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Old 31-01-2012, 06:12   #16
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Re: Liveaboards .. Men V Women

I dont think its odd at all, just like I dont think its unusual to be able to build a boat, drive a truck, a tractor, a D9, handle guns, weld or do anything else which thought of as being out of the ordinary.

Society is hung up on gender roles, tradition and steriotypical senarios.

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Well, let's see.... I am a woman, with a house, four grown children and four grandchildren. I prefer the boat, on the hook somewhere, than home or holidays and birthdays chasing family around to be part of that. It was my dream to go cruising, one I talked my husband easily into. I guess I don't fit your average, as my husband is the one who calls all his friends back home, not me. I have problems relating to other women who have fears, doubts about cutting all ties and just taking off forever. What's not to love about that? I spent years raising my children, and now I am free to go. Why would I ever feel I had to stay so I don't "miss out" or get passed over by someone (the other grandma maybe) who stays? That's just not me (the doting grandma). We invite them to the boat now and again in the summers, but if they don't come, I don't sweat it. Maybe I'm the weird one here, but I just don't "get" that need to be hovering over grown children and grandchildren at ever life event. I'd rather be out there living life before it takes me.
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Old 31-01-2012, 06:44   #17
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Re: Liveaboards .. Men V Women

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I dont think its odd at all, just like I dont think its unusual to be able to build a boat, drive a truck, a tractor, a D9, handle guns, weld or do anything else which thought of as being out of the ordinary.
Whilst I don't think your skill set is "odd" - IME, in total, it's not run of the mill........for either sex.

But that skill set doesn't mean someone won't enjoy baking a cake, whether only for self - or for a partner / family ........for either sex.

IME most people's interests, skills, needs and wants differ from most others - but that doesn't mean they can't complement each other. At the end of the day it's what works for both, not about what others think - and if that involves one sex doing the "traditional" things, then so be it . I can put up a shelf as badly as the next man .

In regard to women IME (admittedly more limited than some others )....I find asking 'em what they like / want works fairly well ............and IMO if that involves doing something different to what either are presently doing - especially something like living on a boat (which will always be a minority interest for both sexes) - then better off asking early doors......imagine discovering (late) that your life long partner has always dreamt of sitting on top of a mountain - knitting .......for either sex.
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Old 31-01-2012, 07:01   #18
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Re: Liveaboards .. Men V Women

Have you banged your head or had a conversion David?

Thats the most objective common sense thing you have ever said. Are you sure your feeling ok?
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Old 31-01-2012, 07:34   #19
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Re: Liveaboards .. Men V Women

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Have you banged your head or had a conversion David?

Thats the most objective common sense thing you have ever said. Are you sure your feeling ok?
My skill set is quite varied .

and varies from day to day .
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Old 31-01-2012, 08:11   #20
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Re: Liveaboards .. Men V Women

The main problem with generalities especially gender stereotypes is that there can be up to 49% of the group that are "different" and don't follow the stereotype. That's a lot of folks. Which also means that most likely there is somebody out there that shares your perspective on life and the journey.

But I would second "Boatman61" post #13 "Motto; not everything comes to those who sit and wait.." that your chances of meeting somebody increases dramatically when you stop sitting around waiting and get moving and meeting new people in new places. For which a cruising boat is one of the best vehicles for that purpose. . . and you can have a lot of fun along the way towards finding that special someone.
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Old 31-01-2012, 21:09   #21
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Hmm....well what I have learned about travelling and other adventures is it is possible to "stay in touch" with people back home, make any place into a "home" and have a growing web of friends as long as you put the effort in and have the necessary equipment. Sure, I can be homesick, but my sense of adventure is much stronger and, really, that's what it comes down to. I think there are just as many of us adventurous women out there as men but maybe fewer who are willing to adventure out there alone.

As for missing hot baths...sail south until the waters are warm, that's my plan
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Old 31-01-2012, 21:24   #22
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Re: Liveaboards .. Men V Women

Not everyone wants to sail around the world exploring until they day they die; I don't see anything wrong with that. Sounds more like people just having problems syncing up with someone. Could be couples where one wants kids and the other doesn't, etc. Just classic "i want this but they don't" issue.
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Old 31-01-2012, 21:38   #23
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Re: Liveaboards .. Men V Women

I would skip the male/female differentiation, if it were my work. It's a stereotype. Overworked. An most importantly, wrong. People are different.
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Old 31-01-2012, 22:49   #24
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Re: Liveaboards .. Men V Women

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I would skip the male/female differentiation, if it were my work. It's a stereotype. Overworked. An most importantly, wrong. People are different.
I think so too. I love my family, mother and brothers and my son, father when he was alive, and I have always factored them into my decision making. I've given up a lot to spend time with them even when I've felt that something else would be more satisfying to me. Their happiness is important to me.

I know I don't experience what some women have expressed to me as the need to see their family but the end result is the same. To me it's just part of the warp and woof that makes the cloth.
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Old 01-02-2012, 01:08   #25
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Re: Liveaboards .. Men V Women

For the couple of million years women have been the 'sit down and weave' homemakers and men have been the bread (& meat) winners, that's why women have evolved with bigger butts and men have evolved with bigger muscles. You can't change evolution in a few years, and IMHO women will always have an unconscious urge to make a home for their family. There are some who will be happy to call a boat a home, but I'd argue that even they would also like a permanent homebase also.

For me I have a wife who likes sailing (though with little real experience of it), but who's priority was to have a home. So we bought the home and a cheaper older boat that we'll retire on in a couple of years, having worked hard to have both. I'm not saying this is the right way for everyone, but I'd bet anything that most women in this world would prioritize a house over a boat. Just got to compromise and reach a consensus to keep both halves of the human race happy...
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Old 01-02-2012, 01:08   #26
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Re: Liveaboards .. Men V Women

I agree that everyone is different but I believe in this case you can generalise to a certain extent.

There will be exceptions but so far I have found the following.

1) It is usually the man who has the idea to "sell up and sail" and it is often a long held dream.
2) Women in general do have a harder time leaving friends and family behind.
3) They take longer to adjust and than either love it or hate it.
4) Women in general don't like long passages and prefer to be in sight of land or prefer day sails.
5) There are more worried about the dangers of offshore sailing.

These are some general points and as I have said it is not always the case. There are women who are far better sailors than men and are the motivation.

There are a lot of women who do not want to take their partners dream away from them so they will often live ashore and join the partner at different times during the year. He will often live aboard all year. This happens a lot, particularly in the UK/ Europe and is often a good compromise.

What I do know is that if one half does not like the life it can really cause bad, bad problems. It is almost impossible to carry on living the dream if only one half has that dream. Then a big decision has to be made.

I have come across quiet a few couples where one half does not like the life (not always the woman) and they sell the boat to move back to a house. Within a year or so they find they actually prefer living on a boat and move back.

As I say these are pretty general points but they have come up time and time again. In some cases a compromise does have to be found but if you can keep the other half happy you stand a fr better chance of enjoying the adventure.... together.
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Old 01-02-2012, 01:24   #27
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Re: Liveaboards .. Men V Women

I think that everyone has the right to have their dream, but it is definitely harder for women to fulfil it because of the preconceived notions that others, particularly men, put on them. They can walk into a chandlery/boat sales business and be guaranteed that one of the salespersons will hint that their husband should come with them next time. Even harder is a female working as a salesperson in these businesses and having to deal with the chauvinist/mysogenistic attitudes of some of us males who think that a woman cannot possibly know enough to help them. There are, thankfully, a lot of ladies out there sailing, in charge of their own yachts and life, and i tip my hat to them because they usually have had to be more determined to get there than the equivalent male.

I have done yacht sales, and now work in a chandlery, and have seen all these things happen.

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Old 01-02-2012, 01:42   #28
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Re: Liveaboards .. Men V Women

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For the couple of million years women have been the 'sit down and weave' homemakers and men have been the bread (& meat) winners, that's why women have evolved with bigger butts and men have evolved with bigger muscles. You can't change evolution in a few years, and IMHO women will always have an unconscious urge to make a home for their family. There are some who will be happy to call a boat a home, but I'd argue that even they would also like a permanent homebase also.

...
For a few hundred years (in our society) the domain of men has been paid work for 8 hours a day, and the domain of women has been unpaid work that involves extensive multi tasking 24/7. At retirement men have ceased work and planted their expanding butts and guts on chairs and tried to improve the efficiency of the house work. Women natural have resisted and resented this intrusion. Now we are saying abandon your domain and live in mine. We believe that if men give the honorary title of Admiral women will be satisfied and grateful. Why would most women want to give up their home. Perhaps men should actively seek to evolve if we hope to talk those who should be more important to us than boats into sharing a life style that we want. OK so that a generalization, i can already feel my butt getting warmed up.
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Old 01-02-2012, 04:26   #29
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Originally Posted by David_Old_Jersey
.

But that skill set doesn't mean someone won't enjoy baking a cake, whether only for self - or for a partner / family ........for either sex.
.
I'll bake a cake for sex...

Ooops. Sorry misread that bit.
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Old 01-02-2012, 04:31   #30
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Re: Liveaboards .. Men V Women

i read it the same way but didnt miss out the "either"
DOJ should win an award for useing sex that number of times without the post being delete, respect DOJ
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