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Old 17-07-2013, 19:25   #31
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Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Greater Seattle
Boat: wayquiez centurion 47
Posts: 112
Originally Posted by watergypsy View Post
For the last seven years...
Dear watergypsy

I will not give you any advice but to talk to your partner. But I will put out my tale so that you can consider.

These are heady questions that could effect your whole life.

I have always loved sailing. I have a vivid memory of me at 5 seeing my first real sailboat.
I learned to sail young and at 8 I had my own boat.
When I was at university I met a young lady who didn't like water let alone boats.
We married and I sailed no more than once a week.
We had 2 kids and I stayed at home as much as possible to help raise them.
She made me the promise that when they were old enough I could go back to sail.
Well my youngest caught the bug too. So I took her to sailing lessons and meetings and I remembered what I was missing. The chikdren were big by now (university and late highschool). However me sailing while my youngest was wasn't acceptable.

What followed was something that should be avoided and culminated in her putting me in hospital. And too many lawyers.

For me I have come to realise all the years and miles I could have sailed. Not that I would for one moment not have my children.

There is a boat in the works and life is so much better. The children are surprisingly good about it. Having a happy father is way better than the grump I had become.

For me sailing is something that never left me.
I think I would have been content with mostly once a week and may be some costal vacations.
But that was too much for her.

I suspect that for my marriage it was may be a symptom rather than the total reason.

But I do know that real dreams will nearly kill you if you try and give them up.


S/V Earendel
Wauquiez Centurion 47
mub is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 17-07-2013, 21:18   #32
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Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 40
Re: Gobsmacked, he doesn't want to go now.

Please say there was some discussion before the "then he bought a bus" happened. Even without the prior cruising plans, if he just came home one day and said "Honey, come out to the driveway, I don't have the Civic anymore....." you need to work on some other issues before worrying about how you're going to travel with this person.

Aside from that, this sounds rather like he may never have been fully on board with the idea, and hoped that you would get over the more extreme end of it, if he gave in on the easier stuff.

deepblueln is offline   Reply With Quote

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