for the New England coast down and I plan to purchase and outfit her in a year or so's time.Any and all comments are appreciated.
Warmest regards,
Kent
__________________
justwannadoit is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-02-2013, 17:12   #34
Senior Cruiser
 
Cheechako's Avatar

Cruisers Forum Supporter

Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Skagit City, WA
Posts: 19,355
Re: Most Wife Friendly Weekend Sailboat?

Quote:
Originally Posted by CarlF View Post
Cruising on a trailer sailor is typically less comfortable than camping. Does your wife like camping?

If by "New England" you are in driving distance to Boston, I'd join one of the two Boston sailing clubs. They will provide instruction and let you use boats for daysailing, overnights or week long cruises. Try sizes from dinghy to 40 footers. I imagine other parts of New England has similar clubs.

Cost is much less than the cost of owning and you get a well maintained and clean boat.

Boston Sailing Center: Sailing School, Sailing Club - Lessons, Memberships, Racing, Cruising, Charters, Instruction
This is a great suggestion. Co ownership or joining a club. Sailboats generally start to get more comfort/cruising friendly at about 30 ft. A 30 ft Catalina can be quite comfortable....
__________________
"I spent most of my money on Booze, Broads and Boats. The rest I wasted" - Elmore Leonard











Cheechako is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 02-02-2013, 19:24   #35
Registered User
 
Sabercat's Avatar

Join Date: Feb 2013
Boat: Nonsuch 30
Posts: 3
Re: Most Wife Friendly Weekend Sailboat?

Quote:
Originally Posted by justwannadoit View Post
wife...central MA...cruising boats suitable for the New England coast down...
Hi Kent,

Based on this, I also think the Nonsuch is ideal. Lots of them in New England and a great owners association to help newbies. Boat has space, comfort, safety and is easy to sail singlehanded if she decides she would rather just lay out on the wide deck or in the large cockpit and get a tan.

I was in a similar situation 10 years ago. While my wife still doesn't really love sailing, she enjoys the boat and willingly joins me cruising, racing and just hanging out at the dock socializing.

Good luck!
__________________
Sabercat is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-02-2013, 00:26   #36
Registered User

Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Australia, Central Coast.
Boat: Boden 36 Triple chine long keel steel, named Nekeyah
Posts: 776
Re: Most Wife Friendly Weekend Sailboat?

I just read this out to my wife, who has been sailing with me for over 30 yrs. Her comment is whatever you do, make it romantic. And when you sail the boat, don't sail it on its ear or try any heroics.

Regards,
Richard.
__________________
boden36 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-02-2013, 02:13   #37
Moderator
 
JPA Cate's Avatar

Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: aboard, cruising in Australia
Boat: Sayer 46' Solent rig sloop
Posts: 10,670
Re: Most Wife Friendly Weekend Sailboat?

Furthermore, if you take her out and make her scared and cold and wet, and then shout at her---forget it! It won't be fun for her. Do what you can to make it fun for her! Some of the preceding posts have been so full of love and learning, it warmed my heart!

Ann Cate, asv Insatiable II, on the hard in Hobart, Tasmania till tomorrow!
__________________
JPA Cate is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-02-2013, 04:59   #38
Registered User

Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 17
Re: Most Wife Friendly Weekend Sailboat?

Well last night the wife's eye got caught on one of the many books I have bought with money that would have been better spent on sailing lessons. She picked it up and paged through it from front to back and then back to front for about twenty minutes. This is great I thought. I expected she would drop it like a bad habit instantly. After her review, she put the book down and stared into the fire for a bit. Then she looked at me and said,"I don't have any interest in sailing around the world". Not the reaction I would have liked, but perfectly understandable. I told her once again that I have NO aspirations of sailing around the world either. Why don't they ever listen! ; ) Next week I am meeting with a friend who has sailed the coast here in New England for about 15 years working his way up from a 16 footer to a 30 foot sloop he sailed with his wife and twin daughters. In a few weeks I will be meeting with another friend who has sailed the Caribbean and East coast. Hopefully they can put me in contact with someone who might let me tag along on a day sail so I can experience saltwater sailing for the first time. I don't know if it will all fall into place, but my initial goal (besides constantly gaining knowledge and some experience ocean sailing) is to sail from Massachusetts to York Beach Maine in the summer of 2014 to meet my family as we spend the week vacationing. They drive and I sail! Well back to the dream. Thank you all for any feedback both past and future.
Regards,
Kent
__________________
justwannadoit is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-02-2013, 05:15   #39
Armchair Bucketeer
 
David_Old_Jersey's Avatar

Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 10,013
Images: 4
Re: Most Wife Friendly Weekend Sailboat?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ann T. Cate View Post
Furthermore, if you take her out and make her scared and cold and wet, and then shout at her---forget it! It won't be fun for her. Do what you can to make it fun for her!
I was going to add a funny about that being kinda obvious - but upon reflection I suspect not so obvious for a few .
David_Old_Jersey is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-02-2013, 10:14   #40
Registered User

Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Wilbur By The Sea, FL
Boat: Catalina 30
Posts: 660
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ann T. Cate View Post
Furthermore, if you take her out and make her scared and cold and wet, and then shout at her---forget it! It won't be fun for her. Do what you can to make it fun for her! Some of the preceding posts have been so full of love and learning, it warmed my heart!

Ann Cate, asv Insatiable II, on the hard in Hobart, Tasmania till tomorrow!

Still in the learning curve myself the wife and I went sailing yesterday. Goofing around I put the boat on a close reach and got the sail trimmed pretty tight and moving fairly fast. Took it near 20% of heal before I let out the sheet a bit. Wife never said a peep until I flattened it out a bit. "I liked that, fun".

YMMV
__________________
Gary
http://svknotaclew.wordpress.com/
The Garbone is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-02-2013, 11:32   #41
Senior Cruiser
 
Roy M's Avatar

Cruisers Forum Supporter

Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Southwestern Yacht Club, San Diego, CA
Boat: Searunner 40 trimaran, WILDERNESS
Posts: 3,041
Images: 4
Re: Most Wife Friendly Weekend Sailboat?

Get a reservation at a nice hotel on the water. Pamper her with massage and spa and all the other goodies the place can provide, including plenty of naps. Then, rent a small boat on a warm and sunny day and go sailing for an hour or two. Come back, get her massaged again, and see what she says about sailing. The next day, go up in size of boat and spend another hour more. Keep this up until she says, "enough"! Then ask her what she thinks about boats. It will be a heck of a lot cheaper in the long run, and probably, a more enduring decision.
__________________
Roy M is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-02-2013, 12:20   #42
Senior Cruiser
 
Therapy's Avatar

Cruisers Forum Supporter

Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: W Florida
Boat: The Jon boat still, plus a 2007 SeaCat.
Posts: 6,894
Images: 4
Re: Most Wife Friendly Weekend Sailboat?

Quote:
Originally Posted by justwannadoit View Post
Well last night the wife's eye got caught on one of the many books I have bought with money that would have been better spent on sailing lessons. She picked it up and paged through it from front to back and then back to front for about twenty minutes. This is great I thought. I expected she would drop it like a bad habit instantly. After her review, she put the book down and stared into the fire for a bit. Then she looked at me and said,"I don't have any interest in sailing around the world". Not the reaction I would have liked, but perfectly understandable. I told her once again that I have NO aspirations of sailing around the world either. Why don't they ever listen! ; ) Next week I am meeting with a friend who has sailed the coast here in New England for about 15 years working his way up from a 16 footer to a 30 foot sloop he sailed with his wife and twin daughters. In a few weeks I will be meeting with another friend who has sailed the Caribbean and East coast. Hopefully they can put me in contact with someone who might let me tag along on a day sail so I can experience saltwater sailing for the first time. I don't know if it will all fall into place, but my initial goal (besides constantly gaining knowledge and some experience ocean sailing) is to sail from Massachusetts to York Beach Maine in the summer of 2014 to meet my family as we spend the week vacationing. They drive and I sail! Well back to the dream. Thank you all for any feedback both past and future.
Regards,
Kent

Bubble pop!

You might want to meet with a few single (now divorced) sailors also (some here on CF even).

For perspective ya know .
__________________
Who knows what is next.
Therapy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-02-2013, 12:35   #43
Registered User
 
micah719's Avatar

Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Somewhere in Germany
Boat: OEM, proportional
Posts: 1,436
Re: Most Wife Friendly Weekend Sailboat?

"......'til death do us part...or a sailboat, whichever is the sooner......."
__________________
Ps 139:9-10 If I take the wings of the morning, and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea; Even there shall thy hand lead me, and thy right hand shall hold me.
micah719 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-02-2013, 12:48   #44
Moderator
 
Hudson Force's Avatar

Cruisers Forum Supporter

Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Lived aboard & cruised for 45 years,- now on a chair in my walk-in closet.
Boat: Morgan OI 413 1973 - Aythya
Posts: 7,894
Images: 1
Re: Most Wife Friendly Weekend Sailboat?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Roy M View Post
Get a reservation at a nice hotel on the water. Pamper her with massage and spa and all the other goodies the place can provide, including plenty of naps. Then, rent a small boat on a warm and sunny day and go sailing for an hour or two. Come back, get her massaged again, and see what she says about sailing. The next day, go up in size of boat and spend another hour more. Keep this up until she says, "enough"! Then ask her what she thinks about boats. It will be a heck of a lot cheaper in the long run, and probably, a more enduring decision.
I like this, but it might only work for the sailor that's married to Pavlov's dog.
__________________
Take care and joy, Aythya crew
Hudson Force is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-02-2013, 12:52   #45
Moderator
 
JPA Cate's Avatar

Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: aboard, cruising in Australia
Boat: Sayer 46' Solent rig sloop
Posts: 10,670
Re: Most Wife Friendly Weekend Sailboat?

You know, guys, an initial reaction of "I don't want to sail around the world," is not unreasonable in someone with zero sailing experience, and who has been a landlubber all her life. How could she know whether she would like it at all?

IMO, it helps if she's a bit "outdoorsy" by choice; I think the adjustment is harder for someone who expects to be coddled. And of course, some women take to it like "a monkey to a tree," as Julie Mor wrote.

But as to what the guys can do that makes it easier, is first to acquire enough skills that he feels comfortable skippering, explain stuff in advance, elicit her participation so as to make her part of it; possibly take on some of the "domestic chores" on the boat; invest in good weather gear">foul weather gear for her (to keep her warm and dry), and please don't shout.
One other thing, don't count on cruising to keep a failing relationship together; those turn out to be water soluble.

Ann Cate, asv Insatiable II, relaunching today in Hobart
__________________

__________________
JPA Cate is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Tags
sailboat

Thread Tools
Display Modes Rate This Thread
Rate This Thread:

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Looking for a Cruising Sailboat ! Soon2bsailor Monohull Sailboats 12 05-10-2014 21:32
Interior Decorating Your Sailboat ? Velma Families, Kids and Pets Afloat 144 17-01-2014 22:58
Annapolis Sailboat Show PA_Lou General Sailing Forum 11 10-10-2011 21:24
Yet Another Newbie Says Hi kungfoo Meets & Greets 9 24-07-2011 20:54



Copyright 2002- Social Knowledge, LLC All Rights Reserved.

All times are GMT -7. The time now is 10:41.


Google+
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Social Knowledge Networks
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.

ShowCase vBulletin Plugins by Drive Thru Online, Inc.