Making the self test... How will you know when you truly become a live aboard?

[Skip JayR]

For all newbees.... every point is the truth as I can confirm by own experience. :-) ... and enjoy the brillant writing of the Cygnus III Blog, too (see link bottom).

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How will you know when you truly become a live aboard?

If your living on a boat these descriptions may ring your ships bell?

1. When staying in a house you always come down stairs backwards
2. You find yourself bleeding from random places at random times.
3. You and your wife define “taking a break” as moving about six feet apart and looking in opposite directions.
4. You avoid telling people you live on a boat just so you don’t have to explain to them you actually sleep on it as well… again.
5. You think butter only comes in soft or liquid form.
6. You only have 3 cooking pots.
7. When invited to dinner at someone’s house you spend all night turning unnecessary lights off.
8. When invited to dinner at someone’s house you ask if you can do your laundry.
9. The doctor assumes your body covered in random bruises is a sign of physical abuse.
10. You are the only one who doesn’t want to win the big screen TV at the charity raffle.
11. You think “Game of thrones” is something you do when two people need the toilet at once.
12. Kids think you’re the coolest person on earth. Adults think you have lost your marbles.
13. When you don’t like the neighbourhood you just move.
14. You are content knowing that sailing is code for boat repair in exotic places.
15. You can assemble a gourmet dinner using only one pot and mouldy cheese.
16. Doing laundry involves a net bag, a moving boat, and 50 feet of line.
17. When asked for a piece of paper, you ask if they want course or fine.
18. You don’t want anything for Christmas that isn’t on a Kindle.
19. Cardboard boxes, wrappers, and packing are thrown away before getting onto the boat.
20. You define a good anchorage as one where you can get Wi-Fi.
21. Your wallet contains more boat cards than business cards
22. You know what a boat card is.
23. When visiting ashore, you wake everybody at daylight screaming “We’re aground “when you open your eyes and don’t see water.
24. You define an easy chore as one where you don’t have to pull everything out of the locker first.
25. You covet new solar panels more than a new car.
26. You can identify boats by the sound of their halyard slapping against their mast.
27. Removing things from the refrigerator is like playing Jenga.
28. In shoe shops you go straight to the flip-flops.
29. You accidentally put your life jacket on when you get in a car.
30. You walk in the rain all the way back to your boat, carrying a backpack, a load of laundry, groceries destined to fall out of their bag at any second… all while thinking how lucky you are.
31. Filling the water tanks is a full day’s work.
32. The only thing you do religiously on Sundays is wonder what day it is.
33. The first thing you do after setting the anchor is to see what other boats you know.
34. You talk to your boat and give parts of it stupid names.
35. You understand and pay attention to the entire weather forecast.
36. You spend weekends sitting in your cockpit with a boat hook beside you, waiting to fend off the next holiday charter boat.
37. Every time you consider buying something you have to decide what you’ll get rid of to make room for it.
38. When visiting ashore you look for instructions on how to use a push button toilet.
39. A three minute hot shower is pure indulgence.
40. You covet your neighbour’s engine more than his wife.
41. Ice cubes are the ultimate luxury.
42. You have to strap a bag full of water to your boom & wait a few hours before you can take a hot shower.
43. You’ve googled to see if there are any companies that make triangular bed sheets.
44. You know that duct tape was invented by God.
45. You only bring out real cups for fancy occasions.
46. Trying to find a partner to sail away with you isn’t being romantic, it’s kidnapping.
47. Your computer homepage is the Weather Service
48. You’ve spent mornings standing naked on the deck of someone else’s boat, adjusting halyards, lashing lines & freezing your ass off.
49. You have given up trying to defend your lifestyle and are content with smugly thinking…..they don’t know just what they are missing.
50. Having sex always rocks your boat.

Source of test: The Cygnus IIII Blog



The motley crew of Cygnus III

None of them would describe themselves as a sailor or even competent crew, just travellers on the sea wanting to see the world.

In 2010 they sold their home and added Cygnus III to their family on the understanding that they would look after her if she looked after them.

Source: The Crew - The Cygnus III Sailing Website.

[PortClydeMe]

51. When you're sitting at anchor, stomach growling, wondering what Internet job you can do from the boat to buy next week's food and diesel.

[Sandero]

with all due respect... this post has to be a joke... and if not it's a waste of time.

[PortClydeMe]

Originally Posted by Sandero

with all due respect... this post has to be a joke... and if not it's a waste of time.

Cruising is a serious business, with a DONATE button. Let's not joke around!

[yachtcowboy]

Thank you for a funny/truthful post. We live aboard our Pearson in Marathon FL and are rehabilitating a 35 year old boat to take her cruising safely for the next few years. I laughed until tears were running down. The funniest things are the ones that are true. We love our life, we laugh, get frustrated, and do it again we wouldn't change. It definitely helps to have a sense of humor if you are going to live aboard.

[PuttingDoctor]

If you have no shore based accommodations, you own nothing with wheels except maybe a bicycle, you can eat, sleep and sail your boat,..... You might be a liveaboard.

[jkindredpdx]

Great, I laughed and blushed...

52. Getting out of bed counts as part of your boat yoga exercise routine...

[senormechanico]

When you buy a turkey for Christmas dinner, you bring a measuring tape to the grocery store to measure it to see if it will fit the oven.

[PortClydeMe]

Originally Posted by jkindredpdx

Great, I laughed and blushed...

52. Getting out of bed counts as part of your boat yoga exercise routine...

haha!

53. When the work of taking the tender into port just to get your regular postal mail seems like a MAJOR hassle.

[MarinerJo]

54: When grocery shopping, you can't wait to get back to the boat because the ground doesn't "move" right.
55: Get land sickness just thinking about having to got to shore.

[PortClydeMe]

56. When you one day wake up to realize that the whales at sea look and smell better than the ones on land.

57. When you think back on your life and ask yourself "Why did I drive in to my job at the toothpick factory for 25 years?"

[SV THIRD DAY]

58. The back of your car has hanging shirts from the laundromat, a Costco mega pack of toilet paper, and step one of boat parts you will give away in step two, known as the capitulation step, which happens once you can't see out the rear view mirror anymore.

[PortClydeMe]

59. When the local plumber in your Manhattan condo says "This is the first time I've worked on a composting head."

60. When you start having recurring wet dreams about Gordon Lightfoot and the Wreck of the Edmond Fitzgerald.

61. When you get a call from the police saying "Your kids heard about your plans and are now holding a mutiny at McDonalds."

62. When you start praying to the 1969 poster of The Calypso anchored in Antarctica hanging in your den.

[PortClydeMe]

63. When you find yourself begging Maine lobstermen to drop more pots in the channel because the game of getting back to port without a snag is becoming a little boring.

[PortClydeMe]

64. When your wife learns that you spent all evening in the driveway trying to figure out how to attach a bow thruster to the front axle of your '67 Belair wagon.