Gay life: cruising and aboard a ship

[atoll]

Originally Posted by Randyonr3

If this is the case, I would think you would post a question on a travel site for Gays as to what the laws are in a particular country, That or you keep your mouth shut about your sexual preferance to yourself as most people do..
As I pointed out in the first posts I made, why is it you need approval in who you are.. Even your name, gaysailorbill, you very well could have used "SailorBill" but you have to stick your sexual preferance in our faces..

Most all people, be it cruisers or not, dont care who you are being Gay, we care for you as a person,
You'll find you'll be accepted far more as that person if you keep your sexual life to yourself and quit flaunting it..
There is No issue with anyone being Gay, Its the issue that gay people , Like yourself, have this need to feel thay have to share it with everyone else... as approval in who they are..
And as I said, I dont give a damn what you do on your own time..

I think you are making a mountain out of a molehill.

and I think your issue,to quote in your own words is

"There is No issue with anyone being Gay, Its the issue that gay people , Like yourself, have this need to feel thay have to share it with everyone else... as approval in who they are..

I equate this to the early civil rights movement in the usa,it was not until the discriminated against people got out on the streets and presented their case to gain recognition that they were not second class citizens.

until then discrimination was an accepted fact of life,that most people were unaware they were commiting,as they had never had need to think otherwise.

ingrained racism,like ingrained homophobia is something that has to be unlearned..........being "in your face" is a tool that work's in our western democratic workers paradise for facilitating social change


inmho randyonr3

[Leo Ticheli]

Originally Posted by Randyonr3

Straight up from an old salt.. Why is it that When someone is "Gay" it seems they need some type of recognition in approval of who they are.. I dont give a damn what your sexual orientation is, or who or what you play with on your own time in your own place.
I've never met a straight person who would ask a question as the OP did..
And Its Bull to expect to be treated any different than any one else..

Randy, I've been trying to understand your post and I would like to ask you a few questions.

I could be mistaken, but your post seems rather disapproving; was it your intention to disapprove of people being open about their sexuality or just their right to post about it on this forum?

After so many years of discrimination, vilification, and even outright persecution, it seems natural to me that gay people would be interested in sharing their experiences on the water. What, it any, problems do you have with that?

From your website, I see that you are in the sewing and embroidery business; I admire your talent for doing such delicate work and being unafraid to enjoy what some regard as "woman's" work. Wasn't it Rosie Grier who wrote a book on needlepoint for men? Back on point, do you discriminate against gay people when they patronize you or refuse to serve them?

Thanks in advance, Randy, for helping me understand; forums can sometimes leave distorted impressions.

Fair winds,

Leo

[JulieMac]

Originally Posted by Randyonr3

You'll find you'll be accepted far more as that person if you keep your sexual life to yourself and quit flaunting it..
There is No issue with anyone being Gay, Its the issue that gay people , Like yourself, have this need to feel thay have to share it with everyone else... as approval in who they are..
And as I said, I dont give a damn what you do on your own time..

Wow, can you be a little more insecure? I suppose he shouldn't flaunt it by not acknowledging his partner in public, acting too close or God forbid maybe hugging his loved one?

Your comment about checking out gay travel sites or forums is sensible. As Greg Rubin mentioned, some countries will imprison, beat or harass gays. Even those people Suspected of being so, are in peril- straights included. Time to take those John Wayne or Liam Neesom tough guy classes! Us sailing gals better work on our dame in distress skills, too.

[chris95040]

Originally Posted by Randyonr3

If this is the case, I would think you would post a question on a travel site for Gays as to what the laws are in a particular country, That or you keep your mouth shut about your sexual preferance to yourself as most people do..

Looks like my last post hasn't quite sunk in yet.

Would you tell people enquiring about cruising on a shoestring budget to go 'post your question on a site for poor people'?

This is a cruising forum.

It has a wealth of knowledge about cruising, from many different perspectives. It's perfectly acceptable for someone of any 'group' to seek advice here about any aspect of cruising, including aspects specific to any and all 'groups' they may identify with.

You also blather on a bit about 'sticking your sexual preference in our faces'. Have you ever turned on the television? Sexual preference is constantly stuck in our faces. You criticize a name like 'gaysailor', would you go out of your way to criticize a name like 'chickmagnet' or 'boobyinspector' ? Of course you wouldn't, because the sexual preference referred to in those (misogynist) names isn't different and threatening to you.

And as other folks have pointed out, it's perfectly fine for people to express pride in a group they identify with. We all do it, and it even has a (SLOW) positive impact on civil rights when it helps increase our collective comfort with a group that we've been treating as second-class citizens.

Anyways, no one forced you to read this particular thread, so the claim about sticking it in your face is outright ridiculous. But taking your own advice, why don't you go post these concerns on a website devoted bigoted imbeciles?

[gaysailorbill]

Originally Posted by Randyonr3

If this is the case, I would think you would post a question on a travel site for Gays as to what the laws are in a particular country, That or you keep your mouth shut about your sexual preferance to yourself as most people do..
As I pointed out in the first posts I made, why is it you need approval in who you are.. Even your name, gaysailorbill, you very well could have used "SailorBill" but you have to stick your sexual preferance in our faces..

Most all people, be it cruisers or not, dont care who you are being Gay, we care for you as a person,
You'll find you'll be accepted far more as that person if you keep your sexual life to yourself and quit flaunting it..
There is No issue with anyone being Gay, Its the issue that gay people , Like yourself, have this need to feel thay have to share it with everyone else... as approval in who they are..
And as I said, I dont give a damn what you do on your own time..

Well your comments just prove the point that the cruising world reflects the landlubbing world. There's really not that much difference. Although cruisers bond over sailing issues.... Which makes sense since it is their one shared interest.

As for shoving it in your face, well that phrase is just chock full of Freudian connotations that only you and you therapist can work out. ;-)

[scuba0_1]

So what issues to gay sailors have that non gay sailors don't have. Do you flaunt that you are gay, how do people know any different that I happen to be straight than you are gay.

Sent from my SM-N910V using Cruisers Sailing Forum mobile app

[mbuckner]

[Cadence]

Originally Posted by Varlan

Hi, I've been reading the threads on this forum and I find it fascinating how people come together and share their stories. However I have noticed that not much is said about gay life while cruising. So, I want to start this topic for those who would like to share and those that would like to learn what it's like being gay and living in the vast open blue ocean.

Please note that this topic is not about ones sex escapades, but the experiences of gay cruisers, being sailers or power boater, while adventuring the coast, the islands or the world.

What have you experience while cruising?
Please share the good, the bad and the ugly.

Also, this topic is not restricted to only gay people, our straight brethren are also welcomed.

Lastly, please refrain from posting crew wanted adds, this is not the place for this.

Respectfully yours

Varlan

I'm not Gay and can understand your post. It doesn't seem like you are looking for my opinion or recognition but the things others have encountered being Gay.

As most have said the boating community in general could give a damn if you are Gay. You expected some negative replies.

I hope you possibly get some feedback from the Gay boating community. There may be some places you may wish to avoid in the world and such?

[richard_wb]

Originally Posted by scuba0_1

So what issues to gay sailors have that non gay sailors don't have. Do you flaunt that you are gay, how do people know any different that I happen to be straight than you are gay.

Sent from my SM-N910V using Cruisers Sailing Forum mobile app

Well, for example, when entering foreign ports, immigration officers have asked me (as captain) how I know, or what is my relationship with, my crew member. My standard answer was "we're friends," even though we were in a long-term relationship. It was the easiest answer, considering that I didn't always know the country-specific laws that immigration might be following, or the personal beliefs of the individual immigration officer. It wasn't a big deal, but it's an example the occasional self-censoring, or monitoring of what should be said, that is sometimes prudent.

[sailorboy1]

I don't understand why people would expect being on a boat would be different than on land far as being gay.

[atoll]

Originally Posted by sailorboy1

I don't understand why people would expect being on a boat would be different than on land far as being gay.

you have never been to Uganda,or many Islamic countries,or infact the UK until the late 50's

[sailorboy1]

Originally Posted by atoll

you have never been to Uganda,or many Islamic countries,or infact the UK until the late 50's

Nope, but I bet that being gay on boat there is pretty much like being gay there on land. And that was my only point.

BTW - I'm sure is lots of places we could replace being gay to a different religion and get the same result.

[socaldmax]

Originally Posted by skipmac

What's lost in translation? Unless I'm very confused I think both of us were saying that you see the same mix of humanity in the cruising world that you see on land. No?

My mistake, I misread reefmagnet's sentence, I thought he wrote, "I think you'll find cruisers are a little different from any other segment of society." Meaning that cruisers are nothing like people on land, but the "a" wasn't there, changing the entire meaning.

This fit in with what I've seen a lot of other people post: that cruisers are a rare breed, willing to simplify their lives and live at sea, unlike the vast majority of land locked people. My interpretation is this type of open minded willingness to try something new and explore the world at sea level is not all that common on land.

Yes, I think cruisers start out as a cross section of society in terms of what their professions were, but the call of the sea is what sets them apart from those who never leave shore. I think that in itself is a big difference from mainstream society.

Again, my apologies!

[socaldmax]

Originally Posted by gaysailorbill

While we masculine gays who don't rub our lifestyle in anyone's face appreciate your kind words... REALLY?! How about saying nice things about people who share their lives with you. I'm sure your straight friends talk about their children and grandkids and make jokes on occasion about the sex they have with their wives... Or more likely don't have.

I think it's a southern CA thing, but I'm not exaggerating when I say everyone else is concerned about their family and no one or nothing else. Not current events, not the health or welfare of their "friends." Maybe I've met some incredibly self centered people, but that's how they behave, so that's how I call 'em.

They're all over facebook, but wouldn't lift a finger for anyone if their lives depended on it.

[scuba0_1]

Originally Posted by sailorboy1

Nope, but I bet that being gay on boat there is pretty much like being gay there on land. And that was my only point.

BTW - I'm sure is lots of places we could replace being gay to a different religion and get the same result.

Yea that's true decapitation is the same I guess

Sent from my SM-N910V using Cruisers Sailing Forum mobile app