Cruisers Forum
 


Join CruisersForum Today

Reply
 
Thread Tools Rate Thread Display Modes
Old 01-02-2012, 04:31   #31
Registered User

Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Med.. currently Greece
Boat: Oyster 45
Posts: 364
Re: Liveaboards .. Men V Women

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ex-Calif View Post
I'll bake a cake for sex...

Ooops. Sorry misread that bit.
Haven't you put enough buns in the oven?
__________________

__________________
If it works you did it right, if it doesn't you did it wrong.https://www.cygnus3.com/
Nostrodamus is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-02-2012, 05:43   #32
Don't ask if you can't handle it
 
sailorboy1's Avatar

Cruisers Forum Supporter

Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: On the boat somewhere
Boat: Hunter 410
Posts: 12,311
Re: Liveaboards .. Men V Women

Quote:
Originally Posted by pillum View Post
that's why women have evolved with bigger butts ...
I've just decided to keep an eye on this thread in hopes of the entertainment value if this line gets noticed more.
__________________

__________________
jobless, houseless, clueless, living on a boat and cruising around somewhere
sailorboy1 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-02-2012, 05:56   #33
Registered User

Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Med.. currently Greece
Boat: Oyster 45
Posts: 364
Re: Liveaboards .. Men V Women

Quote:
Originally Posted by Don Lucas View Post
I've just decided to keep an eye on this thread in hopes of the entertainment value if this line gets noticed more.
How about a butt lift although this one may have been lifted a little too much.
Attached Thumbnails
Click image for larger version

Name:	Arse Lift.jpg
Views:	111
Size:	24.6 KB
ID:	36768  
__________________
If it works you did it right, if it doesn't you did it wrong.https://www.cygnus3.com/
Nostrodamus is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-02-2012, 05:59   #34
Registered User

Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Med.. currently Greece
Boat: Oyster 45
Posts: 364
Re: Liveaboards .. Men V Women

If you want to know the real differences between men and women I wrote a piece on our blog (about half way down the page)

Sailing Cygnus III around the world
__________________
If it works you did it right, if it doesn't you did it wrong.https://www.cygnus3.com/
Nostrodamus is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-02-2012, 06:04   #35
Armchair Bucketeer
 
David_Old_Jersey's Avatar

Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 10,013
Images: 4
Re: Liveaboards .. Men V Women

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ex-Calif View Post
I'll bake a cake for sex...

Ooops. Sorry misread that bit.
I think you will find that anything with Chocolate works well .....or is that a stereotype? .


Quote:
Originally Posted by justwaiting View Post
i read it the same way but didnt miss out the "either"
DOJ should win an award for useing sex that number of times without the post being delete, respect DOJ
I like to offer something to those Googling past .


But the point I was trying to make was that we are all a mix of various things - albeit some are perhaps constrained by stereotypes / the expectations of the societies they live in........but many are genuinely happy with that.
__________________
David_Old_Jersey is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-02-2012, 06:40   #36
Registered User
 
Bill S's Avatar

Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Full time cruising
Boat: Southern Cross 39 - Nemo
Posts: 37
Re: Liveaboards .. Men V Women

We are starting our third season of full time cruising and liveaboard. I am in my sixties and it was a dream of mine since I was a teenager. I met my girlfriend about 6 years ago and she was into boating when I met her. She was keen to go cruising. Sold the house, most of the stuff and took off.

Now three years and 8000 sea miles into it, I sort of miss the house more than she does. She would like to see her kids and grandkids more, but feels that it is the price for our fabulous lifestyle. However, I don't exactly miss the house, I miss some of the functions of the house. I used to have a workshop and I miss being able use it and make things. I miss being able to leave my guitar out all the time instead of packing it up each time I use it, etc. Our boat closes in on me in dark winter evenings. If I could have a workshop on the boat, I would not need the house. Don't misunderstand, I love the cruising life, but there are things I miss on land.

I have met a lot of cruising couples where one of them misses or wants to hold on to the house. I often ask them what is about the house that they want or need. I never get an answer that the house provides a missing function (like a workshop or music room). Usually, the person I am asking (often a woman) cannot articulate what it is about the house that they need or miss.
__________________
Bill S is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-02-2012, 07:11   #37
Registered User
 
Blue Crab's Avatar

Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Hurricane Highway
Boat: Cal 29
Posts: 3,882
Re: Liveaboards .. Men V Women

Quote:
Originally Posted by pillum
that's why women have evolved with bigger butts ...


Quote:
Originally Posted by Don Lucas View Post
I've just decided to keep an eye on this thread in hopes of the entertainment value if this line gets noticed more.
As a public service announcement, I'd like to remind all of a thread last year or so where Anjou's butt was discussed. If you missed it, it was determined (by Anjou of course) to be not too big or too small, but juuuuust right.
__________________
Blue Crab is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-02-2012, 07:11   #38
Registered User

Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 1,172
Images: 15
Re: Liveaboards .. Men V Women

worth repeating, thanks! I thought chauvinism was sort of dying, but now that I have a midsize boat, I realise it's not so at all. EVERY time husband and I are somewhere and chatting about the boat, without exception the person we speak with turns to HIM to ask technical/boat questions. At which the Handsome Husband, bless his heart, points to me and says, "Ask her - she's the owner/skipper."

Quote:
Originally Posted by Coops View Post
I think that everyone has the right to have their dream, but it is definitely harder for women to fulfil it because of the preconceived notions that others, particularly men, put on them. They can walk into a chandlery/boat sales business and be guaranteed that one of the salespersons will hint that their husband should come with them next time. Even harder is a female working as a salesperson in these businesses and having to deal with the chauvinist/mysogenistic attitudes of some of us males who think that a woman cannot possibly know enough to help them. There are, thankfully, a lot of ladies out there sailing, in charge of their own yachts and life, and i tip my hat to them because they usually have had to be more determined to get there than the equivalent male.

I have done yacht sales, and now work in a chandlery, and have seen all these things happen.

Coops.
__________________
tamicatana is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-02-2012, 07:27   #39
Freelance Delivery Skipper..
 
boatman61's Avatar

Community Sponsor
Cruisers Forum Supporter

Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: UK/Portugal
Posts: 20,203
Images: 2
Send a message via Skype™ to boatman61
pirate Re: Liveaboards .. Men V Women

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bill S View Post

I have met a lot of cruising couples where one of them misses or wants to hold on to the house. I often ask them what is about the house that they want or need. I never get an answer that the house provides a missing function (like a workshop or music room). Usually, the person I am asking (often a woman) cannot articulate what it is about the house that they need or miss.
maybe.....?
Attached Images
 
__________________


Born To Be Wild
boatman61 is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 01-02-2012, 08:15   #40
Registered User

Join Date: May 2010
Location: Somewhere on the Sea
Boat: Picaroon - 40' Hardin Sea Wolf Ketch
Posts: 55
Send a message via Skype™ to heatherbrie
Re: Liveaboards .. Men V Women

I have to say, I find sailing world's condescending articles, seminars and cheerleading on how women cruisers can overcome their fears and missing home fairly offensive. I, for one, am the less fearful one in the sailing relationship, I own the boat and am co-captain, and shared the dream with my husband for 10 years before taking the leap. Among women my age (pushing 40), this isn't an unusual story. I can't fix an engine, and tend to focus on the more domestic side of things, but that's mostly because I was taught those skills as a kid (e.g., cooking, sewing, etc), whereas my husband wasn't, so it makes sense to do the things we're know. Sure, there are lots of gender roles we learn, so there are differences between how men and women often approach cruising, but these are less and less in line with the traditional story about men's and women's roles that you propose: e.g., that the women has to be talked into sailing, really misses the homestead, and is afraid of the sea. This might be the norm for an older generation of sailors, but this is changing rapidly. That old story is pretty stale, and turns off a whole generation of younger women who are enthusiastic about sailing and travelling the world, but are offended by the suggestion that they are somehow the weaker sex and have to be coerced into adventure. What's more, most of the older women cruisers I've met don't fit this stereotype, either -- they're some of the toughest sailors I've met, of either sex.

It seems more that the problem is the one mentioned previously on this thread: namely, that some people (mostly men, it seems from the stereotypical complaints that women don't like sailing) seem to drag partners who are reluctant in the first place into a life they don't really want to lead. That's not a difference between how men and women adjust to the cruising life; it's the difference between how someone who was enthusiastic about it and someone who was reluctant about it adjust. Heck, in our partnership, I've had to keep reassuring my husband that it will get easier and less scary, and he was a full partner in the dream all along; I can't imagine how it would go if I had had to talk him into it!

So my advice to you if you write your article is to talk to lots of different people about their experiences with fear, missing home, etc -- and make sure to talk to younger as well as older cruisers.
__________________
http://www.picaroonblog.com
BETTER DROWNED THAN DUFFERS IF NOT DUFFERS WONT DROWN
heatherbrie is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-02-2012, 08:28   #41
Registered User

Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: San Diego
Boat: Pearson 39-2 "Sea Story"
Posts: 1,109
There is often a fine line between offering support for people who do have certain fears and issues and insisting that women have a defined list of fears and issues. The second runs the risk of scaring off women. Personally, I get really tired of hearing that I won't like something because I am Woman.

My partner was the one who brought up the subject for us, but when it comes down to it, he is the one who has never lived in an efficiency apartment, only moved once in his adult life, only traveled abroad once in his adult life. Hopefully, we will find that our skill sets complement each other as well on board as they do on shore.
__________________
SV Sea Story adventures
Greenhand is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-02-2012, 09:04   #42
CF Adviser
 
Bash's Avatar

Cruisers Forum Supporter

Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: sausalito
Boat: 14 meter sloop
Posts: 7,260
Re: Liveaboards .. Men V Women

Quote:
Originally Posted by Greenhand View Post
There is often a fine line between offering support for people who do have certain fears and issues and insisting that women have a defined list of fears and issues.
It may not be as fine a line as you suggest. I often see gender stereotypes perpetuated on this forum, especially in terms of a vessel's command structure.

Our boat, which is co-owned and operated by a couple, doesn't have a captain. While the captain's role may work well for the navy, it's an archaic concept both as far as how our boat functions and as far as how our marriage functions.

We have a working rule about reefing: if at any moment either of us thinks we should shorten sail, we do so automatically without discussing whether we really need to. I think you could adopt similar rubrics to cruising--if either person feels the need to reconnect with family and friends for a while, attend to that need as soon as it becomes expeditious to do so.

Problems can be solved without having to corner either partner into a restrictive gender role.
__________________
cruising is entirely about showing up--in boat shoes.
Bash is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-02-2012, 10:45   #43
Registered User
 
avb3's Avatar

Cruisers Forum Supporter

Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Florida/Alberta
Boat: Lippincott 30
Posts: 9,913
Images: 1
Re: Liveaboards .. Men V Women

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nostrodamus View Post
How about a butt lift although this one may have been lifted a little too much.
Oy Vey (and I ain't even Jewish), did you take that at a Walmart?
__________________
If your attitude resembles the south end of a bull heading north, it's time to turn around.
avb3 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-02-2012, 11:08   #44
Registered User
 
sailcruiser's Avatar

Join Date: Aug 2011
Boat: S2 11.0A 36'
Posts: 763
I have to laugh when I read responses. Our boat holds no gender roles nor does our life on land. The whole blue/pink thing mystifies me. On land you'd find the wife in the workshop or fixing a car and the husband doing laundry or cooking. Why because that is where we are comfortable. The captains role is not one of power or dominance. It is shared although more commonly held by the wife by choice of the husband because of experience and knowledge but that is changing. The role of captain is solely the final decision maker and accepted the moment either party assumes either role. A lot of discussion happens on any decision but as with any 2 people sometimes you have to agree to disagree and make a decision.

Where we differ is how we handle fear, physical strength, how we manage our tempers and frustration. Generally speaking men are going to have more physical strength than women. Women find ways to compensate using physics or a different tool. Maybe a woman needs a breaker bar for that stubborn bolt before a man does or perhaps she's more willing to go that route earlier. I'm not sure which. In our case the husband is stronger. The wife manages fear better but the husband manages his temper better but hers takes longer to appear and has warnings where his just manifests quickly.

The bottom line here is people are different regardless of gender. What they are comfortable doing is often different usually going back to childhood and how we were raised. She was raised as the son her father never had and in turn would fall under the role 'Tomboy' as a child. He was raised helping the household keep going while both parents worked. She is a wanderer and he is a homebody. The key is being willing to compromise to try and find acceptable common ground for both. Expecting anyone to give a lot more than the other long term just breeds bitterness and disappointment.

I think an interesting facet to this conversation is learning more about the people in their youth. How were these people raised? Were the domineering make caprains raised to "be the man"? Were the women tomboys (those who preferred more sterotypically male activities like playing with cars over dolls)? Are those with wanderlust people that moved a lot like military brats? Are the homebodies people that never or rarely moved? SC
__________________
sailcruiser is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-02-2012, 11:08   #45
Registered User
 
Khagan1227's Avatar

Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Kansas City, MO
Boat: In the hunt again, unknown
Posts: 1,330
Re: Liveaboards .. Men V Women

Our biggest problem was her trying to figure out what to keep and me trying to figure out where to keep it. (I've since discovered that 40' used conex boxes are quite inexpensive and an unreluctant (grown) child can be bribed (or blackmailed) into allowing dad to unload one in their back yard)

On the serious side:
1. Mama was unrealistic about missing the children and grandchild.
2. She also had a BIG misconception that a 41ft boat has the same room as a 41 ft fifth wheel. (Correlation: RVs have water hoses, boats do not)
3. Over estimated her childrens enthusiam to spend a week of their vacation on a small boat with their parents.
__________________

Khagan1227 is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Tags
men

Thread Tools
Display Modes Rate This Thread
Rate This Thread:

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Men Taking Over from Women Rakuflames Families, Kids and Pets Afloat 51 10-09-2011 18:40



Copyright 2002- Social Knowledge, LLC All Rights Reserved.

All times are GMT -7. The time now is 17:46.


Google+
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Social Knowledge Networks
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.

ShowCase vBulletin Plugins by Drive Thru Online, Inc.